hydralien-40230 Reviews

Damsel (2024)

Screamfest

[3/10 · 10 March 2024]

I mean, it's not that bad - it's a fairly decent fantasy story, dragons and all. Some evil queen, some brave heroine, some bad decisions and sacrifices, some victorious riding into the proverbial sunset in the end. It's not that bad.

At the same time, it kinda is - most of the emotions are conveyed via screaming (or last-breath-panting), most of the action is secondary and uninventive, most of the character choices are questionable at best. And actors don't seem engaged much into what's happening (or perhaps what's happening is not much to engage with) - it looks more like a inexpensive theatric play rather than a movie, despite the actors' potential.

I'd not recommend this one - it's not even entertaining, unfortunately. I'd rather suggest re-watching both of the Enola Holmes movies, if one is craving for some Millie Bobby Brown's performance - that one was good. This one is not.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Less exciting

[6/10 · 2 April 2023]

On the positive side, cinematography is great, it is fast-paced and all the scenes and angles look gripping and impressive. Additionally, they really either shot most of it in Paris or made up a pretty convincing CGI version of it, so also looks authentic. Core actors are still doing great job portraying their characters, and some additional roles are also quite solid. Almost-3-hours runtime might be a bit much, but not too bad overall as it balances the story development with action scenes fairly well.

On the less positive, the fights are a lot less inventive than in previous installments - it's mostly "shoot them in the head" and that's about it. No killing people with a horse or a book or a carrot. Wait no the carrot is from another movie. Still sad though. The traffic scene around Arc de Triomphe was a nice exception, but even that was fairly monotonous. What makes it palatable is the fights are mixed with story development, but the fight themselves are quite boring.

Additionally, some characters are either not explained at all (and neither is their motivation) like Nobody, or disappear and leave the story lines dangling (like Akira), or just annoying and pathetic (like Marquis), which makes the whole story feel a lot less solid and definitive comparing to the previous installments (or at least comparing to chapters 1 and 2).

Overall it's a decent continuation, and a good evolution of the storyline, but somehow less exciting than the previous chapters.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Visual delight with unrelatable characters

[6/10 · 29 March 2023]

As it was said many times in the reviews, it's a visual delight - it's stunning, realistic yet alien, and it shows a deep considerations into every part of the biosphere and how to make the wildlife alien yet believable. But not just wildlife, human tech is (mostly) equally well designed, with an attention to minute details and usage. Everything looks grand, and bringing more avatar characters on screen feels more immersive than before. Additional nod to the water tribe evolutionary traits - it's subtle but effective environmental adaptations, great idea.

Fights and chases are also amazing, even when it's just a rehash of the previous stunts - they're dynamic, gripping, frightening and overwhelming. Very well done.

With all that meticulous and thoughtful world design, it's almost shocking how unfitting and grotesquely generic the characters are. Jake Sully is a horrible father, which is justified by a philosophical "A father protects. It's what gives him meaning." - except the way it's done in the movie, it makes a disgusting role model and a whole bunch of daddy issues coming forward. Kids are like taken of some generic teenage show (the constant "bro" thing, ugh!). Same villain that somehow lost the tenacity and iron spite of his previous self.

The story is very straightforward, with a predictable amount of holes awful decisions - it's not much t o say about, especially given its unfinished nature in anticipation of future chapters. It's OK.

Overall, I think it's worth watching - not just because it's a long-awaited project, but because it's really a spectacle. I'll watch it again, I'm sure. And I'll go see the next movie when it's released. I just wish they'd put more thoughts in the character design next time.

Poker Face (2023– )

The Natasha Lyonne Show

[8/10 · 15 March 2023]

The main charm and greatest highlight of this show in the lead actress, Natasha Lyonne - and though her performance is not much different from what she did in The Russian Doll or even back in the Orange Is The New Black, that's a good thing: she's a character. She's THE character. So having her in as much screen time as possible is a good thing too.

The series have other benefits, too - it's off-beat, it takes time to lay out the premise for every episode, there are good actors in each, there's always murder, profanity and greed. It's amazing!

There are downsides though, too. The show is fairly repetitive - every episode is the same: someone gets killed, lead character is around this way or another, and in the end it gets solved. That way or the other. Which is good, but gets a little stale by the end of the season. And then the overarching story - it's somewhat there, but between the first and the last episodes of the season, it barely gets a brief reference in each episode - which makes the whole affair somewhat less relatable than I'd like it to be.

