WalterMittee Reviews

Alone (2015– )

Can't stop watching

[17 December 2021]

However, as most bored editors do, on Season 3, they've added what sounds like someone exhaling every two seconds. It is so constant and so annoying that it makes the season almost unwatchable. And the incessant jabbering about missing family and I'm doing this for my family, and my family this and my family that, and if I don't do this, I'm gonna die. No, you're not gonna die. You'll push the distress button before you die. That way you won't die.

Taste the Nation: Holiday Edition (2021– )

Not at all about cooking

[6 November 2021]

Just like her other show, Top Chef which was not about cooking, but about product placement, this follows the same formula. It is not about cooking. It is about her politics.

Unless you can tolerate this, it is otherwise unwatchable.

Wall of Chefs (2020– )

Good show

[3 October 2021]

First, to the person claiming ethnic bias. Stop already! Did you ever think that the reason someone doesn't make it past the first round is because the other three cooks are better? Besides, your claim is false. You need to watch a little more closely.

Second, this is a Canadian show, not an "All American" show. All the chefs and cooks are Canadian. That's the reason not a single chef is recognizable to an American audience. We watch a lot of cooking shows and we've *never* seen or heard of any of them.

Now my review. I wish Cappe would stop screaming "Hands Up" twelve times. Almost as annoying as Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef saying "Hands up, utensils down". (Shouldn't it be the other way around)? His penchant for saying "I know you don't want to hear this, or believe it or not", or some other dopey comment before he announces the time left.

Minor annoyances for sure.

The Movies That Made Us (2019–2021)

Fun to watch if you can stand the god-awful narration

[20 July 2021]

This is so poorly edited and even worse, narrated, that it is not watchable without taking a break. The narrator starts a sentence, and the cast finishes it. That would be OK if not for the fact that *every* single sentence is done that way and in a frenetic fashion as well. Nobody ever finishes a sentence. It quickly becomes so annoying and grating that I just couldn't watch an episode without taking a break. The other series, Movies that Made Us, while not as badly narrated, still used the same rapid fire "I'll start the sentence, and you finish it" trick. Again with *every* single sentence done that way.

So while the premise is fun, the narration and editing absolutely kill both versions.

Formula 1: Drive to Survive (2019– )

Incredible Series

[15 June 2021]

Cannot believe the speeds of these cars, especially given the fact that some of the drivers are in their teens!

I take exception though to the bizarre penchant for having the camera a quarter inch from people's faces. In nearly every single shot, the camera is so close to a face that you can count their pores. It is an odd fixation that to some is nauseating.

We really don't need to see some grizzled face from a millimeter away. Pull back to say an inch. That would be more desirable than incessantly having the camera a hairs width away from a face.

Schitt's Creek (2015–2020)

Good show except for the bizarre way the characters behave

[1 May 2021]

Anybody as nauseated as I am by the disturbingly bizarre affected attempt to have O'hara's character sound high class? What with the odd way her she pronounces words to the really odd voicing with over accentuating her "T"s to using the "bebe" instead of "baby". I mean who actually speaks that way? She is impossible to watch. And by the way, what's with her monochromatic wardrobe? And just where is the huge closet where she stores all the clothing she wears?

Next we have Alexis and her equally bizarre and disturbing attempt to copy her "brother's" mannerisms by constantly waving her hands around and constantly grabbing at them. Just so nauseating and equally impossible to watch.

It's fortunate that Bob the garage guy hasn't been seen lately. If anyone is disgusting to watch, it's him with his revolting body and arm gyrations when he "walks". Those equally bizarre movements *never* stop.

Even David is hard to watch because his odd quizical expressions never stop.

And that's the way it is with these four. They never take a break from the same mannerisms.

The only one remotely watchable is John.

