Fortressofdoors Reviews

Sting (2024)

Unsatisfying

[4/10 · 21 May 2024]

I copied the below review because it's exactly how I felt about his movie. It's weird, and not in the good kind of so weird it's good type of way. With the weirdest building layout ever, it's doctor who type of boiler room and air ducts that rival those on the Nostromo. This is not a good film.

The movie fails to execute. Instead of a creepy or thrilling horror about monstrous spiders - we go on and on with the family drama. We get scenes with a dementia-stricken mother, arguments between a stepfather and stepdaughter, arguments between a husband and wife, and discussions about the family's income (mostly tied to the patriarch's odd line of work as a comic-book illustrator). They should've scrapped these scenes and went more with the spiders.

Abigail (2024)

No ballerina joke title

[7/10 · 21 May 2024]

I went into this not knowing anything about it because you can't trust trailers anymore, and from the reviews I read, this was a good decision. All I knew is that it was a horror movie because it was brought to my attention by a friend who is also a horror fan.

At first this comes off as a serious film, but the more you find out about the kidnappers, you realize they are a bumbling group that no one would hire as professionals (ala, Prometheus). As the film goes on, you realize this doesn't matter because the film is not taking itself serious. There is plenty of been there, done that in this. It's nothing new, but it's the lack of attention to details that irritated me. For instance, the foley wasn't done well and some sounds that were added in post production were very obvious. When the sniper is killed, he only has flesh wounds to his face, so how did he die? There is no blood, he just dies standing for some reason. When the girl falls into the pit of bodies, none of them are decomposed and look like they were killed five minutes ago, and the liquid in the pit is some sort of tiny beads or something. The stand-ins for the little girl were adults and it's very apparent, almost as if they didn't even try.

They successfully knock Abigail out with the injection (a second time) and do they do anything during this vital bit of time they have? Nope. Abigail tells the vampire that he made the mistake of not draining her of all of her blood to kill her and lo and behold, he makes the exact same mistake again. People are skewered, and shot and body slammed all over the place and everyone just shakes it off no problem. When the final girl gets her neck chomped by a piranha like vampire, she just pretends to be under his control. I mean I know it's devolved into a half horror, half comedy at this point, but doing these things well is the difference between, man that was a great ride or eh, it was ok.

Fargo: Storia Americana (2020) Season 4, Episode 11

A stretch for Fargo

[5/10 · 23 February 2024]

I figured I would wait until I had watched the entire 4th season before I left a review. I had some issues with this season. One of them being that I cannot take Chris Rock's role as this character seriously. For me, it's the same as seeing Jim Carey in something like this, because I have seen them in so many comedic roles in past so that's all I'm picturing as I'm watching. Glynn Turman who played Doctor Senator would have been perfect for this role. The location and the time period was about as far out of the Fargo universe as you could get no matter how hard they tried to tie it together, so for me it never felt like Fargo. The two "outlaws" they so desperately tried to force into this story just did not work and didn't feel genuine or believable in the least bit. For what it's worth, I think the fate they gave Chris Rock's character at the end was wrong. To have so much happen through the story, just to be taken out by some trivial, two bit character at the end left a bad taste in my mouth. For a stand alone story I would give it a 7, but for a Fargo season, it only gets a 5.

Night Swim (2024)

No watery title pun

[5/10 · 24 January 2024]

You've seen this movie many times already. A family moves into a house with some sort of cursed something or other, but this time it's a swimming pool. Some sort of upbeat music plays as they unpack, frolic or clown around in slow motion. A classic overused opening for the Atomic Blumhouse team who are forever cranking out mediocre play it safe PG-13 titles. Everything here plays out just as you would expect it to for this type of "horror" film made today with plenty of head shaking moments. Also included is the segment where a family member goes online to search for the history of the place. The bad music score does nothing to help it. The best thing it had going for it is the cinematography and that it stars Wyatt Russell, but even he can't save it. On the upside, at least it isn't one of those unheard of 2 star horror movies you find on streaming platforms made with an iphone, the director's friends and a two hundred dollar budget.