Overall it's quite good though, hope there will be season 2.

Babylon (I) (2022)

You And What Greatness?

[6/10 · 13 March 2023]

The movie is really vivid at times - peculiarly (or perhaps deliberately?), the more vivid the less rich the end result is: the glitter and madness of the backstage shines most brightly when they still film the black-and-white silent pictures. And so is the movie pace and coherency - it's a sharply cut but consistent narrative for roughly the first half of the movie, and then is starts leaping years ahead and the narrative loses much of its meaning and focus. The last part before the ending brings madness anew - but surprisingly a completely different kind, as if taken from another story for no particular reason: those few last characters add nothing to the fact that they were already mentioned, yet the scene goes on and on.

And then the whole message is unclear - from the beginning and the epilogue (and from a few dialogues in between), it seems as if it's an ode to The Cinema, something grand and timeless and "bigger than you and me" - but most of what happens inside is about greedy and soul-crushing and disposable nature of the whole showbiz, where nobody's a victim but everyone's trying to get what they want at any cost.

So it's a grand spectacle (half of the time) and a frenetic misanthropy (the other half). Perhaps still worth watching though.

The Consultant (2023)

An oddball for no reason

[5/10 · 13 March 2023]

It's an interesting blend of mundane and bizarre - and actors that are mostly depicting their roles appropriately to that blend: Christoph Waltz being the latter, and everyone else the former. And this blend kinda works because of everyone trying to be at their place and play out either the regular IT workers and "creative liaisons", or the mysterious consultants with murky background and unpredictable behavior.

There's a problem though - the show itself is quite toothless for all the suspense it builds and all the secrets it mentions or hints towards. It raises so many questions that it's easier to just "go with the flow" at some point - but the flow lacks the bite, the reveal, the blood at least: everything that seems severe and menacing does not turn into anything real in the end.

So... Nice acting, good mix of usual and unexpected, but not sharp or climatic or anything in the end.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

2/3 great, 1/3 boring

[6/10 · 10 February 2023]

The first 2/3 of the movie picks up the pace and the story right where the previous episode left it, and maintains it really well with a changes in scenery, characters, storyline but keeping the dynamics and inventiveness of the murder tools and methods. So far so good - everyone is just where they need to be!

But then the last third emerges - and while it technically ramps up the dynamics (it's pretty much a non-stop fight), it's just dull and boring and the very opposite of the inventive bravado of the first 2/3 of screen time. The culmination (very last minute or so) is a great segway into the next chapter - but at that point it's nigh impossible to care anymore...

In from the Cold (2022)

Awful and amazing at the same time

[6/10 · 10 February 2023]

This show is a stunningly mixed bag - as if for each good idea, someone wanted to counter-balance it with a ba one. In the end the show is watchable and even enjoyable, but this rollercoaster of impressions gets annoying at some point.

To explain what I mean, some examples.

Actors who play Russians speak the real language - not some learned phrases they can't properly pronounce, the real thing. A bit bookish, but very native otherwise - sounds and feels great! But for reasons beyond me, actors who play Spaniards speak to each other mostly in accented English with random Spanish phrases. Both have equal screen time so why IDK.

Some script ideas are subtle and realistic, like relationships in the flashbacks or the mother/daughter relationships later, but some larger one are crude and cliched and convoluted and contradicting, especially later in the season and the big reveal in the end.

The past in the flashback is stylish and bright and playful (and also subtly brutal), and also quite coherent - but the present is all over the place: too many characters with not enough backstory and vague motivation, bleak and passable scenery and unsurprising revelations.

To summarise: good acting, OK story, haphazard storytelling. Not awful but not amazing either - or rather, awful and amazing at the same time.

You decide.

Cunk on Earth (2022)

Pointless

[4/10 · 8 February 2023]

It's funny for a minute or two, but it quickly becomes just a stream of purposefully idiotic world views stringed together for no apparent reason - so there's a halfwit unintelligent journalist talking nonsense, so what? It feels somewhat derogatory, even - and for no clear goal.

