darthsteele-39338 Reviews

The Holdovers (2023)

Boring! Lost interest about halfway through.

[1/10 · 19 May 2024]

I guess I'm in the minority here with my one star review but I was completely bored. Not sure what all the hubbub was about with regards to the Oscar nods and win. Sometimes I think the audience is told that we are supposed to like a movie so we act like a bunch of sheep and just go along. I felt the same way about Oppenheimer. Totally bored! Is Paul Giamatti a good actor? Of course. As is the rest of the ensemble. But to me the film just fell flat. I didn't find the characters engaging, likable nor sympathetic. And the plot was completely uninteresting. I lost interest about halfway through..

The Iron Claw (2023)

Bravo Zac!

[9/10 · 12 May 2024]

Bravo Zac Efron! 10 stars for his performance in this amazing film! Zac has taken his career to the next level and I couldn't be happier for him! I gave the film 9 stars out of 10 because they omitted the sixth brother, Chris from the story. I understand why they did it, time constraints and all that. But it would have been nice to at least give him a mention. Otherwise this is amazing storytelling. It evokes a range of emotions and provokes thought and conversation. It's not really a film you can sit through more than once because it does take an emotional toll. But I do believe people will be talking about it for a long time to come.

Oppenheimer (I) (2023)

Bored out of my mind!

[1/10 · 8 April 2024]

I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion, but good Lord this film is BOOORRRING! Not one single character is set up to be anybody that we actually CARE about. We are told that this movie is spectacular, the acting is top tier and that we're supposed to love it. I don't know anything about filmmaking, but I DO know that I found nothing compelling about this movie. It's just a bunch of men talking for 3 hours. The entire film was one level, no peaks no valleys and no character arcs. I suppose it's an important story that needed to be told. Another important story that needed to be told was watergate. This movie feels a little bit like All the President's Men but All the President's Men WAS ACTUALLY AN EXCELLENT FILM, WHERE THIS ONE IS NOT! I'm so glad I waited until it was only $4.99 to rent on Amazon.

Wonka (2023)

Really really boring!

[1/10 · 10 March 2024]

I really wanted to like it but straight out of the gate it was flat, monotone, and just really really boring. The songs are poorly written and musical numbers are not entertaining whatsoever. The entire first portion of the film when Wonka is held prisoner is completely unnecessary and just adds to the tedious drudgery that is this movie. I suppose it could be categorized as a kid's movie but I can't imagine any kid being entertained or willing to sit through this monotony. THE PACE IS EXTREMELY SLOW! The Gene Wilder film was unique, imaginative, fast-paced, charming and entertaining. This prequel doesn't come close to remotely matching the appeal of the original. Unfortunate.

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

Stupid, low-brow humor. Just really bad

[1/10 · 4 March 2024]

It's 2024 and I had never heard of this movie until it was mentioned in a TV show I was watching. Then I coincidentally came across it while scrolling, so I gave it a shot. Not only does it not stand the test of time, but I can't imagine it even being funny in 2007. Unless, that is if you're a 12 year old boy, which apparently is the target audience. It's juvenile, gratuitous, poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly casted. No wonder Dane Cook was a flash in the pan and is completely irrelevant today. All this being said, my biggest regret about watching this movie is that now it's going to affect my streaming algorithm and I'm going to get suggestions for similar horrible movies just like this tragic dumpster fire!! Uugghh!

Priscilla (2023)

Disjointed, Monotone, Flat and Boring

[1/10 · 4 February 2024]

This film is completely disjointed, flat, monotone and utterly boring. It's a series of very brief scenes and quick snippets of Elvis and Priscilla's relationship awkwardly strung together. The entire film and performance of the actors is completely void of any emotion or depth. Jason Alordi has the looks and he got the speaking voice down pretty well but he is way too tall for this part. The actress playing Priscilla (whose name I've already forgotten) is, well forgettable. It's also unfortunate that the film didn't explore the dysfunctionality of the relationship to its core and make the film as compelling as it potentially could have been. I am a HUGE Elvis fan but it would have been interesting to see a truly gritty representation of his dark side. Coppola played it way too safe.

Death and Other Details (2024)

Slow, boring and uninteresting

[1/10 · 24 January 2024]

Comparing this abysmal, derivative dribble to Only Murders in the Building is a true insult to Only Murders in the Building, which is a brilliant show!! This genre is right up my alley but by the middle of episode 3 I found myself completely disengaged and dozing off. There is absolutely nothing clever, intriguing nor interesting about this series! Not one single character is remotely likeable. Kill them all off, who cares! And as far as who dunnit, meh; I've completely lost interest and don't care about that either! I didn't really have high hopes going into it and somehow it still managed to disappoint. And why O WHY for the Love of god, do these dumb shows keep casting children with a different eye color then they're adult characters?!?! Viewers notice this stuff! It's lazy casting!

