DasBobsWorld Reviews

Beyond Skyline (2017)

Beyond Mediocre...

[5/10 · 5 March 2019]

Well...I guess that was marginally better than the original.

Having watched the Skyline films only a few hours apart, I found that Beyond Skyline is the better movie. It fixes a lot of things I didn't like about the original. Like, how the credits were more exciting than the film. Also adding on to the original instead of ignoring it was a good choice IMO. But. There is always a but! Beyond Skyline is a mess itself. It plays out like the original Independence Day except if instead of the whole world fighting back it was just five people in Laos. They also do it by hand, because knives are always better than guns against angry aliens. The Frank Grillo-centric first half of this also reminded me of watching him in the Purge movie he was in, well except with aliens instead of weirdoes.

For me, where Beyond Skyline fails starts with trying to do too much. The film has two parts, the one that ties into the first film in LA which is a mess of scenes like the first film, also with footage from the first film. Then they appear in Laos and it becomes a mess of hand to hand fighting and arguing with no real purpose. Also, the unborn baby from the first film is a hybrid alien that has undefined powers. Again, like in the original most things are not fleshed out to a point where they make sense. The "using our brains" thing still baffles me. The aliens are apparently coming here every few thousand years to harvest brains but then they use the brains right away and we don't know why. I mean they power the machines that are used to harvest brains...it's kind of a useless system.

Anyways, Beyond Skyline would have been better if it was a hardcore sci-fi version of Three Men and a Baby as Iko Uwais, Frank Grillo, and Steve Guttenberg rescue a hybrid alien baby and must learn how to be dads during a war with alien brain hunters.

Skyline (2010)

Oh those end credits!

[4/10 · 5 March 2019]

Jumping back almost a decade now for this re-watch. I haven't seen Skyline since it came out back then but due to the somewhat sequel Beyond Skyline on my watchlist, I figured I'd give it another watch. It's still not all that good, and the worst part is I liked it better this time than before.

Skyline is about aliens using rave lights to ensnare humans so they can use/re-use our brains. See, I am not too sure what the purpose of human brains in this was. Sometimes the aliens would take them and rebuild their broken bodies. Again, not sure how. In fact, I am not sure how anyone in this version of Earth gets anything done, as this movie features a lot of scenes where the characters are stuck because of locked doors. Some of these doors, they even have keys for, they just forget how to use them. Honestly, with that display of brain power, it's not easy to see why the aliens want our brains. I did enjoy the alien design. For the most part, it's a mix of metal and creature, but after that Skyline offers very little in anything interesting. Except during the end credits. The still shots in the end credits should have been the beginning or at least the middle of Skyline. It makes for a way more interesting story than what we were given. I understand it may have been a budget thing, but honestly, even in 2010, if you don't have the budget for it, maybe you shouldn't be trying to make a big action sci-fi spectacle.

After almost a decade, Skyline is still not good. It has some interesting things in it, but nothing that makes it worth your time.

IO (2019)

Should I stay or Should I go

[4/10 · 5 March 2019]

Man, I love me some fictional science! I can convince myself to watch any sci-fi based movie and still have hopes that it'll be good. So, I was super intrigued by IO because sometimes I get in a mood where I want to watch slow burn, end of the earth kind of stuff. Watching humanity take that last grasp at the straw of life is fun! IO seemed to promise that. A promise that did not deliver.

IO is about a woman who was left on Earth with her father, who has since passed away, to try to single-handedly change the effects of global warming, and toxic air. The rest of the population barring a few others has left and lives on a space colony near IO around Jupiter. After a storm destroys her dad's bee experiment a stranger shows up and they must decide if they are to leave the world for the colony or be swallowed up by the toxicity.

When IO starts our heroine is taking dangerous trips into the toxic air to conduct experiments on the life she finds there. Mostly insects and things that seem to be adapting to the air. We then learn of her father's belief that man can adapt to live on the planet while healing it. I actually quite enjoy this part. The slow burn quiet desperation of a girl not only trying to make her father's dream a reality but also trying to save the world. It had some heft to it, and a movie about the next step in humankind needs that emotional heft. Of course, once Anthony Mackie shows up, it starts to lose that. Not because of the character himself, but because of the change in the direction of the film. He has his own reason for being there, but the movie then turns into awkward exchanges and an even more awkward romance. Also, it turns our smart, and capable heroine into a one-note, should I follow one boyfriend or the other character and that just kind of drains anything interesting out of the rest of the movie.

IO had potential, it really did. But, a boring script that seemed to lose its way and some weird choices by the main character, just leave it a mediocre watching experience.