Shark Bait (2022)

Worth a shot

[6/10 · 9 January 2024]

I've seen them all. This is definitely not the worst you can do as far as shark movies go. I would put this in the realm of the first 47 meters down, but not bad like The Requin or Two Headed Shark Attack, or some of that Sharknado nonsense, but not as good as The Reef. Average characters, a few scenes that could have been done a bit better, the shark is pretty believable most of the time and the actors did a pretty good job. I felt pity for the characters and was actually rooting for them, which doesn't happen often in these generic types of movies where the characters are as dumb as rocks or just outright annoying.

Cobweb (2023)

A movie for children...I guess

[4/10 · 18 August 2023]

This movie made absolutely no sense, which is why I'm convinced it had to be made for children. There are so many tonal shifts and so many unanswered questions that you can't be invested. Some people say they were ok with the first half and not the second. Some say just the opposite. I can see both points, but it just had two bad halves in my opinion. Why did the parents start out normal and then become weirder and weirder as it went on? How could the thing in the wall have been his sister when it was so old because the parents were definitely not old enough to have a daughter as old as this thing was. I guess the missing girl was the one buried 3 inches in the pumpkin patch? Why would you only grow pumpkins in the entire back yard? How does the little door hold the thing in, when it had nearly clawed it's way out of the wall in the boy's room? It was almost out, so why did it stop? Why would the kids that are old enough to drive care about this little kid and show up at his house to trash it, especially when they had no idea if the parents were home or not? Why did they lock it in the walls, when they had a 10 foot dungeon in the basement....for whatever reason. Sometimes the thing in the wall is strong, and when it's convenient it isn't. In the end this movie just takes too many elements from other movies we've seen before , but just does it with less oomph. The distorted creepy thing with long fingernails and long hair that crawls along the floor and on walls is so played out at this point. By the time they decide to reveal this thing, it's some bad CGI time. At least this one didn't make cracking sounds when it moved. How about the kid that gets tripped at school and has his pumpkin smashed, or the name of his school, Holdenfield. It's enough to make your eyes roll out of your head. This movie is a mess and I doubt I would watch it a second time.

Dashcam (I) (2021)

A+ at delivering a failure

[3/10 · 11 December 2022]

Just when you thought Blumhouse couldn't pump out anything worse, they hand you this atrocity. This is like one of those films you really wish your name wasn't associated with. Who's horrible idea was it to put this woman as the lead in this film? If they wanted to make the audience wish the lead character dead within the first 15 minutes, then they were successful in that aspect. Such a dumb character, with the worst dialogue to ever be put to a film. It isn't even dialogue, it's just word vomit at best. This has to be poster child of how not to make a found footage movie. Three stars for couple of decent effects.

Searching (III) (2018)

5 or 6 at best

[6/10 · 19 November 2022]

John Cho did a fine enough job in this film, but there were too many inconsistencies and technical errors that put this on the level of a Lifetime movie. First of all she had no password on her laptop, when she surely would have. The dad is an expert on guessing passwords on the first attempt, but none of that matters because the police would have taken the girl's laptop and have their own people do the investigation, not the dad doing it all on his own. No detective working a missing persons case is going to face time the the father, at all, and especially in the middle of the night. He would be suspect number one anyway.

Apparently no one thought to ping her phone, and the entire police force just ignored the area that the detective said they had already covered simply because she said so. No one said, uh, no, we haven't covered that area yet. The detective supposedly got the ex con to confess to killing the girl and kill himself, or she killed him, but neither version makes sense, and then were supposed to believe that this dad who is obsessed with finding his daughter is ok with wrapping up the case with no body.

