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Reviews
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Hahaha!!! In parts, awful!!
This makes me wish Leia hadn't lived. Can't bare the little slit.
Oh, and the inquisitor who thinks she's cat woman over Gotham.
Then the racial stereotyping straight from the 50s
Also, filmed like a sci fi channel film in parts.
Oh and did I mention, I hate Leia and also, I can't stand Leia!!!
Vader is decent and the appearance of the emperor at the end was good to see.
Scrap the first 4 lousy episodes and just watch 5 and 6 like it's a film.
I hate Leia.
Seuwiteuhom (2020)
Great start then bores you
First 4 episodes are great. And then as per usual, far too many episodes with back stories for each character etc... you know the score. Another example whereby it could all have been done in 4-5 episodes and have all all the boring back stories and time hopping cut out.
Newark, Newark (2022)
Avoid at all costs
I'm from Nottinghamshire which is the only reason I gave this a go. Utterly dreadful and supposed to be a comedy? Do not waste your time on this. Beverly callard should've stuck with playing Lizzy Mc.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Stop hating and remember
Come on all. Stop hating on this film. Have you ever seen a slasher before??? Almost all the characters are always stupid so there's nothing new there. We don't watch these films for a gripping storyline and to really invest in the characters apart from the antagonist. If characters in slasher films were sensible and rational then there'd be no kills.
This film is pure entertainment from start to finish. The music is brilliant and the flashback scenes are great. Plus, hardly any stupid homages to the original which is a relief compared to the last one.
It also really captures a great Halloween atmosphere with set pieces and lighting.
Dr loomis's accent, dialogue and voice over is dreadful I will admit, and the title sequence is a bit naff with all the floating pumpkins! Stop trying so hard!
No Halloween sequel or new timeline will ever live up to the 1978 original, but this instalment is very worthy. Classic slasher film with everything you'd expect from stupid characters, some crap dialogue and awesome kills. Of course it's not scary!! We all know Michael Myers by now and how sinister he is.
Stop hoping for another 78 masterpiece, it's never going to happen. Just enjoy the franchise for what it's become. It was always going to end with slasher sequels. This film is on a par if not better than 1986's Jason Lives, and the fans loved that for its sheer brutality and stupidity. Remember folks, it's just another slasher film so enjoy and stop looking for a masterpiece.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Good but couldn't invest in characters
Concept is like a revival of battle royale (loosely) and very brutal. I was watching with an open jaw on episode 1. Slightly deteriorated a tad with each episode.
I couldn't invest in any character enough to care. Don't make a second series and let this stand alone as a solid series itself. Like they should've done with a Handmaids Snail.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
What was that!!
What the hell!! Was pretty decent until the car chase in the jungle.
However, the plot was forgotten somewhere down the line. And the point in John hurt?? Another waste of talent.
The less seas about jungle car chase the better.
There's plenty of earth realm stories left to cover, why choose aliens for god sake.
Poor addition and very low expectations for the next one.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Still waiting??
Utterly pointless, not funny, weak plot and incredibly boring.
Don't waste your time on yet another Hollywood attempt at nostalgia which again fails. Ghostbusters 3 next. God help us.
Equals (2015)
Whoa!! Hold up
Hang on a second here. I bet they thought they'd got away with this one.
This is a direct rip off of Ira Levins book "this perfect day"
I'm on to you icon pictures I am. I'm very cross with you. Seriously though, it's sooooo similar.
Jason X (2001)
Pure entertainment
Why the haters? This is non stop entertainment with decent deaths. It's sooooo stupid which just makes it more fun to watch. Yes it's loaded with flaws but which Jason film isn't. Just enjoy it for what it blatantly is.
Terminator Genisys (2015)
Say what now??
Soooo much is wrong with this film. Why send back Kyle on the same day as Arnie and not the day before to blow up Arnie when he arrives. Why does Matt smith kill John Connor in front of Kyle before he time hops and not just wait til he's time hopped. Everyone in this film is totally stupid. Don't bother. It's tripe and makes little to no sense.
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
Could be PG
Just about every kill is cut making this slasher film more of a point horror book.
You'll get more gore from midsomer murders.
Such a shame as could've been great.
Friday the 13th (1980)
Better than expected
Halloween was the right time, this was the great time.
It's a Sin (2021)
Characters let it down
So, after you've watched one Russell T Davies drama you'll begin to see that all the characters are pretty much carbon copies of his other drama's. Good topic to choose and executed well. Pretty funny in parts also.
HOWEVER, the dialogue in parts is so unbelievable. No one talks like that and I've barely met anyone that does, and those I have bore me to tears. And the whole "La" thing made me want to switch off and vomit. I see people are now wearing T-Shirts with "La" on. Stay away from me.
Jill is mega boring and as for the "Roll out the Barrel" sequence in the B&B, AS IF!!! This is the 80's, from early 80's to early 90's everyone including the babies were smoking back then. These lot don't. Not that that's a bad thing but it would've been a more genuine portrayal. This didn't annoy me as much as Cucumber but it came close. Pretty boring characters and rubbish dialogue all saying La to each other. Just count me out of their circle of friends please.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Mcdiarmid makes it
Pure entertainment with very holy plot.
Discard it as a Star Wars film and it's a boss stand alone sci-fi adventure. However, what does just, and very just make it a Star Wars film is Palpatine played amazingly by the actor as always. Arguably the best movie villain of all time. The minimum screen time and amazing acting and dialogue make up for it though.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
A drawn out tale of a maid of a hundred hands
It's based on one book. Fine then, the idea is based on one book. What's with the 10 trillion one hour episodes. I see totalitarian game of thrones coming on.
Whatever happened to making a series with just 3 or 6 episodes in. What's with all these recent series whereby it's required to contain more episodes than time can contain. Little happens in each one but just enough to keep you watching whilst at the same time also wanting it to finish in order to be granted your life back. I know it was my choice to watch but trust me, I gave up after 5 episodes because it only needed to be 5 ruddy episodes didn't it. On and on and on. Don't even get me started on the haunting of crappo mc crappy house and the walking w#nky never ending dead. Stop this please and revert back to high caliber and high in content fewer episodes. Nothing needs drawing out this long. Reminds me of Brexit.
And whilst we're at it, what's with soundtracks nowadays? The soundtracks for this and the aforementioned are dull, forgetful and flat. It's like they just type into a computer "suspense" and a microchip just makes it all up as it goes along but the most boring microchip on earth like that one person everyone avoids at a party once the word gets around.
Good points of this? Nice shoes and jeans. Just realised I'm on about the serpent there which is equally way too long.
Good points? Fatty Aunty whatsa face and the blonde bird. End of.
The Serpent (2021)
Tons of patience required
Really sorry but far too drawn out. Only needed to be 3 episodes. Why does everything have to be like 10 one hour episodes now whereby just enough happens in each one to keep you watching. Not this time. Too slow and too much time hopping. High patience threshold required.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Slower than pause
Don't waste your time. Decent cast and that's it. Slow slow slow with a dash of more slow. Nothing happens and the longer you watch the angrier it'll make you.
Just remember this, you'll never get that hour and 45 minutes back. Step away from this garbage.
Are You the One? (2014)
Abandon all hope here.
Probably some of the worst narcissists human kind has to offer. Sheer decadence right here served raw. If you want to fuel your disdain for these vile people then keep watching.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Slower than pause.
Nothing happens!!! You wait and wait and wait thinking there'll be some kind of Romero revival. Ends up like a wet trump. Don't bother but watch the bbc2 sound card. Highly recommend over this.