amadeuseisenberg Reviews

Shadow Warrior 3 (2022 Video Game)

Shadow Warrior or just another Doom 2016/Eternal wannabe???

[5/10 · 5 March 2024]

Yet another shooter ruined by the desire to be an obvious Doom 2016 wannabe. It's like this is all we get nowadays. Either something that tries to be Call of Duty or something that tries to be Doom 2016. And I find both to be overrated pieces of crap. The modern Doom games have this tedious and repetitive arena-style combat and heavy emphasis on melee attacks. Which is featured heavily in this game as well. At least it doesn't have the forced melee finishers but the game still relies heavily on melee attacks.

And ever notice how Lo Wang's design got progressively worse with every game after the 90s original? This is the worst one yet.

The Division 2 (2019 Video Game)

Really dull

[1/10 · 4 March 2023]

Just walk around a huge open world and shoot people with generic and unsatisfying gunplay. The game is also supposed to be one of these "looter shooters". A thing I find very overrated and boring in today's games, so that doesn't help this game for me either. The only games that make finding stuff actually fun are games like Fallout and Elder Scrolls. The only good thing about this game for me is the ability to skip cutscenes. I couldn't care less about the story in these modern games that try to depict an overly realistic storyline and are filled with forgettable and boring-looking characters. So at least the game lets you focus on the gameplay and forget about everything else. I just like my games with fun and unique gameplay...and badass storylines with iconic-looking characters. But I doubt you can expect that from mentally impaired developers who even seem to think that gender is simply a body type.

Dead Space (2008 Video Game)

Same thing, different franchise

[7/10 · 19 October 2022]

I'm not the most interested person in the whole story or universe but it's a pretty good game to play. I mean, it's, what I personally like to call these types of games, yet another highly modified Quake 2, where some big bad alien race seeks to simply kill and consume everything in the universe. Numerous other games have done this. The aforementioned Quake 2(and 4), and then also franchises like Mass Effect, Resistance and the list goes on. Gaming's favorite sci-fi tale and this is yet another version of it.

However, the whole situation in the game is still interesting to follow. The sense of desperation, and the atmosphere it creates, is well done. The gameplay is mostly great too. It feels challenging enough to be fun, but it doesn't become trial and error most of the time. And most importantly, you make steady progress. While never feeling like the game is too easy. And you could play this game for hours without getting tired if it.

The game isn't perfect, though. Later on, the game can become pretty stressful. You may forget to enjoy the game. In fact, the last chapters drain out most of the enjoyment and absolutely stress me out. I kept wondering why I wasn't enjoying the game as much as I did earlier. Early in the game, I was excited to meet enemies and blow them apart. And, like I said, I never felt like it was too easy. But late in the game, I always felt negative and stressed out when I heard the music and sounds of enemies approaching. The whole experience gets turned on its head. There are a few stupid moments too, like the game locking you into small places with lots of enemies and no breathing room. It's a shame that you can't change the difficulty anytime in the game, like in Dead Space 2. It's good for when you want to say "**** it" and just relieve some stress. One-shotting and ragdolling enemies on easy difficulty in Dead Space 2 is rather funny and satisfying. Helps you stay balanced and remain feeling positive about the game. I swear the last parts of the game are even worse in Dead Space 2. I haven't been able to finish 2 without lowering the difficulty. I always pick hard difficulty for these games. And in this game, you better pick hard because you can't increase the difficulty for new game plus, which is lame.

One more little thing is the elevator glitches that happen sometimes. You simply die a few moments after an elevator starts moving. Or you can clip through the floor and then die.

Survival Game (1987)

Fun little 80s adventure

[8/10 · 18 October 2022]

When you have a man and a woman running together from one or more different groups of people or doing something else together in a movie with comedic elements, it always makes for a fun movie for some reason, especially if it's from the 80s or 90s. It's a very likeable movie to watch. This is another one of these movies that doesn't deserve a 3/10 on IMDb because there are some really awful and low quality movies with a rating of 3/10 and this is far ahead of those, so it should obviously have a higher rating. It's a proper movie that's competently produced and is highly watchable, unlike many other movies wth the same rating.