Saltburn (2023)

Excruciatingly difficult to get through with zero reward at the end.

[1/10 · 30 December 2023]

Other reviewers use the word "derivative" a lot to describe this film. They're not wrong! And my God this is a tedious film to try to get through! The so-called twist at the end is anything but. There's absolutely no reward at the end for sticking with this grotesque and uninteresting film. The suspenseful bits aren't suspenseful. The funny bits aren't funny and the sexy bits aren't sexy. The only thing the film maker succeeded at was making the grotesque parts nauseatingly grotesque. There's not one interesting nor sympathetic character in the bunch. There's no reason to care about what happens to any of them! A complete waste of time!

The Creator (2023)

Basic, cliche and horribly executed.

[1/10 · 30 December 2023]

Although the subject matter is redundant and played out, after watching the previews I was looking forward to sitting back and enjoying this film. Boy was I disappointed! It's impossible to connect with the story or the characters from the get-go. Human soldiers and civilians die but there's nothing to make us care. And I can't be the only one who feels that Washington is a horrible actor! The little kid is cute and out acts Washington in every scene. And what's up with Allison Janney? She is so out of place in this movie. Did she need the paycheck or did she just want a role where she could sport a pixie mullet hairdo? And the plot holes, oh so many plot holes! And so many instances where the characters aren't even using current technology let alone technology that would be standard 50 years from now. This could have been a sufficiently entertaining film with just a few tweaks and different casting. What a shame.

What Lies Beneath (2000)

Meh

[3/10 · 11 November 2023]

First of all what's the point of Michelle Pfeiffer's character being obsessed with the neighbors? That storyline has no relevance in the overall plot. And a lot of time is wasted on it. Second of all Harrison Ford's character is supposed to be the "perfect husband". Hardly! He gaslights Michelle Pfeiffer's character at every turn! He's constantly condescending and embarrasses her in front of friends. Is the film in true Hitchcock style? Yes it is. But for a film made in 2000, I expected less predictability and I expected a stronger female lead. Michelle Pfeiffer's character is tragically mousy and it's super annoying. Was it entertaining? Sure. Is it a classic that stands a test of time absolutely not!

The In Between (2022)

Trying way too hard

[2/10 · 10 November 2023]

This movie is trying way too. That said, the 12 to 17 demographic probably eats it up. I'm a middle-aged woman so this film didn't quite do it for me. The whole thing was just silly. If I'm going to watch a movie in this genre, I'd rather rewatch Ghost with Patrick swayze and Demi moore, pottery wheel and all. Or Sixth Sense! To me the Sixth Sense is a much more moving love story than this adolescent garbage. I mean Joey King is a decent actor but this movie really doesn't showcase her talent. The whole thing was just lacking. Don't bother. Give it a miss. There are much better ghost love stories out there.

Yellowjackets (2021– )

Why am I still watching this horrible show?

[3/10 · 4 November 2023]

I'm almost through season 2. And I still can't figure out why I'm still watching this dumb show. It just rambles on without providing any answers to the mysteries that it presents. Oddly one of my biggest pet peeves is with the character, Thai. She was elected senator at the beginning of season 1 and now here we are at the end of season 2 and she just keeps going down a rabbit hole of exhibiting a split personality. Doesn't she have any government duties she needs to attend to? Her wife is in the hospital after car accident that she caused. And who is taking care of her son while she takes off to join her friends cult with her ex-girlfriend. This is a tiny example of how silly this show is. Jokes on me though I guess. I'm the one still watching it!

Jury Duty (2023– )

James Marsden is officially the coolest celeb ever!

[10/10 · 16 October 2023]

Smart, funny, original, refreshing, heartwarming, just brilliant! Can't wait for season 2! The reveal in the final episode actually brought me to tears. This understated show just came together perfectly. And James Marsden!.... I've always been a fan but seeing him improvise the role of a self-absorbed Hollywood celebrity is effing hilarious! This just proves what a true down-to-earth and funny guy he really is! All the performers did a phenomenal job! Proving there are so many talented unknowns out there! Also just hoping that subpar copycat shows don't come out, riding on the coattails of the success of this show and cheapen it. The show needs to keep its originality!

The Lost Boys (1987)

So much screaming!!!

