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olivertwinge
Reviews
One Night with the King (2006)
0 stars for the writing and 6 stars for everything else
Biblical stories are sparse on details so some degree of embellishment is always necessary to make them into a movie. That being said, when the added details take the main character (a virgin) and make her into a gold digging opportunistic and disloyal power seeker- you have to question the motives of the writers.
They added a character to the story. A boyfriend/love interest/ or friend of Esther's. He and Esther are planning on escaping the kingdom but both are captured. She is brought to the Royal harem where she is waited on and given jewels to adorn her. He is castrated and turned into a slave.
When the two of them eventually meet- he tells her of his castration and his plans for their escape. She turns him down because she is waiting for her turn to be boinked by the king (yes- the guy who castrated and enslaved her "friend").
Are we supposed to hate Esther- or is it just me?
Summer of Sam (1999)
Sick and Depraved (the writers AND the Son of Sam)
This movie is a disaster. Loaded with overacted stereotypes of the Italian community and overacted stereotypes of the gay community. It was like an 8th grade boy got his chance to write a story and include every vulgar act, he is aware of, in it. I felt sorry for the characters, sorry for the actors, but mostly sorry for myself because I am dumb enough to watch this until the end. I was hoping that there would be some kind of a point to all of this flagrant perversion and violence- but I was wrong.
The most interesting character was the Italian punk rocker with the fake British accent . Then he inexplicably brings his new girlfriend to a club where he strips for old men and then has sex with them for money. The girlfriend- sees nothing wrong with this and continues to try and win his affection. What kind of detachment with reality does someone have to have in order to write this absolute TRASH?
Wuthering Heights (2011)
Couldn't see, couldn't hear, shouldn't have watched
Giving Emily Bronte writing credits for this is like giving Moses writing credits for Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Arc. In between scenes, the camera was always zooming in on a branch, an insect, or someone's eyeball- it was like having to sit through all of the homemade movies in my 8th grade media/journalism class again. That would have been tolerable if something noteworthy was happening in the scenes themselves. There is barely any dialog, and you wouldn't be able to see what is going on for 3 or 4 minutes at a stretch. When the characters spoke- you often wouldn't be able to understand them, or you couldn't hear them because of the background noise. But every scene where a rabbit, duck, goat, or puppy got killed- the lighting was perfect.
Absolute garbage!
The Wrong Cheerleader Coach (2020)
The Wrong Eyeglasses
Was the father supposed to be nearsighted or farsighted? There is no possible explanation for the way he was taking them off and putting them on. Couldn't they have given him bifocals?
Designated Survivor (2016)
Radical Liberal Brainwashing
It's not even quality brainwashing, because it wouldn't be so obvious if it was. From the very beginning, the President is hailed as a reasonable Independent, who is not supported by either political party- but his only positions are the ones advocated by left-wing democrats (your typical drug addicts, and sexual predators who write, direct, and produce almost everything in Hollywood).
The storyline with Agent Wells trying to uncover this or that is good and remains good, but the main part of the show is left wing propaganda. It starts off somewhat subtle in the first couple of seasons. By the last season, you are watching gay sex scenes, transgenders being thrown out of bathrooms, and illegal alien children being victimized by rabid white supremacists. The show has 2 villains that remain throughout the series- White men and pharmaceutical companies (which are always portrayed as being run by greedy and heartless white men).
I noticed that a lot of characters disappeared between the end of season 2 and the beginning of season 3. Maybe they read the scripts for season 3? Maybe the money Netflix saved on hiring 3rd rate writers wasn't enough and they couldn't pay the actors either? I don't know, but the third season was an absolute embarrassment!
MSG 2 the Messenger (2015)
Hollywood can't tempt him!
I cannot wait for this movie to be released in English or with English subtitles! I have seen part one and we already know that it achieved instant status as the new gold standard for filmmakers everywhere! I heard motion picture industry rumors that Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim Ji Insaan was offered BIG money to become Hollywood's next leading man. They were going to try to bring him to the US and make him a bigger and better version of Brad Pitt or George Clooney. For years, they have been trying to find the right time to make male full-frontal nudity acceptable in Hollywood movies. When they saw MSG- The Messenger, they thought they found their man and that this was their chance! They decided that they could cast Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim Ji Insaan as the leading man and a couple of Hollywood starlets to play his romantic interests. They were sure that he could become the heartthrob of teenage girls all over the world! The movie would be filled with one love scene after another, with BabbaJi continually showing the camera all that God gave him. They offered him A FORTUNE! But they did not count on this man's unimpeachable integrity. His unmatched modesty. And his unparalleled morality. So- the American record companies could not steal him away from India and make him change his music. The Famous French Fashion designers were unable to get him to move to Paris to start his own fashion label. No sports franchise has been able to get him to leave India to play one of the 30 sports that he is great at! This man's love and dedication to India is incredible! I can't even wait for MSG 3 and MSG 4!