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Reviews
Harsh Times (2005)
Possibly the most disappointing movie I have ever seen. ever. I'm not exaggerating .
Let me preface this by saying that I am definitely a fan of Bale's previous work- particularly American Psycho, and I thought training day was awesome. I also live in LA if that means anything. I'm aware of the fact that trailers are often deceiving, but judging from this movie's trailer- I truly believed that the film showed promise. Knowing this, you may be asking yourself, "how is it possible for a motion picture to contain so much suck in only 2 hrs?" I honestly don't know how it's possible but, they were able to do it. There's not just one thing that makes this movie unbearable- so let me highlight a few of elements that did so. First of all this movie should have been titled something slightly more relevant, e.g.: "stupid people looking for a job in LA", or maybe the less wordy, "jobhunt". Was I the only one who thought from the trailer that Bale was actually going to become a cop? Secondly, the most common misconception in criticism I'm hearing is that the acting is bad, but the fact of the matter is that all of the actors did a bar-none job of portraying stupid, unlikable people. I don't consider myself a saint, but I could not relate to, or even feel sympathy for any of the characters. These are the kind of people who make the world a sh*tty place to live in: corrupt, lazy, lying, drinking-while-driving, gun-toting, dope-smoking, misogynistic, anti-intellectual, selfish, ignorant pieces of sh*t. These people corrupt the military, the police force, school-systems, essentially everything they touch, and yet I felt that these characters were being glorified throughout the whole film, except for towards the end when Bale goes nuts; however it is at this point that I felt Rodriguez stepped-up to being the hero. The thing that bugs me the most is that Rodriguez's character was able to run home after literally murdering his best-friend in the face, make-out with Eva Longoria, and pretend like everything was going to end up fine. I'm sorry- while I don't doubt the rejuvenating qualities of swapping spit with Ms. Longoria, I think its effect was slightly exaggerated, because I don't really think that it could eliminate the horror of killing your best friend. Most disturbing to me is the fact that people not only enjoyed this movie, they loved it! People are already screaming Oscar-worthy, when the truth of the matter is that at best this movie should have gone straight to DVD, and I'm being generous. In all honesty, this movie should never have seen the light of day. I highly regret not walking out of the film, as did two of my friends who went to the movie with me. Of higher priority than 8 dollars, is time, and if you value either I urge you to avoid this movie at all costs.
Saw III (2006)
terrible.
I just came back from viewing saw III, and I must say that it is probably the most intricately woven piece of crap I've ever seen. Fortunately for my sake, I went into the movie with low expectations so I ended up being only slightly disappointed. My main problem with the film is that it makes a very tired attempt at masking it's characteristics of a snuff film by throwing in a shoddy storyline, sub-par dialogue, and a handful of excessively mediocre plot-twists. HOLY S*** SAW-PEOPLE! YOU'VE PIECED TOGETHER NOT JUST ONE, BUT SEVERAL WEAK MONTAGES OF RANDOM FLASHBACKS SUPPORTED BY THE SAME LAME MUSIC FOR EVERY SEQUENCE... unimpressed. In addition, the logical inconsistencies are beyond abundant, but the film's realism (or lack thereof) is a factor of considerably less importance in determining the value of this film. To be honest- I don't have the motivation to expose what a travesty this movie really is, because it's more than capable of proving this without my assistance. In summation, I do not regret seeing this film, because it has provided me with some much needed blog-fodder. To the reader I must say: I could care less whether or not you see the film or not, but consider yourself warned, because if you do choose to watch this train-wreck of a motion picture you'll have no one to blame but yourself for "wasting 8 bucks". Not since Mel's Passion of the Christ has a snuff film attempted to pass for something more. What's even more disappointing is that, through the unintentional support of viewers like myself and the intentional support of the legions of retards comprising the movie-going public, the saw enterprise will continue to discharge more cinematic dysentery for many a Halloween to come. What's even more disappointing is that it's received a collective rating of over 7 stars, am I the only one who's shocked? That's it for this review- I'm going to watch something with some redemptive values like Monty Python.