Hardbodies (1984)

The 80's Beach Movie! Now with more Sleaze!

[5/10 · 5 March 2019]

The 80s is a genre unto itself at this point, spawning what seems like a million sub-genres in its ever-growing use of style and attitude which umbrellas over us today in homages and peoples memories. That doesn't mean those memories or homages are of specific films from the decade of decadence. Well, except when they are. Case in point, Hardbodies. At least for me.

It is hard not to think of the oversexed beach party boob wrangling movies from this era and ignore Hardbodies. I mean it has everything you think it should. Bikinis, Boobs, Butts, and a not so proper amount of sleaze. The main plot is about a beach bum kid who is being paid by three old guys to help them get laid with the women or "Hardbodies" on the beach. His teaching methods are just unsubtle ways to get more shots of girls in bikinis doing what they do. Sunbathing, washing cars, roller skating and so on. Still, all this time our beach bum hero Scotty Palmer just wants to be with his true love and whisk her away on a magic dream ride in his race car water bed that has realistic wave action. He wants to succeed. He manages a band named Diaper Rash, who is played by Vixen the all-girls Bon Jovi. He saves the beach from gross uncool guys and even teaches an old man the meaning of no means no. Maybe Hardbodies is something more than a bare chest tanning in the sunshine. Maybe it's a testament to a changing time, a more thoughtful and sensitive love story with gratuitous nudity...Nahhhh!

Hardbodies is a late night comedy with a lot of nudity and some questionable morals. Is it still kind of fun? Yeah. Still, whatever you think about it, it's a staple of a film type that really doesn't exist anymore, and maybe for the better.

Revenge (II) (2017)

Now that's how you use a beer can!

[6/10 · 5 March 2019]

You know it seems kind of weird to describe a film that can be mentally and physically gruesome as standard fare. I don't want to leave people with the impression that I feel like the horribleness that happens in this film are just a norm in life. I mean it is more standard fare for the Revenge horror subgenre. It's a solid film, with some standout moments, but doesn't standout itself.

Revenge is about a woman who is the mistress of a wealthy French man. They are on a weekend vacation at his middle of nowhere outback home. There's some sex, and gratuitous butt shots until the arrival of the wealthy man's friends. After one of them sexually assaults the main character, she is pushed off a cliff and impaled on a tree. The men then try to hunt her as she slowly takes her revenge in some gruesome ways. It works as it is supposed to and the main actress has very little dialogue but portrays what she is going through perfectly. The actors also do their job in being gross sleazy monsters just begging for comeuppance. Yet, in the context of the genre, everything seemed so blase. Although I admit, the glass in the foot scene had me cringing like I haven't for a while, so kudos for that.

Revenge is good. It's worth seeing if you like this kind of film. I just don't think it will stand out among the more known films in the revenge genre.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Yup...it's Awesome

[9/10 · 5 March 2019]

As always I am late to the party with bigger release movies. I usually get to them and then complain about how the hype affects my viewing and blah blah blah. Then I watched Spider-Verse and damn...The hype was real!

Music, color, story, tone, pacing...They all worked. A movie about a superhero I don't even really like, that's been origin storied to death and it is fantastic. Believe the hype! Of course, I may be the only person on the planet who hasn't seen this until now, and I'm sure the reviews all cover the amazingness of the film. Stand-outs for me include the main character Miles Morales. He is a breath of fresh air in the musty mist of Peter Parker origins. In fact, his story is light-hearted, dark, and engaging right from the beginning. Even with the distraction of other spider-peoples, I wanted to see more of him. I actually could have done with less spider-people to see more of him. I also enjoyed the use of color and music. Spider-Verse seems more like a tagged art piece than a regular marvel animated outing. Its splash of color is a really fun thing to behold in today's darker hero movies. I have very little to complain about...that's new to me.

So, Spider-Verse is the first movie in a long time to live up to the hype for me. If you haven't seen this, then you are missing out. Also just won the Oscar for best animated film, totally deserved. Watch This!

The Happytime Murders (2018)

Meet The Feebles...bad ripoff film.

[4/10 · 5 March 2019]

I can honestly say that I am surprised I didn't dislike this movie more. It's far from being a good film, but I didn't think it was as bad as it was hyped up to be.