The dad discovers the detectives involvement with the ex con at the same time the daughters memorial service is in progress and he apparently goes to the cops with this crazy theory and they believe him and they go to the memorial service (which is still in progress) to arrest her. All of this is in the space of like an hour. It's laughable. And in the not so much of a twist at the end, the daughter is still alive, and they say this is over the space of five days, but in real time all of this that they show unwinding on the screen would have taken 3 or 4 weeks. When they get to where the daughter fell off of this so called steep cliff with jagged rocks at the bottom, it's nothing more than a very steep embankment that anyone could have crawled out of. This was necessary for cheesy reveal at the end. I really dislike when moves are afraid to take a chance and cop out like that.

Smile (V) (2022)

It somehow just works

[7/10 · 5 November 2022]

I honestly did not expect much going into this film because as most people know, (especially horror fans) is that you usually have to deal with the usual by the numbers Hollywood type of movies throughout the year. This may be one of them for you, as fellow horror fans tend to be the most critical of horror, and they have the right to be, because they have seen it all and have had to endure a lot of stinkers. All I can say here is that for me, this movie creeped me the hell out.

Everyone has that one type of horror or visual or tone that draws out their one deep rooted fear. Most fans dislike jump scares, which is the lowest form of unearned scare for most fans, and this movie did have it's fair share, but if a movie has already checked that box of yours, it will only intensify your dread. This is what it did to me, making me squirm around in my seat while making me feel I was also being stared at from somewhere within the room. I will admit there are a few points in the movie that could have been done better of should have been done a bit differently, but for the most part I think it's pretty effective. I remember clearly thinking at one point in the move, this is the way It Follows should have been done. On another note, I particularly despised the sister and brother in law characters. They were the worst.

I don't know if this movie will have the same effect when seeing it a second time. Maybe not unless you give it some time to get out of your recent memory first. I noticed in the end credits that Studio ADI did the effects for this, so that no doubt is a big contribution factor in the final product.

Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

Strives to be better

[6/10 · 2 November 2022]

While this no doubt had higher production values, larger budget and surprisingly better acting, it ultimately falls short of the campy 80's gory effects of the original. The effects are there, but it's a bit disjointed and the kills and humor just kind of fall flat. Angela doesn't quite have the presence as she does in the first movie, but that's not the fault of the actress. You can tell as they even felt the need to reuse a scene of from the original film. For some odd reason they have her turn into a giant snake at the end, and then close it with some not so well done CG. It's worth a watch if you are a fan of the original, but it feels a bit long as unsatisfying.

It Follows (2014)

A terrible film in every sense of the word

[3/10 · 30 October 2022]

To jump feet first into this tragedy, the acting in this film is absolutely terrible. As deadpan as it gets. Maybe it's because the dialogue is so non-existent and mind numbing that the actors didn't know where they were supposed to go with their characters next. I would like to believe that, but honestly I think it's just a combination of both, bad script and bad acting. The idea of this movie is terrifying, but once you see it unfold and put the smallest amount of thought into it, you can see where the whole thing crumbles like a poorly made gingerbread man. A good indication is the very opening as a girl runs out of her house in her underwear and high heels (as if she's running away from something) but does nothing but run in a big circle in front of her house, just to re-enter the house. Her father asking "what's the matter, what's going on". Wouldn't "what in the hell are you doing running around the neighborhood in your underwear" be a better question?

So "IT" is supposed to be what? A shapeshifter is all I could come up with, because it changes what "IT' is at every available turn. One time it's an old lady, another time, it's a 7 foot man, so that is the only explanation possible. Except the movie never shows it, explains it, or tells how, or why it happens. It's just one cut scene after another of a different actor taking their turn being "IT" walking toward the main character menacingly.

If having sex with someone how the curse is transferred, surely there would eventually be multitudes of "infected" people right? Not according to this movie. When the movie shows "IT" finally catch up to one of it's intended victims, what does it do? It dry humps him to death. Clever. At one time it's a naked middle aged man that somehow ends up on the roof of their house watching them drive away. What? In the pool scene, they shoot it in the head while it's attacking the girl in the pool, and then she climbs out and looks over the edge and the whole pool starts filling up with blood, and then it just abruptly cuts to a completely different scene elsewhere. Did that stop it? Apparently so, because they are all still alive in the following scene. So the answer is to shoot it in the head, got it. Mystery solved.

