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sean_payne
Reviews
Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)
I felt this with my soul
Wow, how this movie brought me to tears. I felt it in a place beyond my heart... my soul. It was really late right after I finished watching it and I immediately went to my kids, even though they are sleeping soundly, just to know they are still here and safe. The amount of grief Kate and David feel, I can only imagine. I'm an outsider here and I felt so crushed by everything. Movies like this show that you can't take anything for granted and love each moment you have with someone.
Shed (2019)
Not one
I tried with this one, actually tried, but there is not even one redeeming quality about the movie. The typical things a horror movie gets a pass for, were subpar at best (gore and nudity). The lighting was so bad, that even with the brightness on my phone turned all the way up, I couldn't see a majority of the movie (I do have a nice tan from it though). The music was garbage... not the hip 90's band, but literal garbage. The story made no sense, with absolutely no character development. Who were any of these people? Don't answer that, because I honestly don't care. The "actors" (I use that term extremely loosely) have no acting talent... whatsoever. Normally, I'm just pissed off after getting duped into watching these types of misleading dumpster movies (happens more often than not), but I honestly feel really bad after this one. This was someone's masterpiece, that they put their heart and soul into, but came out exactly like a flaming bag of poo left on an old grumpy man's porch.
Upgrade (2018)
Just AWESOME!!!
Guy is in the wrong place at the wrong time, guy gets computer chip implant, guy gets revenge like a ninja. That's the movie... except it's way cooler to watch it on the screen. I didn't see much as far as promotions for the movie, so I never even knew about Upgrade until it was out on blu-Ray, which is a shame. I would've loved to have seen this in the theaters. The writing on the film is pretty good, as well as the acting and cinematography. The action scenes are fantastic!! There is a bit of gore, but it really didn't bother me (I may be desensitized). Overall, I would highly recommend you check this out! I'm sure it's going to have a cult following one day
The Funhouse Massacre (2015)
Pleasantly surprised
I've watched a lot of bad movies... like A LOT (my review history can confirm... CHECK IT), but I didn't know what to expect when I streamed this gem. I can honestly say that I was surprised... in a good way. Cover art makes a big first impression and the art for The Funhouse Massacre really isn't all that impressive (a little cool, but that's about it), but don't let that deter you. Don't let the negative nancies deter you either (yes there is gore, yes there are some lack luster jokes). If you take the film for what it's worth, you'll spend an enjoyable hour and a half, and maybe come on IMDB and write a review yourself. Check this one out!
Graveyard Shift (1990)
Revisited recently... not as scary as it was in the 90's
I swear this was a different movie when I saw it in the early 90's. Sure I was younger, but i remember genuinely being scared to watch it (albeit I was afraid of Food of The Gods 2, which came out about the same time and had the same premise). It definitely doesn't have that scare value anymore. The acting is super cheesy (except Brad Dorif... I love him), the effects are cheesy, the story is beyond cheesy, it's just a big ball of cheese. That being said, it is still entertaining. There is nothing like watching someone get chewed up in a cotton machine or an arm get bit off, to have some fun with a movie. That sounded a little demented... actually, quite a bit, but still I would recommend checking out the Graveyard Shift, just to at least say you watched it.
Blood Demon Rising (2017)
Why do I do this to myself?
I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me. I keep subjecting myself to almost unwatchable trash and expect it to get better. I knew this one was going to be a mess, just from the cover art and opening credits, but I still decided to keep going. I was hoping to find some light at the end of the tunnel and unfortunately, I did... in the form of a train. I'm giving Blood Demon Rising 1 star for production value, acting, writing, and direction (actually I should give those items a negative 1 for making me laugh while my wife is trying to sleep and I woke her up, but I'll just leave it). The only other reason I gave this a second star was for the gratuitous amounts of nudity. Watch the opening credits, if you get that gut feeling to turn this off, I suggest you do it... it won't get any better, especially when you see a lady chop a baby with a sword like she's Conan the Barbarian.
TerrorVision (1986)
Cheese-O-Rama
Look... just watch it. There are few words that can really describe how awesome this movie is. A young Uncle Rico (Napoleon Dynamite) has a small role, so you know it's going to be legit.
Believe it or not, I was terrified of this when it first came out. Something about the monster's mouth just freaked me out.
Truth or Dare (2017)
Truth... don't waste your time
The only good thing about Truth Or Dare (2017) were the few gore scenes, otherwise this movie was just awful. I applaud the actors for trying (the script was terrible), but there were a few of them that just made me just fast forward through the movie because they were horrible (I'm looking at you Jessie). Like just about everyone else on the reviews said, the ending was the worst. It was like they just completely ran out of ideas and just stopped the movie.
Drive (2011)
Love this one
Is it a action flick, drama, or a love story? I'm still confused on that. Either or, this movie is great!
Dark, Deadly & Dreadful (2018)
Not as good as reviews suggest
Honestly, I was expecting very little from Dark, Deadly & Dreadful and sadly my expectations were not met. The film quality and set designs are the only real redeeming qualities of the film, but that's about it. Almost every story makes no sense (I still have no idea what anything meant in The Listing short), there are quite a bit of fodder scenes, and the acting is okay (just okay). Don't trust what the other reviewers are posting, because honestly, they were probably paid to write that. Do yourself a favor and give this one a pass.