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larryallred
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Wyatt Earp's Revenge (2012)
Read this review last!
I get such a kick out of reading reviews. You get the usual "no redeeming value", the "high and mighty reviewer" , those who seem to be paid to gush over a film... In this case even the synopsis was so misspelled and worded I could barely understand who and what. Some couldn't believe parts of the story and one said it's "true" so you can rest assured it's all real. And of course it has Val Kilmer, soooo... what could I do but watch and report!
It would have helped if they'd introduced the characters. Immediately there's a murderer, a guy oogling at an actress, two guys in the street trying to assassinate a mayor for who knows what, a dead girl in someone else's bed, actors strutting, reciting lines but you don't know who anyone is, except "Old Wyatt" who is telling the story. Eventually you figure out who's who and it gets better.
The easiest way to sum up the movie, think Hallmark. Add a smidge more violence, meanness, blood to the made-for-tv look, simplified story with a few contrived scenes.
It's ok it wasn't Russell or Costner. I didn't have to be glued to my seat. I'm not all antsy about whether it'll be picked for an Oscar. Was it a 1 or a 9? Get real!! It was a nice piece of history, interesting story, made me think.... and by gosh, it even had Val Kilmer! It was a pleasant evening's watch I won't regret, but probably won't repeat.
Apparition (2019)
12 minutes...
It was advertised as a ghost story set in a castle. In the first 12 minutes a mother abuses her children. She gets stabbed, they get sent to a reform school where one is beat up and mutilated by guards, and a woman gets verbally abused for trying to comfort him. In 12 MINUTES!! Whoever wrote and directed this movie, and those who funded it, need to be sent to that reform school for serious adjustment.
Wrath of Man (2021)
To Statham or not to Statham?
My posts often deal with the reviewers more than the movie. To be honest I haven't seen this one yet, just had a really interesting time reading opinions here.
When you think about a Statham movie, what do you expect? A script honed and delivered like no other? The plot fascinating, building straight to the end with absolutely no holes? Totally believable characters who are fleshed out and vetted? A hero who stands above the rest? Naaaahhhhh........ You expect a moody, quiet, flawed man who has a snarky attitude and somehow gets pushed into letting out his impossibly well-trained side. You want to see a "whoopin'." Guns firing, bones breaking, justice measured out way over the "full" mark. All done by one of the guys at work, or who lives down the street.
Are you hoping to find classic literature, multiple Oscar categories, an ending which ties everything up neatly with a bow and sends you home in bunny slippers and a case of the warm fuzzies? Jason is a smart man. He knows what his fans want and always delivers. Most of us have inner demons hiding. It can be refreshing to see someone else let theirs loose for a good cause. That's a Statham movie.
Toof (2019)
Ummmmm.....
If you're like me sometimes a review meant to push away makes me want to watch it more. They'll go on and on about what happens, why, who, blah blah blah.
Here's all my advice... Don't. Just don't watch it. You'll seriously wish you had listened to me! :)
Shot in the Dark (2017)
And another thing.......
Lots of good comments here, expressed better than I could. I enjoy the show, except for one thing. Scott. I get it that TV is more compelling when there's conflict and he fits that bill to a T. Every so often I hurl an epithet at my screen over what he does or says. But tonight did it for me... he claims it's all about family. In this episode he announced that he's having a baby. He was asked how it will affect his life, will he settle down, be a dad, take fewer risks. He said nope. "We have an arrangement. She takes care of everything and I work." When a man chooses work, or anything else, as more important than being a dad he becomes nothing more than just another absent, deadbeat father. No child deserves that, and no wife should be treated that way.
Chaplin (1992)
It's Chaplin, for Crying Out Loud!
The bottom line here, before the review, is that Chaplin and Downey have both made magic by themselves and together. Does it really matter what tiny faux pas Attenborough may have made here or there, which of us have more knowledge of the film industry, Chaplin's life, politics? Reviewers, myself included, sometimes do a service for others, and sometimes a service for ourselves at the expense of a film.
Once in awhile we need to stop watching a movie with a critical eye. Get immersed in it. Let the Barry score fill our hearts, the setting, costumes, camera work, performances become reality and the actor morph into the actual complex genius being portrayed. Get off the sofa and step through the screen so we can be with him in his pain as well as his triumphs. Experience what he does. Feel what he feels. Understand him, and ourselves better.
2 hours in a faraway place can be a nice break. It can also change our lives. The actual world will still be waiting for us, but maybe a hint of the magic will linger, sweeten the taste, lighten the load.
Watch Chaplin. Let it wash over you. Then see if you don't feel better for the experience. If not, go back to whining and hyperfenating about how movies are made for birdcage liners and self aggrandizing soap boxes.
