Change Your Image
jtmace
Reviews
Archive 81 (2022)
It started off well enough.
I wanted to know more and dig deeper into the plot, but by the end it was kinda meh. In the famous words of Andy Richter said it best: "You took me on a four mile long hike just to show me a dog turd".
Wolf (2021)
Unexpected insanity
I was having trouble at first getting into some of the long, slow scenes, but man I glad I stuck through. This insanity captured on file. The performances are insane. The duality of it all... Madness.
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Not the time...
Dexter writers never fail to disappoint. Kids using guns to "solve their problems" AKA murder people... Not right now. Not ever. F this show, and F whatever the showtime writers have in store for their "Harrison" teeny-bopper spin-off. Such a let down AGAIN.
Nisser (2021)
Too many holes
Like if they can dig themselves into the ground so easily, why not just dig under the fence? I put it on for some background noise, but eventually figured I'd finish it. I dont know why they didnt just make it a movie. Its 6 ~20 minute shows. That's only about 2.5 hours, cut some of the dumb things and filler and you've got a 2 hour flick.
That, and the terrible dubbing landed this a big fat 2.
The House of the Devil (2009)
What a waste of time.
I guess it has a 6.4 on IMDB rating, which is really good for a horror flick, but this did nothing for me. Sure it captured that feel of horror movies from that time, but it has one problem, the movie is still boring and cookie cutter.
Girl agrees to baby sitting job, orders pizza, family didn't really live in the house and killed the previous residents in order to practice some satanic ritual. Girl prevails. Has the chance to kill the last surviving satanist, but shoots herself in the head instead for whatever dumb reason. Then cut to here alive alive in a hospital bed and BOOM, saved you an hour and a half, an hour and a half I'll never get back.
It's quiet. It's boring. All around 1 star steamer for me.
The Djinn (2021)
I hope you're not expecting a Wishmaster.
Came for Wishmaster. Left wishing I could muster the energy to sit through this boring flick. Even the trailer was boring. Slow, never delivers, and poor acting.
Something's Burning (2018)
Need new episodes!
As a fan of both comedy and cooking, I'm having withdraws from Something's Burning. I understand Burnt has a lot on his plate. Maybe figure out a way to shoot on the road.
The Sons of Sam: A Descent Into Darkness (2021)
Last half.
Started out strong. I always heard the the Son of Sam was possibly multiple people but never looked into it. The first episode is all the hunt then capture of David Berkowitz. The second episode only scratches the surface if the theory. Then "The Sons of Same" end and "A Descent into Madness begins. The final 2 episodes tried their hardest to link Son of Sam to Charles Manson and quite spectacularly fails to do so, with at the end of the final section has to confess that the Process Church had no links to the Son of Sam.
It does it's best at trying to reboot the "Satanic Panic" of the 80's.
Your Honor (2020)
Terrible show.
It might have been executed well, but overall the only thing that it leaves is the sour tastes of negativity, corruption, and death - probably an accurate portrayal of the real world, but damn if I'm not trying to escape the real world.
Not a fan of show where everyone is terrible, and the bad buys win...
A Glitch in the Matrix (2021)
Nothing profound.
They barely even discuss simulation theory. I had to turn it off when that one guy was talking about his trench coat and watching The Matrix 100s of times.
Two Face: The Grey (2020)
Dumb
Flat out dumb, echo, echo, echo...
This is saying something along the lines of "it's a ghost, but in order to milk more money off the story, now it's an alien, but now it's a ghost again".
Run Hide Fight (2020)
What sort of bot farm or echo chamber is generating these good reviews?!
This movie was possibly the dumbest movie I have ever seen. I rarely rate titles on IMDb, but when a movie is SO bad I'll do my due diligence and give it a garbage score it deserves. As an emergency responder, nothing would have been handled in the manor that the writer portrayed.
Cucked, soy-boy millennials become terrorists because they have gluten allergies and require dairy free pizza?! At one point it seemed to almost glorify bullying and a "suck it up buttercup" attitude towards bullying, but I'm hoping that was just bad writing.
Who thought it was a good idea to make a movie that portrays kids killing kids. I know, I know the world is messed up and that stuff really happens, but do we REALLY want to spend the time we sit back and relax and enjoy a flick to be about that subject matter.
Terrible writing, terrible direction, terrible acting, terrible cheese and worn out tropes. Nothing felt original. Don't waste your time.
This movie was so bad that I had to dig further, and only to get dirty once I learned it from from some right-wing propaganda shop... No wonder.
Black Bear (2020)
Hot garbage
Love Aubrey Plaza, but I hated every minute of this steaming hot garbage.
Come Play (2020)
I'll give it a four, but it's pretty dumb.
Like the top comment said (at this time) "I wish directors would stop being directors and producers". I agree with this sentiment exactly. Every horror film I have watched recently that fell flat on its face, has ended with "Directed and Written By:"
Movie was done well, and was probably budge-friendly due to all the low quality phone shots, but the concept was kinda dumb. Seemed like an obvious bite off of It Follows, but instead of the metaphor of STD's, it's about kids always on their phones.
The Devil All the Time (2020)
Barking dogs.
Movie was OK, but did what seems like every single scene require *dogs barking in background*?
Mother! (2017)
Stupid waste of time.
This movie is stupid. It's what a stupid person would think "that's deep", but it's not. It's just stupid and a waste of time.
Sputnik (2020)
That ending. Wait what?
I liked this movie. I kinda zoned out on having to read the subtitles and forgot I was watching a Russian film. The movie was entertaining and all, but that last three or four minutes left me confused as all. The shoes? The boy saying he's a girl? The sudden ability to walk? The boy answering to his boy name? I think the writer was trying to convey some symbiosis between the boy and Tanja, however completely missed giving any explanation as to why there would be a bond.
Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (2020)
Stupid New Age Garbage.
Starts out interesting enough, then halfway through... BAM new age mumbo jumbo. "If we just meditate then we can fly, and teleport, and dematerialize."
So stupid.
You Should Have Left (2020)
Steamer
What's sad is that out there somewhere, somebody thought this movie was "deep". It wasn't. It was slow. It lead exactly where you figured it was going to go. Some shots were kinda clever, but overall storywise, this was a steamer.
Inheritance (2020)
A solid 6.5
But I can't rate half a star, so I'll leave it a seven. I don't see why this has so many negative reviews. It's done well at all levels. Could have possibly had a bigger, more in-depth reveal, but compared to a lot of other steamers that I've watched recently, the movie was very much welcomed.
Right Now with John Goblikon (2015)
John Goblikon is GREAT!!! So is Right Now with John Goblikon
The music they also produce is great. Not really my style, but its really catchy. I learned of them through Right Now. It's one of the funniest web series today.
Serenity (2019)
This gets a lot of hate.
I'm feeling like a lot of people who review must be older, because while kinda "eh?" this was still completely watchable. I can see why big names signed up to do it - they maybe thought the twist was gonna be good and relevant, yet it just kinda fell flat on it's face, maybe poor execution. Still again, I put it on thinking I was gonna turn it off, yet I watched the entire thing, and even paused it during intermissions.
The Final Wish (2018)
Slow boring dumb
I rarely leave reviews on movies, unless they are terrible. This one is terrible. Definitely some shill reviews around here.
The Hatred (2017)
Baaaaad~
This movie was so bad that I created an account just so I could give it one star. And now I have to write 4 more lines of text just to submit this comment. This movie is so terrible that I'm actually putting in work. The acting is next level bad. It's about 40 minutes of filler until the movie starts. I believe there was absolutely 0 thought put into the story and the dialog. It's so bad I think I'm just going to stop watching movies all together now.