hengir Reviews

Cyclone (1987)

A bit dull

[6/10 · 10 August 2008]

What a great cast (Jeffrey Combs! Dar Robinson! Martine Beswick! Martin Landau even!) and what an uninteresting film they appear in. In fact there seems to be too many cast members. In one scene the tied- down heroine has two villains in the room, then another, then another, then the chief villain makes an appearance. You can tell that the script writer has no idea on what to do with them. It's a disorganised soup of a film. The plot involves a super motor bike (gosh, that's original!)and the machinations surrounding it. The super bike itself looks like what it probably was, a real bike with painted cardboard surrounds. It does shoot missiles and laser beams but like the story it is totally unconvincing.

Though I must give a good word for Heather Thomas, and not because she looks sensational in tight jeans. (Though she does.)She gives an energetic performance with moments of charm and moments of grit. Shame really, she deserved a better vehicle. (Ho,ho!)

The Vampires Night Orgy (1973)

Not exciting

[6/10 · 6 July 2008]

A band of travellers are forced to stop at a seemingly deserted village and then 'things' start to happen. I watched it under the title 'Vampires Night Orgy' and there were vampires and lots of night but alas no orgy. The vampires were of those kind that walk about in the daytime, an explanation of which appears right at the end almost as an afterthought. The film also has a great jazzy score except it is totally inappropriate, contributing to the lowering of tension and not upping it. It was filmed on a good location, one of those remote mountain country villages where it always seems like winter, photographed in the bleak and gloomy style of many 70s horror films that is always a plus. Quite predictable and not exciting. The beautiful Helga Line appears in it but not enough to raise my rating of the film.

Tunnel (2002 Video)

Dull

[5/10 · 8 March 2008]

Well it is set in a tunnel for most of the time with our hero, played by the director Daniel Baldwin, running around trying to get back a hoard of diamonds from the villain played by Kim Coates. The low budget meant that things like two explosions shutting off each end of the tunnel were never shown, There is a stationary train in the tunnel but not much is made of it and as the villains have gassed all the passengers there are no crowd scenes of mayhem and panic. The enclosed area of the action does not give a gripping, claustrophobic atmosphere which it could do but just reveals the lowness of the budget. What you are left with are dull characters, tame gun play and not much of a story. So paltry is the script that in it our hero vows to quit smoking if he gets out alive, a plot point that is as old as the movies. Not even the talented Kim Coates as the loathsome villain or a passel of good looking women raise the film from mediocrity. Dull.

Ninja the Protector (1986)

Not good, not good at all

[5/10 · 23 February 2008]

No matter how many ninja films one sees it always looks to me like people fighting wearing pyjamas. This is particularly true in this film where the Richard Harrison character wears a natty pair of duds that look perfect for bedtime. Which makes the ninja fights he is in look silly. When he puts on his ninja suit he also looks slimmer. At least they could have had someone similar in size to Richard Harrison. He was a big boy.

The film is a hybrid of at least two others but one never knows. It could be more. The western actors are dubbed but their lip are saying the same dialogue anyway so it becomes quite surreal. The Hong Kong actors are also dubbed but one gets used to that in martial art films anyway even though their lip movements are so different. Being a hybrid the plot wavers all over the place. When a character says, "Tiger has been killed" you think, who heck is Tiger? Is my memory going or did they ever appear? A rambling plot, tame fight scenes and plain acting are not even redeemed by a couple of sex scenes as they are just as boring as the rest of the film. Not good, not good at all.

Stealth Fighter (1999)

A paltry effort

[5/10 · 4 February 2008]

Well, this is a busy little film. There is a stricken submarine on the bottom of the sea, an orbiting death ray ("It's not part of the Star Wars project, IT IS the Star Wars project!") and a stolen stealth fighter that is used by one of the villains as a rather excessive assassination weapon. All of which add up to .... not much at all. Low budget film making can be an art in the sense that good imagination can make up for a lack of dollars, besting mega-budget productions, but not in this case. Using other people's footage can lead to wonderful continuity blunders. For example the villains are hiding out in Angola and our heroes get dropped off an aircraft carrier and paddle to the shore. Unfortunately the caption on the borrowed footage says the aircraft carried is off the coast of Lebanon! Our heroes had a heck of a lot of paddling to do.