Lead actress is doing a great job, the rest is quite believable, and the jokes are kinda good (though cringy at times) - but without a reason it's just an exercise in exposing stupidity. The problem is, it's not such a nice thing to do constantly - it works great as a satire in e.g. "Don't Look Up", but it's natural there, and it's more of an ignorance really. It kinda works in "Death to 2020/21" but just marginally. And it doesn't work here.

Oh well.

The Woman in the House (2022)

An oddball. A good one.

[8/10 · 29 January 2023]

It's an oddball of a show - it disguises itself as a murder mystery so well it becomes one; meaning it actually IS a murder mystery, but it's hard to tell because its ever-so-slightly tongue-in-cheek moments that are mentioned ones and not really talked about much later, so it's hard to say whether it was a satire moment or it still is.

Because of that oddball quality it's hard to say if there's a specific message to the show - everything is not what it seems? Mixing prescription pills with alcohol doesn't make us delirious? Criminal rehabilitation works? Could dead raccoon become a good lamp? It's confusing at times.

With all that, there's at least one undoubtedly great component to the show - the cast. Everyone's at their place, but Kristen Bell really shines here, again - on the level of character development and believability it's well on par with "The Good Place". She's great.

Ready or Not (I) (2019)

Too serious a joke

[4/10 · 29 January 2023]

A fairly gory occultist... I'm actually not sure what. It's not really a horror as it's not really scary, and there's a fair bit of comedy in all the slaughter. But it's also not a comedy as the whole premise is taken way too seriously, and at times it looks like a drama about escaping satanic family cult. So it's both and neither.

There are certain good things in this film - actors are playing their characters well, movie is off to a good start and up to some point about halfway through it looks like a gory fun. But then it takes a turn to an unexpectedly serious attitude and goes downhill from there - then it's just unimaginative and uninventive blood, mutilation and screaming.

Very passable.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)

Terrible voice acting

[4/10 · 29 January 2023]

Starting with an obviously great part, the animation and all the puppetry is incredible - all done incredibly well, with attention to the minute details, beautifully crafted and drawn.

But as much as the visuals are incredibly fascinating, the voice acting is incredibly annoying - I'd like to say it's just for Pinocchio, but no - pretty much all characters are voiced half-heartedly, voiced don't match the pace or intensity of the scenes or the characters. But yes, the voice of Pinocchio is the most annoying and entirely out of place. And what's with the singing?! It was totally uncalled for to make it a musical - it doesn't match the mood, singing is mostly awful and just as out of place as the voice acting itself...

Alas, it's not a good film, which is a terrible pity considering how much effort was invested into making it, and how it could have been with a matching cast...

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Gory joy

[7/10 · 29 January 2023]

It's a gory massacre with cute editing and effects, is what it is. And some bizarre over-the-top situations like the protagonist outfit and guns problem - it balanced well on the edge of being under- or overplayed, but it all worked well together. And Great acting of Daniel Radcliffe portraying clueless nobody. The rest of the cast is less natural - save for maybe the Ned Dennehy playing the villain - thought that kinda plays well into the violent comic-book-style of the movie.

So it's a gory joy beginning to end, though not without problems - the ending feels weak, the plot itself is very generic "the nobody saves the girl" kind of story, thought there are several good turns in a "I wish, but not really" fashion which kinda compensates for the dullness of the overarching story.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable fun - could have been better, but also good the way it is.

The Menu (2022)

Cooking with obsession

[8/10 · 29 January 2023]

It's hard to say who are the protagonists and antagonists in this movie - noone and everyone, really. My impression was is't not made for the viewer to pick a side - there are several sides there, and the motivation of each is more or less to justify their deeds, or to survive. It's unreal and realistic at the same time - characters are all believable and acted impeccably. Situation is indeed bizarre but not unthinkable - it's an allegory/satire, of course, but also a survival and obsession story.

I did like the performance of leading cast - Anya Taylor-Joy and Ralph Fiennes - quite a lot. The rest of the cast were portraying their characters just right as well, but the movie is essentially centered around the Margot and the Chef, and they were great.

The movie is also well paced and gripping, and builds and maintains momentum really well, all the way to the culmination. Breaking down chapters into a menu courses and displaying the ingredients is a brilliant idea in general, though dessert was the absolute best.

