chaosbaron Reviews

Infested (2023)

Creepy, well shot, confusing

[5/10 · 25 May 2024]

The movie was well shot with good lighting and cinematography. The spider effects were all really well done. The acting was also good. But as far as the story goes... why were the middle eastern people working so hard to catch these things for what I assume is a few bucks? I'm confused as to why the venomous animal specialist tried putting a spider in a shoebox. Im confused as to why after the spider escapes from the shoebox, he puts one of its eggs in the same shoebox. Im confused as to why suddenly half way through the movie the spiders are scared of light. Im confused as to how the spiders webbed a bunch of people to the ceiling... im confused im confused im confused. But who cares about finer plot points, its enjoyable creature flick none the less.

The One Hundred (2022)

Too many genres in one maybe

[5/10 · 18 April 2024]

The film starts off with a suspenseful "who goes there style mystery" in which a creature reminiscent of The Thing stalks guests at a hotel. The plot gets weighted with a angsty teen protagonist, his deaf father, and a girl with a mysterious blood disease that the monster for some reason wants. The movie takes a hard turn quick with CGI centipedes covering the walls, the characters dying then being resurrected into monster fighting super saiyans only to die again... but then alive again.. I think. This movie is all over the place, but for what its worth me and my friends were entertained and had some good laughs. The main monster design is also fairly interesting. Good if you enjoy monster or creature flicks, bad if you are looking to watch Gone with the Wind or Oppenheimer.

Death Trip (2021)

Decent, but bad pacing

[5/10 · 7 July 2022]

The film has some reasonably good cinematography with well lit scenes. The acting isn't bad, though there are a lot of scenes with characters talking over each other. This is to make the scenes feel more real, though for the most part audiences don't seem to like it. While the film does a reasonable job building up suspense and un ease for the first hour, its pacing kinda starts to dip and weave. That is the biggest fault of the film ultimately, as when the tension dips after rising it is hard to reinvest emotionally.

Adam & Evil (2004)

Disjointed and erratic 90's teen horror

[3/10 · 1 July 2022]

A rather weak entry into the 90's teen horror genre. Adam & Evil at least attempts to have a plot and give some of its characters backstory. Unfortunately, much of the plot is left jumbled up in a erratic and confusing story. Seemingly important characters like the "psycho ex boyfriend" Shane are not properly introduced. Much of the film is so dark you can barely tell which characters are doing what. This all wraps up with a expected twist as these films tend to have that really comes out of left field and leaves viewers feeling unfulfilled.

8 Days to Hell (2022)

Cheap, but good horror fun

[6/10 · 8 June 2022]

If you are a fan of Tales from the Crypt, Creepshow, or the like, you might enjoy this anthology film.

This is no great work of art, but has a good mix of stories with some silly off the wall twists, some better than others.

The CGI, was as to be expected not extraordinary. I think if the film would have went with some more practical, even if as cheap, would have looked more charming.

Some of the stories shot by a bit quickly, as one might expect when you include 8 sometimes loosely connected mini stories together.

The acting was, perfectly adequate for this type of film.

American Gothic (1987)

Eerie slow burn

[7/10 · 19 April 2022]

American Gothic stands out among lesser known horror movies of the 80's for its patience and atmosphere. The majority of the movie has a dark, gloomy, overcast feel. This combined with the performances delivered by the unknown and unusual family creates a very uncomfortable watch. Some viewers might find the film a bit slow, or even cringey at times. Absolutely worth checking out for most horror fans.

Arwah Kuntilanak Duyung (2011)

The most confusing jumbled film I may have seen

[3/10 · 31 March 2022]

From start to finish, the film is complete chaos. You open with a woman getting a flat tire and a man assisting her, and they immediately decide to get married that same day. That couple has very little to do with the plot. There are random ghost appearances, bizarre reactions, and even a ghost rape. There is just too much to put into a single review. Don't expect anything to make sense by the end. It is a bad movie. And with that said, if you enjoy this type of muddled chaos, I strongly recommend it. It is a great time with friends.

The Amityville Asylum (2013)

Needed a sound editor

[3/10 · 21 March 2022]

As many entries in the long list of Amityville films this one isn't particularly good.

The plot takes a long time to kick off. It is almost a hour into the film before they even relate it to the unfortunate murders that took place at 311 ocean avenue. It seemed almost as a quick throw in to attach some name recognition. The plot that does exist is very thin, and not a lot happens through out most of the movie. Several insane patients are introduced, and we get short moments with them, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. Not a lot of sense or thought can be pulled from what does happen.

