If I saw this film in the 70s, I probably would have been in stitches. I know it was a big deal back then and shaped the genre and is considered a classic... Alas, as a modern viewer I was counting minutes to the end. Laughs: zero. Chuckles: maybe four.
Reviews
12 Reviews
Tall Girl
(2019)
"How's the weather up there?"
31 January 2020
To be fair, the horribleness of Tall Girl is so absurd it's almost comedic. I laughed for the most part of the film. However, given that the makers' intention wasn't to make me laugh at the parts I was laughing at, I rate this movie three stars.
My favourite part was when Jodi, the main character, says something to the effect of "I stopped playing the piano because when you're good at something, people want you to do it, and I didn't want to give them a reason to stare" in her most serious, melancholic tone of voice. Oh, and when her parents thought she was a freak of nature and compared her to the tallest man in the world. And also when three people in a row greeted her with "How's the weather up there?"
P.S. Why did the Swedish guy's eye colour change from bright to dark at random? I thought they had switched actors mid-shooting!
My favourite part was when Jodi, the main character, says something to the effect of "I stopped playing the piano because when you're good at something, people want you to do it, and I didn't want to give them a reason to stare" in her most serious, melancholic tone of voice. Oh, and when her parents thought she was a freak of nature and compared her to the tallest man in the world. And also when three people in a row greeted her with "How's the weather up there?"
P.S. Why did the Swedish guy's eye colour change from bright to dark at random? I thought they had switched actors mid-shooting!
And Then There Were None
(2015)
Watched it on 1.20x speed. Yes, it was that excruciatingly slowww...
26 January 2020
Could the pacing be ANY more sedate and the scenes more pointless? 5 minutes in, I knew that this movie was going to be a big fat disappointment, but quietly hoped it would get better once the murders started. Alas, it only got progressively more tiresome. Almost no dialogue or action (plenty of landscapes, though).
Had I not read the book, I'd probably be very confused by the plot.
Had I not read the book, I'd probably be very confused by the plot.
The Wedding Date
(2005)
Give me more Dermot Mulroney
12 November 2019
I felt that the character and relationship development was lacking, making the ending not entirely convincing. Nick's perspective wasn't satisfyingly explored, we didn't really get his side of the story, and he seemed way more interesting than any of the other characters whose private affairs apparently deserved the screen time.
Because I Said So
(2007)
Made me dislike Diane Keaton even more
12 November 2019
How come does DK always play unlikable/annoying/otherwise unpleasant characters?
You know what? Nevermind. Even erasing her from Because I Said So would not make it a good movie. For a comedy, it's painfully unfunny. The plot didn't really make sense: the mother wanted to control every aspect of her daughter's life so she wouldn't "end up like her," despite the fact that they were nothing alike. I can understand some slightly over-the-top maternal involvement in a child's life, but Good lord, Daphne seemed to have some serious mental issues. Aside from her psychosis, the characters were all bland and unappetizing, without any depth to them. It was very obvious with whom Milly would end up, so no element of suspense in the romance department.
Mandy Moore and Gabriel Macht were cute in their respective roles of Milly and Johnny.
You know what? Nevermind. Even erasing her from Because I Said So would not make it a good movie. For a comedy, it's painfully unfunny. The plot didn't really make sense: the mother wanted to control every aspect of her daughter's life so she wouldn't "end up like her," despite the fact that they were nothing alike. I can understand some slightly over-the-top maternal involvement in a child's life, but Good lord, Daphne seemed to have some serious mental issues. Aside from her psychosis, the characters were all bland and unappetizing, without any depth to them. It was very obvious with whom Milly would end up, so no element of suspense in the romance department.
Mandy Moore and Gabriel Macht were cute in their respective roles of Milly and Johnny.
The Hustle
(I) (2019)
Made me laugh out loud a lot, but overall felt very mediocre
1 November 2019
The Hustle had its moments (the Texan fiance/non compos mentis sister part! I almost choked on my own spit), but OHMYGOD, the structure and ENDING! Respectively poor and unsatisfying. The latter had nothing to do with a creative plot twist, it just ruined the whole experience.
