willman85 Reviews

Lost in Hollywood (1992)

Not good. But there are some things about it I like.

[4/10 · 19 April 2024]

Boiler Room aka Lost in Hollywood can best be described as The Wolf of Wall Street but in the world of telesales instead of stock-market trading.

I found the whole story pointless, with the ending unsatisfying; and while I didn't find the film boring and unengaging, I did find the whole affair a waste of time. I did like the setting and the idea. Unfortunately, like Scarface the story was all rather gratuitous and doesn't seem to have a point other than some vague moral of 'try not to be like these people, ok?'

There really isn't much more to say than I already have. The story doesn't have very much to it. Cool cover art though.

Mollie & Friends (2008)

Not as good as LaVilla's other films...

[3/10 · 19 April 2024]

Peter LaVilla is at his best when he's attempting comedy. This is his attempt at drama, and it fails at first step. A character study, they are so one-dimensional as to be cartoons. With his rom-coms, his vanity as a human being carries through to the characters he plays, and it makes their journeys more satisfying, as well as being funny. Here, the vain character played by Sally Kirkland lacks that authentic edge he had. She's nothing more than a caricature. Rosemary Gore puts in a fair performance as the titular Mollie; and it might seem as if multi-Golden Globe winner and Oscar nominee Sally Kirkland would contribute something if not authenticity. Unfortunately the low-rent production drags her down with it, and her accolades mean nothing. She's been in two hundred films including Private Benjamin, JFK and Bruce Almighty, but you'd never guess.

The film is set mostly inside the shelter and it gets a bit monotonous. Being character-based with few sets, it could easily have been a play instead... so why wasn't it? Why waste money shooting a movie - with a Hollywood veteran no less?

Several Ways to Die Trying (2005)

The title and plot synopsis alone speak for themselves.

[7/10 · 19 April 2024]

Screenwriters just think 'teenage protagonist' + 'teenage issues' = story. Rarely do they ask 'why teens specifically?' Teenagers have a blinkered outlook. There is also raging hormones, an irrepressible impulse to do certain more grown-up things, the opposite sex's insidious physical maturation, the confusing conflict between libidinal energy and romantic love, and the pressures of school and parents. You can't blame grown-ups for forgetting all this. Teens aren't just immature adults - they're people who are dealing with a lot of things for the first time. And at the same time. It is as much an irony that they live such a blinkered existence at a time they could really do with vision and foresight, as it is that Romeo and Juliet committed suicide.

Here, we have a laser focus on teen angst. Several Ways to Die Trying is a film that is mostly dialogue. It is a real dynamic between the two characters, who we stick with like glue. It is a sweet, heartfelt tale. They're both performed well, too - especially for the production's small scale.

Hell's Gate (2007)

A solid, enjoyable and engrossing crime thriller.

[7/10 · 15 February 2024]

This is a very unassuming movie. It doesn't help that the short trailer gives away nothing. On first watch you may be put off by the very obviousness of the Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs influences - but such similarities are superficial, and the movie does promptly become its own thing. There's basically only four characters, which allows for a greater focus on characterization instead of a more complex plot. The dialogue is thankfully quite well written for a small indie production, and eloquently delivered by the mysterious Mr Nobody character in particular I might add. We get some chit-chat about Jewel vs Alanis Morissette from one of the ex-con characters which doesn't seem relevant at first (appearing like just another Tarantino imitation), but later becomes a nice surprise when he expounds on how it relates to his outlook on women. But perhaps I've said too much... .

The story is well-paced throughout, with a compelling set up, surprising events, and a degree of mystery. Some strong performances by the cast of unknowns, we have a solid, enjoyable and engrossing crime thriller.

Best Shots (1990)

There are a few laughs here and there, but in the end it ain't really worth it.

[6/10 · 28 August 2023]

I thought I'd better write a review for this as there's so few out there.