If you take The Happytime Murders and remove the puppets it would just be a run of the mill late night comedy. I doubt we'd even be talking about it because it's kind of dull, and tame. Adding puppets into this tired story didn't really even make it better. I mean there is no bite to this. It feels like they decided to make a muppets movie but with some lewd jokes, and not actually that many. In fact, the lewdest stuff all had to do with bodily fluids, which is already a cliche of late night comedy. I thought that with Henson behind this they would have taken the time to satirize the muppets, and sesame street, all the things that were their bread and butter but seem to have fallen through the cracks in the new generation of TV and movies. Yet, I think that already exists with Meet The Feebles. They love making Muppet movies where they go on the road, why not make a Road Trip style comedy where four Puppets go on a drug-fueled sex crazed road trip. I mean it would have been better than this.

So, in the end, The Happytime Murders are not as bad as I thought but the remain tame and far from good. You're still better off skipping this one.

The Predator (2018)

Now with more dogs!

[4/10 · 24 February 2019]

Although I do enjoy the original film, the Predator franchise has never been a huge favorite of mine. It does have a lot of elements my wee brain enjoys as a franchise, and yet I have never really been able to attach myself to the handful of films that are under the Predator banner. The Predator is not going to help that either.

I am not sure about the backroom issues on this film, all I know is that it is a mess of characters, plots and a need too make it into a bankable franchise. The Predator is really all over the place, trying to move fast enough to outrun your ability to comprehend what's going on, lest you figure out its all a sham. See, a predator comes to Earth with a MacGuffin that he wants to give to the human race. Instead, he decides to murder any soldier he comes across instead of surrendering the thing and getting along with the people he is trying to save. When a second taller Predator shows up to wreak havoc the movie is over halfway done and I had stopped caring long ago. This movie needed to calm down. It needed to focus on one set of characters that could be built out and cared about. I mean there is like three villains, four ex-wives, one autistic child, a sniper team, an evil organization, two scientists, a set of crazy ex-soldiers, and the main character to introduce in the first thirty minutes alone. All this in an attempt to make this a franchise. Which also means having a bunch of loose ends for the sequel. Concentrate on making a solid first film then expand. Part one needs to stand on its own or there is no hope for your part two.

Anyways, I know that was more of a rant, but I was a bit annoyed that a movie about alien hunters from space with a good budget and director was so damn dull and such a mess. Unless you're a huge fan, skip this.

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

The Real Undercover Brother

[7/10 · 22 February 2019]

Sometimes I have no idea what to say about a film after watching it. Then after waiting until the next day, I can't figure it out either. My writing of this BlacKkKlansman review feels like that.

I did really like this film, I am honestly surprised there are not more films like this being made in the heat of today's racially charged climate. Yet, while watching this film, which shows glimpses of powerful imagery, camaraderie, and evil, I found myself a bit detached from the emotional weight of this movie. In fact, I will say other than that real-life footage at the end of the film BlacKkKlansman felt like a bit of a let down at parts. To be fair, this issue is probably on me. I was expecting a film that was going to give me that sick stomach feeling that I got watching that end of movie real footage. Yet, I didn't. I did not want to see race violence to the extreme but I had expected it with the subject matter of this movie. There are scenes that are generally frightening, though they are mixed in with a lot of light-hearted moments, and sometimes they just took me out of the experience.

Ugh, reading this back makes me feel like I am advocating for more violence, which I am not. I just felt like the emotional impact of this was lost a bit in the light-hearted moments. Also, Ron's white guy voice sounds like Eddie Giffin's white guy voice in Undercover Brother, which didn't help.

Other than the mixed emotions of the tone, I have nothing to complain about. The casting, the direction, the story itself all works and as I said before I enjoyed it for the most part. I just felt a bit underwhelmed at times. Still, this is an easy recommend. There is a lot too it, and hopefully, you will enjoy it more than I did.

The Limehouse Golem (2016)

Jack The Theater Goer!

[5/10 · 21 February 2019]

Watched this one on a whim, as I hadn't ever heard of it before. A solid cast and hopefulness for a killer golem helped me pick it. Yet, sadly no actual golem just a fancy name for a murderer.

I admit that this one was a bit better then I expected, but there was something missing from it that kept it from greatness. The casting was fine, and I did enjoy the time period of this. The Limehouse Golem is just too predictable to like. I feel like if you have seen any Jack the Ripper ripoff movie then you've experienced everything this has to offer. It doesn't help that the investigation only worked with the movie constantly dipping into flashbacks, even though you pretty much know who the killer is very early into the film. It makes the movie seem longer than it is, and wastes some solid performances.

I do wonder how The Limehouse Golem would have turned out if they had used a different structure for the film. Maybe the viewers knowing who the murderer is right from the get-go, but watching their dastardly plan play out through the wonderful theater performances that already existed in the film. Sure it stops being a mystery, but then the movie could have played up the more entertaining parts and made it all like a bizarre performance. I think that would have worked better for me. Same movie, just done chronologically sans flashbacks.

