Change Your Image
osirismalkovich-25494
Reviews
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022)
Pom Klementieff Carries This Special
Pom Klementieff is given more screen time in this special than in all her other MCU appearances combined, and she makes Mantis the perfect point of view character for this Christmas special. She is both hilarious and heart-warming as she struggles to give Peter Quill the perfect Christmas, and her sincerity and chaotic energy are what carries this story. As alien abduction stories go, this one was pretty funny, and surprisingly touching. It still had all the corny Christmas special elements you'd expect - absurd musical numbers, references to old movies, and everyone learning the true meaning of American Christmas - getting presents. If they made another one next year, I'd watch it.
Masters of the Universe: Revelation: Poisoned Chalice (2021)
I don't know what everyone is complaining about
This show is fun. It's got the adventurous spirit of the original, but an updated sensibility. It's a new take on the same grand, incredibly cheesy show from the 80s. And make no mistake, the original show was INCREDIBLY CHEESY.
Either fans of the old show are mis-remembering it (it was 40 years ago, so you know they're all old men now) or they take their 'love' of He-Man WAY too seriously. Either way, they're being too hard on what remains a 22 minute ad for surplus Conan action figures.
Riverdale: Chapter Eighty-Five: Destroyer (2021)
What even is this anymore?
This show can't seem to decide if it's Twin Peaks or It's a Wonderful Life. Why does Cheryl talk like she's 60? Why does Hiram talk like he's 12? Why is FANGS the only character acting like a human being? And why is Kevin still an offensive gay stereotype? This show has always been a bonkers mess, but it seems to lack any direction now.
Domestic Life: Cooking with Candy (1984)
I Laughed a Little
This show is broad, and slow, and the acting is really hacky (from actors who have been wonderful in other things!) and the premise and format seem extremely dated. On the other hand, it's a classic example of the kind of disposable television that was common in the 80s. There are still a few funny jokes in it, but most of all it exists as a cringy reminder of how far sitcoms have come.
Devs: Episode #1.1 (2020)
Mystery Box Stories NEVER Pay Off
I was really hopeful going into this show, but after watching the first episode, that hope is gone.
None of the characters are likeable.
None of the characters are interesting.
The "mystery" is SO vague it's boring.
There is nothing in this first episode that makes me even a little interested in seeing the second one. "Mystery Box" stories are so overdone, and lead to inevitable disappointment. If the acting was good, or the dialogue, or if there had been even a TINY HINT as to why I should care about ANY of this, I might have kept watching. But the acting was flat, and the scenes were clunky, and the "mystery" is a total bore.
Happy Endings: The Kerkovich Way (2012)
Gaslighting Your Partner, You Know, In The Funny Way
It turns out the Kerkovich way is just lying to someone so often and with such detail that they question their sanity and memory. If one of the male characters had done it, it would have been obviously creepy, but since it was a Jane and Alex gaslighting a Brad and Dave it's played for laughs. This is a terrible episode in an otherwise great series.
Rick and Morty: One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty (2019)
Elon Musk buys a cameo in Rick and Morty
Seriously, screw Elon Musk. David Lynch would have been more useful and relevant to the plot, and you know. The episode was pretty good though, despite having a billionaire buying a role in the show and no one seeing how messed up that is or how it's indicative of the corruption inherent in capitalism and how it is steadily destroying our planet and how if he wanted to really help people he would do so instead of profiting from symbolic acts of charity while contributing to the problems that are killing us all and building an island bunker to escape to while the rest of us die in the disaster he profited from creating like some kind of poorly-written post-apocalyptic cartoon show.
Elon Musk sucks.
Between Two Ferns: The Movie (2019)
Do yourself a favor and just skip to the interviews
The "story" of the movie is something no one asked for, and it's not all that funny. The actual interviews are just as good as they were in the web series, so save yourself an hour or so and just skip from interview to interview. don't miss the bloopers in the credits, too. They're pretty good.