There's a framing device that adds nothing except overcomplication. Thankfully the narrator is also the protagonist - however this only leads me to my next criticism. The difference in weighting given between the lead and second lead is too small. The focus really ought to have been more in the favor of the main lead. The second lead's story isn't very interesting; it provides a small degree of amusement but is nonetheless mundane, and doesn't feel worthy enough for the scope of the production. The way their two stories intertwine is also haphazardly done.

If you can forgive all this there is some entertainment value to be had. It's zany and doesn't take itself too seriously. But it comes at the cost of not caring enough to tell a satisfying story. It does do the job of wrapping things up for the happily-ever-after, but this is done so lazily.

I'd be more forgiving of all these problems if the film was funnier. More and better gags, and if it had more naturally funny comic actors instead of the bland forgettables that we got. As it stands, the offerings are too meager to really recommend this one, though it's not bereft of amusement.

First Time Caller (2001)

Sweet. Small-scale. Mildly comic. Character-driven. Canadian.

[7/10 · 16 July 2023]

An unassuming Canadian rom-com. The story is very simple: A recently-made single man starts calling a late-night radio talk show to bemoan his relationship woes to the female host.

It's fairly good for its small scale. A decent effort. It ain't massively funny, more just mildly comic. But it's still pretty watchable. Decent dialogue and good chemistry are where this film shines. It has some great music in it too. Could have done with a more complex plot, but this is just a small criticism; clearly it's supposed to be character rather than plot based. It's more in the dialogue than the goings-on - with their warmth and attraction slowly building over the course of the movie. It's sweet. The romance factor of a faceless, but familiar voice. And that point when an innocent flirtation turns not-so-innocent. Et cetera.

Trim (2010)

Not the worst film I've ever seen, but there's still very meager offerings to like.

[3/10 · 5 July 2023]

Alternately known as Trouble, it is Trim that is the official title (although the end credits say it's Art Of Chaos).

It's a bit of a slog to get through, but the film is not in any way the worst offender in this regard. The picture goes for a high contrast, unnatural color palette look, I guess for artistic reasons. It doesn't add anything - and only takes away all the definition in darker portions of the screen, as well as just looking bad in general. (Lowering the contrast won't bring back lost visual information but it will at least make the whole thing a lot more bearable.)

I was convinced the 'comedy' categorization had been human error by a human who hadn't seen the film. About halfway through I realized it is supposed to be 'comic-tinged' - however the attempt at humor not just falls flat but it can easily go by unnoticed.

I couldn't care for the characters or the story. The story feels aimless while sticking to the protagonist like glue for too a large portion. Let me tell you: there are likable assholes - and if unlikable then at least compelling assholes. He is neither. The second most important character is his brother, who is still quite a bit assholey, but much more sympathetic. (He's also acted better, which unfortunately only serves to emphasize the lead's less-than-stellar acting and unconvincing presence and appearance.) You may be forgiven for thinking Bruce Dern's top billing means his character has some importance to the story. I guess it can be described as such tenuously, but it's so incoherently told a story that in practice it feels much more like just a cameo. By the final act the film has found its feet storytelling-wise... although it's still not a very interesting story.

The only reason I am writing this review is because there seem to be none. To be honest it is not a movie worth being written about. If you watch the trailer you'll be forgiven for thinking the film has more credentials than it actually has. You'll see a Hollywood Fringe Festival stamp proudly advertised in the center of the screen. But this is not to say the film won in any category, nor even that it had been nominated for anything. It just says Official Selection. In other words, "it's an honor just to be selected for this film festival." But with a recognizable actor like Bruce Dern, it'll be hard to reject the submission. (Besides, there's like HUNDREDS of film festivals in America.) Also the trailer makes sure to call him 'Academy Award Nominee Bruce Dern'. But obviously such accolade has absolutely nothing to do with this title.