And Ice T may have played that funky music once upon a time but as an actor in this he is laughable. All the menace of a wet lettuce. A paltry effort and not even the great William Sadler could save it. His character blows his brains out near the end. One knew how he felt.

My Brother Jonathan (1948)

A quality film

[7/10 · 19 January 2008]

Although not surprising in its plot this film is well made and acted. (With fine film score too) The story is told mainly in flashback by Jonathan Dakers,an ageing doctor to his son who has just come back from war. The old doctor talks about his relationships and also his medical career and how they intertwined. It is the kind of film almost impossible to make these days as it is a story of a decent man who does decent things. Films about ordinary people and their ordinary goodness are difficult to make without being dull or worthy but this film pulls it off.

The acting is solid. You can believe in the idealism of Michael Denison's character. Sterling support is given by Dulcie Gray, Finlay Curry, Ronald Howard, Mary Clare and Stephen Murray. James Robertson Justice appears too briefly though.

There are many good scenes in the film; the boys cricket match, the hospital emergency meeting, the new years eve party. There is an excellent scene where Dr Dakers performs a tracheotomy on a boy. No music in the background, just the laboured breathing of the boy. There is also a touching scene on a hill (shot on location) with Denison and Gray where she quotes AE Houseman, where you can tell they are in love even without them uttering it. Such subtle film making has long gone in British films.

The Gold Robbers (1969)

Excellent all the way

[9/10 · 12 January 2008]

Almost forgotten but excellent 13 part programme in serial form from 1969 dealing with the robbery of gold bullion from an aircraft and the subsequent investigation led by Inspector Craddock of the CID. Episode after episode the criminals responsible are tracked down,leading the dogged Craddock to the brains behind the heist. Craddock was played superbly by Peter Vaughan and there were a lot of other good actors in it too like Joss Ackland, Roy Dotrice, Alfred Lynch, Ian Hendry and Patrick Allen. It was quite tough for the time and very well written, the tension mounting each week. Like all good serials you could hardly wait for the next episode. Very unlike the great majority of programmes on British television these days. If it still exists hopefully someone will release it on DVD.

Death Machines (1976)

Not good

[4/10 · 19 December 2007]

There is a point in the film where the female boss of the "death machines" (a multi-ethnic trio to please everyone, being inclusive I think it's called these days) talks about using leverage on a business man. Except such is her delivery that it sounds like "leatherage." At which point this viewer perked up thinking this dull film was turning a corner into new world of kinkiness. But it didn't. The boss lady had to do the talking as the "death machines" did not say a single word during the whole film and talk she does. Interminably. There is action in the film but it is not that exciting and the plot staggers from one cliché to another. The three mute "death machines" live to survive another day at the end of the film. Hopefully there wasn't a sequel.

Baba Yaga (1973)

Confusing

[6/10 · 16 October 2007]

Based upon a comic strip which presumably made more sense than this confusing film. The plot simply is female photographer falls under spell of strange woman. The original language might have sounded better but the dubbed dialogue is a mix of pseudo profundity and sheer nonsense. Nothing makes sense. What are the photographer's Nazi related dreams about? What about the killer camera? What is the leather clad doll that come to life about? What is the big hole about? Who is Baba Yaga anyway? She says to the photographer that she will reveal to her cosmic secrets, which seem to involve chaining her up and having her whipped. What? You can carry off this kind of thing if you are a David Lynch but not this director. The best part were the opening credits with the glacial black and white background of panels from the original comic. After that it went downhill.

The Squeeze (1978)

Fairly taut

[7/10 · 5 August 2007]

Lee Van Cleef plays an ex burglar who comes out of retirement from his ranch at the request of the son of a friend to do one more last job. Things don't go as planned. It sounds a standard kind of film but a few things lift it above mere ordinariness.

