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Reviews
Spring (2014)
Oh my, what a promising couple of filmmakers are those two.
These guys sure don't give a damn about blockbuster-type audience. First things first: this movie is a joy to the eye: the visual style is so warm and delicate, colors are smooth, editing is gentle, nothing like contemporary in-your-face hd hyper-saturated hi- contrast crispy visual aggressions we often suffer in theaters. Location location! I may be a tad biased 'cause most of the places this is filmed in are actually places I've been to countless times (Polignano is like 20 mins away from where I live, and I lived in Naples for years too). But talking about 'locations are characters too'. Just wow. The plot is, drum roll, a love story. Yup. Like their previous effort, the equally good "Resolution", these guys play with expectations. It has some horror elements, and creepy imagery, but it's just about a down with his luck stranded boy and a girl, solitude, starting anew, getting a grip after life kicks you in the nuts. The leads are likable, the supporting cast, even stripped to the bone, is too. Again, the 'horror' plot point is kinda silly, and the exposition bits about it cross a little into cheesy territory, but you accept it because at that point you are fully invested in the characters' life. I'm a 'suspension of disbelief' olympian. And just when you think this is gonna get on a rampage, it just sits down and ends on a very low, very sweet note. Abrupt, but full of meaning and absolutely satisfactory. I mean, it may not be for everyone. If you appreciate the likes of 'The Babadook' and other slow-burn, character driven movies that are all about atmosphere and subtlety, with a touch of gore, silliness and '90s monster cheese (when Brian Yuzna is in the thanks in the end credits, you know what you're in for) you'd probably like it. Thumbs up!
Resolution (2012)
Different, slow-burn, interesting, unsettling little movie.
It's a very cool and original movie! You come for the scares and stay for the bromance. The chemistry between the guys is so strong, and most importantly 'natural', that after the first act I was like 'ok, not what I expected but I'm in anyways'. The silly 'supernatural' plot point is riding that Spinal Tap 'fine line between stupid and clever' and the ending, which I'm sure lots of people will hate, is that kind of 'open' ending that lets you baffled, confused but at least in my case NOT disappointed. It makes your brain cogs move and tick to find your explanations and interpretations, which I think is good and lets the movie stick with you for a while. Pretty good acting, the two leads are believable and likable. Yes, even meth-addict f-up Chris is a lovable a-hole. Very well shot, has an independent look (low contrast and saturation, old film look) that is serving well the story. You don't want crispy 4k crap for a movie like this. Nice tension overall, a couple of jumpy but legitimate scares, tone shifts in an awkward, bumpy way sometimes but nothing too annoying. Give it a try if you are sick of paranormal activities, annabelles and devils inside.
Cool Cat Saves the Kids (2015)
Stop giving high rating to this miserable failure!!!
This poor excuse for a movie is terrible. It has been 'so good it's bad' for a while, and the high ratings are a good form of sarcasm, I have to admit. But now it has to stop. Technically inept, spoon-feeding mundane messages with the artistic weight of an eighties' commercial, hypocritical to say the least, it deserves to fall into oblivion. Mr. Derek, I hope you realize you are like that weird friend that everybody know is lame, but out of kindness and Christian duty is treated like he's cool or something. That works if you are a good decent human being, not if you are a horrible arrogant bully like you are. Yes, Mr. 'Daddy' Derek will end on the history books of the internet for being a delusional sour old man who thinks to be a good example for kids, but actually has a poster of Kim Jong-Un in his closet. Destroy this movie if you all have a conscience, as I hope IHE and all other youtube channel force-closed by Derek out of SPITE would destroy him in the courts.
Dark Was the Night (2014)
Not so bad...
First things first: I like Kevin Durand. He is a solid actor. He singlehandedly carries the movie on his shoulders. Dark Was the Night is a decent attempt at a monster movie, with a good slow-burn pace, nice backstory and character building, nice camera work, well crafted atmosphere. It has some problems, first of all the looks of it. The color grading is too radical, it sometimes goes way beyond artsy territory, being plain wrong and off putting. Second, the creature. Too bad it looks so awful, sci-fi CGI/Asylum looking. I get it, budget limitations. But, again, it's a pity. All the tension crumbles when the creature is first shown. Couldn't it be better off a guy in a rubber costume filmed in a poorly lit environment? I like the good ol' twist (kinda) ending. By the book, but satisfying. Overall decent, very nice (first period) shyamalahn-ish building of tension, and a good performance by our buddy Kevin Durand.
Eaters (2015)
Like Cabin in the Woods, only not
Well, that was interesting. The very first moments looked decent, with a somewhat retro look. But as soon as the characters open their mouth you realize you're in for a treat. Sound editing is terrible, you can't hear half of the lines, and the other half is people telling each other to shut up or chill out (duude). Dialogues are below 5 years old writing. Camera work is atrocious, some of the very few thrills in this bore-fest are courtesy of the cameraman struggling with focus. And losing miserably. The editing is lame. I just began to mentally trim the footage to accelerate the pacing, leaving behind minutes and minutes of awkward silent people blank staring, panting and gasping, looking around, while I was waiting for a line or a reaction to happen. My god... Then acting. Tell me about it. 'Great acting' someone said, holy cow... They are abysmal, all of 'em, with a special award for the guy in a yellow t-shirt (sluggishly dragging around like he hadn't any idea what he was doing) and the biker chief (desperately trying to be cool in a Samurai Cop wig). Storywise, it's a mess. Girl gets missing (we couldn't care less about her, 3 minutes screen time), friends freak out (kinda) and try to find her, they stumble upon drug courier bikers, they argue, they escape, they find refuge in a ghost town, the bikers follow them, cannibal creepy inbred people, almost everybody dies by stupidity. There is no tension whatsoever! The pacing is all off, slow and helpless, the bikers are not menacing, the 'eaters' could have been a redeeming point for the movie if there was any attention to details, maybe even some self aware irony (we're playing with 50 years old tropes, guys). The plot doesn't progress, it percolates like garbage juice. Even the gore is missing!
Maybe they tried, maybe it was a joke. What remains is a mess of a movie, some occasional funny-bad moment (the screaming scene, as previously noted by other reviewers: hilarious) and lots of boredom and frustration. I somehow sat through all of it, but I don't recommend this experience to anyone.