If you do watch this then I would recommend turning the saturation down to zero to make the picture in black-and-white. Firstly it gets rid of the weird, offputting tinge. Secondly the already-increased contrast will make it look more like it was filmed in black-and-white. Thirdly it will give the film more of a sense of artsy indie cred.

The Tower (1985 TV Movie)

Nice sound design and a fun idea, but too slow-paced to be enjoyable.

[4/10 · 23 December 2022]

I like how low-budget this is. They really knew how to stretch their (Canadian) dollar for the special effects in this production. The sound design is also terrific. The premise is pretty cool and interesting. Unfortunately the praise ends here.

The film is really slow-moving. At over 100 minutes it feels really padded and would have been much improved by being edited down to 75 minutes. But I guess TV movies have timeslots to fill... it was clear that all artistry went out the window when it comes to tightness of pacing. The story was stretched out with unnecessary sequences and elongated shots as filler. You might think that the beginning of a movie is allowed to be gently-paced... well it remains that way for the rest of the movie!

There was another movie with the same title and premise released in 1993 but American made. It can't be anywhere near as bad as this one.

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

Tense, frightening, techno-horror.

[7/10 · 5 December 2022]

It takes a while to get going, but by the halfway point it's really gripping stuff. The film deserves extra praise for there being no other like it (ignoring the first Unfriended of course - which, incidentally, I haven't seen, so I cannot compare it). So yeah, if after a half-hour you're feeling bored, stick with it, and you'll be rewarded. It's the most creative tech-horror/thriller I've seen in years.

It is recommended to watch the highest definition version you can - it's not essential, but to really get the most enjoyment out of it you'll want to easily read the small text that comes up in messaging windows.

Undefeatable (1993)

Cynthia Rothrock KICKS ASS!

[9/10 · 31 July 2022]

Fitted out in leathers, the deftness of Cynthia's kicks is equaled only by her hotness. The action is slick and unrelenting (in a good way). On the odd occasion that you are given the space to breathe, the plot is hilariously absurd. In this world, EVERYONE knows martial arts, including a psychotherapist lady.

It's well-paced throughout - with a story that, however ill-conceived, isn't badly told. The fight sequences are well-choreographed, and the quality and quantity of stunts is high.

If you're into martial arts movies, or even just have a passing interest, don't let this hidden gem pass you by. (I firmly recommend seeking out the PAL version.)

THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE EVER!!!

Victim of Love (1991 TV Movie)

Solid entertainment if you like a romantic psychological thriller mystery.

[7/10 · 7 February 2022]

I was kept entertained, wanting to know how the story played out. There's nothing wrong with being derivative so long as the end result is solid. The sex scenes are more "steamy" than "erotic" (not a huge amount of flesh is shown). They complement the movie well, adding to the atmosphere. So what if they're accompanied with sax music?? That was in vogue at the time. It was 1991. That's like criticizing the film for a character having a particular hairstyle - entirely dumb. Fashions change - what does that have to do with anything?

This wasn't a theatrical film, remember, and it had only the scope of a TV movie. However the main cast trio are excellent, they really elevate the script ot of mediocrity with their beauty, naturalness and talent. JoBeth Williams as protagonist I would single out: There's a real sense of audience compassion as she's hesitantly being romanced at her stage in life, then falling for her lover, then struggling to square this with things she's been hearing about him (from her patient). She's also quite sexy.

It's not a film that has much longevity once the mystery has been solved for you, but it's good for a once-through if you're into the genre.