The ending is a about as much of a non ending as you will ever see. Head scratching and unsatisfying is the best way to describe the movie. I gave this film 3 chances, at my friend's request, but that's 2 too many. This movie is just silly.

Monster (2022–2024)

More Netflix Lies

[4/10 · 26 October 2022]

But, I'm not a believer in 1 star or 10 star ratings. Those ratings exist purely to sway the overall rating , which is not how anyone should be reviewing something. This had me drawn in at first, because I thought it was going to be a true telling of what they learned about Dahmer, his thought process, how it might help spot, catch and maybe prevent serial killers and shed some light on who his victims were. You know, something that effect. However, what we discover early on, is that it is a story that blatantly lies to you over and over, makes up it's own characters and events and how they happened and turns it into another Netflix Lifetime movie. Honestly, between Amazon Prime, Hulu, Shudder, Paramount, HBO Max, Tubi, Pluto and more, there is less and less of a reason to keep them around.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Absolutely bonkers

[9/10 · 22 October 2022]

I don't have much of a better way to describe this movie. The first Terrifier was a solid 7 for me, but this thing just skyrockets to the top. This is the way horror movies (or any movie for that fact) were meant to be seen. Not stripped to the very core by some board or committee that's supposed to be the judge of what you should or should not be able to view as a grown adult. They should be forced to submit a letter of apology to Tom Savini for years of butchering his FX work. If they don't think kids under a certain age should be able to see something fine, but don't punish those involved with edits or threats of X ratings. Honestly as a kid, it used to make me angry then too. Anyway, horror fans should absolutely see this insanity. Sure it's mindless, it's brutal, and a little dumb at the end, but it's about an un-killable psychotic clown, what do you expect. How this got into theatres, I have no idea, but it's hilarious that it did.

Come True (2020)

A Nightmare on Matrix Street

[5/10 · 18 October 2022]

Recommended by a movie reviewer Youtuber that I follow, so I gave it a shot. I was really into this movie up until about the middle, and then it suddenly felt like it was dragging from there on out as long shots and sequences are repeated (in style and substance that is) and a synth soundtrack that is almost too overbearing for it's own good. The lead is kind of off putting, and I don't say that to be mean, it's just how it felt. Intentional? Possibly. Her haircut and build reminded me of the little kid from the movie Wish Upon, so when a certain scene rolled around, it felt very uncomfortable, not to mention unnecessary. I guess they made her state her age just before that because they knew it was going to come off as weird. Who knows? Dark dream sequences that feel chilling at first begin to be repetitive with no payoff or real explanation. Maybe they don't need to be seeing as they are dream sequences, but they were definitely repetitive.

Some points I noticed in the movie are, at one point the main character is walking in a dream state out of a parking garage in the pouring rain, and in the next shot when the guy following her catches up to her, it's dry outside. At the end of the movie when they attach the mobile dream sucking device to her head, they follow her while monitoring what she is dreaming about, and for a very, very, very long time, yet this device and the his 100,000 lumen flashlight are still working just fine. As if that wasn't enough, POOF, she is suddenly wearing big clown sized house slippers. The two dream masters then get taken by the shadow demons from the movie Ghost. It doesn't matter anyway because it abruptly cuts to another scene where she was getting busy with Dr Feelgood and got all stabby thumbs with his eyes. She then wanders into the bathroom to discover that she has grown fangs. A very WUT moment. But even that doesn't matter as it pans to her cell phone with a message that she has been in a coma for 20 years, and you suddenly feel cheated with a gotcha from the oldest trick in the cinema book.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Good riddance

[4/10 · 17 October 2022]

