Change Your Image
theboltman
Reviews
Avatar (2009)
Fluff. Absolute fluff.
Avatar tried to be epic for the sake of being epic. What is really was, was obnoxiously long and boring.
It is very apparent that people (as a whole) are slaves, liking what is fashionable to like and being caught up in effects. The evidence of this is when you ask someone what they thought of it and the 1st thing they say is "the effects were so awesome". It is not uncommon to hear no mention of any other aspect of the movie at all, just how cool the effects were. So once the 1st few people come out and say this is one of the best movies ever, others won't buck that opinion. I will.
The plot was thin. Very thin. And completely un-unique. Basically, bad guys fight good guys, good guys get smashed but against all odds fight back and eventually win. The most annoying thing about these kind of movies is that the director tries to make you feel good at the end of the movie because the goodies eventually beat the baddies. What they won't do is focus on how much loss the goodies had to have to actually win. So in the case of Avatar, i don't think the indigenous would actually care so much about winning in the end, because they lost their mother tree and most of what they lived for anyway.
The sub plot was just as bad and unoriginal. In fact, it followed the simplistic romantic comedy plot. Basically, a man is asked to deceive a girl (in this case other people as well), then he falls in love with the girl, then the girl finds out he was only there to deceive her and hates him, then they work things out and live happily every after.
The effects were cool (in parts) but completely overdone. So was the whole movie for that matter. The 1st two thirds of the movie could have been cut in half (at least). Whilst the effects were cool, revolving a movie around how cool you make something look is not a good way to make a reputable movie.
The 3D was lame. People will look back on this in 10 or 15 years time and laugh. We will wonder why we ever accepted putting a set of glasses on to enhance a movie. But even on its merits now, it is still terrible. It is difficult to focus at times and the clarity was impaired (especially around the sides). I had to take the glasses off for a good portion of the movie just to avoid getting a headache. Forgetting my personal gripes about the 3D glasses, logically it is a pretty simple equation when you consider how bad the technology is in the glasses. You spend hundreds of thousands on cameras to shoot the movie, you spend tens of thousands on a projector and then you view the final product through a set of $1 glasses! No professional photographer spends thousands on a camera and lenses then spends $10 on a cheap filter and nor should anyone be watching a HD movie through a $1 set of glasses.
It is a good indication that the movie has not done it's job if after 2.5 hours of watching it you find yourself not caring whether the main character lives of dies, you just want it to happen so the movie will end. This is how i felt at the end of Avatar.
I have some smaller gripes that are worth mentioning, but they alone did not make the movie suck. They certainly didn't help either. Although the movie was not all action, the action it did have was average. Any action that has to be slowed down to show how special it is isn't worth showing (ala the Maxtrix). I know the General was a tough man, but i'm doubtful whether he could pull a sword out of his neck like it was never there to begin with. I'm not convinced that a flux vortex is anything more than a 'Back To The Future' rip off. The money James Cameron used to make this movie could have been spent to educate and assist with the very problems he was referring to in the movie. But he wanted an excuse to WOW people with effects.
It wasn't all bad. The effects were cool, the scenery was nice and the 3D was subtle and not overpowering (ala the insects flying in front of you every now and then).
If you were going into a cool presentation for 20minutes you would leave very satisfied. If you went in expecting a movie you would walk out after 2.5hrs very unsatisfied.
Slipp Jimmy Fri (2006)
A very slow, serious cartoon that never really threatened to be funny
A cartoon about a drugged up elephant doesn't sound like it could be serious, but this was. I am a big Simon Pegg fan and was expecting something quite good with this. Unfortunately it was very slow moving, very unfunny, far too serious and overall, a bitter disappointment.
The plot was ridiculously shallow, making it difficult for the movie to find any pace. The storyline wasn't overly intricate or clever and any jokes that were present were able to be picked a mile off, and then they still took ages to get to the punchline.
Whilst I could have handled the low brow ideals of a movie like this if it had substance or humour, Free Jimmy didn't have either, so the low brow plot angle was just not acceptable.
Not a movie Simon Pegg lovers should waste their time on. 3/10 is probably being a bit generous.
Gone (2006)
An Australian outback thriller with potential, but went nowhere
I really wanted to enjoy this movie. I sat down by myself when i was sick and watched it with no interruptions. It was however, ultimately disappointing Other than the main characters not forming well enough for the audience to actually care about them, the movie was so frustrating in so many parts. The storyline is formed around 2 dopey people who are in a relationship that is shabby. There are so many times throughout the movie that if they actually just talked about their feelings OR treated the other person with respect and showed some trust, the entire plot would have fallen apart. (but than we wouldn't have a movie) So what we end up with is a movie that has a plot, although quite shallow, based on characters that are annoying.
If it wasn't so frustrating, it could have gotten a 7, but instead it gets a 5/10, and that is being generous