My Science Project (1985)

Unmemorable and unremarkable

[3/10 · 13 January 2022]

This film had a hard time getting me to care about the situation or the characters. Though competently made, sadly the script is far too pedestrian to save what could otherwise have been an adequate teen sci-fi flick. The poster is emblazoned with 'The funniest sci-fi movie of the summer'; if a film has to tell you it is funny when you'd never have guessed, then it is probably a sign of hyperbole. This film offers no laughs, at worst creating cringeworthy moments in its flower power references. As I hinted upon earlier, the special effects are fairly reasonable. However the story is weak, with too little development and a very unsatisfying resolution. Perhaps the only engaging part of the film is the developing romance. However the movie drags in the middle act and even more so in the final act. Preteen audiences might be not so demanding, and be able to accept banal dialogue and an uninspired premise - unfortunately the visuals do little to tantalize the imagination, existing mainly in a singular prop. Otherwise lighting and plasma effects and historical figures entering the present offer scant thrills for even such undemanding young minds - and modern audiences especially.

Unmemorable, unremarkable... There is perhaps one thing of note: Fisher Stevens does a great job portraying an Italian-American greaseball. The following year he would go on to portray a convincing Indian in an actually funny sci-fi movie, Short Circuit. But I digress. I would not recommend this time-waster of a film except, perhaps, to children. History has quite rightly forgotten it, and that is how it should stay.

Popstar (2005)

Don't be prejudiced! It's not as bad as it's often made out to be.

[7/10 · 5 July 2021]

This ain't THAT bad. It often does not get fair judgment since it's a film aimed at preteens and it's being reviewed by an adult. Popstar is just a feature-length piece of entertainment. The plot may be on the banal side, but what often seems to be glossed over is the film's *appeal* of its subject matter. Its subject matter is teen pop idols - just like the way the subject matter of the Fast and Furious franchise is cars, which'll appeal to people who are into cars.

I am under no illusion that this film ain't Shakespeare. But it's only a direct-to-video-movie, and had only the scale of such. I think it's solid entertainment, especially for the target market. The two scenes where JD performs on stage bookending the movie are highlights; not necessarily the audiovisual feast, but the small satisfying meal or treat at the very least. The opening one more so, as it's not ruined by characters concluding their plots with lines of dialogue thrown over the top of the music.

A few niggling criticisms I found didn't spoil the movie for me. Specifically my incredulity over the character Whitney; the revealing clothes she wears to school, looking older than the rest of the students, and her motives for being so bitchy to JD when she wants him to take her to prom.

One thing Popstar wasn't for me, was dull. I probably won't be going back to it again and again and again, but I certainly felt satisfied by the end of the movie.

Going Overboard (1989)

I'm not saying this as an Adam Sandler fan, because I'm not.

[7/10 · 19 July 2020]

I know I'm in the minority here, but I didn't hate this movie. It's by no means a great movie, but it's watchable. I didn't find it tedious and a bore to get through. It was dumb and unfunny but I felt intrigued enough by the setting and story and characters to want to see it through to the end. I don't disagree with many of the criticisms this film gets - but I don't think it's as bad and devoid of merit as it's caricatured and regarded to be. The setting of a cruise ship is always alluring and glamorous and seductive and pleasing to the eye - as are the girls. True, more (i.e. something) could have been done with the Miss Universe beauty pageant sideplot; not least because Adam Sandler as an aspiring comedian isn't very interesting ... or even convincing. As a protagonist he doesn't win my sympathy at all (he's just as unfunny and undeserving of stage time as the antagonist comic he replaces). Nonetheless, at least the movie HAS a plot, as stupid and uninspired and bare-bones as it is.

Drive Hard (2014)

A perfectly solid action-comedy.

[7/10 · 29 September 2019]

The people who have given this such ridiculously low reviews are being too biased, and I repudiate any reviewer who does not judge this film solely by its own merits instead of their own exorbitant expectations.

The chemistry between John Cusack and Thomas Jane is great. Together they perfectly lift the script out of mediocrity, their screen personas are absolutely superb. The action sequences are well-shot. The humor is perfectly fine. The story isn't the most creative, but it is nonetheless a perfectly sound caper. Besides, it is refreshing to see such a film both set and filmed entirely in Australia. The script is not awful by any means. I was kept on the edge of my seat throughout.

The film is nothing grand or special, but it's good solid entertainment for its scale and budget.

