battlecrusadersgames Reviews

Mirage (2018)

Mind Blowing

[9/10 · 22 May 2024]

So often Netflix movies don't impress me, but this one was simply mindblowing. I wasn't even sure whether to watch it or not as i am not normally a fan of Drama's, but as it seemed to have a sci-fi element to it i gave it a go and i am so pleased i did, as it's far more than either of those genre's can adequatly.

I loved everything in this movie, the Score, the Cinematagoraphy, the incredible acting, especially from the lead, the screenplay + even the script.

This isn't just a typical time-travel movie, more of a contact across time + it is all the better for it, it is just so well written.

One of the best movies i have seen in a long time.

Arcadian (2024)

Very disappointing

[4/10 · 17 May 2024]

I was very disappointed with this movie as it stars Nic Cage who's movies i usually love + 2 of my favourite young actors in Jaeden Martell + Maxwell Jenkins, but unfortunately their talents are wasted with a dreadful screenplay. Firstly nothing is explained, the characters are just there fighting monsters for pretty much the whole movie. Also this was billed as an action horror, which concerned me as im not usually a horror fan, however i didn't need to be worried as it is neither scary not action packed, in fact, there is no scares at all in the first 45 mins meaning horror fans will unlikely find anything in this to like + as for the action, i think this is one of the most boring action films i have ever seen, it is just so slow. I get that films often start slow to build tension + explore characters, but in this, that happens for most of the film, it's like the entire film is the setup for a bigger movie. The last 10 mins thankfully saves it from being even lower rating from me.

I hope both Jenkins + Martell get a big lead role + something that they can be remembered for soon as they deserve it, as for cage, i think he needs to stop accepting such dud screenplays.

Take Shelter (2011)

Over-rated

[4/10 · 18 January 2024]

This is an older movie but i wanted to give an honest review for those who as yet haven't see it and i want to start by making 2 things clear.

1. This movie is mis-catergorized, it is not a horror. It is a drama and so boring i kept screaming in my head "something happen already." 45 mins in, it already felt like it had been on 6 hours. If that's your thing then great.

2. This movie is way too over-rated. It is not that great. I can't see what people liked it it at all. It isn't thought provoking, it isn't mysterious and the acting is sub par. In fact. The lead actor is so uncharismatic that i compare him to a turd. He's the sort of person i try to avoid at parties as they suck all the fun out of it.

They also missed the boat when it comes to lucid dreaming, instead they went down the more illogical route of mental illness, which while it is a topic we need to address more, this is more false information that tbh we could do without.

On the other hand, at least it's not a ludicrous plot and there isn't a ton of exposition.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Garbage

[1/10 · 29 December 2023]

I have no words for how bad this is and i am stunned anyone actually enjoyed this tripe.

The story, for what there is of it, is about the 'real' Santa getting stuck in Chicago with a couple of irritating brats, that frankly deserve coal.

The acting is atrocious, accept for Kurt Russell, who sadly can't save this.

The worst part of it though, is how no-one reacts how people should act. The teen lad starts as a tearaway but immediately changes to a soppy Santa believer and the rest of the cast aren't much better. There's also no magic for most part, instead we get a syrupy cringe-fest that makes me want to vomit.

My advice, ignore the fake overrating high reviews and give this a miss, unless you are under 5 years old, in which case, maybe you want want that 100 mins of your life back like i do.

Enemy (2013)

What did i just watch

[3/10 · 27 November 2023]

How can so many people be wrong, well this movie is proof they can.

The plot, for what it is, concerns a man who discovers a doppelganger and after they meet they both start doing nonsensical things and the story's wheels come completely off.

Clearly the Director was going for more style than substance but the plot plods along so slow and never reaches any excitement. Sure there is a little mystery here, but that mystery is never resolved, which makes it even more frustrating and pointless. And that ending, what the F did i just watch. Quite possibly the worst ending to any movie i've ever seen. Some people have said this is just complex, i however didn't find it complex at all, instead just lacking a decent writer. I'm not surprised at all that this has the same Director as Prisoners, because that Movie is Directed horribly too.

Unfortunately Jake Gyllanhaal, who has given some good turns before, in movie such as 'Life' and 'Brokeback Mountain', here is about as charismatic as a cauliflower and as wooden as a tree.

I really tried to like this, as i love many mystery films, but there's just no reward for sitting through such a slow movie with no proper conclusion.

Circle (II) (2015)

Great concept, terrible execution (not a pun)

[4/10 · 21 August 2023]

The premise of this movie is a group of strangers wind up in a circle and soon begin to realise they are being killed off. The story develops well and is great as a concept. I love the idea of poking into morality, equality, Human judgements and empathy, sadly it was ruined by such a terrible execution.