Worst than that though, the film suffers serious sound issues. At time the music overwhelms the characters voices, and this will happen for several minutes at a time. Even the subtitles on the channel I used said "music too loud".

There is almost nothing to walk away with here. Though it is hardly the "worst" movie I ever saw. They do attempt some character development, and the acting while not great, is sometimes alright.

The Sleeper (2012)

Retro slasher that kept the good and the bad

[4/10 · 12 February 2022]

The Sleeper is a slasher killer film that attempts to capture the feel of late 70s early 80s slasher. Very specifically it emulates the 1970s film Black Christmas. While I actually love the painfully cheesy scenes like the girls playing basketball and the way too long choreographed discover dance scenes, the film is brought down by a total lack of character depth and predictable and stupid character actions that serve no purpose. Additionally while I appreciate the subtlety of the Era piece not shoving pop culture references down our throat as shows like Stranger Things and Fear Street do, the outfitting and hair styles of the characters could easily be mistaken for the 90s or today.

Attack of the Demons (2019)

Dead pan

[4/10 · 22 June 2021]

I was intrigued by the films art style which vaguely reminds me of early South Park, something I can see some people being fairly split on whether they liked it or not. Going beyond that, the monsters were all fairly unique and it was glad ot see them go beyond usually zombie fair.

Unfortunately, the voice acting comes off very flat which really comes out when characters should be scared or worried about things. Additionally, many characters lines come off as stilted and strange. There are plenty to reference but I will go with one The character Nat calls out "Are you guys okay? I can't see anything" Kevin responds in a dead pan tone "We are both stuck in the mouth" and the character Jeff follows up equally deadpan "I think I am going to fall"

Hell Fest (2018)

Amazing set pieces, good effects, bad cliches

[6/10 · 21 February 2021]

The eponymous Hell Fest setting is certainly the most impressive part of this film. We are treated to a number of fascinating backdrops, costumes, and effects as our characters travel the seemingly massive horror park. Some of the kills are done quite impressively with practical effects. Finally, the villain has a very nice understated design, and their "reveal" or lack there of I quite liked.

Unfortunately, there's quite a few parts that left me and other viewers frustrated. We have usual cliches of our victims acting painfully stupid. We have oddities such as when the park begins to evacuate, they don't think to turn on any of the lights or shut down the rides.

Very close to a great Halloween flick, but a few eye rolling cliches really hold it back.

Barney Burman's Wild Boar (2019)

Neat monsters but confusingly cut together

[4/10 · 21 February 2021]

The movie impressed me in a few fronts. The claymation was neat and added an unsettling dream effect. The monsters costumes and effects looked impressive especially for the strait to stream affair. Unfortunately, the film, or at least the version I saw on Amazon was poorly cut. Scenes seem to jump about as frequently as the characters do about the landscape with out explanation. The best example unfortunately comes with the end, where the characters drive from the desolate landscape to a suburb, get out of the car and are apparently in the middle of no where, and all while the pig villain seems to catch up their vehicle on foot despite assumedly driving a great distance. Lastly, most of the characters that go on the trip get little introduction and our gone very quickly.

Bite (I) (2015)

Very gross. Good practicals!

[6/10 · 4 February 2021]

First and foremost this is a very gross film. Not the grossest I have seen but easily top 20. The practical effects and set design are very good for a modern film, especially a low budget one. As far as acting goes, its decent. Though I have said it before and will say it again, the "creepy headtilt/twitch" very rarely works and usually comes off cringey. The other core is issue is of course character actions not making much sense. A standard problem in horror.. why not go to the hospital or call the police? Otherwise, good if you like body horror!