It has some holes in the story and scenes that feel either unneeded or unfinished, as if the story was larger but was cut in the end, but those are minor and don't really distract from the main plot. Also it really relies on what viewer would think of it, and if looking at it from a "wealthy people punishment" perspective, it's really not unjustified well and the movie is not entirely clear on the message, so it's an interpretation that dictates the impression.

Overall, I truly enjoyed it, start to end.

Kaleidoscope (2023)

Mixed bag

[6/10 · 5 January 2023]

There are many things done right in these mini series - the mixing of the story parts, some twists, the suspense, the details of the main characters' backstory, the openness about certain relationships, some heist ideas, how it spans decades. Even some things that look bizarre are actually plausible (you could be surprised if you google about gait recognition). In addition to that, the cast is doing a pretty good job in portraying the characters, and some characters are very well written and thoroughly developed. And the ending - not the last episode, but the logical ending of the story - is really good. Not exactly unpredictable, but very honest, and perhaps the best ending for the story there could be.

Unfortunately with all those good parts comes a great deal of not-so-good parts as well. Like, what's a backstory of all the other characters? Why are they such an amateurs if they want to pull a heist of the century? Are they disposable? And even if they are, why is the show so serious about them, especially towards the end? Some of them are just extremely annoying and obviously unreliable, and the others just go with it for no apparent reason. Some are just not nearly as talented as the job requires, and it doesn't bother the leader at all - and it's not at all justified at the end. Some tech is cutting-edge to the point of it might never be practical (like said gait detection), and some is just too old-school for the case (like visual monitoring of vital things). I could go on, even though I'm sure there's many more that I missed, but I think I made my point already.

All in all, a bunch of good ideas mixed together with a (perhaps larger) bunch of bad ones. A decent watch, especially when it starts and when it (logically, not visually) ends, but it's not nearly as solid as I'd hoped it to be...

Wendell & Wild (2022)

The Unusual

[8/10 · 28 December 2022]

What fascinated me the most in this film was the animation - it's quirky, it's schematic at times, but it's very unusual. The next thing was the plot and the characters - not to expose anything, it's quite unusual as stories go. Voice acting was pretty good as well, and even though the general story isn't particularly new, it was still a nice envision of it.

The downside is there's not enough place for a character development, so every one of them gets a very basic description without much background, which is a shame as it could've added much needed depth to the narrative.

But it's still a very unusual and peculiar and exciting animation, I'm glad I decided to watch it!

Bullet Train (2022)

Solid fun

[8/10 · 28 December 2022]

I haven't had so much fun watching a movie in quite a long time - I was joyfully grinning almost throughout the whole movie. It's a non-stop sequence of violent or unexpected stuff, it's great!

All the actors are amazing, including several cameos - all but the main villain. It feels like we're back in 80's with what villains we get lately, including speaking foreign language with a horrible terrible accent. With how great the rest of the film is, it's a crying shame what they decided to do to a villain character. Ugh!

It's still a great fun though, I was delighted to watch it even considering the bland finale - the journey itself was amazing!

The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)

Mediocre

[4/10 · 28 December 2022]

The best part of the series? Maybe 10 seconds of the screen tim Dylan Moran got in it. The rest is mostly cliched scenes and dialogues, bizarre plot turns and out-of-place CGI. Well, actors are pretty good, and the characters are OK (the dwarf warrior especially) but the rest is passable - I scrolled through the last episode, so generic it was.

This will hopefully adds to the Witcher story the Netflix is creating, but it's similarly incoherent and awkward as the 2nd season of the Witcher. Plus the CGI looks as if they didn't want to spend time on details do it's mostly straight lines and flat surfaces with no details, or two monsters that get maybe a minute or two on screen.

Glass Onion (2022)

Inconsistent and goofy

[5/10 · 28 December 2022]

To the point: the movie is inconsistent as if it cannot decide what it wants to be. Is it a murder mystery? Well there is a murder, but it takes a lot of time to get to it, and said time isn't spent very seriously - more of a buffonade and comedy and witty dialogues. Is it a satire then? Not exactly - it's more of a gag-like humor, but it's also serious when it comes to actual murder. It's something in between, but it doesn't do either part no good. Additionally, the antagonist character feels very second-hand - another tech billionaire with a penchant for crazy ideas? That's not exactly fresh.

