geoaar-1 Reviews

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

NOT based on a true story NOTHING about the man is what we're told

[1/10 · 10 January 2024]

When I first saw this movie I was quite captivated by it. It's well made, well acted, and all the elements for a solid production are there and the story was very compelling. BUT the only reason it works is because you believe this fantastic tale is true.

Once I discovered that the whole thing is entirely a fabrication, that it's all just a fairy tale with almost ZERO basis in fact I felt personally betrayed. Maybe it's because I've been conned once too often in my life, but I was furious when I found out the extent of Mr. Abagnale's deceit.

He never impersonated a doctor, or a professor, or ever passed the bar exam, or acted as an attorney or any of the other fantastic feats that he claims. He was just a low-grade punk who kited checks and ripped off his friends and family and anyone who he befriended. He was arrested 6 or 7 times and often got off lightly due to the efforts of good-hearted folks who were trying to help him. His most effective con was the one he pulled over on everyone about what a lovable, brilliant, clever conman that he never was.

So the movie just loses all it's lustre when you realize that you're part of the conjob yourself. In the unlikely event of me meeting Mr. Abagnale at some time, I'm likely to give him an horrific dopeslap for taking me in.

The Chase (1966)

An utter waste of a great cast

[3/10 · 26 December 2023]

I saw the title and was unimpressed, but after reading the names of the cast members I was prepared for a film epic. What was delivered was, uh, less.

I started to get suspicious when I heard the name of Robert Redford's character. Who in the entire universe would ever even consider "Bubber" to be a likely nickname for someone who looks like Redford (whose hair is almost perfectly quaffed throughout his prison break and slogging through the swamps of some - I guess - southern town)? But that was only the beginning of the absurdities. That, and the overall quality of the production values seemed about on par with that of a poorly-funded community theatre play.

None of the characters are even vaguely believable. The drama -what there is of it, anyway - always feels contrived and unnatural. And one is constantly aware that they're viewing a really poorly devised soap opera. Did they even have a script? SMH...

Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951)

Great Saturday Matinee fare (for kids)

[4/10 · 21 October 2023]

First the good part - the technicolor and the sets and even the costumes give a great look to the film. Other than that, the storyline, the love interest, and the overall tone of the movie are just too sappy, predictable, and often downright cringeworthy. I found it particularly absurd to think that two women could be lost on the high seas, yet continue to appear with their hair and makeup and evening gowns all flawlessly maintained. And then there's the hopelessly cartoonish evil villains juxtaposed with the saintly demigod Hornblower. It was pretty corny.

I think it's the ideal film for 10 year-old boys. Other than that, not so much.

The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

Not much to begin with and it didn't age well.

[3/10 · 24 July 2023]

As lots of folks have already noted, there's not much story to go along with the hype. Way overdone, sappy, and boring, this flick pales in comparison to simply going to an actual circus. While I'm sure it sold a little better when it came out, I have a hard time imagining how anybody could have voted this as "best picture" with a straight face. Jimmy Stewart does what he does and isn't at all annoying. The same can't be said for any of the rest of the cast. And Betty Hutton really puzzles me. Just what is it that she does? She's not terribly attractive, she's a HORRIBLE singer, and her acting ability is something less than one would expect of a high school drama class student. Just how DID she make it in show business? Maybe she was really skilled at working the casting couch? I dunno. Anyway, don't expect too much from this corny melodrama and maybe you won't be too disappointed.

Empire of the Sun (1987)

Despite the resources devoted to it's creation, it just falls short

[5/10 · 6 April 2023]

Like most any Spielberg film, they didn't cut a lot of corners to make a good movie. But I could never really get into the show because of all of the blatant reminders that this is indeed, just a film. Here it is, brutal, heartless wartime, but, despite four years passing, no one gets any older, skinnier, or appears to suffer any lasting physical harm. Everyone always appears to be shaved and scrubbed, hair well trimmed and combed, and reasonably well-dressed for the duration. They may have been suffering horrific deprivation, but I guess it was a decidedly upper-middle class sort of deprivation. And everything seemed to be, while maybe not clinically sterile, certainly a lot cleaner and neater than one would expect war to provide. And even the deteriorating buildings and furniture and drapes and clothing were always deteriorated in a neat and orderly fashion. Even when Jim was supposedly crawling in the mud, he came out virtually spotless, until he finally had to force his face into the mud. And even then he ended up with a neat, uniform layer of gray mud carefully and symmetrically placed on his cheeks and forehead. Even the battle scenes and crowd scenes have a forced neatness to them. The attacking planes fly in neat straight lines and explosions are all precise and uniform. The end result being that the entire movie looked like just what it was - a carefully constructed set with minutely planned and precisely executed stunts and special effects. So you have, finally, a lot of overly managed scenes to tell a rather unremarkable story.