The acting on the whole was sub par, at times dreadful, there was no jeopardy, no surprises, and no pace. It was rushed so much at the start; as if people would just accept what was happening right away, what are these people, robots?

Worse was the script, whoever wrote it should be fired.

The ending was also horrendous, leaving is with no satisfaction having endured such a bad movie.

This could have been such a great movie, such as the Cube or Exam, sadly with the sloppy script and screenplay, instead it was a demonstration on how not to make a movie.

Iké Boys (2021)

can i have my 10 mins back please

[1/10 · 12 August 2023]

I will make this clear. I only watched 10 mins of this train wreck. Right from the off, the characters are so annoying and the acting so awful i literally couldn't take anymore. Honestly. I think it has the worst acting i have ever seen. We have character stereotypes, religious garbage mumbo jumbo and script writing like it was done by a 9 year old. Honestly, i don't know what else to say to make this the character minimum, other than please, unless you are an addict of the genre, do not waste even 1 minute of your life on this, you'll never get it back. Maybe it gets better as it progresses, but the acting made me want to vomit, so honestly, i don't care.

Cube (2021)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 11 August 2023]

I'm a bit puzzled why this is so low rated. I can only conclude people are mostly racist, because i found this every bit as enjoyable as the original. Yes, this is a remake of the cult hit, but although the story is very much the same, the execution is very different, (no pun intended).

For those of you who may not have seen the original and don't know the plot already, it is about a group of strangers that wake up in a maze of rooms filled with various fatal traps. If you have seen the original, i would advise not comparing them. Here's why... The original was a gory, unique story with lots of mystery and surprise. This has less mystery, but just as much suspense and a lot better character focus, which i liked.

Oh and for those saying the acting was poor, i think they were drunk, because the acting was fantastic in places IMO.

So although nothing ground breaking, still an enjoyable time that if it weren't for the original and the myriad of escape room type movies since, i think this would have been a lot better received.

A last thought, of you do watch it, make sure to stick around for the mid credits scene, it adds a nice twist the first film didn't have.

Hijack (2023)

Fantastic

[9/10 · 3 August 2023]

There's been so many Aeroplane hostage movies in the past, i had quite low expectations for this, especially as a Tv series not a movie, but i was wrong, this was by far the best example of this genre i have ever seen and worked so well as a series, with the cliff-hangers at every opportunity, which kept me excited and eager to see each and every episode.

The plot is a simple one, mostly revolving around the plane hijack itself, but as the series develops we see it is far more nuanced than that. Just when you think the writing is going in a particular direction, boom, there's a plot twist.

Idris Elba is also fantastic in this, probably his best performance i've ever seen him do.

I think this could have done without the divorce sub-plot of the main character and also there's one or two things the government do that are questionable, which is why i can't give this 10/10, but it was still a thoroughly gripping and entertaining series that i would highly recommend people watching that didn't get to see it on it's first play through.

Stay (I) (2005)

A forgotten gem

[9/10 · 29 July 2023]

I rarely review older movies, but this time i felt i just had to. Prior to watching this, i had never even heard of it, nor knew anything about it, but i am so pleased i did, because it is a fantastic movie and so much better than the star rating makes it seem.

I won't go into the story because of spoilers. But lets just say it appears extremely confusing. Half way through i still had no idea what was going on, but that's the whole point. Those expecting a traditional A to B movie will be disappointed, but i recommend sticking with it to the very end, where if you've been paying attention, you should get what the writers were showing you.

The Director especially did an excellent job in particular, as he blends each scene and uses clever camera trickery so we never know what is real and what is not. At first i thought that was a distracting annoyance, but now i realise it was all part of the plan to reach the incredibly interesting and sad conclusion. Yes i even cried at the end.

If i have a small criticism it's Gosling, who does his usual po-faced wooden acting, but aside from that, this is one movie that will stick with me a long time.

Chupa (2023)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 26 July 2023]

In this family film, a Mexican family discover a baby Chupacabra (a Fabled creature), and want to reunite it with it's family, however a private organisation have other ideas.

I am surprised at how much i enjoyed this and equally puzzled why it has such a low rating. Sure it may have a pretty standard story with the usual schtick, but it had some good morals and pretty decent acting. I even found myself really rooting for the creature and getting teary and the sad parts.

I think it could have done with some more development with the villains, but this is just a simple family-friendly afternoon type film and for that i think it does pretty well.