Chick Fight (2020)

Not bad foray for female lead mma movie

[6/10 · 2 February 2021]

As far as acting goes, its considerably better than most strait to steam films ive seen, especially in the action martial arts genre. Some of the characters got me to chuckle a few times. Alec Baldwin is good as a washed up coach. Some of the jokes were decent though could have been reeled back slightly. As far as the SJW content goes... its a rough time for the release of the film. SJW content and ideology is being shoved down peoples throats, and as far as this movie goes... there's def some content there but its not too bad. If you are sensitive to that stuff or annoyed by it, might be better to let this one sit on the backburner for a bit. The fight scenes represent amateur/untrained female fighters who fight under something close to MMA rules. It is portrayed closer to realistic. I say that in movie terms though, so you do have punches and kicks sending people through the air, some holds being broken out of in stupid ways, and a soft looking alt girl beating up three girls at once.. typical movie dumb stuff. There is at least one really nice slow motion kick to the face though. The early training is... dumb. Getting punched in the head doesn't make you tougher, might give you brain damage though. That's me nitpicking on behalf of me being a practitioner. The training after that is far more sound. Really not bad, with only the usual movie martial arts flaws, and why shouldn't girls get MMA movies.

Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre (2018)

For a zombie massacre, not many zombies

[3/10 · 15 January 2021]

Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre consists of 3 parties. One, is of a D&D nerd rockband, that unfortunately does not effectively parody nerd culture or band culture like other films and shows have done successfully, thus I wonder why these character elements were included. The second party is a bunch of prison inmates (I think) led by a nazi she wolf esque characters. Most of their actions are them fitting the dumb bimbo stereotype. There acting is bad, as I assume it is intended, though not bad enough to be funny. The final party is the gay Mad Scientist and his slave. The Dr wasn't so bad as an actor, decent actually. The patsy character was a bit too over the top for me. Over all reminds me of something like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but not as fun and with a lot more angst and sex stuff. Also, for a zombie movie, zombies don't show up until 50 minutes in and even when they do they don't have a lot to do with the film, with scenes of the characters playing spin the bottle and truth or dare during the outbreak.

The Woods (2006)

Decent... didn't want to hear about red pubic hair so much

[6/10 · 23 October 2020]

The film has some solid traits. The acting, even by the young cast is solid. The cinematography and set design is good. Though, in the mid 2000's there was a fad of doing these rapid cuts accompanied with loud noises and a photo negative filter. It hasn't aged well and was honestly not popular back then. The mystery of the plot kept me interested. The biggest complaint I have is the protagonist was unlikeable and unrelatable. Agnes Bruckner did fine as her, but ultimately she comes off as a brat, even having a scene where she finds someone in a hospital who asks her for help and she simply turns her back on him. Additionally, the whole bullying subplot feels a bit off. Maybe have the bully show a little less interest in the protagonists "fire crotch".

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

In a world...

[5/10 · 30 July 2020]

Where people don't carry their cellphones, Where people scream constantly when trying to be stealthy, Where people don't make any noise at all when they should be alerting their allies, Where people don't make any effort of defense against a murderer because its supposed to look dramatic on film, In a world where the villains don't even need to try... THE STRANGERS PREY AT NIGHT! Rated Dumb

ClownDoll (2019)

First few minutes tell you everything you need to know

[2/10 · 27 June 2020]

In the first few minutes of the movie we see a clown doll kill a bunch of humans who work very hard to keep their back turned to him and ignore him, despite already seemingly knowing he is a killer doll. This continues through out the movie right up until the end, when the killer doll is walking towards someone and the protagonist merely states "move, you have to trust me, move". It is about as bad as a parody. As far as the rest of the film goes, its lackluster all around. Mediocre acting, painful plot, weak effects, un interesting kills.

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Interesting but unclear where it shouldn't be

[6/10 · 9 May 2020]

The story follows CM Punk as he tries to renovate his strange century plus old house. Strange encounters occur, both within the home and with neighbors and townfolks, which brings me to my biggest issue. Punk/Don has several strange encounters in which the conversations make little sense. Per example, he meets a barkeep in a completely empty bar, who asks him if he is "queer", then states strait men don't do well in his home. The questions come out of no where and Punk/Don never follows up with inquiry like a normal human. The pastor neighbor also makes constant allusions to oddities, clearly indicating town members know something about the house, and yet nobody does what real humans would do and push for further questioning. This all culminates with a dubious explanation at the end that only leads to more questions and non sense. It almost feels like large parts of dialogue were cut from the film that would help it feel less choppy. Ultimately, I think Punk offered a good performance. Some of the imagery was creepy and interesting. I felt it could have been quite good if the story was ironed out.