While Halloween certainly had it's flaws, it by no means was on the level that the last two rancid installments have been. Just when you think you couldn't stand to hear "evil dies tonight" one more sickening time, along comes Ends, or should I say The Corey Show, with special guest appearance Michael Myers. Not only did they add this clown in the last installment, they did one better and made him the star of the movie. Allyson is a mindless side character, but then again she has been through all three films. Laurie is now a cookie baking grandma who is no longer afraid of Michael Myers, although he's been on the loose for 4 years, but when he was locked up for 40 she lost her mind and became a reclusive survivalist. How does that make any sense? Not only that but Michael was apparently living off of, I don't know, grubs and rats in the sewer. At the end of Kills, they had him magically turn into Iron Man and jump up from near death and Chuck Norris the entire group that had beat him down. But it gest even better, as Corey is beaten up by the ugliest high schoolers in Haddonfield, yet he can overpower Michael Myers. Who in god's name gave this horrid script the green light? This whole trilogy has been one incoherent, inconsistent mess! In the shortest duel in history, Laurie some frigging how easily overpowers the shape and kills him. Then, someone turns on the bat signal and the entire town stops what they're doing and shows up in seconds to help Laurie escort Michael (tied to the roof) to the impound yard to throw him into the scrap grinder. I'm just laughing at this point because it's so so stupid. What a disservice this trilogy (especially Ends) wound up being to Halloween fans.

Deadstream (2022)

It is what it is

[6/10 · 16 October 2022]

Deadstream. It's right there in the title, so you already know what to expect going in. I went into this expecting exactly what I got. A low budget half comedy (probably more comedy) horror. This movie doesn't try to pretend to be anything that it isn't. It knows what it is, and it delivered that. I jumped a few times, had some laughs, and I'll give them props for doing the best with what they had. It helps that the Chrissy character is a pretty actress, so there's that. I'm kind of surprised some of the reviews were so harsh. Not everything on a shoestring budget is going to be Evil Dead level. I didn't hate it, and it entertained me for the runtime, so mission accomplished. Just do your homework and know what you're going into. Not enough people do that before watching something and then get mad after they don't like what they see. My formula for IMDB reviews, from what I have discovered, is if something has at least a 6 or above rating, it's usually worth taking a chance on. It hasn't failed me yet.

Significant Other (2022)

Mediocre at best

[6/10 · 14 October 2022]

Would I give this a 1, no i wouldn't, but I sure as heck wouldn't give it a 10 either. The film starts out with some kind of organic alien being seen in the first 15 minutes, so you immediately know which direction this is going. I have to admit that the first half was pretty solid and I almost forgot I was watching a sci-fi (ish) movie. Then, the twist is revelated at the beginning of the second half and it goes off of the rails. One reviewer here, (I'm looking at you SuperGeek1) goes on and on about this being the greatest thing ever, rating it a 10, but warns not to listen to idiot reviews here or anywhere else, but somehow thinks they are not one of the idiots. Surprise!

This is probably not the worst thing you're ever going to watch. I mean, it entertained me for the run time, but it's silly at some points and it's not going to be on your short list of regular watches either. Worth a watch, but a one and done.

Vesper (2022)

Not great, but very solid

[8/10 · 8 October 2022]

The only way I know how to describe this movie is Guillermo del Toro meets Half Life. I really enjoy movies like this that aren't sunshine and puppies, you know, like real life. The cinematography is really good and I really like the dull muted color pallet. There is nothing ground breaking here, but it's done really well and it kept my interest from start to finish. There are no explosions, flashy lights or cornball dialogue, so zero attention spanners probably won't like it much. So if you like the likes of Dune, Del Toro, Half Life. Biotanica and maybe a touch of Blade Runner, then this might be for you. I've really had a hard time finding something new that I thought was worth watching lately, but this I liked. -7.5.