Bicentennial Man (1999)

Slow as they come

[5/10 · 17 July 2023]

Set in an undefined future, this movie is an oldie but often forgotten and there's a reason, because it's really unremarkable.

The story revolves around an Android (nay Humanoid), that has a personality. THATS IT, that's the entire plot of this 2 hr movie. Literally nothing else happens. I really wish they'd explored the robots different connections with each person, like the romance of one character and the mentorship of Sam Niell's character, but it doesn't happen, because we speed run through each decade like they're just people passing on a street. Im convinced i could write a much better story, which is a shame, because there's so much potential, but it just never goes anywhere, which means i can't connect to any of the characters and don't care at all about any of them.

Robin Williams is excellent as always, which is why it boosts it a few stars, but the others all just act morose all the time (especially the girls near the start).

There was some good comedy moments though, although all from Williams, but Night at the Museum, I'Robot and Mrs Doubtfire, are all funnier and more entertaining. These are all family films that i'd be happy to watch several times. I've watched this twice and that's more than enough.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

One of the best of the series

[8/10 · 12 July 2023]

I won't explain too much in this latest instalment of the popular spy franchise, partly because it's very complicated, (Maybe a little too much), but also not to spoil anything as the story is quite a unique one as spy movies go.

What i will say is despite the long running time, this film rarely feels slow, due to a lot of fast-paced stunt scenes, which will all get the adrenalin pumping. The train finale is particularly noteworthy, with although some very farfetched elements, delivers big time on the climax we never got with Fast X.

Tom Cruise is also on top form, with his usual charismatic, humourous yet determined drive as Ethan.

Some films have got tired by their multi-sequel cash-ins, this is not one of them, this is as good as any of the previous outings, if not one the best.

Gosford Park (2001)

Plain dreadful

[1/10 · 10 July 2023]

I don't usually review films this old, but on this one i had to make an exception.

I don't know what film other people were watching, because anyone that rates this higher than 5/10 need their logic questioned.

First off, it's over 2 hours which is already long, but guess what, i gave up watching after 75 mins because literally NOTHING happens. It's called a murder film, but over an hour into it and still no murder, totally unforgivable.

The other huge issue with this is the absurd amount of characters who all have the exact same personality, snobbish.

On a more personal note, it also really bothered me they kept pronouncing Valet wrong, but that's probably just me.

Add to that how annoying and obnoxious the characters make English people seem is very frustrating, i'm sure not all people from the 30's were posh animal murdering twats.

I haven't seen this film in 22 years, now i know why.

Honestly this is in my top 10 worst films of all time, which puzzles me why it has such a high rating. Maybe it gets better towards the end, but honestly i really don't care, it lost me after the first 20 mins.

A Day (2017)

Incredible

[10/10 · 2 July 2023]

This movie, done something to me, it ruined me, it took me to a place few movies do and showed me once again, how Eastern Movies are often so much better than anything Hollywood has to offer.

The premise may be a bit hard to swallow, but it is handled bloody brilliantly, with the filmmakers setting the tone beautifully midway between reality and fantasy.

The plot starts off with a man reliving a day where his Daughter is killed, but as the story unfolds, the writer's slowly leak in more plot twists that separate this from many other less-decent films of the same genre.

Everything is just amazing, from the actors, to the make-up and the way the characters are all well rounded and unique.

I cannot recommend this more for fans of thought-provoking movies.

I give very few movies 10/10, but this deserves it. I will remember for life and i doubt see another i liked as much for a very long time.

Secret Invasion (2023)

Great

[8/10 · 30 June 2023]

I write this review after just episode 2 because there's far too much criticism for this fantastic series. The show picks up post-blip, where a rebel Skrull splinter cell are planning a world wide war against us Humans, but instead of the usual CGI heavy nerdy babble we usually get from Marvel, this time we have a really thrilling series so far, with a gritty plot that is unfolding at a nice pace, not too slapdash. But not slow burn either and some action sets which stop it being too wordy.

This is sort of like a cross-over of Spooks and Agents of Shield and I for one cannot wait for episode 3 to see what happens next. This is what i wanted Andor to be like.

The Flash (I) (2023)

A whole lot of fun

[8/10 · 20 June 2023]

This movie starts out with a big car chase, that is a little too on the nose for me and i feared this would be one big cringe-fest, thankfully, it wasn't. The main man himself goes back in time to save his Mother from death, but as time travel usually does, it goes horribly wrong and he finds himself in a worse position than when he started.