Actors are mostly doing a good job, though Benoit Blanc is way too goofy and childish, to a point when it's not even funny. The rest of the cast is solid, though characters are similarly portrayed in an uncertain manner.

It's not exactly horrible, but it's a far cry from the first film.

Violent Night (2022)

For 'tis the season!

[8/10 · 23 December 2022]

It's pretty good! There's still a part about family values in there, and the Santa character behaves as a spooked burglar (though at this point it seems like a distinctive trait of David Harbour), but overall it's a great gory fun, for 'tis the season!

The actors are mostly amazing, perhaps grandmother being least believable, pretty much copying the manners of Shohreh Aghdashloo's Avasarala from The Expanse - but she didn't have much screen time so no big deal. The rest were great, John Leguizamo in particular.

And the gory version of "Home Alone" traps... the highlight of the whole film, that was!

The Peripheral (2022)

Thrilling start that gets nowhere

[6/10 · 5 December 2022]

It started really well - a somewhat-distant future in rural town, some odd tech coming in, good approximation on the next 10 years of tech new-ish tech already around, good actors, promising mystery.

It evolved even better from there - without spoilers, it just got very active at some point, and all the aforementioned aspects got emphasised and became more vivid.

But then it stalled for the last few episodes, with an occasional sparks of action or plot dynamics but overall dull and meaningless.

And then it ended - just like that, with just a vague promise of "more stuff ahead". Well, maybe a little less prosaic than that, but essentially it just kept adding questions and ended up with just piling up more of those on top.

Oh well.

Inside Job (2021–2022)

Not again...

[3/10 · 21 November 2022]

What on earth happened to the show?! First season was unpredictable and witty and sporadic and acidic and mean, and second is all flat garbage humor and bland dialogues? Such a letdown...

It's supposedly still the same characters and seemingly the direct follow-up to the first season, but it feels like completely different people trying to mimic the previous cast and failing spectacularly.

Granted, there still are some arguably smart gags here and there and there (mostly when nobody's talking), but it's such a far cry from the first season. I turned it off 1.5 episode through season 2 - not that is ridiculously bad, it's just regular bad, but I could not stop comparing it with what it was so that wasn't fun.

Black Adam (2022)

Bland nonsence

[2/10 · 21 November 2022]

To be frank, I can only speak about it from the first 15 minutes while I tried to watch it and then bailed - because it was so bland and dull and generic and nonsensical I wouldn't want to suffer it for the rest of the runtime. Maybe it gets better later on, but the initial story and acting and characters were so uninspiring that I wouldn't want to check out if it improves.

Part of the problem is certainly me - if I don't want to see the typical superhero blabber about magical mystical super stuff, I shouldn't do that - but the other part is it's being made and wrapped in an appealing trailers to disguise it as this-one-is-definitely-not-yet-another-generic-superhero-story...

Ugh.

Enola Holmes 2 (2022)

Quality Fun

[8/10 · 10 November 2022]

As a light-hearted take on the Sherlock Holmes story, it's doing great; quite a lot better than the 1st movie, which was OK but inconsistent, this one is great well-paced (and mostly consistent) fun.

Most of the actors are great, both lead and supporting roles - Millie Bobby Brown and Henry Cavill are having fun, evil David Thewlis is evil indeed, and Susan Wokoma/Helena Bonham Carter pair is solid.

It's a bit less fun towards the end though, and the main villain reveal is lacking - it somewhat makes sense plot-wise, but both complaints of the character and acting were out of place - just not on the scale of someone who supposedly played the main characters for the whole movie.

But it's a solid fun otherwise - smart, well made, well played and well deserving the viewer's attention.

Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

A story collection with vague overarching story arc

[8/10 · 29 October 2022]

As a collection of stories told to and by someone who collects said stories, it definitely is beautiful in all aspects - the stories themselves, the acting, the characters, the visuals. It looks beautiful and is very engaging as long as stories are being told.

As soon as that stops though, the film as a story itself begins to lose its direction and trails off into the proverbial horizon - the reasoning behind characters' decisions become uncertain, the outcome vague and the narrative lacking the drive and vividness of the first part.

It's still a beautiful (and beautifully told) story, well worth watching - but it felt like it was going somewhere and then it didn't, which left a sense of disappointment after it was over.