Brightburn (2019)

Just when you thought the script couldn't get any dumber

[27 April 2021]

This is an Armageddon redux, which is quite possibly the most scientifically impossible movie ever. Brightburn follows the same dopey script writing. A few examples: The father comes into the kitchen where Brandon has gnawed a fork into oblivion. Does he mention it to Mom? No. Mom comes across Brandon in the barn hovering around ten feet off the ground. Does she mention it to Dad? No. At school, the kids are in a circle of trust, throwing each other into another student hoping to be caught before falling, thus building trust. Are they doing this on the grass? No, they're doing this on the running track. Of course Brandon is shoved so hard that he falls back smashing his head on the blacktop. Is he hurt? No. And when one of the girls offers her hand to help him up, he promptly squeezes it so hard that he breaks it and then bends her wrist back and breaks that too. Back in the office good old Mom chalks it up to an accident and marches out. Nothing happens to Brandon. But wait, there's more. He infiltrates his aunt's backyard as repeatedly announced by the security system. So she stands in front of curtainless windows peering outside. And even though the security system is still warning her and the lights are flickering, she just goes upstairs and goes to sleep. And this type of thing just goes on and on. Like I said, you have to suspend disbelief when watching a movie like Armageddon, but that movie is so scientifically impossible that it takes a great deal of disbelief to watch it. This movie follows that idiotic script writing.

Race to the Center of the Earth (2021)

Using only metric measurements

[2 April 2021]

While I understand this is shown in several countries, the producers need to remember that many here in America have *no* concept of metric measurements. The teams travel 40 km, or climb up 300m. Huh? We can convert these measurements into decimal, but that takes too much brain power. Why not simply give these measurements in both metric and decimal? Easy to do, for example, "teams travel 40km or how ever many miles" that is. Metric has *zero* meaning to many of us.

Castlevania: The Harvest (2020) Season 3, Episode 9

Wowzers!

[24 March 2021]

An animation tour de force! I watch a lot of animated series, but this episode was without a doubt the most breathtaking one I have ever seen!

Bright (I) (2017)

A great Film

[18 March 2021]

Nobody plays a cop better than Will Smith. This is an intense, action packed film. Fight and chase scenes are well done, cop dialog is authentic too. Joel Edgerton is terrific as the Orc cop who provides great comic relief to an otherwise very tense film. All in all, a very enjoyable movie.

Battleship (2012)

Disbelief has to be suspended

[13 March 2021]

Loads of fun! Terrific CGI too. Sure disbelief has to be suspended. It always has to be for films like this one. However, in my view comparing this to Armageddon, which is hands down the most scientifically unbelievable and dopey film *ever* produced, is an unfair comparison. Sure, you can't run an entire battleship with twenty people. But it's fun to watch them do it. The military dialog was pretty on point too. The alien weaponry was down right scary and they were pretty hideous too. The destruction, explosions and general mayhem were very well produced. And the way Hopper used his ship at the end to defeat the aliens was ingenious. So see this movie and do your best not to direct it.

Blown Away (2019– )

Incessant, never ending jabbering

[12 March 2021]

Even though the pieces are amazing, this show follows the same exact formula as others in this genre. The producers have the contestants yammer incessantly. Back to back yammering, never ceasing, always yacking. It is by far the worst of these type of shows in that there is *never* a moment of silence. Just constant hacking instead of focusing on the art of glass blowing. Sheesh, how tiresome...

IO (2019)

Too many scientific inaccuracies

[10 March 2021]

Most movies like this require you to suspend disbelief. BUT, forgetting for a moment that IO is littered with volcanos, why would *anyone* think it would make a great second home? IO passes through Jupiter's immense magnetism, generating ~400,000 volts AND 3,000,000 amps across its surface (Wikipedia). That's enough to pop a lot of corn or give you a permanent Bride of Frankenstein perm. The only joy in this movie comes when Micah discovers that Sam has fresh vegetables.

Away (2020)

Science geeks beware, you MUST suspend ALL disbelief for this!

[27 February 2021]

This is *not* about a trip to Mars. This is nothing more than a dopey soap opera, with endless nausea inducing personal backstories. The continued whining about leaving their families for three years makes you wonder why they signed up for the mission in the first place. The "science" is cringeworthy. Here is a list of the incredibly bogus science and other issues, in no particular order: 1) Emma is shown amongst an entire fleet of T-38 trainers. The commanding officer tells her that she is in "the T38". Um, which one? 2) They drill a hole through the wall of the Atlas in an attempt at getting to the water surrounding them. Of course they drill too far and exclaim "there is a loss of vacuum". Huh? And besides, why did they not have a plug standing by in case they drilled too far? 3) When they finally get to Mars and begin their descent, Ram retracts the solar panels then astonishingly says "Arg, there's a problem with the panels". When Emma looks at him with fear in her eyes, he says "just joking, trying to lighten the mood"! Can you imagine actually saying that? 4) Emma, the commander, seriously jeopardizes her health, nearly killing herself, by not drinking her water ration, instead watering a lone plant in their greenhouse. Really? Besides, there is so much crying, they could have watered these plants by that alone. 5) The continued animosity and vitriol shown by the crew towards the commander would *never* happen. 6) Why was Wang Lu instructed to keep her visor down for the crew pic on Mars? 7) The flight director was so uncharacteristically caustic, that you wonder why anyone would work under her. 8) Why is the repair of the *most* essential system on the ship, the water reclamation system, referred to as a human? They keep saying they have to "remove the dead heart and replace it with one from the backup system". They then proceed to disassemble a highly complex system with not a schematic in sight, relying instead on memory for reassembly!