Fallen Angel (1945)

One of the worst movies I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 30 August 2022]

There is NOTHING to recommend this film. The acting is wooden - at best. The direction, the sets, even the editing is mediocre at it's best moments. And the writing is utterly absurd. What little there is of a plot is sparse and nonsensical. No one in the movie behaves in an even vaguely realistic manner. Nobody's actions make even a hint of sense. Who would agree to marry a man who was a complete stranger and who continually acts as if he's a psychopath? Yet not one, but TWO beautiful women both take him up on his proposal. And then - even after he manages to marry of the women, he takes off to see another girl who's jilted him, rather than stay with his new wife on their wedding night. Then there's the cop who beats an innocent suspect. The old cafe owner who's heartbroken that the beautiful waitress - who's half his age - doesn't love him. It's breathtakingly stupid from the opening scene till the credits roll up. Don't bother...

Run Silent Run Deep (1958)

Tiresome to watch

[2/10 · 18 February 2022]

I could understand this movie better if it had been made about 15 years sooner. The war was at it's height and the folks at home would probably appreciate a rah-rah propaganda film. But to turn out this sort of tripe in 1958? Why? The actors all seemed to be rather uncomfortable in their roles. The "special effects" were pretty clunky and the story was almost non-existent. I got the feeling that Gable and Lancaster were almost embarrassed to be in the film. And, to be sure, the dialogue is sappy and forced and almost painful to endure. This was not good work.

Road to Perdition (2002)

Filmmaking at near perfection.

[8/10 · 30 January 2022]

Everything about this period gangster flick is about as close to flawless as is humanly possible. Each scene is framed precisely, the sets, costumes, supporting cast is all spot on. The acting and directing are top notch throughout. An aspiring filmmaker could do a lot worse than study every second of this picture to further himself in his trade.

It's just a shame that there wasn't more story to go along with all of that talent. The plot was thin at best with a sort of throwaway ending.

Still well worth the time.

Lilies of the Field (1963)

Hasn't aged well

[3/10 · 19 January 2022]

I remember seeing this film as a kid and mostly enjoying it. But after sitting through it again just a day or two ago, I was mostly disappointed. The writing and basic plot are just too lame to believe. This might pass as an episode for a weekly sitcom, but it's hardly noteworthy for the big screen. Were it not for it being one of Sidney Poitier's first big roles, I seriously doubt anybody would remember it. It's just too sappy and contrived and downright painful to watch at times.

Allied (2016)

Sort of a Film Noir version of Casablanca

[6/10 · 4 February 2018]

The film has a great look to it. The sets and costumes and props all look appropriate for the era. And the overall feel of the movie is just about perfect. But there just doesn't seem to be enough story to go with all that. You have a basic story of divided loyalties and love gone wrong and the cruelty of war, yada, yada, and a predictable ending. The action scenes are well done, though they strain credulity as any super-hero movie would. The good guys always come out unscathed and all the bad guys die, but it is a movie, after all. Brad Pitt does a good job and now looks the part for more mature roles, his boyish face finally starting to show some age. So, yeah, it's worth a look, but the ending is somewhat unsatisfying, and the whole story is just a couple of clicks short of being really interesting.

Chance (2016–2017)

Ill-conceived, poorly written, just second rate

[3/10 · 14 October 2017]

Having been a tepid fan of "House", I was really hoping this venture would have been a lot better than it appears to be. The writing, the characters, the plot, the framing - it's all lack-lustre.

Having a highly-regarded shrink violate his professional ethics so thoroughly for no real return was hard enough to accept. But then when he teams up with an overweight, junk-food addicted, ersatz Ninja, it just got ridiculous. How did his pudgy friend become such an irresistabe force in the dark martial arts anyway? And how did he also become an unshakeable sage in analyzing every situation in life with an astounding zero margin of error? They seem to have had the resources and the talent. Why couldn't they do better?

