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gerbilchris
Reviews
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Should have been 30 minutes less
So the basic premise of the movie is that Newt Scamander has a magical briefcase of creatures that get let lose in New York. Meanwhile an obscurus, a magical entity, is tearing up the city. The NY magical government thinks that Newts animals are behind the destruction and so Newt must find a way to prove his innocence and find out more about the mysterious magical entity causing the chaos.
Both these plot points are fine and good concepts, but they are integrated rather poorly. This is mainly because of the incredibly odd pacing of the movie. Many scenes of dialogue are extremely long and dull, and the way the characters interact is rather strange. Yes, the characters are eccentric, but the characters in this movie are all so far into their eccentricities that it takes away from any natural feeling the dialogue could have had. There are long scenes where characters awkwardly pause in conversation, and long staring scenes reminiscent of Twighlight. I cannot figure out why. For comedic effect? To endear the audience? Either way, it damages any dialogue heavy scenes in the film and makes them awkward to sit through.
Many scenes were slow for seemingly no reason. When Newt, Porpetina, Kowalski and Tina meet in their apartment, there is a long, drawn out scene of Kowalski being in awe of Tina. It is drawn out to such a horrific extent that even Seth Macfarlane would blush. Other scenes simply went on for too long, like a weird scene with a horny rino type creature chasing Kowalski. The scene adds nothing and only serves to draw out the run time.
In contrast, many scenes crucial to the plot are rushed, and the dialogue delivered in a hushed accent so that unless you are on full alert, these plot points will be easily missed. I imagine the movie is also very confusing to anyone who has not read either the Harry Potter or the FB books. The onus is on you to know what spells such as "obliviate" mean. I'm a die-hard HP fan so I was fine but I'm sure it would be hard to follow for any casual fan.
The pacing is also terrible on a macro scale. The first half of the movie is purely awkward pointless dialogue interspliced with fast set up scenes, whilst the second half is a seizure inducing CGI fest. The main "villain" is set up so poorly and you really will not care as to the outcome of the movie, since it simply does not do a good enough of a job to make you care.
This movie simply does not live up to the Harry Potter movies. Those movies that were so reliant on dialogue and character development contrast to this movie that is so lacking in that department. These characters are all simply too wacky and inane for me to take seriously any plight they have. Kowalski by far had the best arc, and was the most endearing and down to Earth character (makes sense seeing as he is a "nomaj").
Yes, the HP movies have the advantage of having 8 movies to set up characters we care about. But this is no excuse, since I was almost instantly endeared in film one of HP to the lovable trio. As I say, only Kowalski gave me any enjoyment in this movie. He was lovable, relatable, funny and natural- unlike every other character in this movie.
I would not recommend you see this movie other than for perhaps pure curiosity. But don't see it in cinema, it ain't worth the ticket. This does not feel in any way like Harry Potter, and has none of the brilliance of that series. This movie for lack of a better word is a trainwreck of plot, writing, pacing and action. I suppose some set pieces looked nice but CGI rarely impresses me any more. Wait for home release and judge for yourself. But I went into this movie with no bias or expectations and it simply is not good both as a standalone movie or part of this iconic and loved franchise.
This film scrapes a 4/10. It would have gotten a 2 if Kowalski wasn't so damn good.
Dick and Dom in da Bungalow (2002)
Stupid and pointless, with a disregard for the structure of the show- Brilliant
A live gameshow with prizes, points and minigames- sounds pretty standard. But this show had a magic to it not found in children's TV anymore. The live format and changing kid contestants meant that mistakes were common and many times the presenters would have to fill time on the fly- and this made the show exiting as you never knew what would happen.
The show is also interesting to go back and watch now as you will realize the amount of innuendos and adult jokes they got away with was amazing, and would never stand on today's kids TV, with millennial parents who are so easily offended- which is ridiculous when you think about it considering how parents now buy their kids games like GTA and CoD which depict outright violence and sex. Seems like priorities are not in order.
It's a shame the series was cancelled but it had a good run, and many of us kids who grew up with it still hold out hope for some kind of revival. But apparently there is no room in this world for silly pointless fun anymore- at least according to the House of Commons.
