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Farewell Mr. Baker (2021)
Hilarious
I thought this was the best short at PUFF 2021. The person playing the titular Mr Baker is an incredibly gifted physical comedian.
We're Not Here to Fuck Spiders (2020)
Effective
Extremely effective found footage movie that introduces a very realistic world of lowlife characters . This world is so real you may question if this is indeed a documentary. The tension builds, slowly at first, and then explodes in a riveting climax. This low budget gem has been cleaning up on the festival circuit -- for good reason!
Gorp (1980)
I got Gorped
Picked this up on DVD after seeing an interesting trailer for it on a compilation. I wanted to like this. I really did. It seems like the writers had a lot of ideas and tried to throw them all into the mix. This means that no time is spent with any of the characters really. None of the characters are really likeable or relatable, save for maybe Fran Drescher's character -- but maybe that's just because I LIKE Fran Drescher. But there are all these minor side characters that we'll get a scene or two with and they are gags that ALL fall flat. I'm sure the makers of GORP thought they were loading the movie to the brim with hilarious set-pieces and gags, but none of them really work and the whole thing is an incoherent mess. I don't know if they were just trying to out-ANIMAL HOUSE ANIMAL HOUSE or what, but the writing wasn't strong enough to touch that one. And as others have pointed out, this movie is pretty rapey -- which is kind of in line with 80s teen sex comedies, but this one feels extra gross. And I'm no prude when it comes to this sort of material when taken in context... but some of the content here was stomach-turning and played for laughs that never connected. This gets an extra half star for Fran Drescher.
Slashlorette Party (2020)
Microbudget fun with some surprises
I'm a big fan of Paul Ragsdale and Angie De Alba's previous effort, Streets of Vengeance. Paul, Angie and their crew really know how to stretch a dollar and deliver the goods. In Slashlorette Party, they have upped their technical game. This is well-lit and well-shot. Everyone does a good job in their roles, and it is cool to see A&P Productions favorite Ginger Lynn Allen doing a fine job in another serious role. This movie is a love letter to 80s slashers but there are definitely some surprises in how they've updated the storyline to buck against some of the classic tropes. There are some really fun and effective gore pieces, so the gorehounds will be pleased. This is a very entertaining film with a few moments of real humor. The most original ideas in cinema right now are coming from the Underground Film scene and this crew continues to demonstrate that they are leaders in the field.
Sheborg Massacre (2016)
Fun low-budget flick with a lot of heart
I felt like I had to drop a review here just to counter the review that described this movie as "misandrist." I guess some fragile male got his fee fees hurt watching this fun low-budget comic book of a film. Clearly the people making it had a lot of fun. It's crazy enough to where you will overlook the production's budgetary shortcomings. At first I had the impression that the filmmakers had never met a real punk or a real nerd in their lives and tried to approximate them onscreen, but then I convinced myself that this was intentional and part of the charm and maybe some kind of Aussie humor that I don't quite get. Reminded me a bit of the hilarious Lieutenant Jangles. Anyway, fun movie. Worth a rent.
Masked Mutilator (2019)
Fun ultra low budget slasher with heart
Nothing groundbreaking, but fun and engaging little slasher film. I guess it remained unfinished for decades. There are newly-shot wrap around segments that I didn't care for at all. I think the movie would have been much better without them. Once you get past the wrap-around, you get into a fun, action-packed slasher gem. The characters are solid and though the acting isn't top-tier, everyone still does a great job. A lost gem. I'm glad it saw release.
Neil Breen's 5 Film Retrospective (2020)
I wanted to love this.
As a fan of Mr Breen's ouvre, I had high hopes for this "masterclass." My 5 out of 10 star review has nothing to do with the numerous technical flaws in the camerawork, sound, and lighting -- if you appreciate Neil Breen, you overlook any of this. Put simply, this is about 30 minutes of interesting information which gets repeated over and over, padding out to five and a half hours. It's a bit of a chore, even for Breen fans and completists. If you find a highlight reel on YouTube or elsewhere, you can save yourself a lot of time.
Verotika (2019)
I really wanted to like this
I saw Glenn Danzig's movie VEROTIKA yesterday. The reports of "it's the horror movie version of THE ROOM" may be exaggerated... in that THE ROOM is at least entertaining. It's not really "so bad it's good" unless you enjoy laughing at Glenn Danzig failing. It's an anthology film with an embarrassing hostess and three stories that go nowhere. The first story is the most original but it has a bunch of people doing bad foreign accents and one is an overly-botoxed model who has eyeballs for nipples -- this is never explained. And her eyes cry tears onto a spider which turns into a hulking eight-armed man-spider who breaks women's necks, but only while eyeball girl is asleep -- because he's like Freddy Krueger or something. The second story is basically "what if Leatherface was a stripper" and the third story is the same old Elizabeth Bathory retelling we've seen dozens of times, only this time with no plot whatsoever. If you enjoy shots that go on for way too long -- like zooms that zoom all the way in and then all the way out and then back in again -- this may be the movie for you.
Bliss (2019)
An achievment
A true low-budget gem here. A modern take on both the drug film and vampire mythology which delves into the parallels between the creative process and the need for a fix. The imagery, editing, and, especially, the sound design are masterful. This is the first film I've sen by this director, but I believe he has a bright future. My only two minor complaints were: I didn't find the main character likable enough to develop a real connection, and I thought there was too much focus on nightmarish images during the drug sequences. I think it would have been a better dynamic if the "bliss" of the "drug" was represented in a more delightful way to offset the "come down." It would have better helped to sell why the main character was chasing the high. But what the hell do I know? These are minor quibbles. The movie is freaking great and worth a watch.