Restoration Home (2011– )

Restoration Diaries

[7/10 · 9 January 2017]

Being a remodeling contractor myself, I'm always drawn to these type of shows. It's appealing to me to see the transformation and to see how other people handle similar situations I confront on a daily basis.

The only really irritating part of the show is the strained bit of melodrama that the host is continually trying to inject into the narrative. "Isn't this a terrible burden?" or such like are her constant refrain when talking to the owners about the progress of their project. Personally, I couldn't care less about the strife the owners may or may not be actually enduring. I'm interested in the work on the building. And sensationalizing every structural issue that always crops up in such work as if no one would have expected any such thing is a little annoying too.

I think more focus should be on the state of the building and how the actual work is progressing. Keirin and Kate add little to nothing in my opinion, outside of stating the painfully obvious. And I often wonder why they always show Caroline walking up a country road or across a field to the house, as if she walked all the way from London to see the project? It's more than a little silly as a plot device. But, they've got an hour to fill and I guess they need to stretch things out now and then.

The only other thing that I find remarkable about the program is the apparent difficulty of working with the government officials in charge of historical review. I thought working with the historical society was difficult in the States, but the Brits seem to take it to a whole new level. The requirements and restrictions from seeming pompous and self-important bureaucrats would be a deal-breaker from the git-go for me.

The show is worth watching, but I wish they'd do a better job of following up on the unfinished aspects of previous projects.

The Nice Guys (2016)

Lots of fun, not much substance...

[7/10 · 13 July 2016]

First I get the ugly parts out of the way. The script is muddled, weak and lacking in credibility. Most of the supporting actors are dreadful. And a few of the characters are downright annoying.

The good part is, it's still a fun movie. Russell Crowe as a streetwise, knuckle-crunching, mercenary bad guy really works. And Ryan Gosling plays an entirely believable not-overly-bright private detective. The interaction between those two was the show. Most of the other stuff got in the way.

The soundtrack was wonderful and all of the mid-70s trivia was just perfect.

The end of the film - with the detectives teaming up in a new co. seems to set the stage for a "Nice Guys" franchise I guess. If that's really the case, the producers need to get some better writers for the next episode if they expect this formula to work again. But this first time out was a lot of fun.

House of Cards (2013–2018)

Running out of gas

[6/10 · 6 March 2016]

I really loved the original, English version of House of Cards - with it's Snidely Whiplashesque villain Francis Urquehart, and I was delighted watching the first season of the Kevin Spacey version as it promised to be even better.

But with each succeeding season the quality of the writing seems to go down, with the plot lines getting thinner and thinner. Now with season 4 the writers have apparently given up altogether. First off they missed completely in their prediction of where gas prices were headed and forecast another oil embargo like the early '70s. Then they trumped up some really lame scandals to dog the Underwoods, like an old photo purportedly of Francis' father posing with a Ku Klux Klan member (like the Underwoods don't eat scandals like that for breakfast). And Claire and Francis have an ill-defined marital crisis with Claire running off to run for a congressional seat she would seemingly not have a chance in hell of winning. And late in the season's episodes they have incredibly unlikely things happening like the Underwoods having their presidential opponents over for the weekend (and Frank and his rival having a semi-testy pissing match in the White House kitchen).

Everything about the stories now strains credulity to the breaking point with little or no explanation as to why people react the way they do. It's all so very contrived it gets annoying.

I'm not expecting much of season 5 (if there even IS one).

Ironweed (1987)

Long, just very long.

[3/10 · 17 February 2016]

I, like many others I assume, was drawn to this film by it's list of actors. With a cast like that it's gotta be great, right? As it turns out, not so much.

The story here is simply not THAT interesting to warrant a run time of almost two and a half hours. A baseball player accidentally kills his child and then, in his grief, abandons his family and becomes a bum. Years later he goes back to see his wife and is welcomed home with (mostly) open arms. And things really don't develop much more than that.

So A-listers, Jack Nicholson and Merrill Streep flounder around a gloomy set and try to act their way to an epic film, but they just don't have the material to work with. So you end up with a very drawn out, dreary, and unavoidably BORING movie.

It's certainly not worth the time investment when there's no payoff.