Trick (II) (2019)

Dumb characters.. dumb movie

[3/10 · 5 May 2020]

This movie follows the stories of several police, who often forget they have firearms, radios, and are really bad at chasing teenagers 5 to 15 feet away from them. One of the biggest complaints constantly lobbied at horror films is stupid main characters, and this point is only made more frustrating when the main characters are trained law enforcement officers. There are countless scenes where the movies eponymous villain taps his knife taunting the officers, who are all armed, and they don't shoot him. There is a scene where the cops don't call for back up or a hospital, stating instead, it will be faster if they drive... If you didn't want your main villain to just be shot and have it ended to early... than maybe have him face less armed foe like teenagers instead. Otherwise, the acting was mostly fine, the camera work was fair.. Just a very dumb film.

Freakish (2016–2018)

Entered blind

[21 April 2020]

I entered this show completely blind without having seen so much as a synopsis. And though the situation initially seems intriguing, it quickly devolves into a Walking Dead copy, complete with zombies making those annoying screechy raaaar sounds.. though since all modern zombies (sadly even in the Resident Evil 2 game remake) sound like that I guess audiences approve. Nitpicking aside... my greater complaint is that the teens don't feel like teens. They are written as being very dramatic with deep depth and have far more emotional wisdom and intelligence than they should. Maybe you disagree, I leave that to you. The other issue, and I have this issue with all zombie media today (they are all seemingly carbon copies of one another) is that the zombies are of no threat. The first one we meet is easily dispatched by an unarmed teenager. This doesn't make your villain feel threatening.. of course like all other zombie media, they barely play a role in this. It is more about the "teen drama".

Into the Dark: School Spirit (2019) Season 1, Episode 11

Not bad!

[7/10 · 19 April 2020]

To start, I always appreciate when young characters actually look young. The characters themselves were decent. I didn't like them, but I am not sure I am supposed to. They are after all a bunch of teenagers spending time in detention. Some time is given to character development, which is appreciated in a slasher film. The actors I felt put forth a reasonably good experience. The twist was fairly expected.. but the ending was fairly good anyhow with final character revelations, some nice lighting, and a great pick for a song by J-LO and K-Ci.

The School (2018)

Children of the Corn in RoadWarrior Costumes get trapped in Silent Hill

[5/10 · 19 April 2020]

This dark fantasy follows a doctor as she travels a graffiti ridden school and encounters strange tribal tattooed children, ghosts, and zombies. The character designs come off as a big gaudy.. but decent. In fact, I feel the same can be said for a number of the films elements such as the acting, the set designs, the characters lines, the story etc. Over the top villains can be very hit or miss... and I feel as Zac's character was a miss. He was very close to something I liked.. maybe he was lacking some more backstory, which could have been subtly sprinkled in. The hospital scenes (in the real world) can be almost completely removed, especially the scene that is a strait rip from the Silent Hill film which had me and my friends sigh at each other. The scenes are not properly utilized to develop any characters or plot devices and only break up the story.. maybe if you shifted all of those to the beginning of the film, used them for character development and a connection to the mothers plight, and had our heroines entrance into the fantasy underworld be a little more unique. Having something like the scene with the mother reading bedtime stories take place at the beginning of the film, only to have Zac repeating those lines to her later might have been more effective than showing the scenes back to back. I am not movie writer though, just a casual viewer so from one viewer to another I say this movie was "almost good".

The Influence (2019)

Dumb

[3/10 · 16 January 2020]

Normally I ramble on about cinematography, effects, acting... but there are just so many dumb moments in this movie it overshadows everything else. You have the main character Nora, who is given no build as to why she does the things she does. You have characters who do painfully stupid things, like when the sister/aunt follows the commands of the evil children including digging her own grave even saying "why are you making me do this?" They are unarmed children for petes sake. There is a part where all the kids are making fun of a little girl, and the teacher doesn't say anything. She just waddles around. It makes you want to pull your hair out. Then the ending is like "oh you have to be evil now" and the girl is like "okay". The end. Bad.

They're Inside (2019)

No lesson learned from from years in the genre

[3/10 · 23 November 2019]

With a film of the found footage genre coming out at late as 2019 you would have assumed that they would have carefully analyzed the genre's misgivings to avoid them... instead all of the worst cliches from that and horror are found in this film. This includes: Filming at times that makes no sense A painfully unlikable main character Soundproof walls (you can't hear someone screaming in the same house?) Nonsensical character decisions. So on and so on. Also.. the film is mostly quiet and absent of score, which can be good. But every once in a while it blasts loud classical music. So don't watch this with headphones or you will suffer hearing damage.