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What the Health (2017)
Nothing could be further from the true.
This film make multiple claims at mutiple times during this film that going vegan for two weeks can cure any disease. To put this film to the test i went vegan for two weeks. I can say with out a doubt not only did this not cure me of anything. I never felt worse in my life. This film is nothing but absolute BS propaganda. This is nothing against anyone who chose to go vegan that is your choice. But the claims this film tries to make are just clearly BS. It not even funny how much this film lies to its views. It is absolutely disgusting how much this film tries to lie to its viewers and not even in a convincing way.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
How to make a movie not funny.
A movie that is suppose to be a parody does not have single funny scene. It is also a movie that keeps get unfunnier every year because of how the movie only attempts at any type of humor comes from pop cultural reverences. Hey, guys, when you repurpose a disco hit to poke fun at gay men, not only do you look like pieces of garbage. You look like pieces of garbage who rip their jokes off of YouTube. Meet The Spartans gamely alternates between unfunny gay jokes and violent pratfalls for a good 80 minutes, finding time for not one, but two musical dance numbers set to "I Will Survive." At the end of the day. The film is a Witless, tasteless, formless spoof.
Leonard Part 6 (1987)
I do not think a movie could be more unfunny.
I do not think a movie could be more unfunny. I don't even care if that is proper grammer because this movie does not deserver anything proper. The only good thing about Bill Cosby's "Leonard Part 6" is that we didn't have to see Parts 1 through 5. The title which is not even a joke just might be the best joke of the entire film. Anything would help the movie. Yet nothing ever does come to even kind of save this film. If you can even call it a film. A repugnant idea that makes Leonard Part 6 doubtful if geared for a child audience, the only ones capable of tolerating its bloody stupidity. A movie this bad should be handled with Teflon gloves and a pair of tongs.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
What where they thinking?
At no point does money seem even savable. Nowhere in this film do you see a film that be save or could be made into something watchable. Scientology or not, the movie is a battlefield bummer that makes you want to revolt. So heavy and lifeless that you keep waiting for those three little front-row kibitzers from "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" to appear at the bottom of the screen to start goofing on it. In the pantheon of cinematic train wrecks, from "Ishtar" to "Waterworld," set a place at the table for Battlefield Earth. The only danger in seeing this film is in busting a gut at its unintentional hilarity.
Spy Hard (1996)
Incredibly Unfunny.
The film is never funny not in one single scene. Rick Friedberg's klutzy directing becomes annoyingly monotonous. Director Rick Friedberg has crafted a dreadfully unfunny comedy that takes Naked Gun-like sketches and rehashes them without a whit of style or energy. Instead of building sustained comic set pieces, it takes a machine-gun approach to humor. Without looking at where it's aiming, it opens fire and sprays comic bullets in all directions, trusting that a few will hit the bull's-eye. Non of which do. The best bits if you can call them that came in the first few minutes -- or maybe the jokes just seem fresher then.
The Canyons (2013)
The films shows how far a star can actually fall in life.
Lidnsey Lohan oh what has happened to you and where has that talent gone. Lohan now is make soft core porn with porn stars. A film that instead of commenting on the vapidity of the film industry, Paul Schrader's miscast, poorly executed and utterly soulless drama is an example of the failing art form it seeks to indict. Though it has real ideas, Schrader and his team never manage to put them into action. Lohan has been atrociously directed, allowed to get away with the worst aspects of her vocal-fry laziness, and trotted out like a symbolic objet d'art. Paul Schrader and Brett Easton Ellis don't have the sense of play this kind of narrative of one-upmanship requires, as we're never allowed to enjoy the characters' misdeeds.
Movie 43 (2013)
Just Awful and incredibly unfunny.
This film drags even one in down to the gutter with it. The film has plenty of stars and this film will be the performance each one of them is most embarrassed by. As sick-making sketch comedies go, this stupefyingly bad one-somehow rife with A-list talent-must rank near the very bottom. The sketches aren't united by a half-ignored framing device, so much as by an enduring fascination with bodily functions. Movie 43 is the most star-studded collection of jokes involving menstruation, flatulence, incest, bestiality, Snooki, and nutsacks ever assembled, but the stars don't elevate the material-they just descend to its level. This is barely a movie at all if your really interested just look up the best, if you can call them that, sketches online.
