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Fast X (2023)
A learning experience
As awful as the writing is, I did manage to learn a few things. For instance I didn't know that all roads in Rome lead to the Vatican and are sloped downhill at such an extreme angle that a rolling ball bomb will roll continuously and never lose momentum no matter what. I also learned that a 1970 Dodge Charger has more traction with its rear wheels in the air than two helicopters have lift combined. And speaking of Dodge Chargers, all model years are indestructible. Seriously, they don't have airbags because they can't be destroyed. You can drop em out of a plane, hit 'em with a crane, if you bet against them, you must be insane! I heard Boeing is going to use dodge Chargers for their airplane black boxes. And think I also heard that after watching Fast X, the Army is retiring the Abrahams tank and awarding the contract to Dodge. I'd say I'm done with this Fast nonsense but I'll watch the sequels because I've watched every other sorry mess from the start. But I'll wait until they're on cable.
The Vast of Night (2019)
What the heck was that?
Seriously, what the heck did I just watch? I knew going in that this was a "slow burn" and not to expect whiz-bang action scenes but I did expect some substance of what you could call a movie. For the first 20 minutes or so the movie is nothing more than one long episode of verbal diarrhea from the lead actress. I don't think she inhaled once during that whole time. I guess that's amazing from a Guinness World Record standpoint but it left me wanting to stick a pencil into my ears. The rest of the movie is more of the same - it's like watching a study on ADHD in the lead actress. I would compare watching this movie to running a daycare for twenty 5-year olds who have each just eaten a bag of candy and drank a pot of coffee. The positive reviews are a lie.
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
So sloooowwwws
One of the slowest developing stories I've ever seen. At 2 hours and 40 mins it was probably about 2 hours too long. I gave it a 5 out of 10 but I'm thinking I was too generous - maybe giving Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn too much credit based on what great actors they are. Any way, there was so much meaningless dialogue and dead air in this movie that I found it necessary to fast forward several scenes. Not that I missed anything though,..in one scene the two main characters tailed a van for 8 minutes - 8 minutes of driving around saying absolutely nothing of value! This was easily Mel's and Vince's worst movie.
Summertime (2018)
It's just not good
The best part about this movie is the blue firebird. I'm not even kidding. The acting was mediocre at best and the storyline...well there wasn't one. There wasn't one memorable scene, one-liner, or anything to take away from this movie. I'm nostalgic for the 80's so I really wanted to like this movie but it's just not good.
The Last Duel (2021)
Let me save you an hour
The Duel shines in the final act for which it gets its title. It was so good in its raw brutality that I actually gasped at one point. I was so drawn into it. But the problem with The Duel is the journey to get to that point. The three chapters leading up to the finale are essentially the exact same story. I expected three different points of view but they're painfully similar. So let me save you an hour of your time, pick one of the three chapters, watch it and then skip to the actual duel.