Still, this movie is worth a watch if you're into the time period and like a well-acted crime drama. Don't expect a mystery because this one is a bit too easily solved.

Mara (I) (2018)

Sleep Inducing Thriller

[3/10 · 21 February 2019]

Sometimes I feel that one of the greatest strengths of the horror genre is its ability to churn out countless horror films made by countless people who all love it. Yet, it can also feel like a very big weakness as well. A lot of those movies are most likely in the middle to the low-end of the quality pile. It's a hard genre to lock down as a lot of the time, they have ideas and themes that are so enticing but in honesty have a low percent of actually being part of a good film. This is what has been on my mind after watching a couple of unknown to me horrors on Netflix like Mara. Sadly, Mara is so bland and lifeless that there is very little to like about it, themes and all.

Mara is about Sleep Paralysis and how it is really an ancient demon coming to choke you to death after an indeterminate amount of time. A psychologist tries to stop it, but mostly just bumbles around the plot until the typical new age horror ending happens. I also feel like a broken record even typing this again. Mara, like a lot of dull horrors, nowadays is too long. Seriously. It seems to be an epidemic of horror thrillers that are incapable of telling their story in 90 minutes or less. Now that doesn't mean I don't like a good long, slow burn horror. But the story has to be there for it to work. Mara, like many before it, goes on way too long. The meat and potatoes of this movie are cleaned off the plate by the 70-minute mark, and we are left sitting at the table while Aunt Susan talks about her cats for another 38 minutes before mom and dad allow us to go to our rooms and play. I know this seems like a rant, but I am truly looking forward to the less is more era of horror I hope is coming.

Oh, yeah, the rest of my review. Quickly, Mara is dark, dingy and dull. Well not terribly acted, the cast has little to do but make choked faces as they die, or yell at each other about demons and sleeping. This is an easy pass from me. You are better off watching something else.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties (2017)

Aliens Up The Wazoo!

[4/10 · 21 February 2019]

Have you ever watched a movie that you have little to no stake in and yet still find disappointing? I mean a film that you were lightly interested in but couldn't really care less about if it was good or not until you watched it and found yourself getting bummed out that it wasn't better. That is my experience with How To Talk To Girls At Parties.

HTTTGAP is a sci-fi romance about an alien lady and a 70's punk who fall in love by accident and live a short and boring 48 hours together. He learns how to love, and she learns how to eat, poop, and what Nicole Kidman would look like in a David Bowie biopic. It just felt so pointless until the 65-minute mark, when they finally dealt with the giant house filled with aliens/cult people. Then the movie finally gets interesting but never goes deep enough or weird enough to really keep that interest level. Instead, the movie uses these apparently complex aliens with long untold backstories as a way to Macguffin everything the way it needs it to be. We only learn about any abilities or cultural choices when they serve the purpose of the story. They never feel like they existed or mattered in this world until they had a purpose. Like an anime character who manifests a power that has never been talked about in that show ever before just so they can win some previously unwinnable battle. So, I guess what I am saying is that HTTTGAP is the Goku of romance movies.

As I said, this was disappointing and no amount of angry punk Kidman made it better. I just really wish she threw a solid amount of headbutts in this film. An easy skip.

Hereditary (2018)

Here's To Family!

[7/10 · 19 February 2019]

Hereditary is an example of a movie you need to see during the hype train that existed at release. I feel like a movie that has been out for a while and is constantly getting praise leaves latecomers like myself in a bit of a wrong headspace going into a first watch. As it stands, Hereditary is a good film, with some interesting looks into family, and mental health wrapped neatly beneath a supernatural thriller. Did it melt my mind and slam me into the future of horror? No, but it was worth seeing.

I am sure that most people have gone over the plot and such of this film. Also, the performance of Toni Collette is pretty damn near perfect. So, no need to talk about that. For me, Hereditary fell into a trap that a lot of the newer age "horrors" do. Length. For some reason, it's very hard to tell a good thrilling story and keep it under 100 minutes, let alone 90. Watching long stares, seemingly unending scenes, as well as repetitive scenes which only seem to be running over ground we have already watched more than once are not really my jam. That being said, there are some amazing moments of shock, heartbreak, drama, and horror that can't be downplayed. Also, the death of Charlie came right out of left field and I found it refreshing to have a movie surprise me.

As for the ending, I didn't really mind it, although it felt like it belonged in another film. For most of the run time, Hereditary seems like a family drama of a very intense nature. The horror coming from seeing a group of people fall on hardship and hanging on by a thread just to keep what's left of their sanity. Having it end like a bit like Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones doesn't really help tell that story.

