boussourir-87845 Reviews

Arpo: The Robot for All Kids (2012– )

Rage inducing.

[5 August 2022]

I don't know where to start.

A terrible 3d cartoon for kids badly done with ugly characters and deeply annoying sounds.

Every character is ugly. The show is badly lit and animated, the scripts are somewhat bad and unfunny...

But where it really shines at infuriating you is the sound department. Everything is dubbed using stock sounds. The robot is making mumbling vocoder sounds. The baby... my god the baby... always repeating the same stock sounds, the same incessant cackling, the same crying, the same laughing, the same over and over again coming out of his mutated deformed face.

My daughter enjoys this show while that baby is turning her poor father slowly insane.

The Iron Rose (1973)

If you want to look intelligent you can pretend that you like this.

[30 March 2022]

You know what is baffling of Rollin fans? It is that they can't accept that someone who dislikes these movies is not an explosion loving neanderthal. Do they think they are suddenly above the masses because they ignore the obvious flaws of those train wrecks?

Me I am a big Rollin fan. His movies are usually awkward and very funny. This one though, it's a pretentious tedious lazy mess. You will never forget this movie for all the wrong reasons.

La rose de fer is badly acted, badly edited, badly written and badly directed. Sure it has some striking images but it has more to do with the filming location than Rollin's skill. Everything is long, drawn out, tedious and pretentious.

But I hear you Rollin fans telling me how I am a stupid American who never did open a book in my life and how I must love marvel movies for not understanding this unique poetry. Sometimes rambling and randomness is just that. Sometimes an accident is not necessary style. Just like falling down a staircase isn't an avant-gardiste style of walk.

Forgive Us Our Trespasses (I) (2022)

Why?

[21 February 2022]

It's not a bad effort for a short movie.

But seriously if you are going to denounce something the nazis did, do it properly.

Mostly everything in this isn't historical. The t4 operation happened before and early in the war as stated by the short movie, everything is happening in Germany or one of the germanic annexed territories.

Then why is there a jew hiding in a barn?

Why is there talk of resistance?

Why are some SS guys coming in using a halftrack?

Why are the SS even there since they didn't supervise T4?

Why is there indiscriminate shooting?

Why does the short movie say that the T4 aktion is fading from collective memory when it clearly isn't?

Maybe it's because the people who wrote this didn't knew about it and didn't bother too much to learn about it before writing their script.

You don't need to make up stuff with nazi Germany, reality was worst than any made up fiction.

Greyhound (2020)

A game of cat and mouse where the mouse attacks the cat constantly.

[29 September 2021]

It started pretty good but got pretty dumb.

WWII escort duty where submarines start to chase destroyers...

Anybody in the film crew ever read on the subject? It is the other way around. That is what destroyers are for... to destroy submarines.

The German submarines have conning tower insignas that look like satanic metal band logos... completely out of place.

Some German captain keeps taunting the destroyers and howling like a wolf over the radio.... when everybody involved would suddenly know where the submarine surfaced to do that. There was a reason why submarines didn't always use their radios, it revealed their position when they did. It would basically spell a death sentence for that submarine...

... just like surfacing right next to a destroyer would. The movie is trying to make us believe that a surfaced submarine is a match to a destroyer. It would basically result in a sunk submarine very fast.

You know what I don't get here? The first submarine pursuit was pretty believable. That is what it was. Then the movie got really dumb and felt the need to fall into nonsense. "But the movie would be boring otherwise!" Then why do you even do a movie on a subject you think is boring?!

The King (I) (2019)

Not a history lesson.

[31 May 2021]

This doesn't have much to do with the actual events.

And, nope, the battle scene isn't realistic and has not much to do with how it really happened.

But it's well made and well acted. Enjoyable if you don't know the actual history.

Sobibor (2018)

Russian cinema, From Come and See to this.

[13 May 2021]

***A lot of tearful idiots enjoy this movie simply because it is supposedly an holocaust movie. As if cheering for bad movies that depicts horrible hate crimes makes you a better person. And as if not liking this would make you a holocaust denier. Yes it happened. But almost nothing depicted in that movie happened the way it did.***

Back in the good old soviet days (1985), the Russians made one of the greatest movies about war and nazi atrocities. This was Come and See. A haunting movie with brutal imagery that despite being incredibly traumatizing managed to stay pretty historical.

In 2018 they made this movie. Which is the complete opposite.

This movie deals with the Sobibor revolt. There was a movie in 1987 called Escape from Sobibor that dealt with the same events. Except that the 87 movie is pretty much spot on and this one is complete fiction and garbage.

Christophe Lambert plays Frenzel, an SS officer. He looks old and decrepit and a bit like Boris Karloff in the mummy. The real Frenzel was 32 and had a baby face. In fact all camp SS were pretty young. His acting is cringe worthy and some nonsensical scenes are inserted so that we all understand how evil he is... as if supervising the killing of whole families wasn't evil enough. For those who saw the movie... remember "MEIN VATER MEIN VATER!!!"

At the beginning of the movie we see a voyeuristic gassing of naked women, for shock factor I guess. No research was ever done on the subject, nothing is close to how it happened in this camp. In fact the whole camp looks like a factory, the real one was a couple of houses in a wooded area with large pyres next to a gas chamber hidden in the woods with a path leading to it. Prisoners had to undress in a building then they came out on a path and walked a few meters outside and entered a small building posing as showers, a VERY SMALL building. They diesel engines were started and people died from the exhaust fumes, nothing like that half assed movie showed.

