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I Care a Lot (2020)
1st half is great then it takes a nosedive
The main character is a greedy, clever/conniving, scam artist with a similar sidekick. They are both easy to hate and profiting off the elderly. Interesting start!
They scam the wrong lady and cross paths with a violent/mob-oriented criminal. Ooh, now they will get what they deserve! Right? Well...long story short, the main character kills all tension by being completely unafraid of death. And when evil faces evil you have a few choices...one side wins, both sides kill each other, or neither side wins. This move takes the "neither side wins and they become friends" approach - which would make sense if both were likeable heroes, yet they're the exact opposite of that! Bleh.
So this movie sets the main character - and her sidekick - up to be killed. If the plot had guts it would have followed through. But NO, as soon as she awakened in a car driving into a lake I feared the movie was going bad. It sure did! She manages to swim out of a submerged car by kicking out the window?! Has anyone tried kicking anything while under water?? You can generate hardly any force, try doing that upside down while drowning. And has anyone tried exerting themselves while holding their breath?! It crushes your ability to hold your breath, so this took me out of the movie completely.
Ok fine, male action heroes do similarly incredible things so - even though she isn't likeable - I'll try to give it a pass. She gets free impossibly and then goes to visit her sidekick. Now the sidekick will be dead giving her a revenge plot and maybe some sympathy?! Nope, she manages to save the sidekick too. UGH. Just stop watching now.
What will follow is more illogical moments than I can recall. A giant parking lot which the main character can enter and find a random car in effortlessly, a taser that works through clothes, and the "bad girl" lesbian "hero" team taking down a hardened criminal thug/group with I guess their wits, tranquilizing drugs, and a lot of unbelievable happenings? Does it even matter who dies at the end? Nope.
I'd give the first half of this movie 4 stars and the rest zero stars.
Diablo (2015)
A Bold New Western
I'm going to go out of my way here to write a review that doesn't spoil anything about this movie but still tries to convey why I enjoyed it. When I saw the initial storyline I thought "oh, another movie/western with a 'save the lady in distress' plot..." but I gave it a chance because it was well regarded and had a young Eastwood. I went in with no real expectations, sat back and soaked it in. I'm glad I did.
The scenery is impressive, the acting is solid, and the effects are overall appropriate (the "right amount" of blood from gunshot wounds). The musical score is also well-placed and varies. There are plenty of details which may seem illogical upon scrutiny, and usually this bothers me, but here it did not because of the bold direction this movie took. I have enjoyed many Westerns ("Once Upon A Time In The West" being my favorite) yet this one is quite unique, and that truly makes it worth watching. Check it out!
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
A classic that gets better with age
With a remake of Conan in the news I found myself needing to re-watch the original. Would it still hold up after a decade plus? The answer is yes, even better than I recall. The artistry (implying a beheading instead of showing it, with excellent musical score and even quality child acting) is unheard of in modern cinema. The musical score is incredibly appropriate for this film and really sets the bar to be matched for any sort of sword & sorcery movie. If one were to purchase a Conan replica sword and heft it there is no doubt the main theme would be running through you head when doing so!
Regarding the acting, costumes, set pieces, etc - it seems to fit the film well and carries a certain charm that has stood the test of time. My biggest gripe with Arnold is the odd grunts of pain that Conan makes constantly during the pit fighting scene and a couple other times in the film. Fortunately this role didn't have a lot of dialog but did require a massive/imposing individual - which a Mr. Olympia can fill nicely. There is a lot to like in this movie even decades later and it now acts as a poster child for the power of a musical score to elevate a film to greatness. 8 Stars, five of which come from the soundtrack alone.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Decent but clearly inferior to the original
The good: special effects are generally good, overkill on the blood packs (a hammer blow apparently causes significant blood loss) which is fine for a Conan movie, really nicely created enemies ("sand people", the octopus monster). This Conan doesn't make ridiculous sounds to signify pain as Arnold did in the original (see 1980s pit fighting scene).
The bad: acting is laughable at times. Conan is not as muscular as Arnold's Conan of the 1980s and there is something to be said for the physical massiveness in a role like this. A barbarian is apparently capable of lining up a miracle shot with a catapult, can slay five *armed* adults when only a child, and so forth...it's fine that he's exceptional but overdoing it is a common mistake in modern hero films.