Given all of the above, this show still has its moments. Great CGI, especially of Mission Control and the control panel on the Atlas. Fairly accurate depiction of micro gravity, some beautifully rendered scenes, especially the one of the ice crystals surrounding Emma in space. But thankfully you can just arrow past the excruciatingly painful personal stories of how much they all love their families, etc and get back to the ship.

Top Chef (2006– )

This show has NOTHING to do with food

[19 January 2021]

Or cooking. It is ALL about product placement. Hey, let's step into the kenmore pro kitchen and gather all the calphalon equipment which is, of course, prominently displayed. This has the opposite affect on me. I would NEVER buy anything so unabashedly hawked.

And I don't understand why the so called hosts in season one and two are so monotone and awkward. Their delivery is incredibly lame and boring, no personality at all. They are a mess.

Add the insanely frenetic editing, which never focuses on anything for more than a millisecond, and it all adds up to nothing more than a shameful display of product placement.

Season 15 brings up Parma dressing herself in the most inappropriate clothing for a cooking show. Her dresses are so revealing that she might as well not be wearing anything at all. It is garishly inappropriate.

Best Leftovers Ever! (2020)

UGH!

[31 December 2020]

OMG! What rubbish! The forced, scripted "banter" between Tohn and the other "judges" is awful. Then, the coup de grace is when she starts bellowing out a song at the end of the show. So is this a cooking show or a vanity showcase for her? This show follows the same, exact formula that 99% of others like it follow. The contestants are constantly yammering. There is not one second of silence. Listening to them drone on and on about what they will make, then watch them make it, then listen to them explain it yet again is cringe-inducing. There is not a single producer of these shows that has any concept of how effective silence is. The most absurd point in the first show came when one of them was making pierogis. The producers felt that no one knows what a pierogi is and that it had to be explained to us what they are!

This show is immediately distasteful and impossible for an adult to watch.

Avenue 5 (2020–2022)

Must suspend all disbelief

[8 February 2020]

If you know anything at all about science and physics, and expect those two disciplines to be adhered to, forget it.

However, the sets are very cool, the acting, meh.

The Repair Shop (2017– )

Very pleasant show

[12 January 2020]

Nice to see this kind of programming.

However, we would love to know how much the restorations cost. And, what's with Jay? What exactly does he do besides wander around with a cup of tea and ask the artists a bunch of inane questions? Occasionally he can be seen waving a piece of sandpaper around, but what does he work on? Also, he should not be allowed to show what used to be teeth when on camera. Very frightening and rather disturbing.

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019)

The Dark Crystal deserves no less than a Ten!

[28 September 2019]

What a remarkable show. Just look at the expressions the actors were able to convey through the puppets. Look at how richly and breathtakingly realized the whole environment is. The puppets themselves are wonderful as well. And the Skeksis, wow, what an achievement. All negative reviews about minutia, such as the actors accents, are simply unfounded. Sit back and enjoy the world that has been created by these puppets and the limited CGI needed to enhance the story and stop whining.

GLOW (2017–2019)

Season 3. What happened?

[22 August 2019]

I was a big fan of the original GLOW and Seasons 1 and 2 were a lot of fun. Season 3 has deteriorated into an avalanche of back story with so many sexual scenes, that we just abandoned it. When Ruth exposed herself, that's when we said enough. We made it to ep 3 with not a wrestling match in sight.

C'mon guys, why fix what wasn't broken?