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

I took one for the team

[3/10 · 7 October 2022]

Despite the reviews, I had to give this a go. It's like one of those challenges like when I read the reviews about The Requin, I just had to see it for myself. To be honest, I was (kind of) ok with it until the creeper showed up and then the rest of it went downhill from there. Does he come back from some kind of secret place or hallowed ground? Nope, after 23 years he just crawls out of some abandoned building and peels off some crust. The creeper looked like someone in a creeper mask with an outfit make from gorilla tape.

Our couple attends what appears to be the equivalent of a dollar store cosplay convention or circus, or....something and it probably had a whopping 24 people. The acting wasn't the worst I've seen, but the dialog was pretty bad and the story was pretty dumb. The CG was pretty obvious, and I spotted a couple places where green screen was used but they failed to overlay it properly and there was still green. The most obvious use of CG I guess would be at the end where the two cop cars are sitting in a completely CG background. I had a laugh there. The whole thing reminded me of one of those bad YT fan made videos.

Some of it didn't make much sense. For instance, the creeper gets wounded in his hand, so he pulls his own arm completely off for some reason just so he can eat someone else's arm to regrow another. Another time he pulls some girl's brain out, completely in tact, (like one of those prop brains you would order) and eats it? Why, he wasn't missing a brain? The creeper taunts people unlike the creeper does, that bugged me too. At the end it turns into a steel cage wrestling match. How they kill him was pretty funny too. Overall, yeah, it stinks, but I'll give it a 3 for effort. I didn't think it could get any worse than part 3, but they did it.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Stupid sexy Scarlet

[6/10 · 5 October 2022]

First I would like to say that I enjoy these types of movies that contain ambiguity, and some side character doesn't come in and tell you word for word what's going on or why something happened. There is a lot I liked about his film. Some of the cinematography, some of the bizarre imagery, and some of the score. However, I watched this film twice, hoping that with each repeated viewing I would like it better, but that did not happen.

There are far too shots that just carry on far, far too long in damn near complete silence. You do not have to have first attended some kind of film school to understand what is going on here and the deeper meaning behind some of the director's choices. That doesn't make it any less boring of a movie. It could have been trimmed by twenty minutes and it would have made it easier for the audience to endure. I read one review that compared this direction style to Kubrick and Lynch, and that made me laugh. You fellow reviewer, are out of your mind. Another questioned, did you watch the trailer, did you watch the trailer? Well, yes I did, all of them and guess what, it made zero difference. If you plan to watch this, I recommend you enable subtitles, because you will barely understand a word of the dialogue if you don't. I didn't dislike this film enough to rip it apart, but on the same note, I wasn't thrilled with it either. It just kind of falls flat for the most part.

Terrifier (2016)

Not too shabby

[7/10 · 3 October 2022]

Having seen this a couple years ago, I thought I would revisit it and catch up since Terrifier 2 is about to be released. I hadn't remembered too much about it except the fact that it was pretty gory and had made a mental note that it wasn't just a one and done like countless others that I've suffered through. I was fine with most of the film except for a couple of points which may just be nitpicking on my part. For instance, Art brutalizes all of his victims, except Mike the exterminator who returns to save the day with only a minor cut on his head. I really hate the trope with the next to last victim showing back up just in time to save the final girl (a done to death theme in Friday the 13th films). When art scalps the crazy cat lady, we see that he only scalped the top of her head, yet when he surprises the final girl, he is wearing her full head of hair. When Art saws the girl down the middle, he would need a little more than just a hacksaw. He would need maybe some homemade super hacksaw I suppose? I don't know. When the final girl escapes at the end, what does she do? She goes right back into the very building she just escaped from. Attention to detail matters, even with something like this. Other than these points I would say everyone carries their weight as far as acting goes, especially Art. At least there wasn't that one person that acts so bad that it drags the entire film down, so there's that. Oh, and the poo smearing in the bathroom, that could have been left out. I want to watch a horror film, not a scat film.