It is mostly filmed in New York and the city does look atmospheric, lively but seedy as befits the plot. The plot itself has surprising twists and turns and your suspension of disbelief is mainly determined by the acting, principally the kookiness of Karen Black and the charm of Edward Albert. If you believe in their characters then the ending of the film packs quite a wallop. It did me anyway. The two veteran actors, Lee Van Cleef and Lionel Stander ease into their roles very well. Van Cleef was not a great film actor but in this kind of film is fine. He is very creditable as an ex-criminal as the God of Cinema blessed him with a villainous looking face.

The Sell-Out (1976)

Very average

[6/10 · 2 July 2007]

A spy story filmed in Jerusalem with Richard Widmark and Oliver Reed, supported by Sam Wanamaker has all the makings of an interesting movie at least but which this film abjectly fails to realise. There is a sort of a plot but it is hard to follow, based I think on the idea that the CIA and the KGB in cahoots are bumping off their ex-agents so they can't talk about their past. Which just seems silly. Oliver Reed is the next on the list and he calls on retired agent Richard Widmark to help. Both male actors do their best but are defeated by the script. It doesn't help that Oliver Reed is strangely dubbed. Gayle Hunnicut is given a thankless role.

The star of the film is the city of Jerusalem itself, being much more interesting than the plot unfolding in it. One kept thinking, get those actors out of the way so I can enjoy the scenery. Peter Collinson was an average director and this is a very average film.

The Lucifer Complex (1978)

What?

[5/10 · 2 July 2007]

Poor Robert Vaughan. Perhaps he did this for the money though as the budget wasn't that large one can't imagine he got that much. It begins with an almost unending scene where the last free man on earth (I think) watches a potted history of the twentieth century (apparently this is meant to be an awful warning about human behaviour) before it begins proper with agent Vaughan in the course of his investigations discovering an island where the Fourth Reich is sending out clones of influential people to take over the world. This might have some entertaining camp value if the film wasn't so slow. Still, any film with a Robert Vaughan clone and an Adolf Hitler clone can't be all bad. There were lots of girls clad in blue dresses whose function escaped me but they were nice to look at. So look at your government leader close. He may be a Nazi clone....

Body of the Prey (1967)

Botanical Frankenstein

[4/10 · 6 April 2007]

Now here is a wonderful premise for a film. A scientist from NASA goes on holiday to Japan and while there takes up his old interest in botany. Going on the theory that because life started in the sea thus all humanity is descended from plant life (come again?) the scientist cross breeds a venus fly trap with a Japanese equivalent and creates an artificial man-plant thing.

To make it like a Frankenstein film the thing is hauled up to the roof while lightning is conducted down.("The earth is its mother, the sky will be its father!" says the scientist) Then of course the monster gets loose and encounters a child which it murders and aggrieved villagers go around with torches, just like those great Universal films of yore. This almost makes it sound exciting but it isn't. To accompany all this nonsense is a very jolly music score that is totally inappropriate. The version I saw was called "The Revenge of Doctor X" which is about as misleading to the story as you could get. Again it sounds just like an old horror title Universal would use in the 1930s. The monster itself looks hilarious.

The Guy from Harlem (1977)

Either/or

[3/10 · 19 March 2007]

Either this is one of the worst films ever made, even giving 70s blaxploitation an even badder name, or it is a wonderfully constructed parody of the whole genre. It could be the first satirical post-modernist film; pre-post-modernism in fact. On watching it you could think to yourself, are they being serious or is it a pastiche? Have they reduced the genre to its basic elements then re-constructed them into a profound meditation on the plight of the outsider engaged in a "left handed form of human endeavor." Are the pauses in dialogue due to the incompetence of the actors or is an attempt to cross-pollinate the gangster film with a Harold Pinter-ish sensibility? Is the crude photography a pioneering Dogme film long before its time? Is this indeed a lost masterpiece, worthy of Bergman, Dreyer or Welles? No. This is one of the worst films ever made.