Flight 7500 (2014)
All About the Entertainment
Sometimes a movie comes along that has real entertainment value, just not onscreen... it's found in the reviews about the movie on IMDB! I love reading them. Look up ANY film, from Citizen Kane to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Good or bad, doesn't matter. You'll find a fascinating mix of folks who hated it, loved it, want to tell us how smart they are, get all philosophical. There are always some who should have listened more in school or been held back a few grades. There's inevitably at least one guy who felt compelled to register for IMDB just to comment on "this one movie." Don't get me wrong, I love the movies and this one has Amy Smart! Just don't forget to enjoy the after-party! :)
Swing Low (2019)
Imagine...
Imagine Jon Voight. After all he and his friends had been through in Deliverance... the last perpetrator is up on a cliff waiting to take the final shot. Our star faces his fears of heights, violence, killing, take's Burt's bow and makes a nail biting ascent to the top. There they both lock eyes and take aim. Suddenly director John Boorman (apologies to Mr. Boorman) haphazardly decides he's not interested in the project anymore. Voight slips on something, presumably a cowpie, and falls headlong over the cliff. We don't see him fall, never hear him scream or land on the rocks below. The hillbilly smiles a big, toothless grin and dances to the forest where he's joined by Ned Beatty, who didn't actually die earlier, just switched teams. And in the nightmare no one's hand rises up out of the water. Come to think of it, there isn't a nightmare sequence. No one cares, the end credits have long since rolled. The cast are in a sleazy bar drinking away the nasty taste this job left in their mouths and praying that one, EVER, watches their movie.
The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch (2020)
My head hurts and I'm not even on the ranch!
I wanted to like this. I really did. The thought of watching intelligent experts working to explain interesting phenomena in a storied place and perhaps getting real answers.
Travis keeps saying "this doesn't add up" and he's right. He missed his best shot at that 1st episode meeting. The one where "Dragon" demanded no one dig and the rest whimpered in agreement. Travis could have stopped right there, said they hired him to investigate but refused to let him and walked out. He didn't. I had my shot too... I should have changed the channel... but I didn't.
Hey, I'm gullible sometimes. I happen to like Oak Island. Yes, I've yelled at the screen a lot, felt like all those hours watching were wasted. The saving grace has nothing to do with cheesy dialogue, dumb choices, canned script, never finding more than little teases. It's the characters. How they feel about each other, their sincerity, their little quirks. It's entertaining. Skinwalker has none of that. Not only is there nothing that makes you like the "actors" there's plenty that would encourage you to avoid a couple of them at any cost. "We shouldn't launch any more model rockets because, look, the cattle are all in the corner over there." Uh huh...
Mars: One Day on the Red Planet (2020)
1 out of 3
I'm a sucker for space science. I can get past the misleading ads and bait and switch plotlines as long as it looks cool and I learn something. There are two things that ruined this one for me.
One of the most important parts of any documentary is the narrator. I mean no disrespect to the fellow. I'm sure there's a good place for one who tries too hard to make the voice sound deeper, enunciates more harshly to make it seem more exciting and drones on so much that it takes away from the incredible imagery and discoveries.
Then the "trend"... it started with America's Dumbest Criminals and has become a huge part of everything else. To break up a boring show add clips of people giving insight or opinion. They could be experts, wing-nuts, folks who have little or nothing to do with the program at all. Granted once in awhile there's a gem, a cute face, a tidbit of some sort, but a skillfully written and narrated documentary should hold your interest without having to resort to the latest tricks.
Halfway through I started looking at my watch and taking breaks. Just before the end I turned off the sound. Those images are what I came for anyway, and they were great!
Acts of Violence (2018)
Reading reviews can be as entertaining as watching the movie
I have to wonder what goes on in some people's minds. I keep reading that this is the "worst movie ever" and "I only signed up so I could....." First, this is not "The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or "Rubber" so folks who think this is the worst there is may not have seen enough movies. Then look at the cast. If a movie has an actor named Hauser it's GOING to be a B movie. If you're offended by low budgets, loose scripts, cheesy acting, poor editing, I'd stick with the A list. If you can watch 90 minutes of mindless action and be entertained give Acts of Violence a try. It's not a classic by any means but there are certainly a lot worse.
Bushwick (2017)
Can I get my 90 minutes back?
I like Dave Bautista, and Brittany Snow has been fun in a couple of movies, so I thought... hey... this might be good. Nope.
Brittany can't stop talking. The annoying chatter only adds to her shallow, self-centered character. Thanks to "inspired directing" Dave
is reduced to moping around, head down, mumbling. An hour and a half's worth of disjointed editing and we discover the big ruse... Texas gets the south to fight for independence by sending troops to New York, unaware that the locals might not be willing to roll over and play dead. And the only thing more grating than Brittany's dialogue is the morbidly looped video game wannabe soundtrack.
I kept hoping for an ending of some kind, maybe worthy of the old disaster movies, where love is found, right prevails or at least Maureen McGovern sings about finding a morning after. Here Dave dies without a hero's farewell. In the final scene Brittany is shot. The camera does a closeup of her lifeless body, but her chest is still heaving. She's out of breath from doing the stunt. And we're cheated once again. It would have been a tiny bit satisfying to see the shot that ended such an unsympathetic character.