Extraterrestrial (2014)

Lifetime Outer Limits

[5/10 · 1 October 2022]

This is a dumb film, but it didn't have to be. There were a lot of elements that worked, but more that didn't'. Who's insane idea was it to put this amount of ridiculous drama in most awkward of places in an alien invasion/abduction film? The first red flag was the actor that played the party friend that got "invited" to go with them. This character was so over the top that I couldn't take any scene he was in serious. They are walking to the crash site and debris is on the left and right sides of them almost creating a sidewalk path, and every piece is on fire. That's like some syfy level stuff there. They get to the UFO and it's intact in the ravine it created. How could it have skidded and created this ravine when they clearly just showed it explode in a huge fireball? The sheriff character does a decent job, but his deputy is another over the top character spouting moronic lines. There is a scene where lights are circling the cabin that just drag on for what seems like 20 minutes while the lead girl and her girlfriend reminisce about vacation when they were kids. The aliens take her boyfriend and gets them to come back for her by flagging them down with a roman candle. A special WTF moment. The very end my be the silliest drawn out dramatic event I have ever seen on film, as if it were the scene in Platoon where Willem Defoe gets gunned down by the Vietcong. Michael Ironside is the only noteworthy thing in this in my opinion.

Sorority Row (2009)

The worst slasher ever?

[3/10 · 28 September 2022]

Suffering through this movie was particularly hard. If you like a cast of unlikable characters, slutty frat girls and idiotic frat dude bros dancing around to never ending party scenes to bad music, then this atrocity is for you. Bad acting, bad dialogue, off screen kills, spot lights set among overly used fog machines and doubled down color filters on top of a burning house that never really burns. The long and elaborate prank at the beginning of the film that none would ever take the time to coordinate. An abandoned mine shaft that is conveniently 20 feet from where the initial killer accidentally stabs a girl in the center of her chest so there "won't be any air in her lungs". Not even the police bother to look for the missing girl apparently. Stupid and full of dumb tropes is the only way to describe this. Some of the dialogue is so silly that it's hard to tell if it was meant to be funny or just part of the horrendous writing. How they ever managed to rope Carrie Fisher into this is mind boggling. They can't even manage to look scared for the poster for this movie. Avoid this if you possibly can.

The Gate (1987)

A fun little film

[6/10 · 26 September 2022]

Most people will watch this for the nostalgia, but this is fun typical 80s creature feature. The effects are pretty straight forward for the time and the story is as silly as you would expect, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's basically a low budget version of Stranger Things set in the 80s. I would put this movie in the same vein as another 80s movie for with the same atmosphere and charm, Invaders from Mars. One of those intentionally campy films that just wants you to suspend all disbelief and entertain you for 90 minutes. The writer apparently had some kind of fascination with model rockets, as that's what the movie seems to be centered around. The ending doesn't make a lot of sense, but it doesn't really need to. I'll give it the same score I gave it back then, 6/10.

Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

Adobe after effects ghosts

[4/10 · 25 September 2022]

As with most Grave Encounters fans, I enjoyed the first movie. While it didn't break any new ground, it did manage to bring it's own twisted charm. This film on the other hand gives you the worst of every trope there is. The first 40 minutes has these bad characters that you eventually care nothing about, doing almost nothing while enduring their stupid drunken college party antics. When you watch a horror movie for the first time and see this kind of stuff unfold, you automatically know it's going to be a bad film. When they finally get to the asylum, things just immediately happen, there is no slow build up like in the first one. It's repeated bad cg ghosts with dark eyes and stretched open mouths. At one point there is a bald...I don't know, demon I guess, that chases them (the one on the film's cover) which may have been half convincing if the mouth ever moved, but it doesn't. Stop and go, found footage and then not found footage and floating cameras and a red door that leads to nowhere and portals that suck one of the characters in. My second time watching because I had forgotten just how bad it was back in 2012. It's all just so dumb and contrived that I don't even want to type about it any more.