Strike Force (1995 TV Movie)

Recommended! This 90 minute TV movie can best be described as like Top Gun but with more story.

[8/10 · 13 August 2019]

This 90 minute TV movie can best be described as like Top Gun but with more story. The drama is more meaty. The inter-relationships more interesting and complex. Predictably, it has a macho, high-energy cool sounding soundtrack (comparisons to Top Gun inevitable) during the aerial sequences. Which are themselves well-executed and exciting to watch. If it had come to a series, I would compare the show as being to the RAF what Ultimate Force was to the SAS. Recommended!

My Spy Family (2007– )

So underrated and deserves much more recognition. Very addicting. Great for audiences of all ages.

[9/10 · 10 July 2019]

I feel this is a hugely underrated show that deserves much more recognition. It's too good to slip under the radar of TV history, and ought to be better remembered!

For starters, it's funny. It's multi-layered; there's humour for children as well as older audiences. It's well-written. Complex, farcical plots. Well-acted and some terrific characters. A great premise for a show, and the colourful set design (and fun, campy props) complement it very well.

All the greatest, most memorable characters in TV sitcom are desperately seeking something. With Mr. Vong it is a NIFTY Award. Which may seem like a rather trivial thing, but what it represents is recognition for his greatness. This "greatness", however, is unwarranted. He is universally despised (in part for his big ego), and his plots for greatness sometimes take a somewhat nefarious route. He makes frequent clashes with our protagonist, Spike Bannon (who's, incidentally, desperately seeking acceptance as a spy and recognition for his spy skills), and more often than not wins victories over him. Rarely, Spike may win. Either way, despite being an antagonist, the audience still sympathises for Vong. This is due to great acting as much as to great writing. Ramon Tikaram's performance as Vong I do find particularly praiseworthy; his delivery is perfect and he is always amusing.

Anyway... The other characters are quirky and interesting enough, and they all have their own group dynamics. It's a pity Des isn't in season 3 - but at least Talia replacing him as manager of his cafe shakes things up a bit after the first two seasons.

In short: Fun and interesting stories, well-crafted plots, memorable characters, ... and simply funny!

Very addicting watching. It definitely deserves a proper release.

Jetsons: The Movie (1990)

Awesome soundtrack.

[6/10 · 18 February 2019]

Right off the bat, I have to say that this has a AWESOME soundtrack. Although a Hanna-Barbera production, it takes a kind of Disney "musical" approach with animated song sequences - but with contemporary production with the likes of Tiffany and others providing power ballads, pop-rock, swingin' beats and cheesy rap.

The animation is perfect. The colors are magnificent (e.g. During Judy's song sequence at the new mall). The minimally used CGI is inoffensive. There was an era when CGI complemented cel animation rather than dominating it, and Jetsons: The Movie fits into that happy medium. If there's one issue I took, it was that I initially felt the light shading on the characters were a tad overdone. You quickly get used to it though.

HOWEVER: The plot and story aren't all that. The plot resolves too easily at the end and therefore feels somewhat unsatisfying. Perhaps it could be argued that, as a kids' film, the story didn't need to be too complicated. Well maybe ... but Jetsons presents itself more as a family franchise than a children's one.

I think the film should have focused itself more as an audiovisual feast and perhaps added just one more song. Then I'd rate it higher. It has much going for it, but is frustratingly flawed. A hidden gem that needed a little polishing for it to truly shine.

The Amazing Bulk (2012 Video)

Has its flaws, but has a quirky art style, is reasonably well-paced, and well-acted by the lead.

[6/10 · 29 January 2019]

I actually like the art style of this flick. It's very cute, quirky, and has a fantastical graphic-novel-esque quality.

The music is terrible. It sounds cheap. Too much use of stock music. It gets grating! However, the dialogue is recorded and delivered clearly (to be fair, on occasion it is inconsistent with room echo, but it's mostly done pretty well on the whole).