Also, as to the humour, they could've easily gotten rid of 98% of the sexual jokes and innuendos. They were either in bad taste or plain not funny.
Also, as to the humour, they could've easily gotten rid of 98% of the sexual jokes and innuendos. They were either in bad taste or plain not funny.
Beauty and the Beholder
(2018)
Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but
1 November 2019
Movie has an overall score of 4.5 (160 votes). 16 out of 17 reviews are expressing great praise. All were written ON 2 NOVEMBER 2018 by accounts created in NOVEMBER 2018 who have NO OTHER RATINGS.
Are you kidding me? They didn't even try to be discreet about it.
And yeah, this movie was utter rubbish. Not even LAUGHABLY bad, just totally terrible. (Admittedly, I didn't finish watching it, but I doubt there was any improvement.) As if a horned up teenager saw American Psycho and thought to himself, I can do something like that, but better and with tits!
And yeah, this movie was utter rubbish. Not even LAUGHABLY bad, just totally terrible. (Admittedly, I didn't finish watching it, but I doubt there was any improvement.) As if a horned up teenager saw American Psycho and thought to himself, I can do something like that, but better and with tits!
Shazam!
(2019)
Am frankly baffled by the fact that this movie has an average rating over 7
1 November 2019
Shazam! was one of the most JEJUNE movies I have recently seen. Premise: try-hard. Chaotic themes: too many. Humor: lacking. Villain: cliche. (I could neither love or hate him. He has been pitiably poorly written.) Main character: unlikable and suffering from a personality split. (Seriously. As a teenager, Zachary was reserved and uncommunicative. As an adult, perky and zealous. They were NOTHING alike.) I could ramble on for hours about all the weaknesses of this movie. But what maddened me the most was how they resolved the issue with Zachary's mother. It was his main motivation, and they wrapped it up in one short unsatisfying scene that left us with more questions than answers.
The Orphanage
(2007)
Can't say I'm a horror connoisseur by any means, but this movie was terrifying
1 November 2019
El orfanato is one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. And although I found it very good indeed, I have no intention of rewatching it during this lifetime. Once was more than enough.
The image of the boy with a bag over his head haunts me till this very day.
The image of the boy with a bag over his head haunts me till this very day.
Life of the Party
(I) (2018)
Melissa McCarthy is the glue holding this movie together
16 January 2019
Yes, the message was heart-warming, Diana (Melissa McCarthy) was lovely, and there were a few laugh-worthy moments. But that's about it when it comes to the positives.
What bothered me the most is the fact that they had to make supporting characters literal caricatures to make interactions with them 'entertaining'. We have the A-Hole Ex-Husband, His Perfect New Wife, Blindly-in-Love Handsome College Guy, Antisocial Death-Obsessed Roommate, Quirky Coma Girl, Dumb Girl, Unnecessarily Mean Popular Girl, et cetera -- characters we cannot say much more about, because they don't have any character arcs or even real personalities.
Although the actors weren't badly trained, the writing made certain scenes/most of the dialogue feel forced and artificial.
Andover
(2017)
Wasted dark comedy potential
16 January 2019
Found the idea intriguing, but the movie disappointed me big time. Expected a dark comedy with a roman noir feel à la Death Becomes Her, but got an average romance/drama with a bit of very unscientific sci-fi and a few dark laughs. It wasn't as entertaining/absorbing/imaginative as I hoped it would be.
Someone should take up a Scriptwriting for Dummies course...
16 January 2019
Gave up near the end. For over one hour I was waiting for something to happen; there were no plot points or plot twists, the 'funny' scenes fell flat, character arcs and relationship dynamics weren't developed. Wouldn't even classify it as amateurish, it was below that. Whole movie could be summed up as: watch a marriage therapist/expert try to desperately come up with an idiotic book idea (because deadlines) that will inevitably ruin her already failing marriage; bonus: puppy scenes!
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