gsbltd Reviews

The Kennedys After Camelot (2017)

Why Caroline Kennedy Is Absent From This Miniseries

[9/10 · 29 October 2023]

Firstly at nearly 80 years old I remember "Camelot" clearly (I even wrote a fan letter to JFK and received an auto-penned photograph) and as such found the entire first miniseries outstanding -and in particular Greg Kinnear as JFK- as it stripped away the mythology of America's greatest political dynasty and revealed that family for the deeply-flawed people they were.

Originally, Showtime was to air THE KENNEDYS but panicked when Caroline Kennedy threatened legal action which nearly scuttled the entire project before the Reelz channel picked up the broadcast option. And even after airing, the DVD release was very slow in coming... especially to the United States. I actually had to order mine from Canada where the series was filmed.

AFTER CAMELOT avoided any such legal problems by simply eliminating Caroline from the narrative and that's why you won't see her portrayed here.

While AFTER CAMELOT lacks the style and quality of THE KENNEDYS it nevertheless furnishes an accurate account of a family riddled with all-too-human frailties and failures as both erase the legends we were once convinced to be genuine.

Snake 2 (2019)

A Fun Chinese Creature Feature

[5/10 · 13 February 2023]

A Dolphin-spotting pleasure cruise turns into a nightmare when a tour boat is sunk sending survivors to an island inhabited by monsters from an abandoned lab project gone very wrong. With CGI at least as good as any Asylum offering, among the nasties are the titular 500' snake and her babies, a vicious school of big flying Piranhas and a massive acid-blooded Toad with a projectile Tongue that can rip the flesh from your bones. But the charm lies in the broken English subtitles and stilted acting that only the Chinese can manage to pull off with a straight face. Actually not too bad, considering what it is!

Crazy Richard (2002)

A Wretched Mess of A movie

[26 October 2021]

It's hard to fathom the filmmaker's intent here. Were they illustrating the desperate need for social acceptance many young Gay people feel as they turn to drugs for solace after life's multiple rejections? Were they just out to hustle a few quick bucks from the Gay film festival circuit or were they sincerely trying to craft a little opus that exemplifies that old scripture, "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world only to lose his soul?"

My guess would be it's a hodge-podge of all three but it fails on so many levels it just becomes a stridently boring exercise in really bad filmmaking. They clearly had a budget large enough to do better, but either didn't know how or didn't want to which brings me back to my opening questions. There are a multitude of cinematic sins here from hammy, amateurish acting to incomprehensible dialogue, murky lighting, jarring music and downright psychedelic editing that an exorcism at the Vatican could never vanquish. But at least the sets and costumes are nice!

In all fairness this was an Australian production and the Aussie concept of entertainment can be -shall I say- skewed at times as their indie filmmakers take extreme measures present a social commentary or simply hold your interest. And in the hands of a true craftsman like Peter Jackson, even their crudest works shine can like a cinematic LED [Jackson's early titles like BRAIN DEAD, MEET THE FEEBLES and BAD TASTE prove this]... still harshly glaring and in-your-face, but peppered with little nuances that make the entire experience at least a little worthwhile. Okay: Jackson's actually from New Zealand but you get my point!

Again, CRAZY RICHARD just doesn't cut it and by the end you really hope this pair of Ruby slippers are so heavily padded so they never click and return to OZ... or at least a movie screen near you. On second thought: somebody needs to slam those scarlet heels together pronto and send this one-hour waste to time back to the deep Aboriginal outback where it belongs.

On another review forum, one contributor hailed CRAZY RICHARD film as a future cult classic if viewed through the "proper" lens. My answer to them would be only if that lens was smeared with a thick layer of Vaseline that totally obscured the images.

The Sacrament (2013)

Ignore the Derogatory Reviews and Watch it, Anyway!

