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Reviews
Buried (2010)
Beginning is great
Rating is based purely on the first half of the film, because it's among the top frustratingly exciting stressful films I've ever seen. Ending is not great though.
Gone in the Night (2022)
Very predictable...
20 minutes in and I already know what's going on. I'm guessing I have to wait for 40-50 more minutes until the big reveal we all see coming. If it turns out to be something else entirely then I'll come back and increase my score from 4/10, but if not you know what's up.
Edit: Actually turned out to be a bit better.
Dashcam (2021)
Annoying character
Usually you want the main character in a horror movie to survive. I would have given this movie a higher score if she didn't.
At times I actually felt unsure if her MAGA personality was supposed to be a satire or not, because they just kept it going though out the whole movie.
Body Cam (2020)
Never really went anywhere, absurd ending
I see a lot of reviewers writing something like "it had so much potential", but I don't really see it. I think this whole premise was doomed to failed, and without the actors names attached to this it would have been a direct-to-video movie...
And the ending was so neatly wrapped up, but how?? The one cops _SPINE_ WAS RIPPED OUT THROUGH HIS THROAT! Nobody wondered how this happened? He fell? "well he was a dirty cop that's what you get"?
Smh...
Crimes of the Future (2022)
Why do they keep hiring her
Kristen Stewart pretends to be Kristen Stewart, but this time she does it again.
I will never understand how this actress keeps getting employed, and paid handsomely at that.
Moonfall (2022)
Was this movie just the world's most expensive prank?
What a weird thing this was. Actors had zero emotion, the story feels like when you watch a movie half paying attention, while also fast forwarding randomly. I seriously don't understand how this happened. They must have lost reels of film in a fire or they were trying some kind of remote-green-screen thing because of covid? I refuse to believe this was someone's actual vision. I seriously had to Google to check if anyone could explain how this happened, but I couldn't find any explanation. At least my googling reveals I was not mistaken, because everyone in the world seems to be taken aback by how bad this movie is :D.
Things Heard & Seen (2021)
Wow what a turn
For the entire movie I couldn't understand why it received such a low score. It's actually pretty good and has a nice creepy vibe throughout.
Then suddenly, during the final 10 minutes it all made sense. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie pivot so hard from "good" to "wtf why have they done this".
It should be studied by film majors to show what can happen when you can't come up with a good ending, but you just go through with what you have.
Halo (2022)
Odd choices, John the war criminal, slaughterer of men
It's weird that they made Master Chief a war criminal, apparently slaughtering humans with the reason being "I was ordered to". Not really the hero we felt like when we were playing the games. I hope my view on this show improves as the episodes go on, but this is a horrible start.
No Exit (2022)
Stupid from the start
She takes a photo of the license plate but not of the girl inside the van?
Could have just shown the photo to everyone. Why did she decide to just leave the girl to freeze while she's playing sneaky detective?
So many many stupid illogical decisions that it drove me crazy.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Kids saving the world
The main audience for this film is undoubtedly the 40-50 year olds who grew up with it, so why did they make a kids movie about kids saving the world?
It's baffling.
Eternals (2021)
This was rough
Feels like it was written by children. Actual children, I'm not even trying to be hyperbolic. Marvel spent years making me invested in the MCU and now it has come to this. I don't think I have it in me to continue this ride anymore.
Eraserhead (1977)
mm yes, much wow, such art
This movie actually made me reconsider all the other times I've given a 1/10 rating... Maybe they weren't so bad after all?
Ich seh, Ich seh (2014)
Played out plot
If this is the first time you ever watch a movie then you will probably enjoy it. The plot was obvious already the first couple of minutes, and the rest of the time you're just waiting for the *gasp* shocking reveal.
Breach (2020)
What's up with Bruce?
The movie is just laughably bad (and not in the fun way.)
He's really just hopping around collecting paychecks, isn't he? After watching Cosmic Sin and now this I am simply giving up. I'm skipping future movies with Bruce.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
Why?
If you want some good fantasy stories, check out some of the 10 star rating reviews here. They are all more inventive than the movie.
HOW COULE ANYONE GIVE THIS 10/10????
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Why did they put it in sweden with swedish accents?
If you've seen the swedish version first, then while watching this one you spend most of the time wondering why they just made it again, with American actors, in sweden, with swedish accents. We already had that movie... Why didn't they just adapt it to America instead? Whatever. The swedish movie had better actors, watch that instead.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
Not very good
A very oddly edited movie. Most of the scenes feel strangely disconnected from each other. Sometimes I was wondering if it was supposed to be some plot twist towards the end to show that some of the scenes were flashbacks, but no, they are just disconnected. Perhaps the editor had limited film to work with, but anyhow, this movie is safe to skip unless you're very bored.
Kill Me Three Times (2014)
Bad people
Who am I supposed to care about in this movie? Everyone is horrible. Lying, cheating, thieving, murdering people.
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)
What happened?
Why does this feel so different from the first? It's like they did a "Scary Movie" version... It's just full on nonsense.
Bumblebee (2018)
Ugh who are these critics?
I hate that my completionist tendencies forces me to keep up with this franchise. I hate that it is definitely canon that, yes, for a fact, these robots were indeed hanging out on Cybertron as cars and planes from Earth. Before they had been to Earth. Before they even knew of it's existence.
People giving this 5+ has either a) never watched movies before and are thus enthralled by the cliché story (kids, probably?) or b) paid to give a good review.
How It Ends (2018)
No ending
"We couldn't figure out an ending for this. YOLO"
I had to Google if there is a sequel or if it's the pilot for a series, but nope. There just is no ending.
I'll stay clear of this writer/director.
6 Underground (2019)
Shocking.
This movie is shockingly bad for its budget. There has to be AT LEAST 60 jump cuts per minute. It's like watching a 2 hour music video, and yes, that includes the trite "story". Even after just a few minutes I was constantly debating with myself if I should just abandon it (curse this complesionist mentality!)
Just wow.
Deep Blue Sea 2 (2018)
Squeaking sharks
This was literally just the first movie, made again, but way worse.
Also, they added squeaking sounds to the sharks for some reason.