The acting does the job and in particular the lead is well-acted.

Overall the pacing is great. The story may be very derivative, but nonetheless it is neither boring, tedious nor badly told. And not only is the storytelling dramatic, but so is Jordan Lawson's performance as Henry "Hank" Howard (the eponymous Bulk).

For me, it was a reasonably entertaining feature-length. Obviously the production values are low, but it was never a trudging grind to get through - which is the main thing, isn't it?

Baywatch Nights (1995–1997)

It has its moments, good character chemistry, and deserves a little more merit than it receives today. Great theme song (in Season 1), but had unfulfilled potential.

[6/10 · 1 October 2018]

Writing this review is difficult for me. This is because I want to give Baywatch Nights a break, and so I may end up being a little biased. I know it wasn't great, but I think it was a good idea:

An "adult" version of Baywatch that sees the city as it is after hours. Whether that means more action, an investigative procedural twist, or more a horror twist... the makers seem undecided. One thing it does mean though, is less sex. The name may imply the opposite, but that's besides the point.

Before I continue, I must state that the two seasons were of differing genres: Season 1 - Mystery, basic procedural/detective fiction; Season 2 - Mystery, supernatural horror.

The reason I believe it was a solid, worthwhile idea is that Season 1's title sequence perfectly encapsulates what I feel the spirit of the show should have been (especially the theme music). Neon and car chases and night-time sneaking around the marina. Sexy, but not in a bikini/muscle beach way, more in a Miami Vice way. But less gritty crime orientated than Miami Vice; more light-hearted.

To its merit, Season 1 was visually pretty good in my opinion. To have taken away the sand and sun of Baywatch completely would have been a mistake... enough does remain (just). Some people may say that narrowly limiting a series' setting will naturally limit the potential for plot ideas. But Bergerac was a crime drama with a somewhat similar setting, yet was able to keep putting out complex stories.

So the problem with Baywatch Nights was that the two seasons were too different in genre/tone from each other - and from the mother series. What I feel would have worked better would be to have kept the action-drama of Baywatch as its base, but continue with the Private Investigator premise (an episode that gets the balance right is Bad Blades S1E2), and to just reconcile the procedural/horror differences episode by episode. So there'd be some slightly supernatural episodes, some slightly horror episodes, some half-procedural action episodes, but all mixed up in the run rather than separated by season. And more references to the Baywatch universe, a couple more appearances by Baywatch characters.

So enough of what I think *should have* been done. What do I think of what *had been* done?

Each episode is self-contained - which I like - but despite this, too often plots are stretched out within individual episodes. However the character chemistry is great and the dialogue between the core leads (Mitch and Ryan) is amusing. The second season didn't take itself too seriously, and it had some entertaining moments; it just suffered from too much filler. Basically I feel that the show had a longer slot than it needed.

In conclusion: Baywatch Nights is to this day widely dismissed and ridiculed, but personally I believe it to be quite underrated (especially due to expectations following the demise of the massively popular Baywatch). But I'm not saying it was high quality or anything. It had unfulfilled potential.

Seamless (1999)

Pretty bad... but an intriguing watch.

[2/10 · 14 August 2018]

The DVD box says it's Trainspotting meets Beverly Hills 90210. I'd say it was more Human Traffic meets Hackers meets Requiem for a Dream.

I was drawn to this film by its title - BUT its title in the UK, which is "American Chav's". Aside from the jarring use of the possessive apostrophe, there is the complete butchering of the use of the word 'chav'. Chavs are a uniquely British phenomenon. 'Chav' (n.) is a word used to the describe a British "underclass". Fake Burberry cap wearing, white cider drinking yobs who engage in the modding and doing-up of cars that REALLY shouldn't be done up. There cannot be American chavs. It is a technical impossibility. The two words do not - and can not - go together.