Riverdale: Chapter Fifty-Seven: Survive the Night (2019)
This Was Bad
The writing on Riverdale has always been clunky, and this season has never felt like it knew where it was going. But this episode was the worst example of these issues. Instead of trying to find a coherent story thread this season, they decided to just keep "shocking" the audience each episode with no thought for what came before, and then just wrap it up with a horror movie murder LARP where all the evil characters team up to kill teenagers. The dialogue is more stilted and more awkward than any time since the pilot, and the actors chewed their lines like community theater novices. The resolution makes no sense, and then finish it up with some nonsense "hooks" for next season.
Riverdale began as a great concept, but they totally beefed it with this season finale.
Riverdale: Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun (2019)
Stop Making the Subtext Text
I'm not really impressed with cramming popular musicals into this already bonkers series. It feels like noisy filler, but worse than that, it adds to Riverdale's existing problem of over-explaining the very obvious in an attempt to hide how absurd the story really is. In a show where all the characters are already telling everyone their feelings in the loudest and blandest way possible, there's no reason to sing about them too.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Finds a Liar! (2019)
The best one liners
This episode has some of the best dialogue in the entire series. It's good they put so much craft into the final episodes.
Behind the Curve (2018)
Do you have an hour and a half to waste? Watch this!
At no point in this rambling, incoherent response were they even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone who saw this "film" is now dumber for having watched to it. I award it no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes on Television: Like and Subscribe (2019)
I Liked Every Episode Until This One
This episode is a low point in the series. When the premise of the show was "more famous celebrities dunking on Ryan" it was pretty funny, but "Ryan is out of touch with YouTube celebrities" isn't as entertaining. The jokes fall flat, and the story is pretty hackneyed. Here's hoping the rest of the season gets better from here
Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes on Television: Pilot (2017)
This Looks Promising
I liked Ryan Hansen in his previous series "Play It Again, Dick," and this series seems like a natural extension of that premise. It was funny, with the meta-show framework keeping it from going too far into goofy shtick or serious TV. Plus watching Ryan get crapped on by a parade of cameos from more successful actors made him enough of an underdog that you really want him to succeed with his "Celebrity Vice Squad."
Riverdale: Chapter Thirty-Six: Labor Day (2018)
This show somehow works despite being poorly written trash
Riverdale, at least from the second season onward, has been hot garbage. But the story is so absurd, the writing is so tragically clunky, and the drama is so grotesque that it's amazing. I want to hate this show, but I can't look away.
In the first few minutes of every episode I wonder how such badly written dialogue could make it to air, or how such crudely drawn characters can remain entertaining week after week. But by the end I'm always cheering at some laughable yet satisfyingly moment, or staring in shock at what ridiculous events just took place.
Riverdale is the prettiest dumpster fire that ever made it to prime time, and it doesn't look like it's going out any time soon.
Iron Fist: The Fury of Iron Fist (2018)
Can we please replace this show with Heroes For Hire?
I didn't make it to the end of season 1, but after the Defenders I was willing to give Iron Fist another try. But it's just not as compelling as the other Marvel Netflix shows. The fight scenes have gotten way better in this episode, but the story is still uninteresting and the characters aren't engaging.
HOWEVER, there was an episode of Luke Cage where Danny came to visit Luke and advise him, and it was the BEST episode of EITHER SHOW. I would LOVE if they dropped Iron Fist as a series and made a Luke Cage/Iron Fist team up show, HEROES FOR HIRE.We don't have to get bogged down with ancient destinies and inter-gang warfare, we can just have two great heroes that work really well together doing the kind of awesome fight scenes that we thought we'd get from Iron Fist. That's a show that would be worth watching a whole season of.
Cloak & Dagger: Call/Response (2018)
Interesting discoveries
The origin story is slow building, but there is finally some pay-off in this episode. It's refreshing to see superheroes struggling to figure out their powers without agonizing over how different they are or how they don't fit in with normal people. The complementary nature of their powers, personalities and skills draws them together in such a way you can't help but want them to succeed.
This show is also a fascinating look at how super powers don't compensate for the social disadvantages of race or poverty, and how those struggles inform how they take on their respective adversaries.