Supergirl (1984)
Shows how important a script is and this one is just plain awful.
Got talent on the screen and good budget to make scene work. Yet this film script is just so awful. From start to finish, the script is awful. Slater (Supergirl) is stuck in a clumsy, silly film that tries for the light touch of Richard Lester's Superman II and fails decisively. Jeannot Szwarc's direction is flat and uninspired, emphasizing the jokey elements without any sense at all for the material atop of a script that will have scratching her head. Queasily suspended between drag theatrics (Faye Dunaway and Brenda Vaccaro camping it up on a soundstage replica of a carnival spook house) and Spielbergian wholesomeness (Canadian Helen Slater as a toothy, Aryan Ubermadchen), this is one comic-book feature that doesn't fly.
Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016)
A. fransicse that is built on the idea of movie that are so bad they are good. Goes to far up its own butt hole.
A franchise that is built on the idea of movie that are so bad they are good. Goes too far up its own butt hole. This entire film take everything that someone could find enjoyable from a 'Sharknado' film and goes 10 steps way too far. From the cameo, to the bad effects, and the even worse script. This film take every possible enjoyable aspect of the franchise and flushes it down the toilet. A franchise that already is know for being bad movies. This films take the things it "fans" could hold on to and absolutely ruins them. If your not a fan of the idea of Sharknado they you are not going to like this film but even if you are a fan of the original campy Sharknado movie you will still hate this film. This movie will be hard for any audience movie to like unless they are trying to ironically like it.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
UGGG this film is just bad.
The first mortal kombat was bad but somehow this sequel is so much worse. The only stimulating, satisfying aspect of this action fantasy is the theme music. After that everything is just plain terrible. It's cynical and it's depressing, and I would lock a child in a room before I'd show him Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. The movie is nothing more than a perpetual chain of elaborately choreographed fight sequences that mix live-action foregrounds with complexly layered digital effects and are linked together by the most flimsy and laughable of plot elements. The sequel to a bad movie is quite serious, charmless and bad in every sense of the word.
Spawn (1997)
Just Terrible
Spawn is terrible. The acting, the writing, and the CGI. It is all just terrible. This movie was so bad it made me mad while watching it. It is just plain bad. No matter what big budget this "horror" film had it still look terrible. It realizes heavy on terrible special effects. It is not at all impressive no matter if you ignore the genre its failing to be in. Where the movie first falls apart is in its dumb story line. The special effects make it worse as they look model-shop cheesy, as if they'd been created using a handful of action figures and MacPaint, and the rest of the picture has the flat visual finish and phoned-in performances of a TV movie.
Assassin's Creed (2016)
The Most Boring Movie ever made.
A film that is based on an exciting video game which entire purpose is doing stealth and cool assassinations, yet it is the most boring thing you could ever watch. This film looks fine and is acted fine with qualified actor to give good performances, yet the only thing this film is good for, is to put you sleep in the middle of the day. Seriously only watch this film if you are trying to take a mid day nap. Otherwise you will greatly be disappointed. Anybody who desired a squeal from this film need to be put into a asylum. At the end of the day The film ends up with both blurry action that often looks digitally faked and a fractious plot that's stuck over-explaining itself.
Troll 2 (1990)
Just Bad.
A film that has really nothing to do with trolls. A sequel that has really nothing to do with the original. It is bad. No given it does have some memeable moments in the film but it is not good. It has nothing to offer for people looking to watch a movie with any quality. It does have something for people willing to watch a bad movie and make fun of it with their friends as they finish a LARGE bottle of whisky. If sober and alone stay as far as way as possible because the film will just make you angry with how stupid it is. If you just want to catch the highlights of film watch the documentary based on the film.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
A franchise that didn't needed a sequel decided to drive itself into the ground.
