sarahalub Reviews

Step Up 2: The Streets (2008)

step up 2 the script

[2/10 · 20 April 2008]

Its a film about dance...but unlike the 80's, where films about dance were, although not that great, loved due to their element of campy fun, (I'm sure 'Footloose' wasn't intended to be a groundbreaking reflection of the struggles of American youth)step up 2 is actually just a really bad film, which happens to be about dance. Kind of like when they make a really bad film which happens to be about rapping, or a really bad film which happens to be about gangs...its in that vein of things.

The first problem lies with the fact that this film is actually called 'step up 2 the streets' and lacks punctuation in the main film title (very thankful for IMDb to actually use the initiative to include a hyphen). Anyways the 'film' itself is crying out for one key ingredient...a script. They say that there's only a certain amount of story lines in the world, this film very much backs up this theory. I wonder, where have i seen this scenario before? Save the last dance? you've been served? Honey?...no seriously my mind's gone blank...where could a dance-off/turf war/love story combo have possibly been included in a movie before? curious.

Apart from the storyline/characters/dialogue epitomising everything I could possibly loath in a movie neatly rolled into one, its the reverse racism in this film thats my main problem. Did the makers not think 'hmmm...we might offend young black men by portraying them as controlling, criminal, aggressive members of society who's only purpose in life is turf war..but hey, why not take the risk'...which they did, and unbelievably enough it also manages to be racist towards everyone..young white kids too... by making the entire cast look like illiterate baggy-trouser-wearing ridiculous-hand-gesture laughable-one liner idiots.

The horrific use of slang is mind-numbingly awful, and the wardrobe guys really didn't need to make everyone look so er 'bright'. Plot itself involves young, poor white girl from the hood with a black legal guardian (powerful!), and her story..in the world of dance. oh did i mention there's a turf war? not a social reflection...just a bit naff.

Dancing was good though.

Shrooms (2007)

why...

[22 December 2007]

'thats what we call the indigenous people'....

says the "Irish" boy with the remarkably uncanny east London accent, whilst in observation of the local Irish folk picking up roadkill for dinner...er racist much? anyways despite the shockingly unauthentic accents, (well just the Irish ones that is), and the massive (and that is an understatement) clichés, all thrown at me full force within the first EIGHT MINUTES (ladies and gentlemen we have a winner), I proceeded no further in my investigation of this 'film' (and it was an investigation...I didn't fathom that a film by the name of "shrooms" would be in any way a thought provoking or groundbreaking affair).

Usually a movie like this would be seen out of sheer entertainment in a 'so bad its good' vein of things.

this was actually so bad...that it was switched off (precisely eight minutes later). The blonde virgin, stoner king of 'shrooms', and jock stereotypes made me yawn with despair. As for the Irish boy (clearly originally from Romford), don't even get me started.

Avoid

Alpha Dog (2006)

was this a joke 'dawgg'?

[1/10 · 26 April 2007]

A Hollywood take on a true story can either a)work really well, providing you get the cast right, or b)not work....at all. This film proves the latter.Goes to show that even if you do shove Sharon Stone and Justin in the same movie, no amount of shiny teeth or lip gloss will save the vacuous end product.

OK i'm being harsh, I suppose the idea was partly there (well it actually happened so they didn't need much help conjuring up the script): suburban spoilt rich kids not appreciated their life of excess, kill someone by mistake, and get what they deserve. Unfortunately you're not left with the feeling that anyone was genuinely that bothered, and you don't really care very much.Does that mean i'm emotionally stunted? I dunno

Justin 'cry me a river' Timberlake took to his street talking, weed smoking white rapper wannabe character rather too well. Possibly the most unconvincing,comic use of slang since 'Harsh times' this 'rich kids do the hood' was at times condescending (as well as hilarious, without meaning to be). Snake trousers (bless him) walks around almost parodying himself throughout, was his character even necessary?

The party scenes were the ultimate travesty-exaggerated, over-done, and unlike 'Kids' or 'Bully' (which may i point out were a much more convincing portrayal of dysfunctional youths),these particular teens seem too far-fetched and stylised to be realistic.

I guess the only thing i could say about this film which is positive (because they didn't make it easy for me)is the fact that its a different take on influential American society. The adults portrayed seemed either too caught up with their children (a la Sharon stone), or not caring at all (timberlake's dad), this is refreshing in comparison to 'OC' style representations.