Kill Fee (1992)

Watchable but undoes a great twist

[6/10 · 16 October 2022]

A bit of an average thriller. What suddenly ramps up the movie to pretty good is Thomas Ian Griffith's character, who turns out to be a bad guy. Someone who has murdered people. For evil and dirty reasons. He's even shown brutally killing the female lead, which really spices up the movie for a few minutes. But then it all turns out to be bullcrap and the movie descends back to mediocrity like a broken balloon losing all its air. The female lead isn't all that interesting or likeable either. Which made me root for Thomas Ian Griffith's character even more. And the sudden bloody twist would have done the movie a lot of good had it not reverted right back. It was dramatic and rather unexpected. I was slightly impressed with the dark turn the movie took but didn't completely trust what I was shown. Then the movie quickly showed that my mistrust was well placed.

Silent Assassins (1988)

Entertaining flick

[7/10 · 6 October 2022]

Decent action flick, albeit a bit silly and could have used a higher budget. The trailer did its job and got me into it. Poster/cover art is bizarre as hell, though. Instead of the 1 white guy and 2 asian guys trio, there's the white guy and, for some reason, his girlfriend. I don't understand why they dressed her up like that and put her on the cover. There is no such character in the movie. She is just a little love interest and never looks like that in the movie. Not to mention she isn't in any major action scenes. Sam Jones and his two asian buddies score an excellent body count, but she literally fires only one shot in the whole movie, so she goes on the cover, haha. Also, Sam Jones burns through so much bubble gum in the movie that Roddy Piper had none left.

Half-Life (1998 Video Game)

A high quality experience

[8/10 · 26 September 2022]

What time can never take away from this game is how good it is. Simply a very good game to play forever. And the fact that, after over 20 years, it's still better than most modern games. Especially with the standards continuing to only go down. This is also a very long game and the amount of different environments and situations it manages to bring one after another without losing any momentum is also impressive and completely unparalleled by today's games. And you never leave your character's point of view, it's mostly like a long adventure from point A to point B with nothing that would really break up the experience, which is an underused way of making a game. It makes an adventure so memorable and you'll often think back about the earlier moments and how you ended up where you are now. This experience was even better in the sequel with a larger variety of environments and even more distance traveled.

I'd give it a perfect rating but I have to remove some because of the absolutely terrible Xen part of the game. I find it quite disastrous and easily the worst part of the game. Take me back to Black Mesa, please. Such a contrast to the excellent Black Mesa part.

Midnight Ride (1990)

Truly a Midnight Ride

[9/10 · 24 August 2022]

This movie takes you on a truly entertaining ride that takes place completely at night. The main characters in this movie miss a whole night's sleep as they go through what will forever be a seriously awesome story to tell everyone. Mark Hamill racks up an impressive body count as he goes on a midnight rampage while dragging Michael Dudikoff's wife along. On the other hand, the creators decided to mess up Michael Dudikoff before the movie even starts and give him an injured leg for some reason. So we have a hero that limps his way through the movie right from the start...

Anyway, this is a great watch that brings the thrills. Mark Hamill is an awesome psycho and death fills the excellent nighttime atmosphere in this fun thriller.

Mach 2 (2000)

Glad I watched it

[9/10 · 16 August 2022]

A likeable little thriller that didn't disappoint. I found it to be surprisingly gripping and enjoyable. It's absolutely worth a watch if you're looking for an entertaining flick that does bring the thrills. The plot also shows how corrupt and messed up the US government is and I honestly haven't seen a flick so accurate about the US government in a long time. People here seem to have a rather bizarre anger towards this movie. I've seen other movies comparable to this one and the opinions on those are always more varied and fair. I'm glad I stopped taking IMDb reviews seriously a long time ago. Hell, there are movies here with IMDb ratings that literally double Mach 2's current 3.3/10 that worse than this movie.

Epicenter (2000)

An ex-pornstar and a martial artist team up

[8/10 · 26 July 2022]

After being disappointed with the last Gary Daniels movie that I watched, Recoil, I was really impressed with this. It's really solid and likeable entertainment. I've seen people say how this movie kept them watching and they couldn't help but be entertained. Well, it's absolutely true. There's also no focus on martial arts here and it's more about story and acting. Although the action is still excellent. And I find Gary Daniels good to watch with or without the kicks. Gary and Traci actually make a pretty nice duo too in this movie. This is probably one of my favorite Gary Daniels movies now.