A franchise that didn't needed a sequel decided to drive itself into the ground. Their was no reason for a Jaws 2 or a Jaws 3 but even after people did like either of those films they decided to give it one more chance with the dumbest plot ever. A shark that is seeking revenge on someone that didn't even kill it. Jaws the Revenge is not simply a bad movie, but also a stupid and incompetent one. Angry fish travels to the Bahamas for the Christmas holidays, plotting revenge against the family of a vacationing New England widow. Significantly worse than the rest of the series, this film is one of the worst flops in cinema history. When the predictable ending comes, it has none of the titanic man-versus-beast struggle of the original. It all happens so quickly, you wonder if you've missed something. But, no you haven't.
Captain America (1990)
This is what Marvel use to be. Never forget.
This is what Marvel use to be, Never forget. Back when marvel was selling their properties to any studio will to write any type of check. They were making this. A movie's that were terrible. Movie that look terrible, acted terribly, and written terribly. The film has nothing going for it unless you have a couple of drink are down to make fun of captain america, or if you want to admire how fare marvel and the superhero genre has come for this pile of garbage. Unless the Steve Rodgers in the MCU this film captain america give the audience nothing to cheer about when the hero is cheerless and apathetic.
Caddyshack II (1988)
Sets the standard for how bad comedy sequels can be.
Like the majority of people of love the original Caddyshack. Then years after seeing the original I found out their was a sequel and was excited until about 10 minutes into the film when i realize I was in a complete and utter dumpster fire. It's shoddy, lazy and numbingly stupid. The film features someone who walks like Jackie Mason, talks like Jackie Mason, does everything except make people laugh like Jackie Mason. Caddyshack II, is lamer than a duck with bunions, and dumber than grubs. It's patronizing and clumsily manipulative, and top banana Jackie Mason is upstaged by the gopher puppet. Do not watch just go watch the original again and you will thank me later.
The Room (2003)
A So bad its good movie that is just bad.
This movie is sooooo bad that it makes no sense. This make the fewer ask why and why and why over and over and over again because none of this film makes sense. Not one single second makes sense. This inept 2003 melodrama has become cult favorite. As someone who's watched more bad movies than you can imagine, I'm mostly immune to the so-bad-it's-good aesthetic, though I can see how, viewed in a theater at midnight after a few drinks, this might conjure up its own hilariously demented reality. That the think about this film. It can only be enjoyable if you are drunk with other people who are drunk in on the joke. Other then that their no way you could possible enjoy this film.
Elektra (2005)
Worst Superhero Movie of All Time
This film is the worst Superhero Movie of All time worst then cheap campy superhero movie of the 1990 or the bad franchise ending films of 2010's. Everything about this film is just plain bad. It has no redeeming qualities. Elektra was an average character in another bad superhero flick in Daredevil. Without a viable screenplay, there's nowhere for the character to go, and no way to avoid making her look silly. This movie was a dumb sip off of a bad movie in which the Elektra is killed in daredevil. The film should have simply never been made. The Devotees of awful film making can't go wrong with this one. What it suffers from most is the sense of offhand storytelling that lies halfway between creative laziness and cost-cutting sloppiness. A plain and awful film.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Bad and just so boring
This movie is just bad. Not so bad its good but just bad because it is so boring. The only thing entertaining is that CGI is all time bad but last one scene and then you just don't care. Birdemic has been noted for its poor quality, with reviewers calling out its wooden acting and dialogue, amateurish sound and editing, nonsensical plot and its special effects, consisting entirely of poorly rendered CGI eagles and vultures that, in addition to performing physically awkward aerial maneuvers (non-animated bird sprites in the background will simply rotate 360° in mid-air), spit acid and explode with unrealistic smoke upon impact with the ground with a plane dive sound effect. It has also been noted that the birds do not appear until nearly halfway (47 minutes) into the film.
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
Amazing this didnt kill star wars that is how bad it is.