But what I find most offensive is Kentaro Seagal's diction. He either has a weird accent, or he's disabled. His voice is very quiet and mumbly. And that's the lead he plays. As for everyone else, it's this strange juxtaposition of hammy acting and good acting. This creates an inconsistent feel, which I feel is worse than if all the acting were hammy.

Some of the criticisms have been about how the film was way off the mark with the fashions and music. However, while this is so, I do think there is at least SOME good music in it regardless. And THAT'S A BIG THING for me to say coming from someone who holds as dear to his heart dance/rave/drug culture as I do. At the very least it's evocative of what it's trying to portray. And with the fashions... I suppose some of it is cool. Mostly not though.

It is not a great film by any means, but it was much better than I thought it'd be. It does feel a bit of a lumber-through sometimes, but I've seen way worse films, films that I couldn't even get through at all. The story doesn't really grip you, but it's interesting nonetheless. The moral lesson is confused, and the acting of the protagonist by Kentaro completely ruins the film - but it's not totally without worth in my opinion. The visual direction actually can be pretty cool. Overall the film is pretty cringey how seriously it takes itself, so there is a little bit of enjoyment factor there - however it hasn't got a very compelling plot... Basically there is betrayal on the good guy, there's arguments and fighting, and gratuitous scenes of clubbing, fashion design, petty crime, drug-taking, and Shannon Elizabeth still in her clothes. So I guess it is a bit like The Room in one or two respects, but that is a generous comparison. The worst thing is the dreadful title - both the original and UK title - but "Seamless: Kidz Rule" is probably a little worse as it's so detrimentally clunky. With the subtitle it's cumbersome; without it, it's just confusing.

In summary, it's an intriguing watch if you feel nostalgic for your carefree 20s full of intoxicants, hot girls of a somewhat loose nature, parties, and raving like a loon, before the scene changed/you got a new serious relationship/your friendship group broke apart/whatever.

Perfect (1985)

A perfectly edited, smart, sexy feast for the eyes, ears and loins.

[9/10 · 4 August 2018]

I can't believe this movie passed me by for 32 years... It's themed around the '80s aerobics craze. It's got a funky synthy dance pop soundtrack. And it has John Travolta, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Marilu Henner!! I literally DO NOT KNOW why I hadn't heard of this movie. It shouldn't be the case that I'd have watched the B-movie Heavenly Bodies (which also has a sick soundtrack by the way) before I even hear of Perfect.

There is good chemistry between the lead couple. They both radiate an inner glow. And they have nice hair.

Jamie Lee Curtis has such a tight toned bod. It's a real feast for the eyes to see her in legwarmers, thrusting and bending in all manner of positions. When Travolta's character first laid eyes on her he stays voyeuristically by the doorway, tantalized by the spectacle. I would imagine anyone else would have been the same. Throughout you get to see her in a host of different leotards and sweats; there's this nice loose-sleeved, short-skirted, tied-at-the-waist one-piece ensemble - which she complements with a sweatband - that you see briefly. Another memorable non-leotard outfit is this loose-fitting pink flightsuit/jumpsuit thing that she pairs with aviators.

Which segues me onto my next point: If Top Gun felt a little contrived with an unsatisfying plot - but you forgave for its killer soundtrack and breathtaking aerial sequences - then Perfect hits all the points ... well, perfectly. It has breathtaking sexy aerobics sequences, and a great soundtrack, yes - but it also has a proper plot. A couple of them, in fact, that weave seamlessly in the story arc. It's well-written. Good dialogue - I like the seduction with clever conversation, and the speaking-in-sensual-aerobics-metaphors.

In short, the movie is uncontrived. It has a story. Which isn't shoehorned. This isn't just "an aerobics movie" that leads to a sexual dance-off in a hot n sweaty gym glass, in the same way that Top Gun is "a fighter pilot movie" that leads to climactic air battles. There's real drama here.

