ThirtySevenSquared Reviews

The A-Team (2010)

Overblown, super-exaggerated trash... and I loved every minute

[7/10 · 9 June 2010]

I was quite a fan of the A-Team when I was a wee lad, thanks mostly to cable TV reruns, and I was eagerly anticipating this movie from the moment I saw the first episode. At no time did I think it wouldn't happen.

Of course, as the years passed, and I grew older and wiser, I came to realise that an A-Team movie might just be a really bad idea. I mean, c'mon, an ex-Army unit that never kills ANYONE? That uses ridiculous plans that frequently broke the laws of logic and physics? Yeah, right.

Fortunately, when this film WAS announced, I couldn't help but feel a little excited. Especially when that cast came forward. And the first trailer had me revved up... and nervous. Could so easily be trash.

Well, it is trash. Trash of the most glorious, overblown, wonderfully-fun kind. Tongue planted firmly in cheek, and with utter acknowledgement of the fact that the most it can aspire to is "A Fun Night Out". The cinematic equivalent to a Big Mac: ridiculously bad for you, and part of you wishes you hadn't, but you still enjoyed the hell out of it anyway.

The cast work well together, and have a pretty good team dynamic. Liam Neeson brings the right combo of gruffness and cool to Hannibal (though a little more humourless than George Peppard), and Bradley Cooper is, well, Bradley Cooper, wise-cracking and entertaining as con-man Face. Though many have spoken ill of Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson as B.A., I thought he was capable enough in a role that required little more of him than snarling watered-down catch-phrases. Of the foursome, the easy stand-out is Sharlto Copley's jittery, crazy-eyed Murdock, who manages to steal the scene whenever the camera lingers on him for more than three seconds. If District 9 marked him as a bright new talent, hopefully this film should make him a star.

Jessica Biel as conflicted agent (and Face's ex) Charisa Sosa, and Patrick Wilson as smug CIA man Lynch, offer some fine support, but really, this film's all about the action. And the action. And the action. Which is served up with a trowel. Most of it's wonderfully-overblown, but in that great "Aw, that was cool" way that was prevalent in the Eighties (though the level of exaggeration which the climax reaches does start to stretch even the most resilient switch-off action fan).

All in all, my best advice is sit back, switch off, and enjoy the ride. It may not be the A-Team you remember, but it's a hell of a lot of brainless fun nonetheless. And we really haven't had that for a while.

Cloverfield (2008)

Wonderfully executed... but you better be into that sort of thing

[8/10 · 12 February 2008]

Following one of the best anti-marketing campaigns in recent history, one could be forgiven for thinking "Cloverfield" has no chance of living up to its own hype. In many ways, it doesn't... but what it does is give us one of those truly great little B-grade gems that you can appreciate time and again.

Much discussion has been made of the film's Blair Witch-inspired format. I work at a cinema, and have had many complaints, but the first thing I always do is let people know what they're getting. Most go in knowing it's going to be jerky, helter-skelter hand-held, and if they come out and complain about that... I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy. You really should've listened to me to start with.

Anyway, this is a great film (without actually being 'great'). The threadbare story starts with a group of twentysomethings at a farewell party for main character Rob, and very quickly moves into the monster attack we've all been waiting for, captured by Rob's dopey camera- carrying best-friend, Hud. As they move through Manhattan, first trying to leave, and then going back for one of their number, they find themselves caught in the front-lines of the attack, and the military's strike-back.

The handling of the visual effects sequences in the medium is awesome, and the crew has worked hard to establish the camera not just as a framing device, but also as a storytelling tool (at many points in the film, the camera flips over to VTR or playback mode, showing us the existing footage already there; some of the onboard tools come in handy as well). Hud as a character does become a little annoying at times- seriously, the guy doesn't shut up- but the playing out of the action, and working it in with the filming, makes for very visually cool cinema.