The Exterminator (1980)

Pretty interesting movie

[9/10 · 2 July 2022]

I like how insensitive the movie is and how it doesn't shy away from anything. These days, a person just starts craving entertainment that has balls. I also like how calm and detailed some scenes are. Like when the main character fills bullets with mercury.

Quite excellent classic moviemaking here. I found out there's a sequel and this definitely made me want to see the sequel too.

Rogue Warrior (2009 Video Game)

Nice little shooter

[10/10 · 13 June 2022]

The great thing about this game is that it really makes you feel like a badass. It feels like a good action movie and the one man army left to finish the mission setting is great. The addition of Mickey Rourke voicing the main character is great too and the music is good throughout the game. I don't really know what makes this game bad, like it's usually considered. The gameplay is solid and there's nothing else to really complain about either.

The River King (2005)

A decent murder mystery type movie that ends on a BULL**** note

[2/10 · 27 February 2022]

It's a quiet little investigation movie with a very calm atmosphere. Nothing special. Decent enough watch, but the ending is unsatisfying and unfulfilling. Make no mistake, there is murder involved in this movie. And it's the murder of truth. Even the main character himself decides to lie in the end, after spending the whole movie looking for the truth, which was the biggest point of the movie. It was a harsh truth in the end, but one that deserved to see the light. And because of his lie, a person will likely live the rest of her life completely fooled and not knowing what really happened. It's a terrible way to end a movie.

Ghost Recon: Breakpoint (2019 Video Game)

Just a terrible, disappointing turn-off

[1/10 · 25 February 2022]

It's way more complicated and way less likeable than Wildlands. Not much is improved and many things have only gotten worse. The world is yet another modern video game open world that's lazy, worthless and detrimental to the game. Basically another open world game that would instantly benefit from being more linear instead, like in the old days. Also, no offline play.

Character creation is also worse. And every woman is intentionally fugly. And I mean intentionally, which is just wrong to do. It's a rather common problem in many western games today. Wildlands had some decent options to creare an actual female character, comparable to the good old Rainbow Six Vegas games. Now, there isn't a single decent-looking female face anymore. And some of the "female" faces are literally men. Even real life has more feminine-looking women in the army. It's gotten to the point where men genuinely look better than women. If you cannot create a proper female character anymore, what is the point of giving the option? Well, for some reason, you can give your soldier blue hair now, so that says a thing or two about the silly bunch behind this one.

SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs (2002 Video Game)

Pretty average and generic military game

[5/10 · 24 January 2022]

I remember TV ads of this back in the early 2000s. Everyone was in their homes with their little headsets on and taking the game very seriously. Back when playing online and communicating with voice wasn't all that common. 20 years later I finally tried it. Every aspect of the game is generic. The story, the gameplay, the music, etc. It's pretty easy too and the game constantly pounds you with tutorial messages about all kinds of sophisticated stealth and squad usage features, but you can just tell everyone to follow, fire at will and run through the missions. Needless to say, you wouldn't need to waste your time with any of the gimmicks this game advertised so intensely. And the voice actress giving you mission briefings and communicating with you during missions almost sounds like one of those voice engines, where you have an emotionless voice say things that you type in.

Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)

It's a time travel movie. Fun stuff

[5/10 · 22 January 2022]

Another fun time travel movie. I just wish the main character wouldn't have been such a wuss and would have gotten over the fact that everyone has guns and is killing each other. And we never actually got to see when he finds out that he went back in time. It is clearly implied that he found out later, but hell, the movie even ended before he got back to his own time. However, time travel movies are bound to entertain and this one is no different.

Excessive Force (1993)

Really enjoyable movie

[9/10 · 17 January 2022]

And a great introduction to an underrated martial arts star. If you've just discovered Thomas Ian Griffith, then this is a great movie for a first impression. I found the movie likeable and it kept me very interested. There's definitely a good plot here that makes for a good watch.

Tripwire (1989)

Surprisingly likeable and interesting movie

[8/10 · 13 January 2022]

The main character kills a terrorist's son. Then, as revenge, his son and the mother get taken. What follows is a plot that is actually quite interesting and entertaining.

