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Artemis Fowl (2020)
2/10
Josh Gad was the only good thing about this movie
15 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
While I have never read the books, I went in with high hopes for this movie. With leads Josh Gad, Dame Judi Dench, and Colin Farrell, a huge fan following for the books, and what seemed to be a really cool new universe to discover, I was pretty excited we were going to get to see it on Disney Plus for free!

All of this being said, the production value, effects, cast, and music are the only reason this gets an extra star. You can tell this could have been an amazing story, but the lack of exposition, storyline, and character development are too glaring to be overlooked.

As someone who cried at the drop of a hat and can develop empathy for almost any character with even a small bit of good character development, I was shocked by my own reaction when a character that I should have cared about literally died and I felt nothing. I didn't tear up, didn't have an ounce of emotion for him. What should have been an impactful moment and an amazing celebration right after, meant nothing.

Major holes and issues:
  • Development between Artemis and Dom. They seemingly have a Bruce Wayne/Alfred relationship, but we wouldn't know for sure because they're not developed at all.
  • Artemis is very well trained, he and Dom take on an entire fairy squad in their own. How? How and when was he trained? We just assume he's trained because Dom is trained? This literally could have been solved by a two minute montage in the morning of Dom waking up Artemis and saying, "Let's go, time for daily training." And training being interrupted by the phone call from the bad guy.
  • Artemis says "We need the suit". The suit has never been previously revealed and we don't know what it does. Is the suit magic? Does the suit have magical powers? What?
  • The fairy world's feelings towards Holly. We have one guy in the whole movie who expresses animosity towards Holly, yet when she gets an assignment and praise at the end, you can tell that's impactful for her.... but it isn't for us. Again, could've had a moment where she goes for a salute and no one salutes back, or a group of fairies calls her a traitor in the street scene.
  • Why does Artemis asking Holly "Can I trust you?" And Holly responding with what she said warrant him removing his glasses and blindly trusting her? You could've had her have a breakdown and cry over her father and saying how she wants to prove his innocence and him feeling and understanding that and then sharing his story too. Leaving his glasses on until after they share a moment when Holly saves Dom, which also could have happened and been another impactful moment. EMOTION. MOTIVATION. DEVELOPMENT.
  • Juliet. Zero purpose. Served absolutely no purpose. Why was she there? To do the butler duties Dom is supposed to do? Because all she did was bring people food. And the fairies just let her hang out at the tower during the whole battle. Convenient.
  • Why did they say Dom hated being called a butler, but there's never a pay off for that? Diggum knew that, great opportunity for a comedic moment. We got nothin.


There were so many other issues, too many to name, but they dropped the ball on this movie. I get this was a movie aimed at kids, but as so many adults read this book and fell in love too, this was really a disservice to them. Feel bad for the fans of the book...
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Life Sentence (2018)
6/10
It kept my attention.
4 July 2018
This was a good show. It was a little much on the drama front and not in a good way (but what CW show isn't?). I had incredibly high hopes after the first episode. The biggest reason why is because I think it's such a fresh and interesting concept. If they had gone in some different directions, I think they definitely would've made it.

The characters were incredibly likeable, but part of the problem was that some performances truly shined, while others fell short entirely. They were great in their roles. The music is FANTASTIC. I cannot express enough how much I love the soundtrack to this show.

While it didn't make it, I think it's worth the watch if you have nothing better to do. Just be prepared. What's on Netflix is all you get.
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