Mansfield Park (2007 TV Movie)

Awful

[5/10 · 19 March 2007]

This seems like a film made with Jane Austen kind of elements but doesn't relate at all to the 'Mansfield Park' novel that Jane Austen wrote. It has no idea what the novel is about and I think that if you are adapting a book for the screen that it should be at least faithful to the spirit of the book. And that certainly means not casting Billie Piper as Fanny Price. Whoever thought of that one deserves a raspberry. I'm sure I was laughing in the wrong places.

I watched it expecting it to get better but sank lower and lower in my seat. One of Austen's more profound novels had been turned into flavourless and unrewarding entertainment (if that is even the word). TV and film producers for ages have been underestimating the general audience and this Austen travesty is another slap in the face. It is a great shame that the quality of British television plummets year after year.

eXistenZ (1999)

A Shaggy Dog Story...but a good one

[7/10 · 19 November 2006]

"We're both stumbling around together in this unformed world, whose rules and objectives are largely unknown, seemingly indecipherable or even possibly nonexistent, always on the verge of being killed by forces that we don't understand." So says Ted Pikul in the film. Which for some people sums up life and 'eXistenZ' probably is a film about existence. What is real and what is unreal and how you tell the difference. Or not. The last line of the film is superbly ambiguous.

The film seems like a shaggy dog story (indeed it has a real shaggy dog in it) but it takes you along on an interesting ride, full of provocative Cronenberg touches that will make you look at amphibians, game pods, fish, spines and bones in a new light. Some bits are quite icky. It takes place in a rural setting where the gas station is called 'GAS STATION' and a Chinese restaurant is called 'CHINESE RESTAURANT.'The film has an engrossing texture that is leagues away from your usual big budget science fiction movie.You can read many things into the film and it repays watching more than once.

The main actors are Jude Law who is OK and Jennifer Jason Leigh who is great. Some roles don't suit this very talented actor but when she has a good role like this she is unmatchable. Her unconventional beauty and fascinating voice suits the part of Allegra. (Looks great in a short black skirt too.) There are other familiar actors but they are not given much to do. It looks good, sounds good and a Howard Shore score complements the film very well. Cronenberg is possibly the Alfred Hitchcock of the sci-fi/horror genre. No matter what film he makes he is always worth watching.

Hollow Triumph (1948)

Under rated

[7/10 · 28 October 2006]

A fine and under rated film noir for many reasons except one, which is that the Paul Henreid character impersonates another one called Dr Bartok but with a huge scar on the wrong cheek. One doesn't mind suspending belief but this was a bit too much. Indeed the scar plot point itself could have been dispensed with as the outcome was not due to Dr Bartok's looks but his behaviour. The scar thing felt gimmicky, which is a shame as it mars an engrossing thriller.

Henreid is better than he is in most of his films, giving a deep and interesting performance and he is matched by Joan Bennett. Their scenes together are splendid, indeed the dialogue in the whole film is very well written. The film is supported by some magnificent photography, the real epitome of film noir. The whole atmosphere has that doomed and helpless quality which is great, if you like that sort of thing! This is well worth discovering. The director Steve Sekeley never did anything better.

Phantom of Chinatown (1940)

Entertaining

[7/10 · 16 October 2006]

Apart from the whodunit element of the film which drives the narrative in an entertaining way there are other interesting things in the film. Several James Lee Wong films had been made previously with Boris Karloff in the title role, who as the elderly 'Chinese cop' solved several mysteries and although he was made up to look oriental (skin colour etc.) there was always that beautiful English voice spoiling the effect. The films were nevertheless good mystery stories, filmed in Monogram's low budget efficient way.

In 'Phantom of Chinatown' James Lee Wong is played by Keye Luke, a rare leading role then for an Asian actor. He is not a detective but a student and younger. (Confusingly Grant Withers who plays Inspector Street was in the earlier Karloff films and this one but treats Wong like he had never met him before. Perhaps this is a prequel!) Keye Luke is excellent and it is a shame he didn't make any more Mr Wong films as he is definitely shines in this. Charming and bright and capable. He has a nice line in humour too. The other members of the cast are OK. Grant Withers as Street is his usual grouchy self. Lotus Long as the Chinese secret agent is particularly delicious. A series with her and Luke would have been great. Oh well.

