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Reviews
Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman (2021)
Not what I was expecting...
I was expecting a wild singing-and-dancing tribute to Bundy's life as a boogeyman before he went so horribly wrong and became a serial killer.
But no, there was nothing at all about dancing. Instead it's about Bundy's horrible murders.
It's almost as if they didn't know the difference between a "boogeyman" and a "bogeyman".
Anyone looking to get their boogey on should look elsewhere. Very disappointing.
Don't Read This on a Plane (2020)
Stylishly Boring
I turned it off after sixteen minutes when I realized that I would not care if someone broke in and stabbed the main character with a knitting needle, except that it would have improved the film.
This problem is endemic in modern cinema. You ask me to become involved with a character without giving me any reason to do so. She's not funny, or interesting, or assertive. She says nothing clever or thoughtful or interesting. So why would I waste more than sixteen minutes watching her?
I'm presuming that she ends up on some sort of journey of self-discovery or enlightnment, but, frankly, I don't care.
Arctic Void (2022)
Promising Film Undermined by Bad Writing
Technically good. Great photography. Fantastic scenery. Interesting characters. Excellent sound and music.
Unfortunately destroyed by awful writing, particularly because of very weak character development.
We very quickly understand that Alan is detail-oriented and a bit uptight but before we can develop a whiff of sympathy for him he turns into a blubbery man sitting on a swing firing off his flare gun. Dude, we don't care about you because we hardly know you, and we don't know your children at all. We're supposed to feel sorry for you because the writer employed the most over-used trope in film history?
Don't be ridiculous. If you want to see your children, about whom we don't give one-half crap because they only exist as a single grainy photo in your wallet, then get off your swing, stop blubbering, and try to figure out what is going on.
Also, we know from the instant that Ray finds you setting the table on the boat that you are not going to survive this. And we don't care, because, Alan, you are a weak, pointless character that just weighs down the film.
And Sean, you are the not-very-mysterious stranger, but you actually know nothing about what is going on so you are incapable of advancing the plot.
And the ending. The only thing that is reasonably foreshadowed is that the whales have somehow developed infrasound technology and it's time for a little payback. In consequence, there are about a million original endings that would brilliantly pay off the foreshadowing, but shoosting Mr. Mysterious in the head with a high-powered assault rifle is simply not one of them.
If the Cetacean Intelligence Agency managed to hire a squad of mercenaries to keep the results of their little experiment quiet, you're going to have to do a little more work to sell that to us.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Mystifying
So, two people who make their living cutting up dead bodies were driven to terror and near madness because they were confronted by... dead bodies?
Wouldn't the dad just say, "Hand me that bone saw. Let's see if these things are scary when they're just lumps in Ziploc bags!"
I don't think they really constructed the plot very well. The first part is great because it is accurate and the characters are very rational and insightful.
But then they just abandon all of that. You would expect them to go, "Wait a minute, can we trust our senses here? What if we're suffering from some sort of poioning or environmental effect that is making us hallucinate? Maybe we should think this through a bit before we randomly hack walking dead people who could possibly be your girlfriend to pieces with an axe. I mean, what did the dead people do to us, anyway? Ring a bell?"
Also, what chopped up the cat? I feel like that was sort of a loose end that was never explained. Was it the rat? Was there an incinerated zombie rat running around with a knife but the special effects budget ran out?
Also, you would think that two intelligent people would not use an accelerant to set a fire in a closed room they knew they could not escape. That was obviously not a good idea.
Silent Night (2021)
Mind Food
Absolutely brilliant. Best film I have seen in ages.
So funny and clever that I am in awe of the quality of the writing and directing. I hope we hear much more from Camille Griffin.
Do not read anything about the plot. One of those films you have to go in knowing nothing about for best effect.
Anyone who finds this film depressing did not understand it.
The Sinner (2017)
Very Nearly Perfect
It is rare to find writing this good. The plot proceeded almost without unsatisfying inconsistencies throughout the entire run of the mini-series. The Sinner should be a lesson for all who make television and film: good writing is the essential foundation; without that, you might as well give up.
The only place the writing fell down is in a few of the technical medical details--the traditional Achilles Heel of almost all fiction. Surely a doctor trying to create retrograde amnesia with opioids would have said "She won't remember" rather than the less-deliberate-sounding "Maybe she won't remember."
Also, it could have been made clearer that he was purposefully trying to create the needle tracks that drove the plot through Cora's amnesia; as depicted it looked like the kind of incompetence you would never reasonably expect from a doctor.
Notwithstanding, an excellent series, well-written, enjoyable, and very satisfying.