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Army of the Dead (2021)
Army of the Dead Pixel and All Brain Cells
First, how does a movie like this release with several dead pixels interspersed? What the beans.... come one.
Second, what in the absolute garbage shoot happened to everyone's decision making ability as the plot progressed. MY WORD! Several times throughout the movie I found myself audibly gasping "oh come on" because no one would EVER make the choices that these characters do. As the nuke gets closer all sense of urgency and decision making is utterly vacant. Beyond frustrating. I totally understand that some movies need some weird decisions to make the plot flow but this was next level. I was angry that the first 45 minutes roped me in but then it all went to crap.
Third, the daughter character is absolutely and completely insane. What a brainless little child. I would have thrown her off the roof myself once I found her again after what she did. COME ON!!! Who wrote this garbage.
Disappointing waste of time. I had high hopes because Snyder has impressed me for a while but this was just sad...
Unbroken (2014)
Do not watch if you have read the book
I know that it is hopeless to think that a movie can possibly live up to that of the original book, but come on Angelina? Really? This was a terrible terrible TERRIBLE adaptation of the story. There is absolutely no character development. You learn a total of two names the whole movie! I can't possibly imagine Zemperini himself would have given this "movie" more than 1 star. There is an obscene amount of development and crucial events left out of this film. All the heart and gut wrenching sections of the book are turned into a sloppy two second portrayal of entire chapters. I honestly think Angelina was sitting there thumbing through the book and thought "oh, we better put this CRUCIAL event into the movie, um. Louie, go stand over there and look dazed, perfect, got it." COME ON! It made me so sad to have read the book and then see this pathetic attempt to relay even a fraction of the story. SO SO SO SO much is left out. If I hadn't read the book I would have been completely lost. The Bird was a complete sociopath, absolute lunatic that I sincerely hope is somewhere very hot right now. This movie showed him as a disgruntled guard that was a little power hungry. COME ON, ANGELINA!!!!!!! At least try to put some depth to him. Did you even read the book?????? At the end of the movie I was so surprised that it was over. I thought this can't possibly be it. There is so much left out. Made me very very very sad to think that this is the movie representation that a great man is remembered by...... agh.....
Lost in Space (2018)
Acting is the worst i've ever seen
Good premise for a movie. But man the acting is absolutely horrific. Main villain seems like she it trying to push out a kidney stone with every line. I really wanted to like it but it is just too hard when I physically cringe and nearly every spoken word. To boot the science and plot resolution is beyond terrible. They just make something up everytime the first solution fails. The second solution is always a beyond better idea that they "oversaw" while they tried out their doomed initial plan. Half the ideas are plot thickeners with no purpose than to reach proper length of an episode.
Just terrible acting is the main reason for my 1 star review. Can't stand it when the cast can't deliver a line worth garbage.
Slumlord (2015)
Maybe i'm not into the genre enough
There's a good chance i'm a sucker for "good" endings which could discredit my whole refute of this movie. However, the ending was complete garbage. Just characters being dumb. Classic dumb dumb dumb. Read my spoiler complaints and you'll see why the movie sucks. I may be watching the wrong kind of movie to get a somewhat "good" ending. Just one solid hit on old man is all I ask for. They all die and the prego chick gets taken? Come on. What a dark dark end to my day. Just blows.
Spoiler-
First, why in the heck would the main guy with the bat leave princess cheater and queen prego alone in the bathroom and go on a darkened safari for some creepily buff looking old man? Nonsense. Wait in the room and have him come to you. Keep the control idiot.
Second, princess cheater is the slowest moving piece of garbage. She gets out the window to go call for help and takes about two steps out the window before "hiding" then the bumbling old man somehow sneaks up on her enough to be unexpectedly tackled into the pool. Take more than two steps you idiot. All the while the freaking neighbors are dumber than nails. Who doesn't hear those screams? I mean come on. Someone had to have heard something.
All the Money in the World (2017)
Good Start but Terrible Finish
Awesome plot but the movie really goes downhill near the end. From the moment the boy is released is when things just stop making sense. Great start but a terrible terrible finish.
Braven (2018)
Solid movie destroyed by insanely brainless action scenes
The movie had the makings for a solid film. Jason Momoa played a decent role but the whole movie was brought down by just the complete lack of sense in any action scene. At first I thought it was a little odd but by the end of the movie I was yelling at my TV in vain hope that I could talk some sense into the protagonist! The movie plot was straight forward where the bad guys try and kill the one bad ass main character because he unknowingly came across their evil plan. I enjoyed the movie in between every fighting scene. So so so many times I was yelling for to protagonist to pick up the gun laying at your feet and shoot your attacker! Not once did any of the protagonists feel the urge to pick up any weapon that was practically thrown at their feet. Every single antagonists also felt the urge to use their weapon as a primitive club rather than shooting the main characters. Every time the enemy was vulnerable and 99 percent finished off the protagonist would simply run off into the woods all the while stumbling over the weapons they seemingly don't have a need for. Simply put, too many insanely dumb decisions in otherwise entertaining action scenes. Wish the writing was better. I can't help but imagine this scene unfolding during the filming.
Jason-"So at this point I go ahead and pick up the gun and shoot this guy right?"
Director-"Nah, we need him to fumble around for the next 30 minutes."
Jason-"I at least take his gun right? I mean, i'm standing on the thing and the guy is rolling on the ground in pain completely incapacitated?"
Director-"Hmmmm. Probably not, that guy needs the gun to swing like a club at you later"
Jason-"......"
Or this one.
Jason-"So i'm about to go chase down this main bad guy and you want me to grab some rope? Even though I'm a good 100 yards behind the guy you wan't me to fumble around my shed for some rope? Then stuff it in a bag with a bear trap?"
Director-"Ya totally. Now your getting it Jason."
Jason-"Now you want me to seemingly catch up to the main guy who is running to a nearby cliff for an apparent escape, get ahead of him undetected, then lay this rope out in front on his predictable path and when he conveniently stops near it I go full cowboy and whip it to fling snow in the air 4 feet from me to serve as a distraction from the trained pistol wielding gunman?"
Director-"Jason, why must you keep second guessing my screenplay genius?!?"
DON'T WATCH THIS UNLESS YOU ARE STUPID DRUNK AND LOOKING FOR ACTION LAUGHS