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timhartland
Reviews
Vampires Suck (2010)
Shocking - just cringeworthy and lame
This is up there with the worst movies in the history of mankind, so many ridiculous scenes that failed to make you laugh and lots of really crude humour and lines that just aren't appropriate in modern society. Love a good comedy, and really like movies like flying high, which this is trying to be. But is epically bad.
The police Sergeant Dad comments on his daughters breasts, there's closely related siblings, making out and more toilet, humour and ridiculous nonsense than a 10-year-old could dream up. It blows my mind that this movie was created, but it was an area. A real shocker. Make sure you don't watch this.
Joe vs Carole (2022)
Gripping and accurate - amazing
This was incredible I binged over a few days was that good, just such an accurate portrayal and the acting and character impersonations was incredible. As I had watched it all I found it so interesting.
The Lost Daughter (2021)
Shocker
This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life, my wife made me watch it with her and it was in Netflix top 10 movies of the week. It is painfully boring, slow and the lead role is a shallow lady who is an absolute idiot. I have absolutely no empathy or understanding of her, dill and boorish zombie...and it kind of just finishes with so many things up and yeah it was just nothing ending and I wish I could have those couple of hours of my life back. Shocker.
Father Christmas Is Back (2021)
Still hiding behind my pillow hoping it has finished
Terrible - shocker.- embarrassing and ridiculous- tragically bad. Over acting, no real purpose, patchy and the worst. Why! What had Covid done to people in the UKs minds!!
The Fear of Beer (2021)
Fun and a twist on rolls
It's one of those classic humoured short films that is zany but makes you think. Also some classic one liners and characters which if you watch this 3 or 4 times you really get to know and like. Imagine not liking something all your life because it's not 'cool' the trying and having an ah-ha moment ! Lemonadeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Patrick (2018)
Loved the scenery and fun storyline
What's not to love about this film - feel good and fun, cracking countryside and London pics, love the lead actress she is amazing carried the film. Some great cameos and just a brilliant family film. Love.
Thunder Force (2021)
Just terrible
A few laughs which were good but majority of this just stupid and beyond imbecile. Poor acting by some leads and a daggy story. Such a terrible movie. Speechless.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Opening ep 1 brilliant and then down hill
Started in brilliant fashion with action and then just became dialogue heavy and stale. Laboriously plodding along. Where are all the othe super hero's - what they suddenly don't exist. Slow and methodical but getting boring.
The Wrong Missy (2020)
Terrible really really bad
One of the worst movies - SO much pointless foul language and toilet humour. Just a terrible, messy waste of a movie. Cringeworthy and can't believe they wasted time with this. Terrible. Don't waste you precious life minutes.
The Merger (2018)
Cracker of a movie
This was a brilliant movie, so funny and so on message. Really made you stop and think about immigrants and how we are moving as a nation. But that aside just quirky and fun. Just such a hidden little treasure of a movie.love.
WandaVision (2021)
Weird
Just strange - very strange - like a bad joke. Just so weird and hard to know what the heck they were hoping to achieve. We tuned out half was through was that bad. We tried episode 2 equally strange. Pass.
Soul (2020)
Tedious and long
Has an ok start and a bit of a story but this is a long and tedious movie which kind of ends now where like it began. The kids (teens) all drifted and none finished:
Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (2020)
Good if not for ridiculous singing
The storyline and show could have been good. However it is the cringeworthy singing and high school standard flash mobs that interrupt an ok show. First 20 minutes was great. Then ... ugh 🤦♀️ We almost made it through episode one/ then tried twice more. Man oh man this is terrible.
Ava (2020)
Way too many f bombs
Foul language every second word with just no purpose. Ruins it - such trash. Really bad movie could have been ok. Pass.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Fantastic fun
Great acting and cast, brilliant story line and loved the direct talking to camera and cheeky one liners. Great family movie and perfect for teens. Loved the scenery and Sherlock Holmes being superman / just so cool.
Valley Girl (2020)
Blast from past / so much fun
Think les mis and mumma Mia - set in 80s stranger things era and similar to season 3. So many happy memories, just a fun little movie. Was cool.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Such fun and some classy music scenes
Loved this movie so much. Clever little story lines, great characters, romantic and believable between main characters and LOVED the songs !! What a breath of fresh air this movie was.
McLeod's Daughters (2001)
Brilliant and epic
Just the best show Australian TV have produced. Great storyline's, groovy characters and loveable people. Great stuff get onto it !!
Fame Us (2017)
Wonderfully directed and insightful
Well who wants to be famous? This film had it aall, David Hasselhoff saying frame isn't everything but then many chasing it at all costs. Lincoln Fenner does an incredible job in providing the viewer with a fast paced and entertaining look at social media and people's never-ending pursuit of fame. This is a great movie and I highly recommend. I am hoping this post will make me famous!
Sextuplets (2019)
Dreadful
Just dreadful, unfunny, cringeworthy, (lots of white / black jokes) unfunny and felt unwarranted and just so bad - switched off about 70% way through just couldn't do it
Tag (2018)
Tries but never gets there
They tried and could have been cool but just story was very one dimensional. Also just way too much swearing and crudeness which detracted from what could have been a fun family ride. Just missed mark for me and was less tag and more like a game of hide and seek!
Swimming with Men (2018)
Fresh and so funny/ quirky
Loved this for a lazy Saturday night at the movies. A few really laugh out loud moments and lots of snickers. Just a cool movie - loved.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Masterful
Just a brilliant movie start to end, one of the ALL TIME great movies which will be enjoyed for generations. Brilliant and loved they concentrated on the music while not shying away from the band. Love the weaving of true and make believe to tell the story, Freddie would have loved that.
The Dirt (2019)
Ordinary
This is so ordinary compared to a movie like Bohemian Rhapsody. There were about 20 foul words in first 5-10 minutes and went downhill from there. Just a yuk feel movie.