[5/10 · 8 May 2021]

Firstly: the reviewers who are comparing this film to Jonestown only know half the story of that tragedy if they got it from books or YouTube documentaries. I moved to San Francisco just four months after the event took place in November, 1978, and remember well how severely it traumatized that entire city, particularly since it and the assassinations of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk happened within three weeks of each other. And, one of the first places I visited wasn't Fisherman's Wharf but rather Jones' shabby People's Temple building out on Geary Blvd. Because I wanted to see for myself what could've caused such a tragic waste of human life. Most people are totally unaware how powerful a political figure was Jim Jones: he was well-connected at the SF City Hall having been appointed to the SF Housing Commission by Moscone himself; Jones was a friend to both Dianne Feinstein and Nancy Pelosi and was very active in their political machines... something books and videos always seem to omit. But beyond all of that, very event of this type is different, from Jonestown to Heaven's Gate to Waco and to compare one to another only diminishes that loss of humanity. Still, there is a common thread to them all and that is CONTROL over others. And that commonality is even more sinister today as we witness what is happening before our eyes every single day.

THE SACRAMENT is first and foremost a film where the core message is simple: all cults are horrific with those that masquerade as religion the very worst; but when you understand that -by definition- all religions are cults they become even more diabolical regardless of the message they present. Agian is is all about control of the masses. And as such THE SACRAMENT should be viewed as a cautionary tale that transcends religion and instead encompasses today's politics and the media that relentlessly promotes them.

So ignore the vapid comments of reviewers who stupidly carp about trite "lost footage", "predictability", bad acting or production values because those are not the key elements of this film.

The message you should all take away from THE SACRAMENT is that anyone who makes golden promises whether from a bamboo pulpit in a jungle or a golden altar in a cathedral -or an Oval office- is selling you a lie intended to control your thought processes and eliminate all opposition in the process.

BTW: if you think Jonestown still isn't a raw subject in the San Francisco bay area, you should also know that just a few years ago when a permanent memorial was proposed for the victims in an Oakland cemetery, many of their descendants vehemently opposed its creation. Such remains the impact of the event some 43 years later.

Gangster Land (2017)

Strictly A Bargain Bin Film

[1/10 · 7 May 2021]

Since others have adequately furnished accurate reviews of this movie's many shortcomings, I'll only add that there's a very GOOD reason I found my Blu-Ray disc selling for one ONE DOLLAR in a discount store. It's already been donated to charity.

Feed (2005)

Call Me Superficial

[2/10 · 1 August 2019]

But I only watched this movie to see a young, blonde Alex O'Laughlin naked and unlike the rest of this horrid little film, he didn't disappoint. The rest of the movie was simply tasteless and repellant. But, since he is credited as having come up with the storyline himself it does reveal a bit about the darker workings of Alex's mind.

Titanic II (2010 Video)

Can Anyone Else Do Better With Only $500,000?

[5/10 · 7 June 2019]

That's the reported budget for this film, and -despite thier vocal claims- I seriously DOUBT those adolescent armchair Director's offering their reviews on here could accomplish a fraction of what you see onscreen.

Money burns up VERY FAST once you begin production, especially on a scale such this!

Having shot my own 90-minute documentary a couple of decades ago, I know from experience what it is to work on a spaghetti budget and I say "Bravo" for those whio worked on this little film!

Killing Kennedy (2013 TV Movie)

A Pointless Exercise In Slap Dash Film Making

[2/10 · 26 May 2019]

Firstly, I'm old enough to remember the genuine JFK so my perceptions may be sharper than several subsequent younger generations. I was actually in Dallas, Texas one year to the date following the assassination and had just finished reading the entire Warren Commission Report that was published in late September; those two experiences ingrained in me the extent of the coverup that was not to enter the general conscience for several more years. After riding that motorcade route in a Lincoln Towne car while sitting in the 'Kennedy position" I knew the country had been conned. BIG time.

I own virtually every biopic ever made about JFK and KILLING KENNEDY is by far the worst of them all. I should've known what I was getting when I bought the blu-ray disc for only $6.49 but as the old saying goes, "you pays your money and you takes your chance". For many years, I considered William Devane to be the closest of all the actors I've seen make the attempt. But, if you want a thoughtful, well-presented film try the much-maligned THE KENNEDY'S miniseries where -for my money- Greg Kinnear REALLY nails the entire Kennedy personae from looks and voice to mannerisms and body posture; in fact, every character hits very close to the mark.

In KILLING KENNEDY, Rob Lowe is abyssmal as JFK but as bad as he is, he's still a notch above the rest of the cast in this poorly-written, cliche-ridden, cheaply-produced potboiler that starts out weakly and declines from there. It is an embarrassment to the memory of JFK and insulting to anyone who remembers that era firsthand.