So, Hereditary is good. It is worth your time, even at its long length, and I do think it is deserving of most of the praise it is getting. But, I am also inclined to think that it might have effected a bit too much by the hype train. Still, an easy recommend.

Ghost Stories (I) (2017)

Solid and Spooky, but that ending...

[6/10 · 15 February 2019]

This was a bit of a weird throwaway watch for me. I mean that I watched it just to kill time before bed, and expected it to be bland and boring, with maybe a few good ideas. What I got was a mostly solid film that was kind of ruined by the ending.

Ghost Stories has a high-end anthology film feel to it. Three separate stories of spirits with a wraparound that follows a man who takes pleasure in debunking the unexplained. When challenged by the person who first got him interested in the ghostly phenomena, our lead character must investigate three unsolved apparition based mysteries to prove to his now very grumpy mentor that ghosts do not exist. Not the greatest plot, but it stands well above the other anthology wraparounds that exist now. It's nice to see something that doesn't consist of random storytellers in the form of old men and stage performers. This main story also helped me get into this film. I liked the beginning, and the first ghost story dragged me further into it. By the time it hit the third story I was super interested in how it was all going to play out. Then the movie decided to throw in a twist. A twist which almost ruined it all for me.

Not right away though, after it all started to unravel, I thought maybe the movie was going to get really dark and turn into a bit of a mind screw. That did not happen. I am not going to spoil the twist, but by the time the movie ended, I was very disappointed in it. I guess it is too harsh to say it ruined the film. Ghost Stories is still a pretty good watch, it just hurt because it was on its way to being a great watch.

So, Ghost Stories is worth your time. The best part is, if you don't dislike the ending then you will enjoy it more than I did. For now, I would say this is a one-watcher. Solid, but a bit too flawed.

Beyond the Gates (2016)

Beyond my Patience

[4/10 · 15 February 2019]

You know before watching Sequence Break I really had no idea who Chase Williamson was. Since then I have stumbled upon him in multiple movies that I watched on a whim. Well, them and Victor Crowley. I think he is becoming that one actor that I know of and don't mind, yet never really like any of his work. Case in point...Beyond The Gates.

I can get behind any movie that wants to horror homage to the type of board game that was really never very good. The VCR boardgame. So, having Beyond The Gates be a lost and evil VHS game had me intrigued. I was still intrigued as I met the characters, and watched them wander about droning out their dialogue. In fact, there was a point where Margot the lady character talks about being on Ambien, and I figured the whole cast was on it, considering the way they delivered their lines. Anyways, I was still intrigued. Then minutes turned into hours, hours to days, and finally, they played the board game. Sadly, by this point, I was pretty bored and no longer intrigued by the concept. I understand that they had a low budget, and it was maybe meant to be a slow burn, but everything that wasn't the game was so dull and monotonous. By the time it started to get interesting I was checked out.

The games parts are fun though, and they show some creative gore, mixed with some jump scares. Although they get up and wander away from the board game more then they do in Jumanji. Can't finish the game if you don't play. Oh wait, they're padding the run time. The generic ending is one of the worst parts. It makes the game they played have less impact as noting of note really happens. It just ends.

I don't know. I am still torn about recommending this one. I think I will because I tend to be grumpier when it comes to newer indie horror films, and Beyond The Gates has some good stuff in it. But, I personally found it a bit too dull to enjoy.

Action Point (2018)

People in Pain = Hilarious?

[3/10 · 13 February 2019]

I admit that I do enjoy a good throwback theme park style comedy. I also have admitted before I like a fun, goofy and over the top Late Night Style comedy. So, Action Point had a lot going for it, for a movie I had heard nothing, and knew nothing about. Mind you it failed on almost every level, so there is that...

Action Point is about Johnny Knoxville telling his granddaughter about how he used to own a theme park named Action Point. He tells her how her mom was involved when she was young, and a bunch of useless exposition about nothing. That's what this movie felt like. There is no lessons to be learned, no coming of age summer here. This movie is just about people being crazy and hurting themselves. If that is your thing, then you will probably enjoy this more then I did. As for me, at about the 32-minute mark I thought I had been watching it for a few hours and it was about to end. I was wrong, and it seemed like it would never end. When your highlights are "That one guy fell off something and got hurt" and "The one person got hit by a thing and got hurt" or the best "Something broke and a person was seriously injured" then your movie isn't all that interesting, nor funny. Well, in fairness I guess all those things worked for America's Funniest Home Videos.

