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Reviews
Oppenheimer (2023)
What the hell even is this?
Did I just not 'get' this? I don't like million-dollar action movies or the things they pass for comedies these days, so I was excited when Oppenheimer made its way to streaming. I love Nolan as much as the next guy; his films feel purposeful rather than so much of the pointless cinema that exists today... but this movie was so drab. I love historically-based dramas, true stories, etc. But I'm at an honest loss for words. Maybe it's because it's the weekend and I wasn't as into it as a mindless watch, but I found myself dozing off throughout most of it. It's as if Nolan filmed hours of random scenes and just spliced them together in a hurry to make an excessively long, boring film. I suppose shooting it this way was to give the viewer insight into the way he felt Oppenheimer's brain worked, and the film is meant to reflect that? I honestly don't know. I'm no pyromaniac, but even the bomb detonation sequence was entirely anticlimactic. I guess the whole awful thing just went over my head. 1/10.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Chris Pratt's magic hand
I love that screenwriters and film studios alike have such a lack of creativity or they think of their audience being so stupid/gullible that we'd just accept Chris Pratt's character having some connection with dinosaurs that they all do his bidding whenever he puts his magic hand up.
5 minutes in and I was already rolling my eyes. Charlotte Lockwood isn't an interesting character-she's so lackluster in fact that we don't care her, and I suppose she's meant to serve as the emotional core of the film? I can't believe Laura Dern and Sam Neill came back for this.
Sam Neill asks "why would anyone do that?" at one point in the film and I keep asking myself why would anyone put this piece of garbage masquerading as "cinema" out in the world? At the what do actors step up and say "this is crap" or are their paychecks so big they don't care anymore?
Renfield (2023)
Nic makes the movie
Sigh.
I wanted so much to love this film, but the tepid script and unnecessary plot points make it almost unlikeable. I gave it a 6 because, surprisingly, Nic Cage makes the movie with his portrayal of Dracula. It's campy, but not cheesy, and there's an extremely fine line there-Cage walks it like a professional tightrope walker. I wish he'd actually been in the film more than he was, more than the titular character. Nothing against Hoult-he's a wonderful actor and is becoming increasing better at his craft as the years go by. The "crime" family was entirely unnecessary, as well as Awkwafina's character... cringe. I wouldn't mind seeing Cage portray Dracula in a stand-alone film, because in this film the entire story lacks any true bite (see what I did there?)
Scream VI (2023)
Not the SCREAM we love & know
I hated it. And it makes me so so sad to see a franchise that I love dearly being connected to a sequel like this. I loved the change of setting-that was a definite plus. The different intro was promising. Sidney's presence not being in the film is almost its own ghostly metaphorical character. Sidney is Scream, and her absence is painful to witness, so much so that you might as well not call this a Scream film. I hated the reveal as well, just a rehashed motive reminiscent of the motive in Scream 2. I LOVE Scream 2, it's my favorite film in the entire franchise, and Mrs Loomis is the best reveal/most underrated killer out of them all, but for the directors to talk about subverting expectations, they did the exact opposite regarding this film's motive. It does feel a bit too long, and I never thought I'd say a longer Scream movie would be a negative. The chase scene/call with Gale was great, though not as epic as the one in Scream 2. Much of the dialogue was cringey, including Gale saying that Sidney "deserves her happy ending." Really?! They made Gale say the most annoying comment used by fans online about whether Sidney should or shouldn't be involved? Ugh. Kirby, who's a character I've never cared for, was so underutilized (she should've been the killer/no survivor has ever been that, and it would've been a way to turn everything on its axis). These directors had the opportunity to create something fresh & great here, but failed.
Glass Onion (2022)
This is what constitutes for a murder mystery these days?
Boy, what an absolute load of garbage. It's painfully obvious who the killer is from the jump. Maybe that was the director's original intention, but, if that's the case, then watching the supposed ensuing 'mystery' unravel isn't at all fun to watch. Quite the opposite, since it seems we aren't meant to care one bit about this generally awful group of people that are connected to Miles. I'm surprised that one of the best Bonds in cinema history is finding any joy in this poorly thought out, badly accented character. The movie is easily about 30 minutes too long and it certainly lives up to its glass onion title - you peel back the top layer and there isn't much there to like at all.
Heartstopper (2022)
Heartwarming & genuinely sweet
I haven't continually smiled through a series... well, ever, until now. I'm not a fan of LGBTQ genre even being a gay man myself, but this show encapsulates the sweetness of youth before the world gets in and destroys it. I was a teenager in the 90s when being this open about who you are at that age wasn't really possible. Bravo to makers of this show for capturing the feeling of first love and not tarnishing it with vulgarity, drugs or anything overtly sexual like most of today's depictions. I can only say I wish this had been my teenage years, and now I'm off to read the graphic novels!