Wichita (1955)

Another FICTiONAL 50's Western.

[2/10 · 8 July 2018]

Oh, where to beign? FIrstly: I'm born/raised in Wichita KS so I know the old girl pretty well. Even still visit "Old Cowtown" on the banks of the "Little Ar-Kansas River"... which is amazingly framed by a nonexistant mountain range! Note that phonetic pronunciation because it's just one of the many inaccuracies this old Technicolor chestnut promulgates. Typically, a character in the film calls it the "Ar-kan-saw" River. But those are the least of the offenses as this movie steadfastly portrays that thug-with-a-badge Wyatt Earp as a reticent, conquering hero. Truth is he was nothing of the kind, let alone Marshall of my hometown! Earp was just a patrolman in the seedy worehouse district of Delano, which was just on the other side of the river from "respectable" Wichita. Today Delano is filled with botiques, but in 1888 it was filthy and crawling with rats an stray dogs.. in fact, young Wyatt honed his pistol skills by shooting mongrels for the palty bounty the city offered... money he would later gamble away playing Faro at a local table. He was also himself once arrested for disorderly conduct. Earp was a piece of work, all right! In constrast, his buddy Bat Masterson was a decent lawman and one of the few who would live to tell about his wild days on the Kansas prairies - he retired writing a sports column for a NY newspaper. But Wyatt Earp still had an infamous career ahead, including the disgrace that was the OK Corral and his subsequent vigilantism as he and his merrry band roamed the countryside to murder those who were already exonerated in court of law. Earp finished his days as a respected advisor to Hollywood silent films where he perpetuated the myth of white-hatted good guys. Appropriartely -in real life- Wyatt Earp always wore a black one. But the mythical legacy he left behind was still a strong one as this turgid potboiler demonstrates.

State and Main (2000)

Trashy, Criminal Behavior Passed Off As Comedy!

[1/10 · 12 November 2017]

The story line for STATE AND MAIN could've been ripped from today's headlines: Alec Baldwin plays a top movie actor who habitually seduces 14yr old girls as a "hobby", yet is protected by his studio and production assistants in hiding his crimes.... and it's all played as one great big joke. They all know what is going on and shake their heads about it, but nobody condemns or attempts to put a stop to Baldwin's character - in fact, they not only bribe public officials to keep their mouths shut, they even are willing to commit perjury in a courtroom to protect his -and their own- careers. Talk about art imitating life!! Baldwin was also an Executive Producer on this smarmy waste of footage.

Other reviewers have called this 'Goodhearted, light fun', 'Slight, but colorful', and 'Funny, witty and rather sweet'!! Since when is statutory rape a subject of amusement? Apparently, some people just don't get that fact that lives are ruined over such attitudes and I'm NOT talking about the actors involved. And, every second of this film is an affront to anyone who has ever been sexually victimized.

Oh, Baldwin really shines in his role -as do the entire ensemble cast- but considering his own past indiscretions, why is this a surprise? The only real surprise in this film is how blatantly normally-brilliant writer/director David Mamet is willing to shove such repulsive behavior down the throats of his audience while making a huge joke of the whole serious issue.

Mamet should be ashamed of himself since he certainly knows better. Baldwin -and the rest of this otherwise talented cast- should be so lucky to have even that much personal morality.

Terror at London Bridge (1985 TV Movie)

The London Bridge Is The Real Star!

[4/10 · 16 September 2017]

I bought this little sleep-fest on VHS years ago in a cutout bin and could barely finish watching it. It moves like Molasses in the dead of winter and telegraphs the story line like Marconi on Meth. But, that legendary old bridge still photographs with atmospherics that rival any Hammer horror flick from 20 years earlier! I've walked that bridge and as you lean over those massive stones you can literally sense the history under your feet. Chainsaw mogul Robert McCulloch developed Lake Havasu City AZ after buying 26 square miles of desert for about $75/acre, intending on turning it into an upscale resort and site for a new chainsaw factory. But, to draw people to the middle of nowhere he needed a hook.