[2/10 · 3 October 2023]

I was 19 when this movie came out and it took me until 2023 to watch it. And honestly after having done so, I can say that I would have been just fine having never seen it. It doesn't hold up and it's just really stupid. The non-stop screaming is annoying and tedious. Also it's super simplistic; It only takes drinking vampire blood to be turned? Really? They're layer isn't even hidden! And they can be killed way too easily! There are no plot twists, the dialogue is cheesy, and the ending is a tidy little happy package wrapped in a bow. WHY is this film STILL so popular!? It honestly sucks! No pun intended.

The Little Mermaid (I) (2023)

UUGGHH! It's frustratingly bad!

[1/10 · 28 September 2023]

I'm writing this review as I'm watching the film because yes, it's just that boring. I made the unfortunate mistake of renting the film on Amazon for $3.74 and I instantly regret it! Awful awful casting! Not a one of them can sing! Especially the actor playing Prince Eric! His singing made my ears bleed! I really like Melissa McCarthy but it's like she just phoned in her performance. Definitely not her best work. And don't get me started on King Triton and the mermaid sisters. The whole thing feels like the entire cast is on tranquilizers; Slow, dull, unexciting. This film really missed the mark. I want my $3.74 back.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Self indulgent garbage.

[2/10 · 7 September 2023]

It took me over 20 years to watch this film because I always thought it was self-indulgent garbage created by a bunch of entitled Hollywood elite. AND I WAS RIGHT. I reluctantly watched the movie on a boring Sunday afternoon because after all, it was made over 20 years ago and a lot of people still like it so I figured what the hell, I'll give it a chance. But after 2 hours of watching George Clooney flash his smarmy grin in every scene, Brad Pitt saunter and pose, dawning a flawless designer wardrobe and Don Cheadle experiment with an embarrassingly awful British accent, my end takeaway was, yup! It's a self-indulgent piece of garbage with a predictable and cheesy plot. I realize I'm in the minority with this opinion, especially since they followed with more Oceans films. But o well. The two stars are for Matt Damon. Because, even though he's part of the arrogant Hollywood boys club, I thought his performance was pretty good.

The Fabelmans (2022)

I kept waiting for something to happen

[2/10 · 21 August 2023]

No peaks, no valleys, no real drama, and no excitement. It's just a straight line, a really long 151 minute straight line of storytelling. Sam, whose character is based on Steven Spielberg himself, grows up in a loving home with supportive parents. Ya sure, his dad thinks he's sort of a dreamer and he catches his mom having an affair but the only adversity that he must overcome is that he's somewhat bullied in high school and his parents get divorced. His character never wants for anything and the whole thing ends with him skipping off into the sunset to a wonderful career in movie making. It's really just a load of self-indulgent dribble. The writing isn't clever. The acting is so so. And as far as directing, The horizon's always in the middle. There's no reward for making it through to the end. And honestly, it makes me appreciate Steven Spielberg less and consider him sort of an egomaniac.

Harlan Coben's Shelter (2023)

Keep your expectations low

[3/10 · 21 August 2023]

First of all I have no idea who the writer, Harlan Coben is and why everyone's so enamored by him. I had mediocre expectations going into this series, knowing that the genre is YA and therefore most likely pretty vanilla, and somehow my expectations still were not met. The first episode is mildly entertaining and leaves the viewer with just enough questions to come back for episode 2. The breakfast club stereotypical characters are all represented. (The nerd, the jock, the goth, the cheerleader etc.). I guess that's the required formula these days. The whole thing feels Scooby Doo-ish; with the haunted house, the creepy old lady who lives inside, the urban legends and secrets that all the adults seem to be keeping. I may stick with it, I may not. The writing is dull. The characters are mundane. The story is slow paced. And there's really nothing clever or unique about any of it. I actually wouldn't be surprised if the characters from Riverdale make an appearance at some point.

Jesse Stone: Stone Cold (2005 TV Movie)

Really Awful!

[1/10 · 16 August 2023]

I stumbled across this movie/series by accident. I'd never heard of it, nor the book series from which they are adapted. And after watching the first installment, it's no wonder; IT'S REALLY BAD! Honestly, I can get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of watching an episode of Columbo or Murder She Wrote. I have to hope that the books are better, but they probably aren't. Everything about the characters and the story is really stupid! HOW THE HE*L IS THERE AN ENTIRE BOOK AND MOVIE SERIES BASED ON THIS CHARACTER?!?! A sixth grader could write a better story and with much more interesting and vibrant characters! It's also hard to wrap your head around the fact that the first film in the series was made in 2005. I understand that it was made for TV but the production quality makes it appear as though it was made in the 80s. Maybe and hopefully the production quality improves with future installments, but I will never know, because I'm not a glutton for punishment. Regarding the Jesse Stone series, I am one and done!

