charliehmi Reviews

The Bidding Room (2020– )

The 'Go Back Home With Your Stuff' Room

[5/10 · 2 June 2022]

Members of the public arrive with personal items to sell to a room full of expert dealers to cover their train fare home. Beforehand an expert in a flat cap values the item. Nigel Havers presents and camps it up in a suit and trainers.

The trouble is, the items brought in either rarely match the tastes of the dealers, or more often than not they have no idea what it is. It's embarrassing sometimes how little they know, especially after being introduced as being 'at the top of their game'.

Items will be valued at 200-300, yet in the room will struggle to get to £50, or just receive no interest at all. First bid £20, then everyone else 'is out'. This happens a lot. It makes for extremely dull viewing sometimes.

Doctors (2000–2024)

Care in the community

[3/10 · 12 May 2022]

Set in a post apocalyptic town, the doctors spend more time out of the surgery getting involved in their patient's business. Fighting crime, family bust-ups, you name it.

The acting is generally average, bordering on the terrible sometimes.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Too long, messy, illogical

[3/10 · 6 February 2022]

I just don't know what others were watching, but this was a mess. There were some good bits, but it just took too long to get to them. The whole storyline was completely nonsensical from the moment Holland's immensely irritating Peter Parker somehow convinced Strange to help him out. Everything that happened subsequently needen't have happened.

The attempts at humour fell completely with me, which normally isn't the case for me with Marvel films over the years. The runtime also had me squirming in my seat checking my watch... At least 30mins could EASILY have been shaved off the running time to make things tighter.

Survive the Night (2020)

Dumb & Dumber & Dumber & Dumber & Dumber

[2/10 · 25 October 2021]

We start with two dumb brothers who've pulled off some sort of heist with a bag of money in the back of their car making a run for the Mexican border, on the way stopping for fuel and munchies.

One of them is super dumb, and also a complete psychopath. For some reason the slightly less dumb brother trusts him to go and pay without causing a scene, particularly as they're time pressured on their run to freedom... For no reason whatsoever the super dumb brother attempts to rob the shop, shoots a girl in the head, shoots the cashier and gets his brother shot in the leg for his troubles...

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Started off ok....

[2/10 · 6 August 2021]

Good in places, with a few good laughs mostly courtesy of John Cena's character but overall this just didn't do it for me.

It seriously drags at points, I started checking my watch half way through which is never a good sign. It picks up again, then it gets really silly. It just all felt a bit try-hard. Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is irritating as all hell again, like nails down a chalkboard, unpopular opinion I know, sorry guys!

The cast try hard, but they are hampered throughout by the script which needs a LOT of work, it's weak.

A Dangerous Man (2009 Video)

You have got to be joking me...

[2/10 · 17 April 2021]

How anybody is eating this higher than a 2 or 3 is beyond me. This is a real slog to get through.

The acting is bad, the soundtrack is bad and the editing is absolutely ATROCIOUS.

Seagal was actually still relatively mobile back in 2009 compared to now, but even so a stunt double was used in the scenen where his long lost wife (much younger of course) was giving him a seedy lapdance! Maybe it all got a bit much for him who knows.

2 stars for some genuine Lough out loud (unintentional) moments.

Beneath (I) (2013)

Atrocious

[1/10 · 1 April 2021]

5 minutes in and I was ready for them all to die they're all so annoying.

The acting is absolutely terrible, were they improvising?

Just terrible.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

Time moving slowly...

[3/10 · 22 February 2021]

.....that's what I experienced whilst watching Annihilation, in fact it took me two sittings to finish it.

It's not a particularly bad film to start with, but the 'HUH?' and 'Why are they doing that?' moments soon start stacking up and just keep going. Cool visuals and slow talking don't make up for all the plot holes and lack of logic shown by every single character...

Unstoppable (2010)

They made a real meal out of this...

[6/10 · 24 January 2021]

Well shot and suspenseful, but why didn't they just have someone hop across from the train at the front when they were touching instead of using a guy hanging from a helicopter?!

Robin Hood: Ghosts of Sherwood (2012)

No, just no....

[1/10 · 18 January 2021]

I don't really like to criticise low-budget titles too much as I know the amount of effort that goes into making a feature film, especially given such tight constraints, but this one is just awful.

Despite the warnings on here I gave it a go, but had to give up halfway through. The acting is almost non-existant, and the msucial score will drive you mad... Time passes VERY slowly when watching this, it's a real slog.

The Core (2003)

Guilty Pleasure

[5/10 · 31 December 2020]

Everything is wrong with this film but for some reason I quite enjoyed it.

The science is ridiculous, the effects are anything but special, and it completely falls to pieces at the end.

Skyscraper (2018)

Why all the mentions of Die Hard?

[3/10 · 19 July 2018]

Has anyone actually seen Die Hard? It's nothing like this. It's like watching Speed 2: Cruise Control and saying it's a Titanic remake.... Do people seriously lack imagination this much? Anyway...

Die Hard is the blueprint for a great action movie. This is not........

The Rock is in it, along with his neck and eyebrow working overtime.