Hail, Caesar! (2016)

Wonderfully crafted but wanting on storyline

[6/10 · 14 February 2016]

Let me start out by saying that I'm a dedicated Coen Brothers fan. I love their sense of humor and the high standards they cling to in filmmaking.

That being said, I think they should have brought more story to this effort. The production values, the sets, the props, the overall look, and dialog are just about as close to perfect as human beings can get. Every scene is just about flawless. And there's lots of chuckles and wonderful parodies of old time Hollywood films. The Esther Williams/synchronized swimming bit and the Gene Kellyesque barroom dance number were just magic. You'd swear Busby Berkeley was reincarnated for the choreography. But that's what you get for the price of admission. The little bit of story is hardly relevant to the rest of the film. Indeed, George Clooney's role could have been trimmed out in editing and the film would have been none the worse for wear.

So, go expecting a few really well-done parodies of old Hollywood musicals and a lot of inside jokes about Tinseltown gossip and fabulous production values. Just don't expect any story, cause there just ain't any.

Along Came a Spider (2001)

A few too many plot twists

[4/10 · 18 December 2015]

Obviously Hollywood types have to pay their bills too. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason this turkey was made. Morgan Freeman did his best, I'm sure, but he wasn't given much to work with. The rest of the cast? Meh...

With just about every kidnapping movie cliché' written in and outright ripoffs of a dozen other shows (the running from phone to phone sequence being lifted in toto from Clint Eastwood's first "Dirty Harry")it's surprising that the writers were still able to keep the script as tension and interest free as they did.

The plot holes are so freaking enormous as to make one start screaming at the screen halfway through. The whole effort is clearly a miss.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Very Comic Book Robin Hood

[6/10 · 1 November 2015]

I echo a lot of what the other reviews had to say. This is a well made movie. There's good sets and costumes (although Sherwood Forest looked a lot more like a Hollywood set than an English forest) and great cinematography and even some acting that wasn't too bad.

What is really lacking is decent dialog. GAWD is the dialog corny. And Kevin Costner did an absolutely dreadful job throughout most of the movie. Some scenes he was passable, many he was not. Of course, given the writing and the ridiculous lines he had to deliver, it wasn't all his fault.

Morgan Freeman does a good job for what he has to do - act humble and sage and then fight with invincibility - I'd guess that's not too hard. But I really don't know what his character is even doing in the show. I guess I can allow that much artistic license, but lordy, somebody should've been watching the script closer.

Anyway, enjoy it for what it is, a medium-budget swashbuckler with nice backgrounds and props and very little story. It's a Saturday Matinée kinda flick.

Time Team (1994– )

better than the other crap they make shows out of

[5/10 · 11 October 2015]

I love archeology and was overjoyed when I first found this show. But after seeing a few episodes my enthusiasm decreased markedly.

It seems all too often they end up digging a site where there's nothing to be found. Or what they can find doesn't translate very well into television format. An imperceptible stain in the soil that we're told is ironclad proof of an Anglo-Saxon settlement is hardly riveting. And then there's the regular crew, some of whom I find to be nigh unto repellent in their on-air personas (Phil being chief in that regard).

Then, with scant to non-existent evidence the whole staff, no doubt desperate to make a program out of nothing, go off on wild speculation about the vast villa or palace that once surely graced the landscape. I guess it's safe enough to do that as there's seldom any method to verify whatever theories they cook up, no matter how outlandish and unsupported.

I could still find the program very interesting if they'd just give up on the idiotic (and utterly arbitrary) 3-day time limit. Home many shows have they ended with the closing "well, we could have done better if we'd have only had a little more time" or some such. Here's an idea - TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED TO GET THE JOB DONE.

Anyway, it was a nice try. I just wish they'd have approached it differently.

Black Mass (2015)

Another Gangster movie

[6/10 · 18 September 2015]

A really well-done movie! The cinematography is real eye-candy for the whole pic. And Johnny Depp and cast all do a fine job.

If only there was more story to go with. Right from the opening scene you know pretty much what's going to happen, and you'll be right. There's no surprises, no plot twists, and not even much in the way of new information throughout the whole film.

Whitey Bulger is a really bad guy and he has some really bad friends as well. There's lots of typical gangland violence, lots of ratting out one's buddies, plea bargaining, and psychopathic personalities and "Goodfellas" ripoffs, and only about 20 minutes or so of actual story to tell.

