Change Your Image
darryl-93206
Reviews
211 (2018)
"Let's do this the hard way"
It's not often that I will switch a film off because it is so bad - I've probably only done it two or three times in my life - but I actually watched this in its entirety, but probably shouldn't have.
The plot, or at least the life-choices made by the characters, made no sense. Feels like a bunch of 14-year old drama kids had 10 minutes to come up with the story. "Look, we need to find a really convoluted and implausible way get to them robbing this tiny bank in this tiny town, that has over a million dollars in cash in the vault." The bad mercenaries want their money. The guy who double-crosses them says "OK fair enough, I'll get it for you". Bad mercs decide it's better to shoot the hand that feeds them, and Rob a bank instead.
It has all the cliches: the tense opening scene of some computer tech tapping at a keyboard, having no effect on what's happening on the screen (because just sitting watching a transfer happen is boring), we have the "I'm so happy, I just learned I'm going to be a daddy, oh no, I'm going to die" character, the grizzled "almost retired, I hate everyone, but look, I'll shoot my gun a lot through the entire film and redeem myself somewhat", and a host of completely forgettable and uninteresting characters. These actors must sit around the TV with their family, waiting for their one inconsequential line to come up, like they needed to fill this 90 minutes somehow.
Just terrible writing, acting, and a plot that was "bad guys rob a bank then they shoot their way out. The End". I paused the film to get a drink, thinking we must still be in the middle somewhere, then discovered it only had 10 minutes left. There was no build up, no really dramatic climax, just stayed in 3rd gear (with maybe the handbrake on) the whole way through.
Please don't bother. Watch Heat again instead.
Muzzle (2023)
Well, it's no John Wick
This began so well, a true buddy movie, with a dog. Of course the dog is killed and, for some reason, the police bosses really go to town on Eckhart, hanging him out to dry, so we see the process of his therapy, his coming to terms with the loss, but all the time he's wanting to find the people responsible for his dog's death. The acting was believable, and I was gripped by the action.
All good so far, and we understand his situation of loss, but the plot just unravels and there is a lot looseness to the rest of what happens. Several bad guys are mentioned here and there, and we're not too sure what's happening, but my main issue was the colleague who hates him, despite all the trouble Eckhart has been through, but suddenly in the 3rd act becomes his best mate FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, and the happy ever after ending seems to happen all of a sudden, like the writers only had another 3 minutes to wrap the story before submission.
It was okay, but nothing special at all.
Happy Family (2017)
Nothing good
Weak premise of accidentally phoning Dracula (who hasn't spoken to anyone in decades yet has a functional mobile phone on his person).
Just weird. English actors yet it is set in America for some reason with no reference that this English family are living in New York, as well their English workmates and English school friends. I spent the whole time thinking it had been dubbed from an American-voiced version. Turns out that it was originally German language. Set in New York. So that's okay then.
Not funny.
Attempt at gaining "minion-power" with 3 cutesy silly bat characters is lame.
There is just no heart to this. We could watch Hotel Transylvania over and over but this didn't hold our interest even once.