It also has a very sympathetic view of the Chinese people. Wong is definitely the most able character in the film. Furthermore at the beginning as the professor shows film of the expedition and what appears to be ungainly dancing to which the academics in the audience laugh patronisingly, until they are reminded sharply that the Chinese were civilised long before the west. In another scene at the murdered man's house when people are questioned about their movements Captain Street assumes that all Lotus Long would eat for lunch would be "chop suey" and is surprised to learn she had coffee and apple pie. A nice inversion of a cliché. The best gag in the film is when Keye Luke compares the acquisition of Chinese treasures to digging up Washington's bones in the USA. As a positive picture of Asian Americans the film stands out for its time.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Dull

[6/10 · 10 October 2006]

A film about Jerusalem at the time of the Crusades has the potential to be very interesting, with all kinds of resonances possible. However 'Kingdom of Heaven' isn't one like that. It had no feel for the historical period and had no contemporary echoes. Being a Ridley Scott film it did look gorgeous. Too gorgeous. It was beautifully crafted but absolutely airless. The costumes were lovely, the scenery was lovely, the spurts of blood were lovely. Everything perfect and lifeless. Indeed I found it dull.

One of its other main problems was Orlando Bloom as Balian. He seemed to have the same expression and the same tone of voice throughout the film. It might have been deliberate or bad acting but the result was the same. You did not believe in the character for one moment. The declaiming of the speech where he rouses the men for the last stand was laughably lame. Compare that say to Mel Gibson's 'Braveheart' battle speech. No contest. The most interesting character was that played by Liam Neeson but unfortunately he didn't last long.

Near the end is the siege of Jerusalem but if you've seen one computer generated battle you've seen them all. I almost expected Gimli and Aragorn to pop up and have a go at the Saracens. It was the biggest set piece and it too was boring. The music score was unsurprising but had lots of nice tunes. It was the most memorable part of a unmemorable film.

Young and Innocent (1937)

Early Classic

[7/10 · 17 July 2006]

This 1937 British film is undoubtedly a Hitchcock film and can be no other. It is another innocent man on the run story, a plot he used often, but a plot on which he has done several fascinating variations. In 'Young and Innocent' it is a chase through the English countryside with Derrick De Marney as the accused man, Nova Pilbeam as the reluctant helper and the incomparable Edward Rigby as the gentleman of the road caught up in the plot.

The visuals are wonderful, a man blinking in the lightning storm, a lifeless arm in the waves, the chiaroscuro interior of a barn , the opening and closing close-ups of two different women in different moods, legs dangling past a window, and of course the celebrated tracking shot towards the end that moves from a large view down to a telling detail. Pure Hitchcock.

There are lots of good scenes mixing humour with tension; the family dining scene discussing the murder, the fight in the truckers café, the children's party where the two on the run find it difficult to leave. The last scene is strangely moving as the drummer goes over the top in more ways than one. There are familiar but good actors in the film such as Mary Clare and Basil Radford. The man playing De Marney's lawyer is perfect too. Nova Pilbeam is particularly effective. Not one of Hitchcock's ice cool blondes which is all to the better. 'Young and Innocent' is a valuable entry in the early Hitchcock canon, worth seeing more than once.

Night of the Eagle (1962)

Very Good

[8/10 · 17 July 2006]

A very good example of what you can do with intelligence, care and a low budget. The title 'Night of The Eagle' is misleading in that there is an eagle but only at the end. The title of the story it originated from, 'Conjure Wife' is more satisfying. The film is about the use of magic, not to take over the world or anything grandiose, but the steady bourgeois values of getting on, having a good job, having a nice home. It is this weaving of the domestic with the supernatural that is splendidly done in the film.

The scene that shows this the most takes place early on in the film after the bridge party at the Taylors, a party with its own tensions, when Tansy Taylor is desperately searching for something, under tables, under cushions; until she finds it, a bad luck charm tied to a fringe of a table lamp. Left there by one of the polite guests. The menace and the fear begin from there and doesn't let up.