Other then that, buy it on DVD, and give it to your 16 year old cousin who wears 50 cent hoodies. I'm sure they'll appreciate it more.

Apocalypto (2006)

The essence of human instincts

[8/10 · 14 January 2007]

2007 has found its film of the year in the first month, and if this is anything to go by then hopefully it's a sign of things to come (we pray). This film is, in the simplest form, brilliant.

Moving,thought provoking, disturbing and certainly not for the faint hearted, Apocalpypto deals with the basic primal instincts of man, and does it with passion and sincerity. The violence of man in his natural habitat, survival instincts, human suffering and our relationship and connection to the world we live in are all issues which are raised and highlighted.

In all fairness, the critique of the film's violence is by no means an exaggeration, its a violent film. However within its context, the violence is not unnecessary; we're dealing with tribes. Looking at it from a Eurocentric viewpoint, its not easy for our oh so 'civilised' society to watch such acts of brutality without being unnerved, and dismissing them as the subconscious workings of a crazy director. However not only are these 'sickening' acts absolutely essential to the context as a whole, but they are essential in helping us to identify and relate to the characters and the events that take place.

Killings, torture, rape, and brutality are key to this film, but alongside this are themes such as humanity, brotherhood, family and loyalty. This is life we're dealing with, and more to the point, ancient cultures.

So if you're expecting a mind numbing action movie with loads of SFX this is the wrong movie to be watching(try smokin aces instead). Like The Passion Of Christ Apocalypto is by no means an easy film to watch, In fact Gibson makes sure you suffer with the characters for the entire two and a half hours . Like The Passion, its also not the type of film that you can watch 5 times with the same vigour.

The cinematography and feel of this film is astounding. The whole texture of Apocalypto is authentic, and strives to stay away from 'action movie' territory. A key part of what makes a good film good is how believable the characters are, and these characters were excellent.

A highly moving and very memorable affair, Gibson has yet again outdone himself.

Smokin' Aces (2006)

oh Ray, how you have stooped....

[1/10 · 12 January 2007]

Ray Ray Ray....did 'Revolver' teach you nothing?? For a man who was once in a Scorsese movie, its hard to imagine he'd end up like this....sunk to depths of the lowest degree. Well hopefully the reviews this film will no doubt receive will teach Mr. Liotta a thing or two about 'money over credibility', because this film is enough to suffocate anyone's career. (And Affleck should be ashamed of himself... wasn't 'Gigli' enough of a lesson!!!READ the Scripts in future Ben)

'Now thats what i call gangsters 2006'

Possibly a more fitting title for such a dire film.

Please allow me to elaborate

Think of possibly every single 'villian' cliché in cinematic history, presented to us in a rapid 'MTV' style manner, all after one guy, and all introduced to us within the first ten minutes of the film.

You've got Ace, (the guy they wanna kill because he double crossed the mafia, or something along those lines....it all becomes a blur after a while), the million members of the mafia (nice of them to explain what 'La Cosa Nostra' stands for right at the start, and then fail to explain anything else from that point onwards). and then comes the villains

In no particular order:

Some guy who takes on the deranged Hannibal lecter type character, (you gotta have the psycho), followed by the redneck Neo-Nazi brothers with the 'Mad Max' style attire, (and the inconspicuous chainsaws....discreet), Alisha Keys makes an appearance as the 'badass' street talking contract killer (thus bringing a more urban flavour to whole melting pot), you've got the eastern European master of disguise (who makes faces out of latex, and disguises himself as his dead victims...cunning)and a few other characters (who you soon forget about)...headache is the only way of describing this intro.

After half an hour you're still probably as perplexed as you where within the first five minutes, because nothing is clarified (fine...a linear narrative, as we know is not the be and and end of all of films), but some kind of coherence is surely a must.

Anyway in an over the top (being an understatement) way they all go to bring ace back to the mafia, trying to each get there before anyone else. The big twist (i say twist, although i really failed to care by this point), comes at the end when you find out the truth about why the mafia wanted ace really.

OK heres what i don't get:

The man who makes the faces from latex.....how on earth did he manage to kill Hugo, mould the guys face, let it dry, put it on, (powder it up with a bit of makeup), and get a wig identical to Hugo's actual hairdo...all in the space of what appeared to be no more than 10 minutes!