Action Point, lacks any real humor, charm, or fun to it. If you feel like seeing strangers being physically injured though, this one isn't bad then. Personally, I say steer clear.

Titans (I) (2018–2023)

DC's Titans of Anger, Sadness, and Low Budget Effects!

[7/10 · 13 February 2019]

Finally remembering that I can write reviews for TV shows on here, I can get to my first. Titans! A show about the DC comic squad called the Teen Titans, but darker, edgier and a lot better then a thought. I think the show has a ton of promise, as Standout Episodes like Doom Patrol show off. My worry is that the Doom Patrol show will overshadow this one in every way.

The issues that hold me back from loving this show is the hardcore anger from Dick Grayson, that may be earned but it gets to the point where it's kind of funny. He hates everything, they hide it under the guise of not wanting to get attached, be hurt, and lose people. Yet, in the end it feels like he just likes to pout. He feels so one note and as the main character that makes him dull. Then there is the Darkness! I don't mean the amazingly fun and goofy rock band, I mean the actual lighting on the show to made it hard for me to see anything. There is a fight in the hotel hallway that I might as well watched audio only, as I couldn't see anything at all.

I did enjoy Beast Boy in this. Although I assume that budget was what kept him from being anything other than a tiger, and never having any action on screen when he was. But Gar did what he does best which is lighten the mood. Something this show needed a lot more.

I am looking forward to more of this show. I think it has a ton of potential, but they need to lighten up a bit, writing wise, and with actual lighting. As I said before it does worry me that my favorite episode was the one leading into the Doom Patrol TV series, and not one about the Titans themselves.

Rumble in the Bronx (1995)

I wish the mid-nineties looked like this!

[7/10 · 13 February 2019]

Rumble in The Bronx plays out a lot like a b-movie. If you take away the incredible stunts, chases, and fight scenes, you are left with parts of a film that are so bad they're good. I mean that in the best way possible.

The movie sports a very inclusive, and colorful biker gang, mixed with the rich white gangsters that consist of only very tall white guys with ponytails. Then awkward weirdly dubbed side characters (at least on the New Line dub) a lot of moments involving stealing a cushion from a boy in a wheelchair, bared assed bad guys, and numerous shots of Jackie Chan's man camel toe...maneltoe?Jackie Chaneltoe? I think I am putting too much thought into a name for it. I laughed out loud when Jackie goes to meet his new GF Nancy at the strip dance bar she works at, where she dances in her underwear, and how it plays out like nothing is any different then the time they rode a tandem bike with a wheelchair hook up for Danny the aforementioned boy in the wheelchair.

That being said, the fight scenes are still as good as you can imagine. They were the reason why this movie worked for North American audiences. The plot doesn't matter, the fights are amazing, and the hovercraft chase scene is too fun not to enjoy. It's easy to forget all the weirdness that encompasses the rest of the film, the flimsy plot, and the odd way everyone dresses...I mean I lived through the mid-nineties, it didn't look like that. I wish it did though.

Still, this movie is fun. After the re-watch, I have decided that Rumble in The Bronx is a fun mix of bad movie charm with insanely good action stunts, and fights. If that's up your alley and you haven't seen this, then you're in for a treat.

Shaolin Soccer (2001)

See How Kung Fu can Change Your Life!

[8/10 · 13 February 2019]

I have watched my fair share of Stephen Chow movies, but I will never forget the fun and joy that comes with the oddness and craziness of Shaolin Soccer. Fun, dumb, and easily rewatchable, it's hard not to enjoy yourself.

Following a down on his luck ex-soccer star who was paid off to lose a major match and then betrayed by the man who paid him. This man was Golden Leg, he even had it tattooed on his stomach. Now, as a lost and broken man, Golden Leg finds a new lot in life after meeting a homeless master of Kung fu whose specialty is The Steel Leg technique. Steel Leg has been trying to find a way to bring kung fu the masses in some appealing way. After, a few failed attempts at other kung fu ventures, Steel Leg and his other down on their luck kung fu masters try their luck at soccer coached by Golden Leg...I've written leg a lot today. Now, can the Shaolin soccer team dethrone the evil that is Team Evil, and win soccer and kung fu glory?

What you need to know about this movie is that it has a goofy style to it, like a lot, if not all of Stephen Chow's work. But there is also a sincerity to it that you can't help but support. Also while the overarching plot is not new to the sports genre or the martial arts genre either, this movie still seems like a breath of fresh air for both of them. Playing off the regular cliches and using them as joke points just to add to the exaggeration. When they finally get into the tournament itself, the physical sports comedy just escalates until finally against the unstoppable Team Evil, the movie plays out like an episode of Dragon Ball Z...well maybe multiple episodes of DBZ. Tai Chi and Kung Fu are used to create whirlwinds, fire dragons, and spectacular feats of crazy in a weird and fun wacky finale.