And I love Marilu Henner. I think she's so pretty and glamorous. It's a real treat to see her body in her workout gear. A very sexy, shapely woman. And her hair is gorgeous.

Bottoms Up (2006 Video)

Pretty okay Jason Mewes and Paris Hilton vehicle; mildly amusing, fun, a little wild.

[7/10 · 20 July 2018]

I have absolutely no idea where to begin with reviewing this movie. Not because it's so terrible than I am floundered; rather, there are multiple layers and things worth talking about.

For a start, Kevin Smith has a significant cameo in this. He really proves his ability to act pretty well. Perhaps he should stop making bad movies and get into acting! Bottoms Up will never achieve the acclaim of even the worst of Kevin Smith's movies - and that is absurd to me. The worst of Kevin Smith's movies are utterly dreadful. It is absurd that he is still riding on the success of his early couple of smashes. Even though this was a low-key movie, it seems nonsensical to me that he would risk his career and inflated acclaim on a flop. Evidently he is impervious to critical flops.

Jason Mewes' performance is pretty weak and he is unable to cease his stoner drawl. But his character I don't think is explicitly "a stoner" per se (I think he takes one bong hit in the movie and puffs on a blunt). If he was meant to be then it doesn't add anything to the story. He comes from a friendship group of wasters - including Kevin Smith's character - but he is a bartender with talent and ambition. He is therefore the hero who seeks his fortune in LA and eventually succeeds in his goal.

Like the later Paris Hilton vehicle, The Hottie and the Nottie, this was grossly poorly received. I think that both are essentially okay. That's right, Bottoms Up is pretty alright - especially for a straight-to-DVD movie. Certainly not terrible. Paris' delivery and acting is underdeveloped here, but it is just as "fun" a movie, if not more so. It's certainly the more glamorous, if you're into the allure of wild LA parties, high society and Hollywood hotties.

Paris Hilton's acting may have been better in The Hottie and the Nottie, but that also had a more predictable and formulaic story. I think on balance they're both more-or-less as good as each other. Though Bottoms Up is more fun, interesting and amusing I think.

But to summarize ... just read the title of this review.

The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)

A not-terrible lighthearted, brainless, and somewhat enjoyably trashy B-movie romp

[6/10 · 20 July 2018]

This movie has joined the list of movies Considered The Worst Ever.

To me a movie is bad if it is unengaging and without worth.

I have seen WAY WORSE films.

Paris Hilton is something of a guilty pleasure for me. I think she's matured from a tabloid It Girl heiress to a mature young woman who knows the value of her name, and is focused on building her brand. She is every bit the businesswoman that Kim Kardashian-West only wishes she could be. This movie is an artifact of that transitioning period.

I therefore consider myself to be more unprejudiced and open-minded than others here. (Hindsight may also be a factor; I am reviewing this in 2018.)

What we have here is a lighthearted, brainless adolescent romp. Joel David Moore is terrific as the lead. And Paris' acting isn't terrible, it's just fine in fact (a significant improvement over her Bottoms Up performance). An enjoyably trashy B-movie. It was after all shot in 5 weeks with a $9million budget and produced by Paris Hilton Entertainment.

At worst it's corny and very average; at best it has a little heart and charm. It is definitely nowhere near "one of the worst films of all time". Not even close.

Noviembre (2003)

Squatters living for their art may be admirable - but not when that art is dressing up as gypsies and punk-clowns and harassing innocent passersby

[2/10 · 11 June 2018]

I have zero interest in street theater, guerilla or otherwise, and so I found the movie to be unengaging, dull and uninspiring to no end. That's not to say the movie was very badly made however, it seemed basically okay in that department I guess. But it was a real slog to get through, and there was little in it to pique interest. There's not much to shout about other than the message. It is the kind of movie that documents events that happens, rather than tells a dramatic story. As such, it feels too linear, and it plods along at a stultifyingly slow pace. The plot isn't very interesting, not to me anyway.