There's plenty of humour, but it's not over-used (unlike Thor; Love and Thunder) and it's mixed in with a decent storyline that's not too contrived for superhero newbies either. There is a massive hole in the story when it comes down to who killed his Mother and why, so don't expect any awards for writing, but where this movie shines is in it's visual effects, which are literally stunning and must be seen on the big screen for full effect.

Sure this isn't Oscar territory or anything groundbreaking plot wise, but it's a whole heap of fun and that's what superhero movies are meant to be, so if you want to see 1 superhero movie this year, make it the new Spiderman, but if you want to see 2, this is a must-see.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Borrrring

[3/10 · 13 June 2023]

Ha! 7.8. That just goes to show, acting ability alone is what most people score upon. I can tell within the first 30 mins that this is an American film, why is it so religious, if i wanted to watch a film about a cult, i'd watch Hereditary. I was also so bored that i gave up with this after just 30 mins, so it may have got better, but honestly, i don't care, it was so boring i couldn't take anymore. I do like some Dramas, but at least have them going somewhere. What is the point. This is all style no substance. Maybe it's just too high brow for me, but i like things to actually happen, i can watch paint dry any time.

Fast X (2023)

Disappointing

[6/10 · 6 June 2023]

This is the 10th + likely last instalment of the popular car franchise, that sadly has got less and less about cars as the series has gone on, but despite that, i had quite high expectations from this. I shouldn't have.

The story, (for what there is of it), revolves around Jason Mamoa, coming after Vin Diesel because he killed he's Father 10 years earlier, (or maybe he didn't idk) during the vault heist of the 5th movie, so this movie picks up from that point, sadly that is the best part of the movie, because at least Fast 5 had originality and felt worthwhile, whereas this piece of garbage was a waste of time.

Whether you'd enjoy this completely depends on what you want from a movie, if you want action + special Fx, then this is right up there with the best, as the action pretty much never stops the entire way through + the SFX are off the chart, it really is a visual treat. However if you want anything else from a movie, forget it. The story is wafer thin, the acting is sub par for the most part, especially Diesel who seems to drift more into modelling instead of acting with each film. Someone please tell him snarling at the camera is not acting. Worse still is the script, it's so cliche, it's cringy. F+ F has always been a bit tongue in cheek, but this time , it's just embarrassing. However of all of those issues, the biggest problem i have is the ending + without spoiling too much, it's a disaster that left me feeling robbed of my cinema entry fee.

On a side note, there's several cameos that are fun.

Overall though, despite this having some fantastic action scenes + blisteringly good SFX, when you think of how much is wrong with it, you realise the action just doesn't matter anymore. I think it's time to put this franchise to bed now.

Prisoners (2013)

Disappointed

[5/10 · 1 June 2023]

I don't usually review movies this old, but although i've seen this before, i just had to review it and here's why.

The story is fantastically acted and intense and a lot of the time intentionally uncomfortable to watch, but i have just one gripe that spoilt a lot of my enjoyment; It's the conflation of morals that if in the real world, would make me so angry and as the actors did so well in this, the anger transcended into the movie. Let me explain more... Most of the movie is dedicated to Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal's characters, who we are meant to see as the good guys, yet in the first 20 mins Gyllenhaal's character jumps the conclusion someone is a criminal just because they were nearby and acting weird and then threatens said suspect. Isn't innocent until proven guilty a thing in the U. S, then there's Jackman's character, who is a kidnapper, holding someone who he thinks is a kidnapper, yeah really a good guy and what happens of he's Daughter is rescued and he's on a life sentence or worse, death row, what a great Father he is. Meanwhile the actual bad guy/gal of the story is killed because she is against Christianity. Ok she's a lunatic, but so he Jackman's character. As a UK citizen, i am glad Christianity doesn't automatically mean you are a good guy here, sorry U. S, you need to get some better ethics.

As stated, i watched this when it first came out and liked it more, but since then iv'e grown up and good acting is simply not enough for me to get into the film, i have to empathise with the characters, and this time round, i simply didn't.

I won't explain the story because it's old and as this has spoilers, you probably wouldn't be reading it for plot, but i would say the plot is decent enough, but not enough to override my complaints. I know there are people that say there is a deeper meaning behind this, but i didn't see that, so either i am missing something or they are seeing something that isn't there.

To conclude, the acting alone gets this the 5 stars, but it could have been much better with a different screeplay.

