ephraima Reviews

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

It ain't a 1, and it certainly isn't a fanboy 10. It's just, eh..

[6/10 · 2 September 2022]

I'd like to firstly say that I've only watched Episode 1, and that is what my review is based on. In a way, it is the most important episodes of any show, and such, should be so good it sucks me in. It didn't really. I'd also like to say, I went into it with a free and open mind, ready for a different perspective.

The problem I had was simply the fact that I was always bored. Much happens, and a lot of places are visited, and we meet a lot of characters, the problem is you just barely care for what's going on because most of it just seems banal and the writing is so boring. The halfling scenes especially. I mean, what even was that? Gypsy hobbits literally spending decades talking about useless boring fluff and berries... I mean, jheez. I also found myself bored and also confused about the main characters. I just don't care about Elrond or Galadriel, and I think that is because of poor writing too. I also feel casting for some characters weren't great, and a lot of scenes didn't even feel like LoTR, but rather like something out of the Witcher or others. Like the inn scene in that dump of a village. So it all feels a bit, "eh?".

However, it's not totally awful, so I disagree with the 1 ratings. And it isn't "phenomenal", like all the fanboy/overly excitable kids giving it a 10. It's just, alright. If watched all three original films in cinema as a kid, and I tried to not let those masterpieces influence my opinion. It's just, when you take something so magical and full of heart and love, and then see something that is meant to be one billion dollars worth of love and it's just so underwhelming, you can't help but compare and long for some of the magic form the old trilogy. It gets a 5 but an extra 1 star for effort.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

I had no idea that Bay directed this until I saw the credits. Fantastic film.

[8/10 · 5 December 2020]

I can't add much more to what has already been said by fellow reviewers. I echo the sentiments that this is a riveting and powerful film that really hits you. The writing is strong, the dialogue great and directed solid. Which I said in the title of my review: I had no idea Michael Bay directed this. And that really surprised me as I've become used to the typically hollow films he's made in the past. So it was really surprising when I saw the credits. He nailed it.

Queen of the Desert (2015)

Dialogue so cheesy it is near impossible to bear...

[4/10 · 29 November 2020]

I mean, honestly. What was Herzog doing when he wrote this? Was he over excited on fizzy drinks and playing with barbie dolls acting out fantasies? Because that is what watching this feels like.

The dialogue is so unbearably cheesy it's painful to sit through. And so silly it makes you laugh. I am making particular reference to Kidman's and Franco's characters. The way they speak and that weird whispery wanting to be whimsical way he always talks to her has me sitting there in confusion to whether the character is having a stroke or having her on or something. But then it turns out no. That's just how they're talking and I just finding myself laughing and cringeing in despair.

The whole thing is full of stupid whimsical over acting as if they're all on some sort of hallucinogen. Touching faces because they're mushy, saying stupid things like "I sit up there when I'm lonely and I'm always lonely :(" for her to then go "aww". Going up a tower like a pair of kids to find a vulture and he goes "I wanna kiss you" for then to slightly move towards he and then run off into the dust like a pair of 5 year olds. It's stupid. And who thought that girl crying at the dinner table was a good idea? It's stupid.

I mean, honestly. I only managed to get through 35 minutes before it got too dumb to bear. I went into it thinking it'll have a Lawrence of Arabia feel or feeling of "The English Patient" to it. No. It's just gormless and stupid.

Greenland (2020)

Interesting and alright - Can be annoying, but alright

[6/10 · 15 November 2020]

I learned two things from this movie of what goes on during an apocalyptic event... ok I lie, I've always known this but this movie makes it abundantly clear:

1: If you have a wife, you have a good chance of not making it and dying. 2: If you have a child, you are 100% going to die. The kids in these kind of movies always have some sort of illness too that make them an enormous liability. In that case, just stay home and save other people the trouble of navigating you and accept your fate that you are 100% going to die.

Pro tip: If you have 15 hours until the E.L.E. hits but the safe bunker is 14 hours and 45 min drive, it is ok to not drive like a grandma with coke bottles for glasses.

Oh yeah, and don't make the 163946582946 stupid decisions the characters make in this movie.

Other than that, it was alright

Jungleland (2019)

Really touching and emotional experience of two brothers with barely anything on a rocky journey of actualisation

[7/10 · 11 November 2020]

I don't really know what else to say. This film was a really touching experience watching two brothers struggle to make a dream in order to have something in life. But in the process, perhaps becoming misguided and lost in the journey. Charlie and Jack really do a great job of conveying these conflictions and emotions on screen and you can't help but yearn for their ambitions to work out too. I'd recommend.

