jayboutilier Reviews

Slither (2006)

decent but it rehashes everything you've ever seen before

[5/10 · 12 April 2006]

before i say anything about this movie i would like to note that this is my opinion, watch the movie and find out exactly how you feel about it, i won't say ignore everyone else and listen to me or anything of the kind but what i will is as follows... i seen a trailer for this in mid winter and instantly wanted to see it, so i did last week, and was underwhelmed to say the least. it was comical and a few decent scenes of gore, but the thing that bothered me was that it wasn't all that original, it did have a few new things but blink and you'll miss it. the story starts with a meteor shower, we meet grant Grant and his wife, after her turning him down fir sex, he goes out and meets a friend of hers, they go into the woods and he he sees something and naturally pokes at it and it spits a stick at him... pretty much after that, he starts to become weird and deformed until he looks like well a monster. he then impregnates the friend of his wife with slugs...so the first half is like any other alien movie then it becomes any other slimy creature movie then descends into a zombie movie because the slugs jump into your mouth, then it becomes the body snatchers with the exact ending (you must kill the original it wasn't a bad movie and it wasn't a good movie it just was an OK movie...in my opinion

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

whose the market audience for a movie like this?

[5/10 · 27 March 2006]

i've been hearing about this movie for a long time so i decided to check it out, it's the disturbing tale of 4 new york film makers who are trying to make a movie by exploiting the natives in a jungle where 2 cannibalistic tribes live. a scientist guy who found it is trying to discover what happened to them and stop a company from airing it on TV. That's the basis for this hard core gore film, apparently all the scenes in which animals are killed were real, and the human murders were pretty damn realistic too. however, after viewing, a turtle getting beheaded and gutted, a young pregnant native getting the fetus ripped out then bashed on the head with a rock, a women being raped with a rock, a young female native being raped by Americans and then seeing what they did to her afterward, impaling her on a spike through the back of her head coming out of her mouth. i'm extremely glad for what happened to those arrogant Americans but i have come to a conclusion, this is just an excuse for extreme gore...the story is irrelevant...one more thing i have been thinking is who is this film marketed to? not a lot of people

Domino (2005)

incoherent, boring and and it made me angry...in others words i hate this movie

[1/10 · 22 March 2006]

supposedly based on the life of Domino Harvey a model turned bounty hunter. I'd say 95 % is fabricated. I always keep an open mind when it comes to movies, however, this movie lost its chances when it became apparent it had narration throughout the film, something i can't stand, and to top it off, the heroine of the story is so hateful and depicted as an arrogant b!ch I just wanted it to end with her being shot in the head. it's too incoherent, too flashy and way too boring, it's a who gives a crap kinda story, and i really think that big time directors need to make movies based on their own or a writer's own imagination not something based on some ignorant snobby brat's life.

Final Destination 3 (2006)

This just in...Final destination 3 is a rehash of the first movie and a bad one at that

[1/10 · 1 March 2006]

I remember when the first Final destination came out, it was original and pretty damn cool. Then the second one came out, it was wicked, ten times better and better deaths and even a conclusive ending... then came word of a 3rd final destination, i couldn't wait to see it, but when i did, I wish I had't...it was a waste of time. now, I don't expect too much from this kind of movie, however, I'd like to see more than a cut down almost gore less remake of the first movie. whoever said this movie had cool deaths and good gore to me was lying. I've seen way better, The movie is pretty much a tired excuse for lame gore. there was absolutely nothing else to this, main character rushes to save the next victim and watches them die somehow. Now I might have been able to accept those flaws if the ending wasn't so utterly pointless and stupid. pretty much the ending tells you "you just wasted your money, because if you can't escape death, you won't", thus meaning you already knows what happens to every character that was suppose to die.... that's right they die. this movie is just about the details of their deaths and they're not the greatest details either... This movie did not need to be made, rent the first two instead, then watch the first one again but fast forward all the character development scenes and the cop scenes and the scenes in the cemetery..in fact just watch the premonition scene then watch the deaths.... that's equivalent of final destination 3, oh and add your own crappy ending.

Doom (2005)

judge it for yourself

[8/10 · 1 March 2006]

the critics gave this a bad rap, not everyone likes the same thing. before i go on please be aware that this is my opinion, the only one that counts for me. I don't care for trailers anymore because they ruin the movies anyway. I liked this movie it was entertaining, I had fun and it was cool to see the rock play something different. It's not award worthy but that's a good thing. it's not perfect but it is what it is and it was good. so don't take my word for it, go see it so you can judge it for yourself, you may hate it or you may love it, it all depends on your own opinion. not mine. it's based on the game, one i have not played. the story is standard for this type of movie. dudes with guns are called in to kill zombies / monsters created at a lab. chaos ensues...

