simoncrunch Reviews

The Purge (2018–2019)

Bad actors & stupid characters

[4/10 · 17 October 2019]

..should be the title of the series...from the top "executive" who blubbers and cries her way from stupid situation to even dumber ones...the general fact that people living in this "universe"..are aware of purge, but somehow seem shocked when things happen. Just dumb...I mean the people who made this must be aware of good television right?....how can you watch "breaking Bad" or "the wire", then take millions of dollars and produce garbage like this?

The Blacklist (2013–2023)

Good silly fun, with only one problem

[7/10 · 24 April 2019]

Ok

Fun show, James Spaders over the top with his "stories"......but my only problem? "special agent Elizabeth Keen" is a twit....full on ding-dong. Nothing special about her (the whole premise revolves around her importance to others)...and she is constantly "going it alone"..."doesn't need help"...and EVERYTIME she drops the ball. Annoyingly regularly. They sent a checkers player to play chess.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

If you love zombies...and don't mind stupid survivors.

[6/10 · 12 April 2019]

Yup....hopelessly stupid "survivors".....no one even thought about arming themselves for 5 episodes. They got a bag of guns...and carried them around instead of arming themselves for ages. They also never took much ammo from the armory...this only bugs dorks like me.

also..one woman character who likes to freeze and stare in horror and needs to be pulled away anytime something bad happens.

The Zombies are fast & nasty...they don't shuffle up to you for a head stab. There is one guy who is constantly running away...gotta admit. I am rooting for the Zombies.

King of the Dancehall (2016)

lazy garbage

[3/10 · 11 February 2019]

This should be called "horny people having kids with no adult plans"

I lived in Jamaica, "blood clot"..every 2nd word?

Yeah, hire an American has-been millionaire to do a painful interpretation of Jamaician Patois.....everybody runs to see anything with "Busta Rhymes" in it.

I worked for Gregory Isaac, I saw and experienced Jamaica...this is a nonsensical, vanity project.

Could have shown respect for the country, instead it was a ridiculous rip off of dirty dancing.

Gotti (2018)

Trying too hard..yup trying too hard

[5/10 · 10 August 2018]

We have classic mob films..as portrayed, hard to understand how some fat ignorant cliches are criminal masterminds. I love Travolta..i guess...but the shameless ref to pulp fiction?..with the surf guitar.

The weird religion. Personal hype....it adds up, people are not as stupid as you believe.I am Riveted watching Sopranos or Godfather... but this is self indulgent nonsense.

The Domestics (2018)

what was that?

[5/10 · 17 July 2018]

The movie should be called "two people who don't realize the world is now dangerous & act like idiots..oh, and the guy keeps getting his gun taken away"

Colony (2016–2018)

I want to like it

[7/10 · 17 June 2018]

Great concept, but somehow it's focus seems to be a vehicle for the Actor "Jamie Wayne"? to play another shitty mother...often in error but never in doubt. Hopefully like the "walking Dead" the character will be killed off and we can get on with the story.

12 Monkeys (2015–2018)

Fun & Frolicy....but

[8/10 · 31 May 2018]

Just a thing that bugs me..a lot. SO much..and we are talking about the existence of the world here...is "Jose's" entire focus being about his kid...who he knew for a few months..tossled his hair, played some board games....but the whole "The world can go to hell, because I have a son"..thing, gets a bit silly.

Sense8 (2015–2018)

I Really got into this....I did not know it was cancelled until I saw it all!

[8/10 · 28 May 2018]

Yup....on the edge of my seat at the end of season 2 after days of binge watching...find out it is cancelled. Apparently there will be a finale. But dear Lord, I will check in the future before I get into a show. I had the rug pulled from underneath me on this one. It was a huge production, filmed all over the world. Must have been a huge budget.

The Rain (2018–2020)

Goofy & innocent

[5/10 · 14 May 2018]

...after 5 years in a brutal new world... The characters act like they are in the "Goonies".... let's just say in the "walking Dead" universe..after 5 years, If one person tried to hold them up with a knife and take their food?...they would have a good laugh before killing the guy.

Great concept..but the "volunteer cannibals"... "let's leave the safe bunker before the scary scientist gets back"..and many more...deflates any sense of seriousness and just makes it all kind of weak and silly.

Fear the Walking Dead: What's Your Story? (2018) Season 4, Episode 1

PLEASE keep going

[9/10 · 16 April 2018]

From the bossy Mom ( never in doubt but often wrong) ..the Junky son, "warrior dad" too afraid to be tough...FTWD has been a poor substitute for the plot, characters, and general excellence of the parent series. Hope they stick with this, obviously we are now in the same timeline, Please don't let whomever was responsible for the annoying characters & general stupidity back at the helm.

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

I want to like it

[6/10 · 15 April 2018]

Aside from the fact, everyone behaves like it is a camping trip gone astray...rather than an interstellar journey for mankind...It is that Will Robinson himself is the source of pretty much every conundrum. He is like the cowardly kid from walking dead....but not eaten by Zombies...I just think a whiny cowardly kid & a text book scammer douche (Parker Posey..awesome in Guest films) are not the characters to build a huge reboot around...it will get cancelled. How the hell do they still give millions to people who make bad tv?...maybe they should just hire the same people from Game of thrones, Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, The Wire etc

Real Rob (2015–2017)

Clumsy and obvious

[3/10 · 9 April 2018]

Someone obviously watched a lot of "curb your enthusiasm"....problem is, when you are not a comedic genius & try to give your show some "street cred" with live cutaways to your stand up...which is as observational and funny as a new comic anywhere near you... He was cute in Dr Dredd I guess... But when there is a "stalker..and it is about as believable as a stalker for a dancer in a Nickel Back video. .This is comedy garbage..so, my opinion only..clumsy nonsense.

Black Lightning (2018–2021)

When Adults are barely better than their high school plays

[3/10 · 17 March 2018]

Brutally bad acting...I mean "holy shit, have ANY of these people seen professionals?.. & how can they take money for this with a straight face"...kind of bad... Sets, Budget...amateur background music...it's all there for the taking...but something evil happened here...By "Evil" I mean it sucks...so much ... it is like they are trying to make people watch reruns of something good.