Barbarians (2020–2022)

It's a good show but a few things niggle me... (Some Spoilers)

[8/10 · 30 October 2020]

So I generally find this time period and the Romans very interesting, so naturally I wanted to watch this. The set design, costumes and acting are all very good and immersive and I like the story. It has good characters and the action is very well done. I find issue with the main female character however...

This has a few spoilers: She has an idea to mess with the Romans and it is carried out by her and three friends. You as a viewer can see this is a horrible idea. Anyway, they pull it off and ultimately the Romans come looking for what they took. She's very impulsive and has a power complex and intervenes in a matter which gets her little brother turned into a vegetable. Her parents struggle to cope with this but she seems oblivious to her actions. The plan also gets her boyfriends entire family crucified and him turned into an outlaw. She then proceeds to take the crucified people down even though they were told they'd all hang and generally puts the whole village and its leader in severe danger. Has to be done I suppose, but again, really impulsive. Meanwhile, it seems she continues her power complex by spitting in her dads face, rampaging around causing trouble and no one tells her to calm down and to realise all this awfulness is on her... This can be very jarring to watch as you're left thinking "what the hell?" and can make you feel frustrated. It's obvious she's meant to be a powerful female that can't be controlled and beats down the men, but yeah, it's very jarring and could've been done with more sensitivity. Other than that, I really like it. Especially the whole Ari/Arminius dynamic. Will continue watching.

The 100: Stealing Fire (2016) Season 3, Episode 9

Wait. Immature sad cases rating it 1 star because..???

[10/10 · 1 April 2016]

Let me get this straight. "People" have rated this as a 1 star because they're little sados who can't take watching a couple characters die? Are you kidding me? While watching this episode I was thinking to myself "damn. This is a pretty good episode". Then I come here and contract aids from seeing it rated 3.8. Grow the hell up!!! It was powerful and to me is showing the development of the characters and the atmosphere.

Moreover, why are people crying like little pathetic babies like "omg! Ontari killed kids! omg! that's disgusting! omg!". Shut it. She's mean't to be brutal, cruel and horrible. Go watch teletubbies if you can't hack it. In addition it seems everyone is playing the race card or sexual orientation card... "omg! killed of a lesbian! This is sooooo bad!" Oh OK. See, I was under the impression that Lexa was 1000x more of a person and character then just being a bloody lesbian.... But no. tragic people nowadays don't see her as a critical character and that her death is very important both in general and for the development of the story. No. All they see is "omg. they killed a lesbian. omg. this is the worst ever. omg. omg." Christ save us..... Same thing with Lincoln too. "omg. they killed that coloured guy. omg. 1000000% racist. omg. this is horrible. omg. 1 star. omg." That all that goes on in their heads instead of seeing the importance of it both symbolically and for how the story will develop and how it's going to affect the other characters etc. Just pure ignorance.

A lot of things were laid out in this one and a lot of interesting things happened and it deserves a solid 8.7 in my opinion.

Lucifer (2016–2021)

Ah! A brilliant surprise! Just the sort of show I never knew I needed :D

[9/10 · 4 September 2015]

So I suppose I'll begin by explaining this: I've actually never written a review or rated anything on IMDb, though have been using the site for as long as I can remember. Then I came by Lucifer. As he does in the pilot, I felt compelled to create an account just to write this and give this show the rating I feel it deserves!

What can I say? I love the whole atmosphere of the show. I love how I feel excitement waiting to see whats going to happen next. I love the strange personalities, contrasting and complementing each other superbly. And I love how Lucifer is different to anything else! Haha :D There's a suave flow that wisps around along with the banterful humour that continuously provides you with smiles and laughs. Though also mixes themes in a very good way. I especially found the whole take on Lucifer extremely intriguing and as I watch, it feels like a joy to travel with the character throughout. It's like you always want to see whats going to happen next or what he'll do. I found all the other characters a joy too. Especially his female partner, a pairing I really enjoyed watching and can't wait to see more!

I don't want to make this too long but all I can say is that Lucifer is a much, much needed breath of fresh air. It strikes me as so different in the notion that it takes this strange idea but hits the nail on the head perfectly. You've no idea what to expect but it becomes a very pleasant surprise. All in all I thoroughly enjoyed it. The Atmosphere, the cast, the characters, the soundtrack and the whole direction they are taking it in. Definitely my sort of show :) I can't wait to see more and I hope the show does well. I would hate to see it go!