Dangerous Men (2005)
Should be bigger than "The Room"
Like Tommy Wiseau's THE ROOM, John S Rad's DANGEROYS MEN seems to exist in it's own world, completely devoid of self-awareness. This lack of self-awareness, in both cases results in cinema which isn't afraid to break the rules (mostly because it isn't aware of the rules), which is at the same time completely "authentic" in its ineptitude. THE ROOM has gone on to become a household name while DANGEROUS MEN is still very much a cult title. DANGEROUS MEN is certainly the more entertaining of the two films and the John S Rad story is as deserving of a Hollywood treatment a'la THE DISASTER ARTIST. I saw this movie when I received a review copy of the DVD from Drafthouse. I went into it knowing nothing about it. It is the first time I ever finished a movie and then started it over and rewatched it immediately a second time because I couldn't believe what I had just seen. It was a huge inspiration, especially after hearing John Rad's story. I dedicated my first film, THE THETA GIRL, to John S Rad in the end credits.
Lasso (2017)
Fun take on the generic slasher
This movie is for fans of the slasher genre. If you aren't one of those to begin with, then you might not care for it. But if you are a fan of the genre, then LASSO delivers the goods in terms of suspense and plentiful well-executed gore scenes. It also messes with some of the formulas in a fun way. Rather than hapless oversexed teens being dispatched by the bloodthirsty cowboys, we have a tour bus full of old folks. There's something extra fun about seeing old people fight back. There were a couple of scenes where I found myself clapping in my chair. This isn't CITIZEN KANE, but as far as modern slasher films go, it gets very high marks from this fan. A solid 9 out of 10.
Livescream (2018)
Unique viewing experience
I had the opportunity to screen Michelle Iannantuono's feature film debut LIVESCREAM at the Crimson Screen Film Festival and was blown away. It's an interesting concept for a film, taking the "found footage" concept into a new dimension of "real time events" unfolding as a livestream of videogame play. Gunnar Willis shines as the gamer who is forced to play a haunted game that kills off players and viewers. For this role, he learned 75 pages of dialogue and delivered the entirety as a monologue which was done in 3 takes. The most unique aspect of the experience is that as a viewer you are constantly scanning back and forth between the gameplay window, the videochat window, and the text window. It's pretty groundbreaking that there are VERY emotional moments in the film that are the result of simple text being typed into a chat window. Audience members at the screening were tearing up over one particular scene where a photograph puts a face to one of the faceless texters. It's WEIRD how much power a simple photograph of a person holds in the context of the film. I'm not a gamer and I was moved by LIVESCREAM. I suspect hardcore gamers that "get" all the references that were lost on me will enjoy this movie on an entirely different level.
Blonde Death (1984)
Amazing, overlooked low-budget classic.
Blonde Death is a minor masterpiece. James Robert Baker's dialogue style is like Faulkner writing for a John Waters film. This is a very entertaining character study, and if it were a bigger budget production, shot on film, it would be considered one of the great indie films of the 80s. The Angry Samoans soundtrack is also fantastic and fitting. More people should see this.
Spent (2017)
Independence Day
I had an opportunity to see Spent at a festival screening and found myself laughing out loud through much of the film. The story concerns the wife and son of a miserly old man who is dying from a brain tumor. The two have been planning ways to spend the old man's money after his death, only to find that their "Independence Day" is actually a "Fourth of July Miracle," when the old man's tumor goes into remission. Unable to cope with the return of this unwanted family member and his miserly hoarding of the family's finances, the two, along with their gold-digging love interests, all individually plan his demise with a lethal dose of rat poison. There are a few unexpected twists and lots of downright funny dialogue. The dialogue is the best part of the entire film by first-time director Lisa Mikitarian and I look forward to seeing what she is capable of for future films. The cinematography and production values far exceed the film's meager budget. If I had to offer any criticism, it would be that the pacing could have been tightened just a bit, but that's a minor quibble. If you get the opportunity to catch this, do yourself a favor.
13 Dolls in Darkness (2017)
What if they made an 80s slasher in the 1920s?
Austrailian director Zeda Müller gets one of the cardinal rules of rising above the no-budget indiefilm muck: if you're going to do something on the cheap, you need to make it memorable and you need to have an angle.
13 Dolls in Darkness stands alone in the world of horror films because of its unique take on the genre tropes of 70s giallos and 80s slashers. It is shot in the style of German expressionist silent film, complete with title cards in lieu of recorded dialogue.
The film will be challenging to some viewers in the same way that watching (real) old silent films can be challenging: the contrasty, flickering images can be a bit washed out (in this case, intentionally), and the lack of dialogue and diegetic sound make it difficult to follow unless you are paying close attention -- in other words, you can't put this thing on as background noise -- it demands attention. In the case of this film, I'd say the attention is warranted. The camera angles and composition are compelling and the story, while intentionally trope-heavy, is interesting if you are a giallo fan.
It's pretty fun to see these tropes and actual gore played out as if it were shot in the early 20th century. The only differences between this film and a 20s era film are the use of some pre-recorded sound effects (church bells, trains, door creaks, etc -- not unlike what you may have heard in an old radio show from that era), and much of the music has a more modern "sound-design" feel -- more typical of modern horror than anything from the silent film era. That might be one of my few criticisms of this film: I found myself wishing for a melodramatic piano score, more in line with what you would associate with silent film. Additionally, I would have liked to have seen this done in period costumes as opposed to some of the more modern costume choices, but I'm assuming Müller was being intentionally anachronistic.
Müller is a new filmmaker and certainly one to watch. I'd love to see what she could do with a real budget. 13 Dolls in Darkness is worth your time if you are a fan of giallos and slashers, but have no interest in watching your one-millionth no-budget Friday the 13th clone. This film is truly something unique and, while possibly challenging for some viewers, is a perfect example of how clever ideas always trump inflated budgets.