Not awful, just not a lot there.

Cashback (2006)

Incredibly Immature

[3/10 · 23 August 2015]

A vapid tale of a young man (teenager?) going through normal adolescent angst - about as deep as a puddle of crocodile tears.

Here is a young man so tormented by his recent breakup with his girlfriend that he simply can't sleep - at all. So what to do with the extra hours? Why, get a night shift job at a grocery store. A store inhabited entirely by equally immature and one-dimensional jerks.

But our hero finds that he has a secret ability. Where it came from nobody knows, but he can freeze time! So he's free to wander around the store, undressing the (all drop-dead gorgeous) women in the store. But this isn't for any prurient interests, No! He's an artist after all and he just wants to appreciate their natural beauty and draw a few sketches of them. And maybe fondle them a little too, but only in a very artistic manner.

Add to this the most rudimentary of plots and a few more cartoon-like, one-dimensional characters and you have Cashback. A boy is heartbroken over a short relationship, he gets a job, and falls for the girl who works at the store. The end. This is philosophy and meaning of life as seen through the eyes of a lovesick thirteen-year-old boy. It's just pathetic.

The troubling thing to me is that there are so many over-the-top reviews of this movie on IMDb singing it's praises as one of the great movies of all time. This says to me that there's either many more horny adolescent boys writing out reviews for such movies, OR there's a small army of paid reviewers cranking out laudatory comments on demand. I kinda think it's the latter.

Nobody's Fool (1994)

"It's a Wonderful Life" on crack

[3/10 · 18 May 2015]

I don't know what to make of this movie. It's trying so hard to be heartwarming and quirky and full of irascible charm, and it misses on every count.

It comes off as simply contrived, poorly written and cloying. The acting is mediocre. The story wanders around aimlessly with numerous plot points that go nowhere and then it just sort of peters out all together and the credits roll up. "Uneven" doesn't begin to say it.

It's not overly long, but, being as the story never really seems to develop, it seems like it. It's not the worst movie ever made, but I think maybe it was trying to be.

Regarding Henry (1991)

Tepid

[5/10 · 22 February 2015]

Being a hardcore Harrison Ford fan I thought this would be - at least - an entertaining movie. Harrison Ford is never in a bad movie, right? Sadly, no. Wrong.

The main issue I have with this show is the believability factor. There is none. Why would a cold-blooded, mercenary law firm keep Henry on the payroll at all? He's obviously never going to be a mover and shaker again, as he once was. Why don't they just give him a nice severance package and move on? And how come Henry - who's been seriously brain-damaged - can figure out that his firm cheated on folks? Why would his wife keep old love letters from a long dead affair? Where did their money come from to keep on with their lavish lifestyle? And where was that money going to come from after Henry quit the law? And how did Henry recover so quickly - learning to read in a matter of a few minutes? It's all just a feel-good, chick-flick, fairytale for adults.

I expected much more from such a talented cast and crew...

Cleopatra (1963)

Uh, long...

[14 February 2015]

Are you kidding me? There is NOTHING right about this movie. It's got lots of glitz and glitter and lavish sets and costumes, but it looks like it was filmed at a costume party in Beverly Hills. Nothing about this movie says "ancient Egypt". The acting (Elizabeth Taylor being hopelessly miscast for starters) was stiff and lifeless to be charitable, the sets and the costumes looked like exactly what they were, modern reproductions of what we think ancient folks wore and lived in. All in all it seemed like a boring time in the suburbs someplace. The overall "look" being a complete miss. Add to that a storyline that is about as slow and event-free as anything in recent memory and you've got what all the critics originally said this movie was - a flop.

Django Unchained (2012)

Tepid Tarantino

[5/10 · 31 October 2014]

If you LOVE Tarantino flicks, you'll likely enjoy this one. It has the typical Tarantino "look", the gratuitous - even surreal - violence, the pointless, totally uncalled for and non-sequitor warfare, and a rather weak storyline.

I found myself not caring much for any of the characters after a very short while. And the unbelievably good fortune of Django to take on DOZENS of crazed, white, Southerners and manage to kill them all without getting so much as a fleshwound strains credulity to the breaking point. And then the climax of the epic is that Django gets his girl back. Awww.

It wasn't horrible, but it was kinda lame.