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RunnerOnIce1125
Reviews
Reign Over Me (2007)
Impressive movie about PTSD, 9/11, and the fact that Adam Sandler can actually do drama
Who would have thought that teenage America's mildly funny man could actually pull off this role? Adam Sandler is surprisingly gifted as Charlie Fineman, a man destroyed by his family's death in one of the planes from 9/11. His antics are reminiscent of Ophelia's in act 4, scene 5 of Hamlet, in that they border on madness but stem clearly from deep grief. He is unpredictable, trashing offices and screaming in public whenever forced to confront his past. He occasionally gets to be the funny man, but it is not the normal Adam Sandler brand of humor- it's the sweet, innocent madman next door brand of humor- the harmless schizophrenic who can occasionally enjoy a friend's company brand of humor. But he still manages to pull together his grief for one heartbreaking monologue in the lobby of Liv Tyler's psychiatry office.
Don Cheadle is impressive as ever as Alan Johnson, though it's kind of difficult not to want to strangle him for being like everyone else, and trying to force Charlie to get help. Liv Tyler is a very convincing psychiatrist, and Saffron Burrows is adorable as Don Cheadle's lusty dental patient. Melinda Dillon is no longer the kind mother from A Christmas Story, and Jada Pinkett Smith is competent, if not mildly annoying, as Cheadle's wife.
The only real flaw with this movie is that it ends about seven or eight times, and seems to drag on unnecessarily long after Sandler's monologue. After he has opened up to Cheadle, it would seem the movie would end in a style similar to Speak, but Sandler's character instead chooses to attempt suicide by baiting a police officer, leading through an unnecessarily long yet highly disturbing trial to commit Fineman to an asylum. The audience is forced to consider whether or not a character like Sandler's really should be institutionalized, when he seems very reminiscent of Holden Caufield's description of his history teacher- think about him too much, and you wonder why he's still alive. Think about him just enough, and you realize he's really doing all right for himself.
In any event, this movie really should have been released closer to the Oscars. Because now it won't be remembered well enough to give Sandler the Best Actor nod he deserves for this role.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Aww...how cute. They almost made it work.
The film makers obviously couldn't make up their mind about what type of film they wanted to make. Was it a political statement against nuclear testing? A sentimental film about family dynamics? A disturbing drama to leave audiences feeling ashamed about humanity? Or a gore-tastic, cheap effects, let's see how many teenagers we can get to jump at the same time horror film? They alternated between these four dramas, with a brilliantly ironic opening credits motif involving cheery fifties country music and shots of explosions and deformed babies, an almost romantic scene between a teenage mutant and the main family's teenage son, an almost tear-jerking scene where the son-in-law finds his wife's mutilated body, and a ten or so minute long sequence in which the father is slowly burned to death.
Quite frankly, however, I felt more disturbed than scared of this movie. The "villains" are people- deformed, yes, but still people. Any politically correct movie viewer would know not to fear these people appearance wise- after all, they were deformed by man's inhumanity towards man. And they fall into the same category as Barbosa's crew in Pirates of the Caribbean or Saruman's Uruk Hai in Lord Of The Rings- while they might be scary initially, enough contact with them, and you'll be willing to put aside any fears you have of their appearance. The difference between this movie and POTC or LOTR? POTC and LOTR weren't interested in cheap effects or gore as an art form- the magic in those movies came from other sources. And while I was less disturbed by the mutilated dog than I would have been in the past- let's face it, the dogs always die first in these movies- there's just something infinitely creepy about knocking off a mother, a father, and a mother of an infant in the first batch of human suffering, and then taking the baby to be killed later.
As for the survivors? They were as pedestrian as possible, and, quite frankly, the only ones I wanted to die from the beginning.
The scares were fairly predictable. Woosh! A raven jumping off of a car, combined with loud music! Ah! The crowd goes wild. Oh no! Teenage mutant cannibal running around camera! And she's the good one- so why is she the only one who really gets to do that? And, as I said before, yes, the dog does die first.
But seriously. If they had concentrated on the political angle, this could have been a deeply disturbing movie with a lasting impression. But no...they had to attempt to make a cheap slasher film with as much gore as possible. I left the theater feeling sick, the only shakiness in my body coming from nausea. And I thought Sin City was pathetic.
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
A good movie, but not very enjoyable
There are many things about this movie that make me compare it to In The Bedroom.
First of all, just by watching it, it's obvious that it's a good movie. It's bold, with excellent visual shots and an uncomfortable, tear-worthy ending. Critics love it, for whatever reasons- political, visual, or by sheer merit of the actors alone. There are fabulous performances- in this movie, by Jake Gyllenhal and Michelle Williams; in In The Bedroom, by Cissy Spacek and Tom Wilkenson.
However, just like In The Bedroom, this movie is very rarely enjoyable. It's long, and tedious, and relies a lot on symbolism, which is fine only for a second viewing- the first time around, it feels slow and torturous. There are few genuinely funny moments- understandable, as it is a sad film- however, Return of the King (for example) manages to keep humor piled next to the tissue box. And the directors have both successfully renounced their relial on music to create emotion- a path that rarely manages to succeed.