If you can't tell I do like this film a lot. I also do think that it may not be for everyone. If you are a bit more serious about your martial arts, and sports films, then you may not like this one as much. But still, it comes highly recommended by me.

Drunken Master II (1994)

Jackie Chan can kick my butt even when he's Drunk

[8/10 · 13 February 2019]

As busy as I have been with what some people call "reality" lately, I have still managed to watch a few films. They all star Jackie Chan in one way or another, so I guess I was on a Chan-a-Thon. Legend of Drunken Master is a movie I have seen more than a few times, and will most likely watch a lot more before I leave this mortal coil. A mix of jaw-dropping fight scenes, physical humor and awkward comedy make for one of the better martial arts films I have seen.

Chan plays a somewhat bumbling, but mostly badass fighter that knows the strange art of Drunken Boxing. A martial art that makes you more powerful the more you drink. Well, it has a stopping point where you are either an unstoppable warrior or an incurable drunk. The plot consists of Chinese artifacts being smuggled out of the country by the evilest of mustache-twirling English rich people. They treat their workers like crap, push around the local authorities and even throw their weight around in the surrounding town just to be jerks. That's not really a new plot for a martial arts film, but it works. Chan and team add in some light drama and comedy highlighted for me by the performance of Anita Mui as his Stepmom. She does physical comedy so well, and for me is a charm to watch.

Of course, the major highlights of action films are the fight scenes, and Legend of Drunken Master does not disappoint. Drunken boxing, which is on display for a large number of the fights, shows off something I had never seen before when I first watched it (I know it's a sequel). Yet, even the fights that don't display the drunken boxing are a treat, especially a fight against the ax gang, and in the factory at the end. watching this film makes it hard to argue that martial arts are not an art form. I know people don't really argue that, but still the way these fights are choreographed and the time, effort, skill, and danger that is involved make them all that more spectacular.

In my opinion, this is one of the better martial art films out there. Now I am no aficionado so take that at face value, but if asked to name some of my favorite martial arts movies or action films, The Legend of Drunken Master would be on that list.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

Mission Impossible Fallout of a Helicopter edition.

[8/10 · 7 February 2019]

Well, I have to say that you guys were not kidding. This is a fantastic action film. More than twenty years since the first of these six films had come out and it is still a surprise when a Mission Impossible film ends up this good. It really feels like we are living in a solid era for action franchises with the Raid, John Wick, MI and even the Fast and Furious for our b-movie action goodness. We live in exploding times!

Honestly, I don't think I have seen an action movie/spy game thriller that was this much fun in a while. Everything they did in this film was top notch. From the stunts to the chase sequence, to the amazing Helicopter chase...I mean damn. Also, if Cavill not being Superman anymore means we can see him as the beast he was in this movie, with an equally as beast mode a mustache, then I am all good with that. There are a few nitpicks, I thought that the movie dragged a bit between the middle and the end, I also had a few moments when I wasn't exactly convinced with Cruises acting, but nothing that really took me out of the film. Also while there was a spy story as always with this franchise, it still relies on the stunts and action to do the heavy lifting. Which isn't bad, when the action you have is this good.

MI: Fallout is very good. One of the better action films of the last while. Easily deserving of the praise it has gotten and making me wish I had seen it a lot sooner.

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

Worlds Greatest Grandma

[7/10 · 6 February 2019]

I have mentioned before that I expected the first Ant-Man to be a misstep in the then growing MCU. So, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it, and how well they kept the story away from the general MCU with an exception or two. So, although I didn't make my way to the theater for this one, I was kind of excited for it, when it hit the streaming services here. For the most part, it does a good job, and I can say it's a fun sequel that may be a bit less then it's original.

The cast is back, the characters are back, the things that made the first one good is back. The issues I have with this movie are more about villain and story. The first Ant-Man had a clear villain. He was evil, exploded sheep and would twirl a mustache if he had one. The Ghost was a bit more...meh. She had a tragic backstory that has been used a lot, and everything about her seemed a bit jumbled. This, in turn, leads the movie to bounce around a bit too much. Also, after the first tangle with them, the random weapon seller guys needed to go. They felt unimportant and added zero threat to the characters. It just felt like there were too many stories going on because of them. I mean it all ties together at the end, but I wouldn't day nicely. Still, everything I wanted to see in the movie was there, and it was nice to focus on Hope, and Hank for a large part, even though they are kind of a bit grumpy for my liking.