Black Mirror: USS Callister (2017) Season 4, Episode 1

Remarkable

[14 August 2019]

Let me start by saying that it is not possible to apply real world science to this episode. We all know that certain things are just not possible in reality. Just forget all that and enjoy what I think is one of the finest and most exciting episodes of any series I've seen.

The subtle way the captain sounds like James Tiberius Kirk is wonderful. The wormhole finale is also so exciting. The way the cast figures out how to escape the game is ingenious. When the captain just misses the wormhole and then gets trapped in his own game is very rewarding as he is getting his just dessert.

So skip the scientific inconsistencies and enjoy the ride.

Voltron: Legendary Defender (2016–2018)

Holy freakin' moly

[3 August 2019]

S7:E13 was the most thrilling animated episode I have ever seen. So full of intense action and glorious animation, this was also a visual treat as well. Kudos to the writers and animators on this one. This episode should win some sort of award.

Life Below Zero (2013– )

Great scenery, great show with a few glaring problems

[14 July 2019]

I don't get the excruciatingly painful repetition. First we have one of the cast explain what they are doing, then we see it, then we have one of the cast explain what they just did, yet again. Then we have Glenn whispering to the camera what he's about to do, instead of just doing it. So he sits there, stalking his prey all the while painfully explaining what he's going to do, while he's doing it. Why not just do it? We'll just watch him do it. There is a lot to be said for silence.

But all these reality shows follow the same exact format where the cast members explain in mind numbing detail what they are going to do, then we see it, then again, a full explanation of what they just did.

Jessie Holmes: Probably the worst English speaker in the world. I've never heard anyone string more double negatives together in one sentence as does he. "I ain't got no more nothing". "Me not never go nowhere". Yikers.

Sue Aikens: The most self-absorbed, imperious, look how clever I am witticisms clacking individual on the face of the Earth. Susie this, Susie that, susie do list, mi casa es sue casa. "If you don't have one foot in yesterday and one in next week, you better throw a curveball, or some such dribble. And the worst dribble of all is when she constantly talks about becoming a ketchup covered pork chop. I mean, who puts ketchup on a pork chop anyway?

Editing: I have to shut my eyes until the editors get the seizure inducing flashing yellow, white and sepia tones at the beginning of each new scene out of their system.

Andy Bassich: Favorite word is "basically or basic". Basically is basically a basic filler word with little to no meaning.

The Hailstones: Favorite word is "girlziz". Favorite oft repeated phrase is "We're all working together! Yeeeeee!", along with constantly thanking the girls or Chip for whatever they do .And for goodness sake, can someone get Chip to a dentist?

Favorite words of the cast: "Hopefully, luck, basically, protein, survival, harvesting animals, Yee!".

Most idiotic phrase: "I'm going to go out there and see if I can't do whatever it is I'm going out there to do". Well, if you're going to try to not do something, why bother? Shouldn't you be saying "I going out to see if I can do it"?

Barely understandable words: Winner (winter); hunning (hunting).

Producers: Favorite word is protein and harvesting or harvest. You don't "harvest" an animal, you kill it. You harvest plants. On top of all this, we have the Blue Man Group led by Thor pounding feverishly on drums when the cast is doing something semi hazardous. This is done simply to create false drama. And what about the odd and disturbing way the music slows down and dies between scenes? The produces seem to think that somebody has to be continually yapping. There's never a moment of silence. This leads to incessant repetition.

And there is always a downside to the announcers pronouncments. "Andy has to blaze a trail over the frozen Yukon, but traveling on the ice is not without its dangers", or "Chip and Agnes will fish atop the frozen Kiwalik River, but the weight of the fish, net and themselves presents a clear danger to them.". This is the way these little blurbs are always presented.

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Great movie

[14 July 2019]

Which is completely ruined by the overuse of the exact same music snippet in every single scene except a few. The same pedantic, French guitar music in every, single, scene.

C'mon Woody, can't you have your editors pick out an assortment of music?

BattleBots (2015– )

Way too much drivel

[14 July 2019]

The two hour ep, S4:E5, had four, yes, only four bouts. The rest of the time is taken up by I don't know what because I just fast forward past the extraneous crap. If we're not being treated to an announcer that is more in love with his voice than anyone I've ever seen, we see a screaming, maniacal bout announcer yelling like a school boy.

The only thing enjoyable about this mess are the bouts themselves.