Action scenes are also quite well done and the gunfights are surprisingly satisfying and really clicked with me. Besides, nothing like seeing a man walk into a building with a SPAS12 in broad daylight in a highly populated area. I imagine the people in charge of the action scenes could make a really solid action movie if given a good budget. The action here is about as good as the trailer will lead you to think.

Anyway, you might think movies like this are bottom of the barrel titles, but the thing is, this type of pile also contains lots of diamonds in the rough. I have been surprised more than once. Huge, heavily promoted movies can also be absolute disasters and, on the other hand, smaller movies like this can be hidden gems. It's still a matter of opinion and you have to have some taste, but this is without a doubt an entertaining watch. There are way worse movies than this out there, that's for sure. Hell, we just crawled away from what is potentially the worst decade in film history, the 2010s, but bringing in that as an example would be too easy and it's just unnecessary.

Jungleground (1995)

Decently entertaining action movie

[6/10 · 4 January 2022]

Visually, the movie is great and pretty likeable, with good atmosphere and the baddies all look like metalheads, which always makes for fun characters. The pretty boy villain, however, is a really weak villain sadly and one of the bad guys teams up with Roddy Piper in the end just because his stupid little brother got himself killed and it was nobody's fault really. The movie itself is all slightly above average stuff mostly, but the pure action with zero CGI is really worth appreciating too. It will keep you entertained.

The Stranger (1995 Video)

What a shame

[1/10 · 3 January 2022]

Didn't know there was so much feminist cringe in the 90s, heh. They really abused the straight-to-video scene with bitter garbage like this. It is sad, as straight-to-video should be used as a haven for hidden gems, not as everyone's dumping ground for their own little twisted ideas. At least not too much money and resources were wasted, which I'm glad for. Rather use that for something that improves the world, instead of spreading feminist bitterness 🙂

Army of Two: The 40th Day (2010 Video Game)

Good game, good series

[9/10 · 18 December 2021]

First thing to do is to ignore all the absolutely failed critic reviews for this game. Well, critic reviews should always be ignored obviously and you should always make up your own mind. Critics are worthless. Anyway, this is a badass and satisfying series of games to play. The whole trilogy is some really great gaming. Sadly, the story, and any character aside from the duo that forms this Army of Two, is instantly worthless, but the gameplay and flow of the game will do enough to draw you in. Nothing memorable to walk away with, other than how satisfying the gameplay may get frequently.

This is usually considered a co-op game, but playing alone is great. Partner AI is a beast if you use him right and sometimes scores even more kills than you do by the end of a chapter. I just tell him to advance and draw aggro for 99% of the game. Then I just keep up and cover his assault. Some pretty satisfying moments of teamwork frequently. With an AI partner! Telling him to take point also makes sure that you always know where to go and what to do. The enemies are fun too and have this great design that should be in more games. Enemies with helmets can survive headshots and their helmets fly off. And wounded enemies can crawl and still shoot back when downed.

I recommend buying the whole trilogy. This is a great series to own on one console!

Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening (2005 Video Game)

Another treat from the Golden Age of gaming

[10/10 · 2 December 2021]

This game was highly inspiring for me as a teen. I'm not big into hack 'n' slash games, but Dynasty/Samurai/Orochi/etc. Warriors and Devil May Cry games have always stuck with me ever since I first tried them. I consider them quite unique in the hack 'n' slash genre. The cutscenes in this game are also a delight. Now I'm the kind of person who has no problem with cutscenes and watches them every playthrough for a more complete experience, but this is the kind of game that makes cutscenes really a great thing. Another game with fantastic rewatchable cutscenes off the top of my head is Saints Row 2, which is a great comparison.

A decent story and some pretty good characters too. The best character of course being Dante himself, stealing the show every moment of the game. The worst character, however, is the female character Lady/Mary. Her constantly sticking her gun in Dante's face gets annoying and she also has the kind of grumpy personality no man would want to put up with, heh. I know she's supposed to have a burning stick up her ass, but it's executed in an annoying way. She does finally decide to ditch her tryhard tough girl routine and fold near the end of the game, which adds some redeeming femininity and cuteness, but it's too little too late.