Alisha keys' character.....runs off with that guy who worked for Ace, after about 2 seconds of meeting him, and allows her 'friend' to get gunned down by police, whilst shes outside with prince charming arranging a date location!rather unfair.. and WHY was she not arrested????

why were there another lot of prostitutes coming to aces penthouse when about 6 had just left! has this man never heard of chlamydia!

This whole thing was very very laughable,especially the last part of the film with the '90's action movie' style blowing up and gunning down of everything in sight.

I'm sure this movie wishes it was a Tarentino, because it tries so hard to be cool...but we all know that when you try too hard it shows. It upsets me that people are even trying to find comparisons between this movie and 'Goodfellas', because its like comparing a Mcdonalds to fine French cuisine.

In Liotta's defence however, he was possibly the best thing about this mess of a movie. He just wasted his talents on such a bad movie.

Boys Don't Cry (1999)

thought provoking and beautifully made

[8/10 · 31 July 2006]

Based on a true story, "Boys Don't Cry" is a beautifully made, superbly acted, sensitive and poignant film about a girl (Teena Brandon) who has a gender identity crisis and feels she is a boy (Brandon). Set in small town America her need to express herself as a man means she can never be known as once being a woman. Brandon falls in love, and makes friends with the local boys. However it isn't long before his true identity is uncovered.

Hilary swank's performance in this film is exceptional, So believable is her portrayal of Brandon, that it is actually hard to initially imagine that she is in fact a woman. The conclusion to this film is harrowing and very moving. As hard as it may be to watch, it is intended to be that disturbing in order to make the audience think.

The wonderful aspect of this film is that the moral lesson that is given to the audience isn't inflicted upon them in a preachy or patronising way. It simply makes you think and question watch you see. I highly recommend this film to anyone who wants to see brilliant acting, fantastic cinematography and a excellent storyline.

Team America: World Police (2004)

TEAM America....F**K YEA!!

[8/10 · 15 April 2006]

Satarical, crude, and vulgar...this film is NOT to be missed.

Who would've thought that puppets swearing, having sex and killing people for two hours could be so hilarious. More to the point, who would've thought it would end up being as sharp, intelligent and socially relevant as it is...absolute genius.

Everyone gets ripped to shreds in this little gem of a film, no-one is spared...not even Matt Damon.

So if you're expecting a anti-Bush, anti-republican type of film,(a la Fahrenheit 9/11) then you're sadly mistaken. This film is a scathing attack of absolutely every aspect of the 'War on Terror', even the conscientious celebrities, and the ranting hot-dog munching Michael Moore.

not only do these guys manage to insult everyone, they even manage to throw in some parodies of other films- the action sequence in France at the start is the FUNNIEST thing I've seen this year, and the 'American' attack on Terror, in the style of so many Hollywood big budget Action films, actually had me crying with laugher.

Anyone who watches this film will totally GET the jokes-(apart from Bush maybe?)and if you're a south park fan already you will NOT be disappointed. The bit with 'lease' the musical...i rewound that bit about 5 times. So wrong, and yet so funny.

Bet the makers of 'Thunderbirds' are really p*ssed off.

Crash (I) (2004)

If you're big on predictability, this is the film for you

[1/10 · 5 April 2006]

Intended as an eye-opening look at western multi-racial society, it focuses on two days in LA and a selection of characters,from varying cultures and backgrounds, who would never otherwise cross paths, doing so. The characters are all left with a 'lesson' learnt by the end of the film, and the audience are thus left with something to make them think...or does it? Because we've seen this all before haven't we? the racist resentful cop, the successful black director who doesn't quite 'fit in' with his white counter parts, the intelligent and yet thieving black youths from the 'hood'...lets not forget the overly tattooed Hispanic locksmith.

The racial and cultural stereotypes, are cringe worthy and patronising in equal doses. Whats worse is the way in which they are represented to us in a way which seeks to make us question our own outlook on life. The strong and fairly comic 'open your eyes to the world theme' which runs throughout makes it incredibly tedious and unchallenged.

I genuinely wanted to enjoy this film; the cast were brilliant, the acting was superb, and the film, visually, looked great. Unfortunately I what i ended up with was overrated, frustratingly predictable and biased.