This is about as bad as film with a great ip can possible get. Everything single decision that went into this film is absolutely insane. Here's what you have to do in order to survive The Star Wars Holiday Special: Don't watch it. If you must, then 1) Have alcohol or some other inebriating substance close to hand - a rock to bang against your skull will do in a pinch. And 2) Remember that your tender 10-year-old self probably witnessed this atrocity the one time it aired on TV to unsuspecting, nay, eager audiences, and suffered such psychological trauma that your brain blocked off the memory in order to spare you further harm; know that you may suddenly experience violent flashbacks to Christmas 1978 as that mental wound is viciously reopened.
Foodfight! (2012)
The films feels like a unfinished movie so one is trying to get money to finish.
Their no way this was anyone vision. Once I was about two-thirds of the way through this movie, I started drinking vodka straight from the bottle and my notes after that contain nothing but "stop this" written over and over in an unsteady hand. The plot is dumb and terrible, the only thing worse is the design of the world and characters. It feels like your watching something that is not finished. I think my thoughts on this movie can be best summed up by a note I wrote roughly around the time when the titular "food fight" started: "I care nothing for these characters". The only way this film could have been saved is if it had never existed. The only way the film could be improved from the broken state it's in is if it were shorter, so reviewers like me had their suffering shortened. I literally would not wish this film on my worst enemy. Watch at your own risk, and keep any sharp objects or firearms far, far away, lest you commit suicide rather than continue watching. I'm a professional at movies like this; do not try at home. For the love of whatever you consider holy, do not watch this movie.
Disaster Movie (2008)
This films ruined the parody genre
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer single handily killed the parody comedy genre. A genre that has created great films like Spaceballs and Scary Movie. This film decides to take a bold strategy, in that it decided to never not once be even a little bit funny. Lazy, superficially and utterly forgettable. Seldom has a pic been more appropriately titled than Disaster Movie, yet another frantically unfunny free-form farce. The fun fact is that the real disaster movies have more laughs than this spoof. This movie begs the question why would you watch a bad movie about better movies, when you could just rent the originals instead? This film is the least unfunny movie of all time.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
The Worst movie I have ever seen
This movie has no redeeming qualities. Everything one could look to for a movie to get enjoyment in, this movie fails. It is bad in every possible aspect. Harold P. Warren's tattered vision for an exploitation endeavor provided ideal fodder for comic riffing, instantly making it one of their finest episodes. However, jokes are no longer attached to the new Blu-ray edition of "Manos," which presents the effort in its initial state, trying to reclaim the no-budget charms of the production on its own terms, without ace comedians making the viewing experience passable. It's a dangerous, sobering proposition, but there's something intriguing about the distraction-free picture, revealing Warren's ambition to make junk food cinema through hasty experimentation. This very well may be one of the worst movies ever made, but here, on the Blu-ray, the viewer is now free to study what was originally intended and, in some cases, actually achieved. Do not watch under any circumstances.
Baby Driver (2017)
The Best use of music in a film
The best use of music in a film sense Guardians of the Galaxy. No Hollywood suit and no die hard fan could have had the foresight to picture something like this, namely because nobody but Wright had any idea what this was supposed to be. This is something that's been brewing inside his head for over two decades, and that unquestionable dedication, confidence, and passion fuels each and every scene of Baby Driver. The mechanisms at work in Baby Driver, while calibrated with hair's-breadth precision, are nothing new. Here's what is: the sheer glee with which the film prods around in its own clockwork to show you what spins what. A fantastic film that you will want to watch more then once.
Rocky (1976)
The only sports movie to launch a franchise for a reason
On paper, neither character may seem terribly appealing, but on the screen they steal your heart away. Not only did that last reel include some of the most wildly exciting fight footage ever put on the screen, but it also provided an emotionally gratifying capstone to a picture that is truly an ode to the human spirit. The scenes before the fight set us up for it so completely, so emotionally, that when it's over we've had it. We're drained it a good way. The basic story line has been done to death over the years but this is still the most effective and successful applications of the formula. This is because Rocky is compassionate, interesting, even heroic.