Brokeback Mountain was a fabulous idea. Let's face it, how many movies out there unashamedly display homosexual relationships as the main plot line- not a coming out story, but a relationship, without making it seem any more taboo than a regular affair? Unfortunately, it was very poor implementation. There is far too much emphasis on outside relationships, considering how little the audience cares about their non-Brokeback lives. There is lovely chemistry between Jake Gyllenhal and Heath Ledger, but Heath Ledger's character is an asshole for no apparent reason, and Heath Ledger himself has decided that a Wyoming accent means never opening your mouth to speak- as a result, it's nigh impossible to understand a single word he twangs.
Frankly, I was disappointed. That doesn't mean I'll never watch it again. I still need to pick up on all of that symbolism- and, let's face it- reevaluate the Gyllenhal/Ledger sex scenes.
Sin City (2005)
Why won't they die??
Maybe it's because I watched it in French with English subtitles, rather than in the original English. Or maybe it's because the movie sucked and made no sense whatsoever. Either way, I didn't understand it.
It's a violent, violent movie. But, as with every soap opera and rpg, death is merely a state of mind induced by boredom. No one ever really dies in this movie. Elijah Wood has to be completely dismembered before he even shows signs of death, and even he seems somewhat lifelike, after his lovely little decapitation. Shot, hanged, drowned, set on fire, stabbed, dismembered, you name it, the characters will survive it.
Frankly, I was a bit perturbed by hooker Alexis Bledel. Isn't she a bit innocent to be playing a hooker? I guess she's no longer the Gilmore Girl we thought she was.
Still, though. You can't argue with Nick Stahl, Josh Hartnett, and Elijah Wood in the same movie, even if they are merely cameos that refuse to die. The three of them move this movie up to 2 stars for me.
I probably should have watched it in English.
At Death's Door (1999)
Ignoring my ulterior motives, this was pretty good
OK, yes, I have ulterior motives. I am obsessed with Cillian Murphy. He is gorgeous, and if my book ever gets published and made into a movie, I'm drafting him to play my villain.
That being said...I loved this film. It was adorable, funny, and lovable. Death has a very cheery cell phone ring.
The other main guy (the one who wasn't Cillian Murphy) looks exactly like Stevie Ray Dallimore, even though I know he isn't. The two women were appreciatively annoying, but that kind of added to the movie's charm, in a way.
But seriously people. Who cares? It's Cillian Murphy! You have to admit, he's adorable when sitting on the therapist's couch, talking earnestly. I just want to kidnap him and hide him in my closet so I could pet him and hug him.
OK, I admit it, I have ulterior motives. But please...give this one a chance.
Robots (2005)
This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.
I have seen numerous bad movies over time, a result of a masochistic pleasure that my friends and I share in bashing horrid movies. I have seen The Final Stab, Cellular, Queen of the Damned, Jeepers Creepers, and Sleepover. And yet, despite all of this, Robots wins for the worst movie I have ever seen.
Why is this? Why is this movie so bad that it ranks below Sleepover and The Final Stab? Simply because the aforementioned movies were all bad enough to be good. No matter how much they sucked, I managed to find some pleasure in watching them. Robots, on the other hand, was simply painful to watch, and elicited no pleasure whatsoever. The few jokes this movie possessed were either ripped from other movies and pop culture (a dying robot singing Daisy- what could have been a lovely joke, except that 1. It was ripping off a better movie and 2. The target audience has likely never heard of said better movie) or the yawn-inducing crude humor meant to impress modern five year olds who couldn't live without video games. Robin Williams added no amusement, as he tried yet again to reproduce the genius he managed to possess in Aladdin.
Please, whatever you do, do not see this movie. It is painful to watch. Literally.
Cellular (2004)
You've got to love a movie that makes you think: WWJD For A Charger?
I loved this movie.
Keep in mind, I didn't think it was an expert work of cinema- far from it. I only enjoyed watching it because it was so bad.
Truth be told, it felt very parody-ish at times. Probably because the leading man was the jock in Not Another Teen Movie, and seemed to be reprising the role here. But come on. It's supposed to be a suspenseful thriller, and here he is, holding up a store at gunpoint to get a charger, while the lead policeman is being harassed for being involved in a day spa with his wife. I only hope the filmmakers intended the film to be funny, because it was so nonsensical, it could hardly be considered scary.
Basically, if you're at a party, and you can get this for free, and your friends are the type to bash bad movies, rent this. It's definitely worth the entertainment value of laughing at its expense.
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)
Um...were we supposed to care if these kids die?
Because, quite frankly, I despised most of them. There were a few kids who I felt deserved to live, and the rest had no hope. I kept waiting for Scotty to die. He was doomed from the second he started making racist comments.
As for the psychic cheerleader...she was a bit too cheerleader-like for me to really feel sorry for her. And the rest were too jock-like.
Quite frankly, if the Creeper were smiling at me, I'd laugh and smile back. He was adorable, at times. And quite good natured, for a human-eating monster.
What I'm having trouble understanding, however, is why the farmer was putting him up as a scarecrow. Didn't he try to eat him while setting him up there? OK, yeah, I can understand that he might have gotten there on his own, but why is he identical to the other two scarecrows?
Overall...I enjoyed this movie, simply because it was so bad, it was funny. I kept expecting the Creeper to jump down and start singing "If I Only Had A Brain," though. That might have been more fun than the movie itself.