The cast are uniformly talented especially Peter Wyngarde as the initially doubting academic and Margaret Johnston as his academic colleague with a secret, seemingly mild but really scary. Her smile haunted me for days! Janet Blair as Tansy I thought was too glamorous but otherwise OK. Mention should also be made of the fine photography and stirring music score by the great William Alwyn.

His Private Secretary (1933)

Quite amusing

[6/10 · 28 June 2006]

A young John Wayne out of the saddle and in a light comedy and he does fine as a man called Dick Wallace with a penchant for a pretty face (or pretty legs as the pencil sharpening scene shows!)who encounters his match in a minister's granddaughter. There are some good lines (on being told to keep quiet by the butler when he comes home intoxicated in case he wakes up his father Wayne whispers he will "Let sleeping dads lie")and the film bobs along nicely.

Evalyn Knapp who plays the granddaughter is also very winning as the Private Secretary of the title who helps and soothes Dick Wallace's grumpy father. She is pretty and perky and very charming. Very nice ankles too. The other characters are hardly defined but there is a cheeky boy that one would have liked to have seen more of in the film. Not a classic comedy but sweet without being sugary.

Doomwatch (1972)

Good adaptation

[15 June 2006]

The television series that predated the film was for its time one of the first to use ecological awareness as the driver for a series. It stated baldly that the misuse of science and technology is rotting the foundations of life; the air we breathe, the land we walk on, the sea that surrounds us. The first series particularly was gripping and shocking.

For the film the Doomwatch team of the television series take a lesser part and Ian Bannen becomes the 'star' of the movie. At first it appears to be going towards a zombie film but the director Peter Sasdy keeps a restraining hand on the narrative so it exerts a firm but steady hold on the viewer. It becomes instead a domestic drama which shows the human cost of environmental spoliation. Ian Bannen gives a fine performance as he seeks answers on the unwelcoming and dour island. There is good acting all around, though the George Sanders role is not worthy of his talents, and modest but effective make up effects.

The scene near the end where Bannen is confronted by the 'monsters' is sad and moving. This is not a monsters amok scene but one filled with bewilderment, pain and despair. The end of the film is bleak but appropriately so. There are no easy answers. Early on in the film there seemed a possible romance between Bannen and Judy Geeson but that is nullified by the greater drama around them. A low budget film but more unsettling than other megabuck films on the same theme.

The Groundstar Conspiracy (1972)

Good little film

[8/10 · 26 May 2006]

Lamont Johnson worked a lot in television but he also directed some interesting films that should be better known; A Covenant with Death, The McKenzie Break, The Last American Hero, You'll Like My Mother and Lipstick. (Even Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone has its felicities!) The Groundstar Conspiracy is a low budget but fast moving thriller with a few twists and turns until the tense ending. All the elements of music, photography and dialogue are pulled together neatly to serve the narrative's momentum.

The plot may strain a little at the edges but the film is helped along by some good acting. Michael Sarrazin as the accused man is convincing. You can feel his terror and his bewilderment. Sarrazin's face helps, it looks beat about and haunted. George Peppard as the government man gives one of his best performances. A real hard case, driven almost by paranoia, single minded and ready to do anything to keep the state secure. Christine Belford and Cliff Potts are good too. It's a good little film.

Bridge of Dragons (1999)

Just about works

[7/10 · 14 May 2006]

Set in some bizarre time frame; a medieval hillbilly fascist kung fu post apocalyptic scenario type place, it is a plain story told with lots of visual flourish. The action is John Woo-ish but pretty good with lots of wasted bodies tumbling in picturesque slow motion and colourful explosions and Dolph Lundgren (apart from being burdened with the descriptive monicker 'Warchild'(!) instead of a real name) looks fit and fearless doing the macho bits. He is not a great actor but he does have presence. He can't do romance though.

Valerie Chow is bland but Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa is good value as always. The man does look mean. God has blessed him with a cinematically villainous face. It is odd though to see long standing familiar British actors like John Bennett and Jo Kendall turn up. It all adds to the bizarre charm of the film I suppose. It must also be part of the odd nature of the film in that there were no bridges and no dragons anywhere.