The original Conan The Barbarian had more artistry (knowing when to show a beheading versus implying one), a vastly better musical score, and excellent costumes/settings. Both movies had some awkward deaths by stunt doubles or extras which could have been done better, this is less excusable in a modern film. Both movies display a wide mix of acting chops but the original is superior here as well. I'd only recommend this newer Conan if for some reason you absolutely cannot find a remastered copy of the 1980s version and you cannot stand older special effects
otherwise it's the original all the way.
Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Disappointing
CONS: As other reviewers have already noted the script is on the weak side, the acting is so-so, and the Hollywood take on what would have been a great story (if told accurately) - is a waste. The pacing suffers as well with most of the movie feeling very slow.
I get the feeling the story was warped to make a strong female lead seem to single-handedly drive the takedown of Bin Laden. However I remember numerous reports which said the intel and the compound were known and observed during the Bush presidency...while the movie implies it was discovered just before the raid occurs. This, and the strong single woman stereotype driving the show while nearly averting assassination and never wavering from her convictions (which happen to be 100% correct) - wears a bit thin.
PROS: The production elements are excellent and it feels like a well polished bit of cinema. The locations, the clothing, the sound and visual effects - all seem well selected.
The compound raid is far and away the most interesting part of the movie. If you wondered what it might have looked like, Hollywood's take here seems fairly accurate - based on the information that has been leaked to the public of course.
I cannot recommend this film, it's just too slow and historically inaccurate. If you want to change history fine, just make sure the end result is a more exciting or interesting movie! However, for a visual of the compound raid alone you may want to watch it. Just save yourself the trouble and skip to the 2 hour and 4 minute mark as the raid will be just beginning in earnest.
The Selling (2011)
Keep Your Expectations Low
Blending comedy with light horror is not often done well. Beetlejuice, Death Becomes Her, and Gremlins come to mind, but don't get your hopes up that this will deliver those sorts of special effects, acting chops, or funny moments. While this film made a good effort it is fairly predictable and solidly aimed to the younger crowd...which is fine except it's likely to scare them more than it amuses.
The bottom line: there are simply not enough funny parts. If you think you'll like this, just rent Beetlejuice again...a 1998 movie that is still the best of it's kind even as 2013 approaches. Perhaps it's not fair to compare a b-movie film to older blockbusters, but at the end of day this genre seems to have timeless jokes - so you might as well go with the best ones rather than the most current.
Inception (2010)
A bit disappointing
The effects were excellent, but all the best ones were in the trailer. Without going into spoiler mode I'll just say I expected the effects to have more meaning than they did and I expected them to be used better. The acting was good, the plot understandable in a single viewing if you pay attention but it seems like it's trying too hard to be complex/dynamic/intricate. It may make you laugh out loud at how silly some of the logic is as it twists upon itself and changes but again I won't go into specifics - you'll see. Worth a download? Sure, you might love it as many seem to (over 9 score at this time)...that or someone figured out how to game the IMDb rating system.
Redbelt (2008)
Entertaining, but the ending disappoints
I really enjoyed the story and the action - but I am confused by a few things (which if you haven't seen the movie you probably shouldn't read).
First, the whole situation where the window is shot out near the beginning is just odd...who leaves a gun laying around and then blames a woman for using it when she is being grabbed by a stranger? That seemed silly/contrived. But no big deal, I would still have rated the movie an 8 or so...except the real confusion comes at the end of the movie. Here I see too many logic leaps to comprehend - if a fighter leaves a tournament and then is seen fighting cops and other fighters OUTSIDE the ring...why do you turn a camera on this action? Because one of the talking heads points over there? Everyone just assumes the fighter is acting towards a noble end but the cops are NOT!? That made no sense. Then the main character supposedly wants to get to the ring to explain the fights are all a fix...a move which would have caused any fight crowd to boo him out of the building - but he doesn't even do that because he's presented the belts...by even MORE people who must have assumed/known he was pursuing some noble cause to go rewarding him for fighting his way through the police/security. How they knew this, I have no idea... And why is his mentor toting around a red belt? Just in case he finds some fighter at a cash tournament worthy of giving the top belt to?
I suspect the original script explained a LOT more, and might have had a different ending. Seemed like a lot was missing and the movie became impossible to follow or believe. This could make a decent rental though, especially if you can make sense of the ending.