talon_mortis Reviews

Battlestar Galactica (2003)

TV doesn't get better than this

[10/10 · 9 January 2007]

To think that I heard of a remake of BSG and thought 'pfft, probably rubbish'. Dear God I was wrong. This is possibly the best example of television I've ever seen. The sheer cold, clinical, detached storytelling style makes for an enrapturing viewing. The miniseries is what, 3 hours long?, and I didn't flinch once when I first viewed it.

The characters were wonderous, especially I found Colonel Tigh to be a terrific re-imagining of the previous incarnation. Commander Adama and Captain Adama had an almost painful on screen chemistry. Oh, and Mary McDonnel? Inspired choice.

The thing that I truly love, however, is that there is very little noise. No massive explosions. No screaming and shouting. Everything is detached, everything is calm, in a slightly sick way. Only one word can truly sum up this miniseries and what follows.

*quiet*.

Crusade (1999)

Doesn't Add Up

[4/10 · 5 January 2007]

Crusade was a show with a big challenge, live up to Babylon 5. It didn't, quite frankly. The over-arcing plot was good, most of the characters were well thought out and the ship itself was pretty damned gorgeous. So where did it go wrong? I think the main reason for the cancellation was the 'drabness' that overhung the show. There were a lot of episodes towards the start of the series that were simply weak. From Episode 9 onwards there was a definite improvement, with continuity strengthening and characters being slightly more developed.

Some of the shows good points include the constant references to the Shadows screwing around in the past, possibly hinting at a re-emergence, the Apocalypse Box was a great idea, Max Eilerson, a slimyer company man we never did see. Oh, and of course the episode that directly parodied the X-Files.

Biggest flaw? Galen. He was truly wooden, a big detraction from the pace and mystery of the show. It irks me that of all the characters that they could have brought back for Lost Tales, it would have to be Galen, wouldn't it. Ah well.

So, a cancellation kind of earned. Perhaps B5 was just too good to sequel? After all, Legend of the Rangers came first and that flopped utterly. It makes me wonder just what Lost Tales holds for the future for us.

Alexander (2004)

Lots of.... walking

[3/10 · 28 December 2006]

I'm a big fan of epics, of Greek and Roman history, of anything where you get to see one guy with a sword smack someone else with a sword. So, for that simple reason, Alexander was something of a disappointment. The combat scenes were sadly lacking in enthusiasm. But this aside.

I often wonder if, at the bottom of Stone's Lifetime Achievement Award, there reads a plaque as to why he has it. I'm not sure if 'Taking the most interesting person in history and making the most boring film in history about him' would fit, but it's worth a try. I don't want to sound like I'm attacking Mr. Stone personally, but it was one of the biggest ego-boosts of a film that I've ever seen.

So many major plot points simply glossed over, the burning of Persapolis, the years in exile during his youth, the infamous Knot... why cut out the interesting bits? So that we could see more scenes of his army walking very, very slowly? Very accurate and all in appearance, just very, very dull.

One of the reasons that Troy was a success compared to Alexander. Troy had no real relevance to the history involved. But it was damned entertaining. Alexander simply wasn't. It failed to deliver on any of the things that should have made an Alexander movie truly Great.

Swing and very, very long and pointless miss.

Superman Returns (2006)

What have they done??

[3/10 · 10 November 2006]

Whose idea was it to hire a guy that looked like Christopher Reeve? That's no indication that he'll have any of the screen presence of the man he's trying to live up too. And he didn't. Brandon Routh has nothing, he brings nothing to the role of Superman that makes him stand out.

Lex Luthor was comically overwritten. The whole 'Lex Luthor - Criminal Mastermind' thing they had going for them in '78 doesn't work anymore. No offence to Kevin Spacey, who I honestly believe could have made the best performance in this dismal, dismal film.

Yep, good special effects. But I don't think that should score anyone any points anymore.

The general storyline as well sat very poorly with me. It was poorly conceived and entirely unoriginal. The only reason this movie gets more than one star in my view is that Bryan Singer's directing of ultra-cool action sequences remains top notch, but this did little to save the sheer cringe that is inflicted upon the poor Superman fan. Sorry Bryan, should have stuck to X-Men.

And... the kid?? Come on, what was that all about?