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

Forget everything you know about Kung fu films because Stephen Chow has rewritten the rules and made it 100 times better

[10/10 · 1 March 2006]

If you see this movie without knowing anything about it, you may be thinking..."what was this guy on when he wrote it?" however, even if you know the whole story around it before seeing it, you will be probably asking the same question. the fact is, he wasn't on anything, he thought out of the box and rewrote the cliché rules of the kung fu genre. you really shouldn't think of this as a comedy, it is full out kung fu action film with it's tongue firmly in it's cheek. it is utterly hilarious and yet so breathtaking that it's almost an art film. the plot is simple, a young man who wants to be evil starts a feud inadvertently between the reknown and dangerous Axe gang and the poor district of pig sty ally. however, without really knowing it, the Axe gang has their hands full with the residents because they are more skilled than they are... this movie is beautifully shot and the music hits the right notes, it leaves you feeling accomplished at the end, a feeling no movie has given me lately. many critics have been saying this is looney tunes meet Quentin Tarantno...you can't do that because this surpasses all of their work by 100 %.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

this crap at it's worst

[1/10 · 5 December 2005]

I watched this the day me a few friends decided to go camping in the woods. i guess they thought it would scare me. no, honestly it bored me. i have and always will hate documentaries that want to be something that it will never amount to be. Horror movie? no, mock documentary about people with way too much time on their hands... yes OK, i admit, they didn't have much to work with, my suggestion is that if you don't have the money to make it then don't. they could have made something a little bit better, anything but this useless and moronic piece of boredom. it was original which is a plus, but it never goes anywhere with that except weird formations on the ground. don't waste your time on the sequel either, it may have a bigger budget, but it also has a huge cheese factor and the whole "this movie makes no sense" syndrome. if you want to watch a truly scary movie about camping then i suggest, Wrong Turn. it may not be exactly about camping but it does take place in the woods and it actually is very intense, something this movie lacks.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

one of the best and funniest zombie movies ever, think coronation street... with zombies

[10/10 · 5 December 2005]

Shaun is an everyday slob who when we first meet him is having a "serious discussion" with his girlfriend about their relationship among her two friends and his drunk oaf of a pal. as this film progresses Shaun realizes his downfall with her and must get her back...after the zombies get there of course... what a perfect idea for a horror movie, this is British comedy at it's finest. the beginning of the movie is Shaun's humdrum existence, living with three friends and working at a dead end job. trying to get along with his step dad. Then as his day progresses there are subtle hints that some kind of illness is going around, something deadly indeed. in fact, when Shaun and his pal "Ed" first see one of the infected, they just think she's drunk and then impale her... and that's when the horror movie begins and yet it's still so funny. this movie will be forever known as the funniest zombie movie ever made (unless of course you prefer dead alive, which i do not) it makes me think of Coronation Street every time i watch it, that is a messed up Halloween edition. i think no one could have pulled off this movie better than the Brits. if Americans had their way with this, Shaun would be an advertising exec, with a model girlfriend and a hunk best pal, who encounter zombies but in a mainstream commercial way, which i think wouldn't work, in fact, i don't Americans could ever top this kind of film in general, but that's another topic. all in all, this movie will rock your boat and then some.

Creep (I) (2004)

claustrophobic horror at it's best

[9/10 · 5 December 2005]

I don't quite remember how i got to see this but I do know it was worth it. at first, it seems like any run of the mill messed up horror flick, but then it decides to be different. Franks Potenta delivers a nice performance as a reporter stuck in a subway station doing what she can do get out. the one true thing that i admired about this film is that when characters do really stupid things there is usually a reason. (for instance, in jeepers creepers, the young man decides to go down the pipe just for the hell of it, and that is dumb. but in this movie and a man who is now fully stoned on coke wants revenge on the blood thirsty creep, of course we all know he can't take him but he doesn't care because he's stoned... and i think that's something i've never seen in a movie like this. I also don't think this should be called a horror movie, generally horror movies today are anything but scary and that's what they're supposed to be. This movie is really demented and gruesome but it didn't scare me in the least. However, this movie is totally insane with it's disgusting looking subway creature and what he plans to do, another plus with this movie, in my opinion is that it doesn't tell you anything upfront about what this creature is and why he is doing this, there are clues that are given and if you're lucky you may catch them. generally speaking though, this movie is entertaining and disturbing and what's not to like about that?

Santa's Slay (2005)

Santa's slay creates new genre... Demented Christmas Flick

[8/10 · 5 December 2005]

I saw this movie on Spike TV and i can't wait to see the DVD, I don't really consider this a horror movie or a comedy. i would put this under Demented Christmas movies (Black Christmas, silent night, deadly night) the whole concept is original and very morbid. Goldberg as Santa, i wasn't sure if he could pull it off but he's very menacing as the son of Satan. i was also impressed by the number of famous people in this movie, James Caan, Chris Kataan, Fran Drescher. i mean they're not in it long but that made it more screwed up in a way. the only reason i gave it 8 is because i believe the DVD will be way more entertaining if not more violent. overall though, this movie was messed up and humorous. that's all that really counts in my books...