Overall, complaints aside, the movie is a fun film that doesn't overstay its welcome. I again liked how they barely linked into the MCU which doesn't fit the Ant-Man part all that well. Time to wait for Captain Marvel...

Fist Fight (2017)

Class of 2017

[3/10 · 4 February 2019]

There are times that you question how movies get made, or why they get made. I know Hollywood is its own beast but I mean Fist Fight? This movie has nothing in it. It has no purpose. It has to be some throwaway movie to fill a contractual obligation to someone or something. Because Fist Fight is just empty calories.

You know when a movie is not going to go well when you keep wondering when the Class of 1999 killer android teachers are going to show up and kill everyone. Five minutes into this movie I questioned how they could make 90 minutes out of Ice Cube wanting to fight Charlie Day. They did this by making a school that really belongs in the 1980's series of High School gang movies. With the crap these kids are pulling I really think you'd have teachers quitting instead of being fired. All that aside, as a comedy, none of this movie works. Nothing is funny, most things make little or no sense, and it has way too much of a mean spirit to really be enjoyable. I also think they were trying to make some sort of statement about how schools in America need more support, but I think that has been done better in more dramatic films. Honestly, It was probably done better in Bring it On! or Mean Girls then this.

Fist Fight is a nothing movie. It's the Paul Blart of high school comedies. Don't waste your time.

Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects (1989)

Old Man Bronson!

[5/10 · 4 February 2019]

When you go looking for b-movies away from the well-known ones, you never really know what you're going to get. Finding a late-era Cannon movie starring Charles Bronson as a geriatric cop who gets enraged over child prostitution in a dollar bin can go really well and be campy weird fun, or just be odd and offputting. In the case of Kinjite: Forbidden Secrets it's kind of both.

It doesn't take long for Kinjite to go from a sleazy strip scene to having Bronson torture a john by sodomizing him with the escort's dildo. Which leads to a quick to where he is washing his hands and telling his wife, that for some reason he is no longer hungry. Putting your hand up the rectum of a stranger to prove a point does that to you, Chuck. Then we cut to Japan where a group of businessmen are being taught English and how to behave with Westerners. Both of these stories feel like the main plot and they can get sleazy. Our main Japanese businessman watches a girl get sexually assaulted on a train, and wonders how to get in on the action. While Bronson chases down teenagers working for Duke the pimp. You know, it's actually kind of hard not to completely explain both plots from this movie to review it, the two stories weave in and out of the movie willy nilly and only meet when the man from Japan has his daughter kidnapped by the pimp. This also happens after he sexually assaults Bronson's daughter on a bus....wow.

This as just me trying to pull the movie ideas altogether. Kinjite justs seems so unfocused on telling its story, and more interested in sleazing around with half-naked "teens" and sexual assault. Kind of leaves you with a dirty feeling after dealing with some scenes. Sure, in the end, there are some explosions and more b-movie fun, but by that time you've seen some pretty gratuitous sleaze that really adds very little to the film.

Kinjite: Forbidden Secrets is too unfocused to really enjoy. It also has too high of a sleaze factor to really find anything all that fun. Unless you like feeling like you need a shower after watching what the writers thought was a hard-nosed crime drama.

Innerspace (1987)

Inside Martin Short - A Documentary

[6/10 · 2 February 2019]

Having seen this a long time ago, I completely forgot that it existed. So, refinding it on a 10 cent VHS tape, not in a surprising way, but more of an "Oh Yeah, this exists" kind of way, had me wanting to watch it again. Although through my weird memory I somehow forgot Martin Short was in this.

Innerspace is about a ride at Disney world, I mean a redo of Fantastic Voyage... wait, nope it's both! Dennis Quaid is a drunken fighter pilot who gets injected into Martin Short's spastic everyman body. Short must find a way to get Quaid and his little machine out of his insides before an evil group of evil scientists take him out....permanently! It's fun and goofy and way-way too long for this premise. Side plots with the buyer of stolen goods "The Cowboy" seem like filler and although Quaid and Short have great chemistry which lasts for the whole film, Short's spastic routine isn't really my cup of tea in this film. The Quaid Meg Ryan relationship was fine, but also seemed like it was added in just to pad out parts of the film. As I said, while entertaining, Innerspace adds up to a lot of running around, chase scenes, and Short dancing like his bones are breaking at the same time.

I still found it to be mostly entertaining though, and I would recommend it if you haven't seen it. But, the overall length and the side plots just kept it from being great.