Change Your Image
Built11
Reviews
The Three Musketeers (2011)
Putting aside all of that...
Putting aside logic and believability, this film should be entertaining in a swashbuckling and adventurous kind of way. Granted, the film makes no attempt to adhere to Dumas' novel, and in fact gleefully heads off in opposite directions altogether; about 15 opposite directions all at once! The mish-mash of styles, of gimmicks, props, sets and periods all work to keep the viewer nicely confused and generally in the dark as to any sense of authenticity that the film might claim. The main focus is on characters who aren't Musketeers, like Milady de Winter, who is sexy, young, sexy, talented, sexy, treacherous, sexy, seemingly immortal, and who oozes blatant sex appeal; all of which assets are especially odd for a woman in Europe of the early 1600s.
But putting aside all that, this film is entertaining. Granted, the characters are flat and one-dimensional, and little effort has been made to actually develop them beyond caricatures. Milady, played with inexplicable gusto as a dangerous sexpot who offers little else to the story beyond director Anderson's vain attempts to inappropriately inject sex-appeal into a story that has no place for it. Lerman attempts to give D'Artagnan something beyond the script's awful humor, but is, perhaps, constrained by the director's seeming insistence on creating a smart-ass parody instead of a believable and realistic character. The rest of the main cast struggle to give reality to their characters, but are also restricted by the amateurish script and weak direction into portraying their parts as pencil-sketches instead of oil-paintings.
But putting aside all of that, this film is entertaining. Granted, creating physics-bending air-ships with cannons that manage to achieve astonishing forward velocity with tiny sails (not to mention lifting what must be tons of weight with rather small balloons) may not have been a good idea. And dodging bullets and cannon-balls in physically impossible slo-mo scenes lifted directly from "The Matrix" may not have been the best choice for injecting sexy talent to a female role. And when Milady pauses knowingly at the entrance to the secret chamber, then producing a white powder on her hand she blows it into the chamber to expose a network of invisible trip-wires, well, one can be forgiven for thinking one is watching "Mission Impossible". And when she vaults through the wires, voluminous skirts and all, without tripping a single one, the viewer can be forgiven for thinking he's watching Zeta-Jones in 1999's "Entrapment". But it's the story that counts, not the small things like flying schooners, invisible trip-wires and, uh
believability.
But putting aside all of that, this film is entertaining. Granted, the script does little to further the story beyond informing the viewer of what's going on, between soggy attempts at humor and lame efforts at wit. The audience's groans may well drown out dialogue, and that's probably OK too, since one won't lose much by missing the amazingly sorry interaction between characters who attempt to salvage poor writing by injecting emotion and passion, all to no avail.
But putting aside all of that, this film is entertaining. I mean look at the fight scenes and the sword-play. It's good, and the actors were allowed, finally, to shine! An amazing, if somewhat impractical sword-fight takes place on the roof of Notre Dame, as thrilling and suspenseful as any that I've seen before. And granted, for a character, a lady of the times at that, to single-handedly trounce a dozen well-trained soldiers and personal guards of the king in a sword-fight, well
OK, it's a bit out-there. But still, the sword fights were great, and they injected some action that was a bit more believable than flying schooners and a lady ninja in huge skirts and sexy eyes in early-1600s France.
But, putting aside all of that, this film is entertaining, right? Oh, wait
Uh
Putting aside all of that, I guess there isn't anything left to entertain me.
Oops
Never mind!
The History Boys (2006)
Overblown and Euphuistic
With pretensions at loftiness, this film was well-received by the Brits, less so by others, (except for those insecure people who pretend to "get it" in order to feel accepted by the "in" crowd). It has it's moments, but is unrealistic and bombastic in scope. A celebration of borderline gay pedophilia, combined with witty pubescent brainiacs offhandedly spouting obscure literary quotes make this film nearly unwatchable.
Cute in some parts, tediously precocious in others, it's lofty premise is bogged down by a fatal lack of realism, and a story that completely ignores rationality for a weird semi-homo-erotic fantasy-idealism that somehow makes impropriety and perversion ordinary, even acceptable.
And I'm a gay man!
I gave it a rating of 3 for it's beautiful cinematography, its directional excellence and yes, even its cute actors. It has its moments of hilarity, its engaging wit and even a few captivating devices.
But to put the dialog of an educated and seasoned adult into the mouths of these "babes" is laughable. To further portray them in classes that are as randomly unrealistic as these stretches the bounds of credibility. And to further infuse a homosexual pedophilia into the mix as if it were both commonplace and ordinary, "just a bit of fun", as one character defends it, is both offensive and repulsive to me.
If you want to be perceived as smart, chic and trendy, then by all means, sit through this film and rave to your friends about how brilliant, witty and progressive it is. But if you have enough courage to be yourself, then don't bother wasting your time with it.
Puppetry of the Penis: Live at the Forum (2001)
Unconventional, goofy and altogether entertaining...
Ingenious, hilarious and amazingly creative, this show should be required viewing for anyone who is nervous and uptight with full frontal male nudity. Sex, lust and titillation are completely absent, making this joyously merry routine fresh, silly and totally harmless. Indeed, the DVD should be rated PG simply because there is no sex, drugs, foul language or violence involved.
Two average guys have managed to invent dozens of "puppets" using only their genitalia, along with a (very) occasional prop. Unabashed and unselfconscious, they twist, wrap, stack, pull, prod and otherwise manipulate their equipment into everything from inanimate objects to "live" characters, much to the delight and applause of the audience.
Finally, someone has the guts to not only unmask that part of the anatomy that seems to embarrass everyone else, but they make it the star of a delightfully refreshing show. And they do it with such aplomb! It isn't about a sexual organ. It's about provoking laughter and joy through innovation and creativity.
Watching, one has the feeling that this is just a couple of ordinary guys goofing off to impress friends. Indeed, they started their "act" in the local pubs in and around Melbourne, Australia. And the show retains that chummy, ad-lib feeling, as if they've just thrown it together. Their running commentary is far from polished, making it that much funnier. And while the humor is by no means intellectual, it's far from being low-brow. They don't try to be the stars of the show; they let their "puppets" be the stars.
I would have appreciated better camera work. As if the director was a little disconcerted with showing too many close-ups of penises, the camera frequently cuts from the stage to the audience. Indeed, a number of times, just as the "puppeteer" revealed his latest "puppet", the camera cut away to record audience reactions before I could see the creation, leaving me wondering what they were laughing so hard about. Likewise, it was difficult to see some of the creations in the wide shots, despite the close-ups projected onto a huge on-stage screen. The projected images didn't film well, tending to be hazy and dark. Hence, the rating of "9" instead of "10".
Overall, this DVD is a party waiting to happen. Grab a few friends, open the bar, put out some snacks and get ready for an hour of giggles, laughs and outright guffaws. Both men and women will crack up at the antics on the stage. (Ladies, it's perfect entertainment for a bachelorette party!)