mfcoder-imdb Reviews

Creature in the Woods (2017)

"Really quite poor" is generous

[1/10 · 13 September 2018]

Found footage in the style of many others; unoriginal plot; poor dialogue; badly acted. There's nothing of merit here. Avoid wasting your time.

Three guys go into woods to make a survivalist documentary. They are all annoying, illogical, thin, pointless characters, making poor decisions, repeating dialogue, situations, decisions, ... it's all appalling. You can guess what happens, what scenes there will be and how it ends. So save your time and don't watch.

The prologues/epilogue scenes are silly - that's a static camera they pick up, not a video camera, so it wouldn't have been the camera providing the found footage.

The early bar scenes have odd sound quality. I think it was recorded, then audio added later. Badly. The bar tender seemed to be the best actor on show.

You can't "spoil" this movie - the makers already did that.

When it ended, I wasn't 100% convinced it wasn't a parody, such was the unrelentingly dreadfulness of it.

Mythica: A Quest for Heroes (2014)

Much, much better than expected

[7/10 · 15 August 2015]

You watch a movie on the SyFy channel, entitled "Mythica: A Quest for Heroes" and your expectations aren't set high. Released this year, and you think "uh-huh". However, Mythica, is a surprising treat.

The opening, pre-credit scene, with clunky cgi leads you to lump what's to come in with the majority of SyFy's home-grown output, but pretty soon you release this is much better.

The plot is decent enough, the script is good, and the actors give a good show, especially the female lead, in a strong, interesting role.

We're in low-budget territory, but the "flash-back/forward" scenes are nicely done, and it's only the larger 'monsters' that suffer from the lack of budget. Fight scenes are so-so, but there's a decent depth to the characters, and the story. It's pleasant, and up-lifting ... just because it's low-budget, they haven't scrimped on the script, and it's nice to see a fantasy tale handled seriously by all concerned.

The first part in three films, it stands fine by itself, whilst leading into the larger story. Some characters are a little thin, but this is 'D&D' territory, so there's a typical collection of characters to expect.

This isn't a Hollywood blockbuster, but for what it is, it does very well. I'd rather watch a movie trying to be something, than one which just pads time, without any originality. Mythica is a good, entertaining watch. Let's hope the sequels live up to this good opening.

Well done to all involved.

The Strain (2014–2017)

If The Simpsons did horror...

[5/10 · 22 September 2014]

6 episodes in, and this isn't good.

The Strain starts off as an interesting take on the vampire theme - imagine vampirism is a strain of a deadly virus, which turns people into vampiric creatures; and "patient zero" is a malevolent creature aimed at spreading his sickness. Mix in some modern-day 'heroes' in the form of a CDC response team, and add the wisdom of an old protagonist of the chief bad guy, with a sprinkling of sinister bad guys lurking in shadows.

However, this initial interesting premise is let down in a variety of ways. We have a number of clichéd characters (would you believe the hero is an ex-drunk in mid custody battle for his kid? And his ex now has a slimy corporate boyfriend ... well that's not very common); our hero has a young female colleague with the hots for him; and a former hobbit who is in the pay of the bad guys, cos his wife has cancer, and they might be able to help him. So that's a check for characters-we've- seen-before.

Then would you believe that the hero's boss is a pen-pushing ass, who when confronted with evidence of the viral outbreak would prefer to hush it up, rather than ... well, I'm not quite sure what his motivation is for this bizarre stance. But either way, when he sees a video of a vampire attack on hero-doc, he decides to send the FBI after the doc, rather than alert the authorities. Come on ...

Apart from the collection of recycled characters, the biggest problem is that this vampiric virus spreads and infects dozens, hundreds of people, without anyone appearing to notice. As though every week the world is reset again. Just like The Simpsons. For example:

• An infected rock star kills a doctor. Yet his assistant hires someone to "clean up the mess", then we never hear from her again.

• As early as episode 3 vampires attack a hospital, killing several people (or turning them into vampires - it's a bit hit and miss, and not sure how it works as a long-term plan for the bad guys anyway). The next day, no mention of it anywhere.

• Guy arrested for killing a vampire - no-one says "hey, have you seen the body of the dude he just killed?"

• City morgue wiped out by vampires ... not a word mentioned.

There's also an embarrassingly bad sequence with hero arrested and interrogated by the stupidest, most 2-dimensional FBI agents you're ever likely to see (yeah ... they don't buy his video of a vampire being killed either), when the only evidence the FBI has for chasing the hero is a clip of video showing hero and pal dragging a vampire corpse. For some reason they're only after him, and not his pal who is free to wonder the city as and when.