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
A work of incredible spectacle, but lacking in dramatic tension
The strength of this movie certainly relies heavily on the extremely cool looking CGI. We see cities being turned to dust, incredible displays of power from the mutants (especially magneto), and the villain is possible the most powerful we have seen in a Marvel movie so far.
However, due to the nature of this film being another prequel, being set before the days of the original X-men films, I never found myself fearing for the fate of the main characters. We knew that they would live through this. Whilst you could also say the same perhaps for the films X-men: First Class and X-men: Days of future past, somehow those movies carried a little bit more dramatic tension. Perhaps this was due to the fact that in First Class, many of the characters would not later become X-men, so their fates to non-comic book fans was a mystery. In Days of Future Past, the time-line was in schism so the outcome of the movie actually could change the time-line of the original movies (which it did for the better in the end.
In Apocalypse, however, there is no doubt that the cast would survive, although it was at least intriguing to find out how such a powerful villain could be defeated.
This is also quite a simplistic movie- there are no complex morals like "are mutants and humans able to live side by side". The villain motivation ultimately comes down to wanting to rule the world. Speaking of the villain, Apocalypse, he was quite menacing and ruthless, but comes not even an iota within the brilliance of Ian McKellen as Magneto, and his character was no where near as developed which isn't surprising seeing as he came and went within one movie.
So really, to sum up, this movie is a cool looking spectacle, but lacks dramatic tension or any build up, and there is no challenge of morals to the audience. I consider it to be above only the two Wolverine movies in the franchise, but it is my least favourite main time-line X-men movie. Also at almost two and a half hours in run-time, the plot feels incredibly stretched out. The whole sub-plot of being captured by the soldiers felt ultimately pointless.
If you are a true X-men fan, you will probably find some enjoyment from this movie but overall I can't recommend it as I found it quite boring throughout most of it- even the action scenes are quite reminiscent of the "Transformers" Franchise in that it was flashy but lacked great choreography or tension. A lot of the humour also fell quite flat for me, but the other cinema goers laughed so perhaps that's just my sense of humour for you.
Final rating for me is 5/10 - average and takes no risks. In terms of Marvel films recently, it was rather disappointing.
Doragon Bôru Zetto Kami to Kami (2013)
Above average- and a revival of a loved franchise
This film really succeeds in bringing the Dragonball franchise back to life. Nostalgic and humorous moments dot the movie. The dub is great and its good to hear the original VA's. Beerus is a great villain and it is good to see a breakaway from the formula- Goku has to accept that SPOILER- he can't beat Beerus, well not yet anyway. The fight was well animated but a bit short for a DBZ film, however it had great tension and high stakes. The score is also brilliant and fitting for the new level of power reached by Goku. A highlight is "Birth of a super saiyan God"- and it is refreshing to see a transformation that is peaceful and graceful rather than screaming for 5 minutes. I liked the new form and I think that it is more than a recolor. The god-form also is skinnier and more flawless to give a deity like feel. The aura is also pretty cool.
Overall this is a great movie for new and old fans of the world of DB.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
No character chemistry, rehashed plot, made for kids.
The plot really is a complete mirror of "A New Hope" but the film holds none of the emotional weight or character dynamics of that film. The two protagonists, Rey and Finn were boring and had no personality. Rey was the most wooden character and I could not care less about her character. Finn was better and has some humorous moments but even they felt forced- like his encounters with Captain Phasma- who was a pointless character. Princess leia and Han Solo were kind of just there, not adding much really but forced nostalgia. Kylo Ren was under-powered and the First Order were not intimidating villains at all. The Rebels felt more powerful. Starkiller base was stupid, the plot was predictable.
What makes it worse is how society and pop culture is now so over- saturated with new star wars. I really do not care about these new movies anymore and I hate how you can't go anywhere without seeing something to do with them.
There was no tension in the last act of the movie due to predictability, there was no emotional payoff at points in the movie where they tried so hard to force emotion. Only a nostalgia blind person will enjoy this film. Perhaps people will realize down the line how bad this new trilogy was just like the prequels, at least those films tried to do something new.