This game is also very approachable. There are difficulty levels for everyone. And the automatic mode is a real treat, letting you have fun without having to make the button mashing complicated. If you're not into hack 'n' slash but are interested in this game, don't be afraid to give it a shot! You may just like this one. And hell, if not the gameplay, then the overall presentation, atmosphere and story might keep you coming back! Although the gameplay is really fun and the unlocks are sweet! Anyone remember how fun and satisfying unlocking things was?

Tomb Raider (1996 Video Game)

Not the first Tomb Raider game I've played, but the first one I've finished

[3/10 · 14 November 2021]

Still unique to this day! There's just nothing else like the PS1 Tomb Raiders out there. The mysterious feel and atmosphere of the original Tomb Raiders hasn't been replicated to this day. Can't say the same for the 2010s reboot games, which were already unoriginal and generic the day they came out. Not games you want to go back to again and again either, unlike these original Tomb Raiders.

Anyway, here are a few personal observations that I found funny:

1. The animations in the game are strange and funny sometimes. When you have to place lead bars onto the hand of Midas to turn them into gold, it looks like Lara sneezes them onto the hand, accompanied by a very feminine sound effect.

2. Throughout the game you'll be attacked by a man that will disappear when you've damaged him enough every time. He runs behind the nearest corner and disappears in a way that doesn't make any sense. It's like as soon as he leaves your sight, he despawns. If you keep chasing him, he will keep looking for ways to leave your line of sight, which is funny.

3. I also find it weird how the different animals attacking you don't attack each other, as they would in real life. Instead, they work together to hunt down Lara and EVEN team up with human enemies!

Sadly, I have to give this game a low rating, because while I do want to have all the PS1 Tomb Raider games in my collection and finish them all, I didn't really enjoy my time with this one. I started out throroughly enjoying this game, but by the end, the enjoyment had turned into an absolute chore. It gets quite awful by the end. If you have played this...don't you agree? I expect to enjoy the next ones more and give them a higher rating, especially with the ability to save anywhere I want, which should help. Plus I've always liked The Last Revelation and Chronicles more.

Anyone, who tends to get frustrated easily, please steer clear of this game. Make no mistake, this is one of the most frustrating games ever made. There's a chance you will hate this game by the time you're done with it. And if you're a Zoomer with a short attention span, don't even bother reading this review about this game, which you just finished reading. Then proceed to throw yourself into the nearest spike pit you can find locally.

Thanks for reading.

May the butler lock Lara in the freezer. Classic Lara must be preserved.

Soldier of Fortune II: Double Helix (2002 Video Game)

Bottom of the bargain bin title

[3/10 · 18 August 2021]

It's a pretty garbage game, like all the Soldier of Fortune games, but at least it's a little better than Payback. It's about as generic as its cover art and most aspects of the game plain suck.

Headhunter: Redemption (2004 Video Game)

Flawed gameplay that can deliver some enjoyment, but rest is bad

[3/10 · 25 July 2021]

I prefer this one over the first game. I was utterly bored with the first game. But I ended up getting into this one and getting decent enjoyment out of it. And I like how smooth and steady the progress is in this game. Nothing is too hard, nor too easy. And everything feels quite fair. You're constantly making steady progress and don't really get stuck much. I also like the amount of puzzles in this game. Some of them give your brain some good work.

However, the gameplay is the only decent thing in this game. Most every other aspect sucks. Especially the characters. Everyone is just plain bad. The worst of them being Leeza X, the female main character. She's the tryhard cool gal with constant mediocre attempts at being witty. And I'm guessing that they were trying to make her the new main character? And another game in the series would have been with her? Well, you can see how that went.

I have also come to dislike the idea of boss fights most of the time. They are not necessary and games can be great without them. Sometimes they're ok, when they're worked into the game and story very naturally. But other times, they can really bring down an otherwise smooth experience. And the boss fights in this game go into the latter category. One of the boss fights actually made me have to stop playing. I knew I would have busted my ass for a pretty long time trying to beat it. And I just wasn't interested. I've actually had to stop playing quite a few games because of a boss fight. I'm tired of the level of stress they provide. It's not worth it. And they often turn an otherwise smooth experience on its head. That's unacceptable. They shouldn't contrast with the rest of the experience so severely.

While I did get some enjoyment out of the game, I still have to give it a below average rating, because something I didn't like made me have to stop playing and I do consider the thing in question a genuine flaw.