I have also heard many complaints about the film's construction (one review I read here asked questions about how the camera or the tape/SD card can run for 8 hrs or so without change-over; why, the answer is simple: he DOES switch the camera off a LOT during the film, often for great big long chunks of time, and the film's on-screen action lasts for just on 80 mins- and there are definitely 80 min tapes out there, the Sony BCT64HDL to name but one eg.)- to those, I ask: whatsamatter, never heard of a niche film? Experimental cinema? Something DIFFERENT, you remember that concept? Sure, the general idea is old as the hills, but the execution is one of the freshest things I've seen in a long time. Sure, it's no classic, and the script and acting left much to be desired, but check it out, if only out of curiosity (get it on DVD if you can't stomach the format on the big screen), and I promise that, at the least, it's gonna be different to all the paint-by-numbers every-shot-perfect blockbusters you'll come across.

Ghost Rider (2007)

Mark Steven Johnson, a new genre awaits...

[2/10 · 7 March 2007]

Comedy!! Ditch all this superhero adaptation stuff, and give us a Todd Phillips-style no-brainer giggle-fest! Seriously, this movie is often hilarious, in ways that make you unsure if he considered the darkness and tone of the source material. Actually, no, allow me to restate that point: it seems like he has read the source material, and only the first, oh, ten or so years of the title. I've read a lot of GR, and one thing that jumped out at me was that this film was almost exactly like an old seventies issue, crappy dialogue, over-melodramatics and all. Case in point: in the book, when Johnny becomes the Rider for the second time, he speaks in thought: "OH NO... I CAN FEEL IT TAKING OVER... CANNOT STOP... NOW, I AM THE RIDER AGAIN!!". People who've seen this film will understand what I mean. It appears as though there's been no attempt to seriously adapt the book; it's more of a straight-up transition, and a terrible one at that. The fact that Nicolas Cage wrote portions of the script makes a LOT of sense, as the man's never tried harder at playing the "tortured hero" role.

Basically, this had potential to be something awesome: one-part Blade, mixed with a little bit of Constantine, would've rocked. What we get is one-part Van Helsing, one-part LXG, and a whole lot of stupidity. The Rider is fun to watch in action, and is hands-down probably one of the coolest-looking characters to come out of the Marvel stable, yet the brief scenes when he does hold screen are handled too flashily and quickly. Wes Bentley is terrible (for a menacing, powerful demon, he's neither very menacing nor very powerful), and one can almost see Eva Mendes trying to get through her scenes, and to her paycheck, as fast as possible. And Sam Elliot... he's easily the best actor in the film (close second is Peter Fonda, who wisely chose the role with the least screen time), and it doesn't say much for the rest of the cast that he gets to waste his talent delivering such gems as "Any man who sells his soul for love has the power to change the world". Even Donal Logue, usually a guilty pleasure to watch in crap films, is risible.

So, on the whole: great potential, hopeless execution. And the fact that audiences have jumped on it like a dog on a bone will almost certainly ensure that we'll have to endure a sequel.

It's almost enough to make you yearn for another Daredevil. Almost.

Borat (2006)

Very Niice!!

[10/10 · 27 November 2006]

Wow.

Subversive, crude, offensive, shocking, racist, sexist, misogynistic, crass, classless and tasteless. This is also, by far, the best comedy of 2006 (hell, the last five years). Sasha Baron Cohen completely inhabits the character of Borat with such aplomb, you almost buy him completely. Everything is in-your-face and uncompromising, resulting in a barrage of some of the most unbelievably brilliant humor ever conceived.

I work in a cinema, and every time I check this film out on shift, I walk into (often sold-out) rooms of people just splitting themselves with laughter. Many of the scenes are played out very well (although the question of pre-planned contrivance comes up many times), and the dialogue will go down in the annuls of quoted-at-every-turn history. The best thing about this film, however, is that it's a big dumb comedy with an underlying core of razor-sharp observation, regarding many, many problems with our world today.

BE WARNED: Don't even think about seeing this film, if you can't laugh at yourself or taboos. I mean that. Anyone who takes things on-screen seriously, will find it very hard to sit through. Many have been offended deeply, and that's understandable. It can be very offensive to sensitive souls. But then, what the hell are they doing seeing this film anyway?