When the City Of London announced they were going to auction off the 1831 historic span because it was sinking into the Thames River, McCulloch negotiated long and hard to buy it in 1968 for a stunning $2.4 million and then spent three years dismantling it stone-by-stone for the long journey to his desert oasis. It was carried by ship down through the Panama Canal then carried by trucks to it's final destination. And that bridge is BIG! 928 feet long and 62 feet wide, but each stone was numbered so the span could be reassembled like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle -the bridge is now listed as the world's largest antique. And they did an amazing job! There was even a smallish English "village" complete with costumed employees who hawked Americanized Fish and Chips from quaint little shops. Iconic -and authentic- red cast-iron phone booths and heraldic banners complete the look. I visited it in 1979, and even though most of the current resort wasn't even built yet, it was still a memorable experience.

So: even today that bridge is really something to see -especially in it's present incongruous location. And, YEAH: it's entirely possible that Jack the Ripper himself scuttled across those historic stones!

Secret of the Incas (1954)

A Long-Suppressed Film

[7/10 · 23 June 2017]

Several years ago I met a Production Assistant who worked on RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and was told an interesting story: that SECRET OF THE INCAS was indeed the inspiration for RAIDERS... but it went much further than that. The PA stated that George Lucas had seen SECRET years before and adapted the story into his own vision for Indiana Jones. Lucas screened SECRET -in secret- for Spielberg who immediately attached himself to the project. Here's where it gets interesting: Spielberg quickly negotiated the rights to SECRET and the contract demanded it be shelved and never released in the United States so there couldn't be any direct comparisons to RAIDERS. That's why even today you can't buy an official NTSC copy of SECRET; my region-free disc came from the U.K.! And the similarities between Heston's costume and Harrison Ford's some 30 years later were no accident, either: the PA told me that the RAIDERS creative staff were required to watch SECRET and use it as source material as much as possible to save production time/expense. And, it's clear they took a lot of notes! Others have mentioned the obvious similarities, but there's another really quick one that most people overlook: it's a little musical phrase on the SECRET soundtrack that is identical to one that John Williams used later on when he scored RAIDERS. Listen closely and it'll jump right out at you. Another coincidence? I'm not so sure! Further, Charlton Heston was famous for talking about his filmmaking experiences, yet he never directly -or publicly- mentioned SECRET... not even in his detailed autobiography, "In The Arena". He would only say that he once made a film high in the Andes where it was very difficult to breathe! Privately he allegedly had plenty to say: that he was contractually prohibited from mentioning his work on SECRET and that he seriously resented the fact that Spielberg had so thoroughly usurped his character and with little alteration turned it into the cult-status-cash-cow that Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones attained.

The Word (1978)

WHERE Is The Full 8-HR Release?

[6/10 · 14 March 2014]

I bought THE WORD in a two-tape VHS rental set about 12 years ago for $4.99 - and, I'm glad I did. I'd never heard of this miniseries before, let alone seen it... but, when I popped it in - it made my head spin and, until reading reviews here on IMDb I had no idea what I saw was a mere shadow of the genuine, unedited article. MENTAL NOTE: READ THE BOOK!! When I liquidated my old VHS library, I also recorded new DVD discs... but THE WORD got lost in the shuffle until tonight - and so I am now watching my old, forgotten disc as I write this review. I haven't seen this title in around 5 years.

It's good, but evocative of the late 80's style of TV-miniseries. Now: that's not such a bad thing - since some really great films came from that period from some really fine books, whose story lines simply screamed for a longer, more dedicated approach in their adaptation to prime-time-major-sponsor-TV-fare. This was not cheap and pretty risky for all networks, but CBS bit the bullet and produced THE WORD. But, long protracted location shoots ate up much of the budget which is why effects were usually specious and the lead actors well past their prime. THE WORD was no exception.

The PLUS? The subject matter! Today can you imagine a miniseries seriously challenging the authenticity of the Holy Bible? And, you know: -as I keep one eye on my adjacent monitor- the quality of THE WORD isn't half-bad. The storyline is clearly shredded which only angers me when I realize there was TWICE this much footage originally aired. WHY has it been suppressed and by WHOM? Or: do I even need to pose that question? Now I want to see the complete, unedited version of this too-forgotten miniseries! Oh, sure: I'll read the book in the meantime... but if anyone has the original broadcast version of THE WORD recorded and stuck away somewhere... something tells me they may be sitting on a goldmine.