We even have a scene where hero-doc returns to his old house to tell his wife and child to get out of Dodge - but slimy new boyfriend sells him out to the feds. So it's not only re-hashed characters, but re-hashed scenes. 'Mom' then sends son off to school ... that's what I'd do if a CDC doctor told me there was a deadly virus and I had to leave town pronto.

Why watch it? Well, it *really* is mindless entertainment, sometimes painful to watch, but it's nicely shot, and thankfully a short season. Also David Bradley is much the best of the cast, and worth watching - throwing himself into the Van Helsing role with gusto.

When so many good programmes are dropped after 1 season, it's a little sad to hear this has been renewed for a 2nd. There has to be better in this genre out there, surely?

***Update***

After 10 episodes things have slightly improved. Reasons:

• there are factions in the vampire fraternity;

• the various good-guys have now met up to form their 'fellowship';

• it's decently unsentimental (people die ... people you think won't);

So, enough to have an interest in Season 2; but they can't persist with the "authorities don't know" line, as we've had cops killed on duty, schools attacked, government agents killed. All things that would bring national agents to the party. Just cos the internet is down wouldn't end communications (landlines; short-wave; fax; satellite; etc.)

The Inside (II) (2012)

Half-decent found-footage low budget horror

[6/10 · 3 December 2013]

This film is about 80% "found footage" so if Blair-Witch-like puts you off, probably not for you. Shot on video, it has the feeling of low- budget, but much better than many low-budget horrors.

Firstly, although the acting amongst the females is a little too 'screamy' they're in quite an unpleasant situation almost from the start, so it's understandable. The script is fairly realistic, and the antagonists that arrive are suitably menacing and unpleasant - this isn't a film full of nice people, and it's definitely worth its rating, more for the scenarios, than for any graphic blood-letting.

The story itself is fairly interesting, and the suspense quite gripping. It feels as though there's a prequel story to be told which would hold my attention.

Not a stand-out movie, but evidently a "one-man" show (written, directed, produced by same guy) that is far better than similar ones in this genre, and you definitely feel it has merit.

There are more than a few 'huh?' moments in terms of what the main characters do, but there is much left untold - and I feel it's okay for not every aspect of the events to be tidied up and given a neat explanation.

In summary, much better than I expected. Professional looking, and well executed. A film-maker to encourage and look out for.

Tormented (I) (2009)

A not very-convincing horror tale with a message

[4/10 · 3 December 2009]

The best thing about Tormented is the opening and closing credits, which were original and interesting. The opening 10 minutes weren't bad, but from then on things go downhill and rarely pick up.

The main problem with this film was the poor storyline and script. Direction and acting were okay, and quite stylish at points, but the storyline itself wasn't sufficient to tread a path between horror and comedy.

The bullying is over-the-top and unbelievable, certainly for the age of people involved; characters were kept paper-thin; and the script riddled with clichés. You simply didn't believe what was happening, nor that, when events turn nasty, the protagonists greet them with such an indifferent attitude. Logic is out of the window - a school with 3 recent deaths, an unexplained accident, and a disappearance - yet no sign of the police, and the school still open ... hmmmmmmm.

The bottom line is, this is another film that seems incapable of representing British school students as they really are, and opts for cliché which doesn't go far enough for parody. The result leaves the viewer too detached to show much interest in the events, and there aren't enough laughs to retain interest on a purely comedic level (the only laugh coming from the discovery of the 'full condom', and we have to wait an hour for that).

Of interest to those who might like Skins, if only to see something much worse. A shame.

Escape Into Night (1972)

The scariest kids programme ever

[10/10 · 21 June 2008]

Like many who have commented here, I recall this from my early childhood, and it defines 'cult' - something you watch once, and will remember for the rest of your days. I've never seen it other than when it was originally shown on itv, at 4:40 on Wednesdays I think.

My recollection is of a girl who draws a house with a boy in one of the windows. Then when she falls asleep she dreams of being in the house, but because she hasn't drawn any legs for the boy, he's in a wheelchair, or Ill in some way. Then I recall her drawing the animals; which become the rocks with eyes, that advance slowly toward the house. And her frustration about everything going wrong, and then scribbling all of the house, and those scribbles turning into iron bars covering the windows in her dream (but curled as though a scribble). I don't recall the radio, but vaguely remember something about a man/father arriving. Beyond that I'm lost - no idea how it ended.

In comparison to what is shown today this was truly terrifying, and very imaginative. I've never read the book though.

I'd love to re-watch this programme. If anyone has any episodes I'd love them to get in touch. I've watched 'Paperhouse' but just not the same.