Mr. Nobody (2009)

Most disjointed film in a long time

[1/10 · 22 May 2023]

I don't know what's more baffling, this movie or the fact it has such a high rating. Aside from the decent acting, this is a terrible mix mash of stories, none of which make any sense, or have any level of intrigue. I get that it's a cerebral movie, but at least have some cohesion. Also i was so bored, but i stuck it out for the 1st hour, but after that i couldn't stomach it any more. I can honestly say this is the 2nd most confusing and boring movie i have ever seen (next to Cloud Atlas). There's simply no linear story and from what i've read here, it doesn't ever get around to explaining it. If i have no clue what the heck is going on after an hour of boredom, then whatever the outcome may be at the end, is simply not worth waiting for.

My advise, ignore the fake over-praised reviews and of ones of people that don't care decent storytelling and do something else with your time, like going to the Dentist, that would be preferable.

Death's Roulette (2023)

Not bad for a foreign language film

[6/10 · 11 May 2023]

This is an ok movie, not in my native language, but i still managed to follow it.

The set up is a group of people who at first seem random (mostly) strangers, but as the plot develops, that is shown not to be the case. If that premise sounds familiar, it's because it's been done many times before, in movies such as The Circle, Escape Room and The Exam.

The acting is pretty good and the story is well paced, but where i have the biggest issue is with the ending. I won't spoil it but lets just say it left me feeling very unsatisfied.

This is worth a go if you have a short while to spare and are ok with subtitles (unless Spanish), but of you want good story writing, maybe this isn't ideal.

Invitation to a Murder (2023)

Watchable

[6/10 · 29 April 2023]

This is a murder mystery in a setting similar to films like Murder on the Orient Express and Clue, sadly as much as this isn't a terrible movie, it isn't up there with those classics.

On the plus side, the story is quite compelling and doesn't go in the obvious direction. It's also not stuffed with too much filler.

Unfortunately there are some major criticisms i have with this, not least the atrocious accents that range from Traditional English to Pantomine Dame. However it's the main character where's i have most issues. First off, she looks like she's walked in right off the catwalk, not Mid 20th Century England, but worse than that, is how her character behaves. Are we really to believe a group of Adults, most older than her, are going to be bossed around like school Children by a Florist. She even gives orders to the Detective. Why on Earth would anyone let a normal civilian interrogate and order them around, even if she was good at selling murders. At least Jesscia Fletcher of Murder she wrote had the decency to speak to people with respect, this woman was a trumped up snob that in reality would be laughed at. This is a shame, because it's so distracting from the movie, it means it's quite hard to get into.

Still, if you have 90 mins free and there's no better options, it should prevent boredom.

Nobody (I) (2021)

Dull dull dull

[3/10 · 20 April 2023]

I am totally bemused by the high rating of this bore-fest. It's a very run of the mill action film, with OTT violence and a storyline that is just plain uninteresting.

The fight scenes are well staged i guess, but there's way too many of them.

Then there's the soundtrack, which you will either love or hate, personally i hated it, for me, pop music used as regularly as it is in this spoils the movie as it becomes eye-rolling after several occassions.

The main reason i didn't like this though is simple, it's just plain dull. I felt myself almost falling asleep and couldn't wait for it to finish. Then there's the acting, if you could call it that, the lead is so wooden and one dimensional, he makes Liam Nesson look like Laurence Olivier.

Sorry not my bag this one. I can only assume the high score is because of too few of views.

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

Style but no substance

[5/10 · 10 October 2022]

This fantasy from a few years back is about a family who move into a new home, only to discover a book which details some odd monsters, but these monsters want the book from them and the only thing stopping them is a magical circle around the house. Convenient hey.

There are some major flaws with this movie... the leads make some terrible decisions, like taking the book out the circle when that is precisely what will cause their doom. Also couldn't they just throw the book into the ocean or bury it somewhere where there's thousand of people and a few Goblins couldn't do much? Another thing, why do all the Goblins talk English. There's an Elven Language, so why not Goblin?

Another critique is how quickly everyone accepted the monsters. Sure maybe the kids, but grown Adults. If i suddenly had something invisible attacking me, i would either A; Be terrified or B; try to find a more logical explanation for what it is, rather than just accept Goblins exist.

For me the 2 worst things about this movie are the cringey acting from the Female leads, (thankfully Highmore does a good job, especially given he has to play to himself sometimes), and the sloppy script writing, that to me was only suitable to kids. When i watched this the first time i was a lot younger, maybe that's why i enjoyed it more then than i did this time.

Thankfully, putting that all aside, there are some saving graces on this movie. The main one being the fantastic VFX (not SFX as some viewers mistakenly state), which bring the monsters to life so much you never feel the actors are actually there with nothing (or puppets at best). The set design and props departments did a great job too, bringing the magic of fairies and alike to life. It's just a shame that it kinda fell flat for me this time around.