There is a drunken SS party, which eats up time that could be spent telling the real story of the camp. Someone gets burned alive using cognac as fuel... which is completely impossible.

Quite simply, the way everybody behaves in this movie is insulting to the victims of the real events. The whole movie's purpose is to enhance the manlyhood of the main russian prisonner, to show how badass and manly he is. This unfortunately seems to be a general trend in modern russian war movies. Is this due to this country's tendency to slowly drift toward fascism and the associated macho cult that goes hand in hand with it?

If this is the case, how terribly ironic.

Stick with the 1987 movie.

Centigrade (2020)

15 days stuck in a car, the sequel of 1 month trapped in the bathroom.

[9 March 2021]

Basically two morons stuck inside a car for WEEKS because they decided to sleep in their car in a snowstorm. Why? because it's freezing outside. Yet they do not freeze to death after literally 15 days or so.... without any food...

At some point they spill their water bottle... the cretinous husband suddenly despairs... they lost their water.... buried in snow... which basically is water. But they don't seem to have any food or oxygen... this doesn't bother them too much.

They have 4 candles for heat... which burn very slowly during those weeks.

At some point a baby is born... because it had to happen... without too much problem, mess or complications... baby doesn't seem to need diapers, warmth or food either. The major problem with baby is that it makes noises...

Husband dies at some point, without any warning. Probably got bored. We don't really know why... I dare you to care about his death, I know I didn't.

So yeah... an incredibly stupid movie made by someone who never lived a day in even the warmest winter or never gave or witnessed birth... or never saw frozen water... someone with a very limited set of life experiences...

Oscar winner for stupid story taking itself very seriously.

Ah yeah, it made about 6500$ first weekend when it opened. That's still too much.

I can't stop writing. Hands down the stupidest movie of the last 2 years. I am completely mesmerized.

What else is left to say? Don't watch this I guess.

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

At first I did write a negative review.

[17 February 2021]

So as with most of the negative reviews here I got really annoyed by the idiotic narcissistic knuckle draggers that call themselves internet sleuths.

You will want to stop watching this, I guarantee it. But this is my advice: Stick with it.

At some point you see those people for who they really are and the documentary doesn't sugar coat anything about it.

I would say that the documentary is more about the crazies surrounding the disappearance than the disappearance itself.

In any case, if you stick with it it's actually pretty decent. If you understandably succumb in the first episode, you'll hate it. But bear with it, it gets better.

All Hallows' Eve (2013)

The clown looks incredible.

[18 October 2019]

That's it. That's the only positive thing.

Everything is terrible, nothing is well done. It's tacky and it looks like a 100$ movie.

And is it scary? No. Unless you feel tormented looking at halloween costumes at the dollar store because that's how everything looks... like it came out of a cheap halloween party store.

It's badly lit, it feels like a cheap soap, it's badly shot, badly cut, sounds are terrible, music is terrible and acting is terrible.

T-34 (2018)

Astroturf reviews gallore.

[15 October 2019]

Horrible propaganda movie glorifying war.

Untersturmfuehrer you will train the super tank soldiers battallion, the HITLER YOUTH battallion..........

This prisonner (arriving at death camp) refuses to say his name or rank and has tried to escape 11 times (and stares at you like a creepy viril fashion model), let's let him live and PUT HIM IN A TANK...

And the movie is filled to the brim with this kind of utterly moronic scripting, dialog, bad acting and kitschy slow motion cg.

Oh and anybody saying that anything depicted in this insulting Kino is remotely accurate or historical obviously never opened a book on the subject and probably thinks world of tank is military training.

Tormented (2014)

Terrible garbage.

[4 October 2019]

Horrible, not even funny, lazy, boring, terrible, avoid.

Enough said.

Love, Death & Robots (2019– )

Great animation, terrible scripts.

[8 April 2019]

Since it's an anthology some episodes are very good, some are very bad. Mixed bag overall.

Since it tries a lot to be original and it's not a rehash of stuff we already know it deserves more than just 5. There are truly original ideas in there even if story wise they are often very poorly executed and shallow.

Since technically the animations are very nice and well executed, again it deserves points for this.

But the stories, the scripts, the ideas, oh my god, that's where it falls flat. This stuff looks like it was written by angry virgin stoners. I have no problems with stories that are unrealistic or even stupid when they are self aware, here it tries to pass as something brilliant most of the time but it's either pretty dumb or predictable.

Some things are there just for shock value. For instance useless nudity and violence. Again I have no problem with that as long as it is justified or self aware.

Some stuff is just plain dumb... like an astronaut ripping her arm out to throw it away to get momentum to get back to a satellite that she was repairing. Didn't she have tools that she could use for that? Wouldn't removing her glove decompress her suit and send her further into space?

Another one is about chinese steam punk victims of racism. Evil colonial english men only want to treat badly a chinese woman and rape her for the whole animation segment... Yet the animation itself draws the girl and boy without any chinese traits as if they needed to look caucasian to be appealing and show the female character in full frontal nudity every occasion it gets. Hypocritical anyone?

Other segments are very simplistic and the story could be resumed as "people fight stuff in X context".

So should you watch it? Yes! It's very well done and original and tries stuff! But at the same time it is poorly written and stupid at times.

Does it deserves a 9? Noooooo hell.... No way Jose. If it does then transformers does too.

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Utter garbage.

[5 March 2018]

Nonsensical utter garbage in space. The people behind this story should be forbidden to go near a keyboard because a plot like this is borderline criminal.