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

Great stunts! But lacking in heart.

[7/10 · 23 July 2023]

The movie is long. Longer than it needs to be. Some scenes, and yes, even some of the action scenes seem to go on for a while. That said, the stunts and action scenes are incredible! The parts in between however; the story, the dialogue, the acting and auxiliary characters left me feeling a little bored and fidgety. All of the mission impossibles have somewhat of a hokie plot but I'm usually able to buy into it. But this time I felt myself just sort of watching the movie as a spectator, not immersed in it. Don't get me wrong. It was very entertaining! Car chases, fight scenes on top of trains, motorcycles going off cliffs.... It's always good fun. And the fact that Tom Cruise does his own stunts is a huge deal to me! I'll watch it again when it comes out on HBO or Amazon. I think a second viewing at home is in order.

The Out-Laws (2023)

Horrible on every level

[1/10 · 17 July 2023]

I usually like Adam Devine films. But THIS film is a total mess! He plays his character completely over the top to the point where he's just a moronic buffoon with zero likeable qualities whatsoever. He's just idiotic and cringey throughout. There's absolutely no chemistry amongst the ensemble cast and the writing is atrocious. How does this s*** even get made!? The whole thing is just a complete waste of time. Netflix just continuing to churn out more regurgitated garbage. I keep canceling my subscription because Netflix SUCKS. But then I come back, hoping that maybe they've improved their content only to be fooled again.

M3GAN (2022)

She's short circuits if you throw a glass of water on her?

[6/10 · 1 July 2023]

A fun campy romp through an AI what-if. Amazon prime uses the adjectives "science fiction, suspense, comedy, exciting". The word "horror" is not even used to describe this film lol, which I'm fine with. The amount of blood and gore in this movie it's just enough. It's very silly! Some parts are laugh out loud. I was a little disappointed in the writing when M3gan short circuits when a glass of water is thrown in her face. I mean, come on. An AI prototype that's supposedly this advanced can't get damp!? LOL Really!? Overall though, it's cleverly written and well put together. Very entertaining!

Match Me Abroad (2023– )

Sooooo Cringey!

[2/10 · 29 June 2023]

This show is extremely cringey and uncomfortable to watch! It has potential to be entertaining but misses the mark. Maybe if the producers spent some time showing the sites and scenery of the amazing countries and cities that are singles are spending time in, it would distract from how completely socially inept and icky they are. It's also completely laughable how the American singles have such a narrow view of what men and women from their respective country of choice are actually like. They are looking for a complete stereotype! It's actually pretty offensive and adds to the overall cringey awkwardness of the show.

You (2018–2024)

Season 4 completely jump the shark!

[1/10 · 26 June 2023]

Please for the love of God do not make a season 5! Season 4 completely jumped the shark! What the hell was this season anyway? I was on board with the campy whodunit plot line, even though Joe's character would absolutely never be accepted into the elitist socialite circle that we are supposed to believe he is now a part of. But I went with it. Then there's a plot twist (that I won't give away). It turned into a completely different show altogether. A show that, honestly I completely lost interest in. Writers have made it impossible to continue rooting for Joe! Season 1, even season 2 the audience is rooting for him! But the writers have lost that sense of direction. It's almost like they didn't quite know what to do with Joe, maybe feeling that they had to switch it up in order to keep being renewed for multiple seasons. Well that's not working for me, personally anymore. Not to mention that Joe's character is completely 100% creepy! Creepier than he was in the first couple of seasons. Yeah, I know he's supposed to be creepy. But he's really just down right gross! I hung with season 4 pretty well until around episode 7 or 8 when the show just became laughable and I became frustratingly bored and skeeved out. At that point I went online and read the summaries for the remaining episodes. I left the show on in the background as I scrolled social media and just waited for it to end.

Agent Elvis (2023)

They had so much to work with and this is what they come up with?

[1/10 · 26 June 2023]

Dull, juvenile, vapid, stupid, boring, horribly written and horribly voiced. This show could have been so witty, smart and entertaining but sadly it WAS NOT! I had no expectations going into the show, just hoped it would be mildly entertaining, since I absolutely love Elvis. I can't even say it was idiotic because that would mean it would have had some level of creativity. It was just a lot of nothing. Honestly, how can you have Elvis's life as your subject material and turn out such an empty show, full of nothing but low brow cheap laughs? I'll be honest, I only made it through a couple of episodes and that's what this review is based on. But judging from that I can say with certainty that it wasn't going to get any better.