a34trgv1 Reviews

Cleopatra in Space (2019–2021)

The Pathetic Princess of Egypt! 😡

[1/10 · 24 April 2024]

A few years ago, Cleopatra in Space came on my radar for it's very bizarre concept. One of the most well known rulers of ancient Egypt is somehow a space warrior in the distant future? This had me more confused than intrigued and I wasn't sure if I wanted to subscribe to Hulu just to watch it. I eventually caved and subscribed to Hulu after canceling my Apple TV+ account and gave it a watch to see if I missed out on an overlooked gem. Oh brother was I HORRIBLY wrong! This is yet another misfire from DreamWorks' television division that throws in over 20 different ideas and not a single one sticks! From the abhorrent writing to the terrible voice direction, this show should've stayed in imprisoned in it's forbidden tomb!

Developed by Doug Langdale and Fitzy Fitzmaurice, this series was based on the graphic novel of the same name written by Mike Maihack. The basic throughline of the show is Cleopatra fights evil robots in space while trying to find her way back to ancient Egypt. That sentence alone is already litered with ideas that do NOT mesh together! Cleopatra? As in, the well renowned queen of Egypt during the Ptolemic Dynasty? She's fighting evil robots? And the robots are evil because...? And this takes place in the distant future? And in space? None of this makes any sense! And I know I'm gonna get that one comment that brings up Samurai Jack as having a nonsensical premise but a great execution, and my response is 2 fold. 1. Samurai Jack isn't based on a real person and 2. Samurai Jack showed the audience how Jack was sent to the future, why almost everyone is out to get him, and why he must return to the past. This is all because Samurai Jack has the one thing Cleopatra in Space only dreams of having: GOOD FREAKING WRITING! The first episode speeds by the origin to just throw her into the distant future, and while she's there, she's stuck in a generic high school with all the tired tropes and cliches! The world building consists of exposition dump upon exposition dump, all of prerecorded history conveniently wiped out, and Cleopatra having powers because Heaven forbid the story takes the time to hint at it before completely showing it off in the 3rd episode! It's all one bad joke, which is the lesser of 2 evils because the humor is Cringe with a capital "C!" It is nothing but a bombardment of toilet humor, lousy puns, explaining the jokes, and dull visual gags. There's even a moment where they put a joke in the middle of an intense action scene, thus killing any tension. Now I know how MCU detractors feel! This show was fighting a losing battle by not having a clear idea of what it should be about, and it only got worse in execution.

The characters are all varying degrees of annoying, and as such I hate every single one of them! Cleopatra, as opposed to being a cunning, seductive, manipulative ruler, is demoted to being an irresponsible, stupid girl who makes her problems worse! Her homesickness comes of as her whining like a 2 year old, her overconfidence makes her really stupid, and her nosey nature makes really annoying. Speaking of annoying, by Horus' blinding eyes is Akila a FREAKING CHATTERBOX! She goes on and on about unrelated nonsense, she doesn't have the spine to say no, and she never listens to reason! Did I mention that she never SHUTS THE FLOP UP??!!! Brian is the failed comic relief cyborg, Khensu is an uptight teacher, and Zaid is the generic love interest who, surprise surprise, is the freaking spy sent to capture Cleopatra. Then there's Callie, the show's designated spoiled brat! She has no legitimate reason to be in this show! None! She a rude, bossy, annoying, pampered brat that puts others down to make up for her own insecurities! This show already has so many badly written characters that her inclusion is utterly pointless!

The voice acting is very bad, which is unfortunate as they're all really talented in their own right. Lilimar Hernandez sounded flat and not nearly as believable as Cleopatra. Katie Crown sounds very manic and eccentric with a bubbly personality...as Izzy from Total Drama Island. Her performance as Akila sounds too similar to a much better character in a much better show. Jorge Diaz didn't sound as tech savy or enthusiastic as Brian as I would've liked. Sendhil Ramamurthy only plays Khensu as this stern cat and doesn't sound as enthusiastic when he's supposed to show his fun side. All the veteran actors were a treat to hear from Dee Bradley Baker, Kari Walhgren, and John DiMaggio. I was even pleasantly surprised to hear Steven Universe himself, Zach Callison, playa group of flies called Zuzz with a surfer voice. That said, I don't think Dee Bradley Baker's nasaly kid voice fit with Dennis, who's this large creature you'd think would be more baritone. This all comes down to really bad voice direction, something that's not often looked at but you know it when you hear it.

Visually, this show has some decent animation during the action scenes, but otherwise looks very stiff. DreamWorks and Titmouse collab once again to bring the animation to life and the result is a mixed bag. On one hand, the characters have really good designs with Cleopatra given a modern teenager look with an ancient Egyptian esthetic, the aliens having distinct desgins, and the attire looking really futuristic. I also think during the action scenes, the characters have very fluid movements and dynamic poses. All that said, the during the non-action scenes, the characters have very restricted movements and limited facial expressions. The backgrounds are well crafted and have a futuristic look to them while having some Egyptian esthetics. The problem is, though, often times the characters stick out of the backgrounds like a sore them and that takes me out of the illusion very quickly. The animation could've been the one saving grace of this show, but bad animation and art direction is holding it back.

This show is another weak link in the chain of DreamWorks Animation output! Cleopatra in Space is an atrocious cartoon that doesn't have a clue of what it wants to be! What we're left with is a show with abysmal writing, annoying characters, stale voice acting, cringy humor, and passable at best animation! This is such a jumbled mess of a cartoon that more than deserves the worst fate to bestow upon it: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Cleopatra in Space! Spare yourself the headache and just watch Samurai Jack! It's every this show wishes it was, and so much more -.-

Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale (2017)

An Atrocious Adventure! 😡

[1/10 · 18 April 2024]

Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale only came up on my radar when Netflex recommended it based on my love for fantasy. I gave the first episode a watch and I didn't like it. That mild dislike turned in to utter hatred by the next episode, and before I was halfway through this animated abomination, I was ready to call it. Then I made the stupid decision to watch all 8 episodes to see if it can somehow redeem itself. Spoilers: IT DOESN'T! From the abysmal writing to the awful art dirction, this slog of a fantasy made me long for revisting Middle Earth in The Lord Of The Rings.

Developed by Villads Spangsberg, Sten Platz, Ewa Delgado, and Nicole Dubuc, Lego Elves follows the adventure of 2 girls accompanied by 4 elves with magic powers to thwart the plans of the fiendish Goblin King. That sounds like a really good premise, and one I would love to see play out in a cartoon. Too bad that's just tacky sprinkles on a disaster of a cake! What actually happens in this show is everyone drags the plot along with constant exposition dumps, irritating detours, and shallow attempts at world building. With each episode being 20ish minutes, this 8 part saga feels like 8 years of my life being drained away. The pacing is so sluggish with the characters either standing around dumping exposition or going on detours that take away from the main story. Not that the main story is any better as it's the just the heroes trying to save the world from a petty loser who wants to take over the world to make up for his own insecurities. What also brings this show's story down is the humor, from lousy gross out, weak puns, and eye roll worthy slapstick. The worst part about the writing of the show is the unironic use of dated slang such as "on fleek" and "we outie!" This is the textbook definition of cringe because it doesn't feel natural and makes the showrunners look like socially awkward dorks trying (and miserably failing) to be trendy! There's two things this show's writing is clueless about: how to be well written and how to be timeless!

The characters in this show only have 2 settings to their dial: really annoying and really stupid! Starting with the leading human girl, Emma is the typical leader of the group who acts as the voice of reason yet can muster up a good reason why I should care about her. She just goes through the motions of every plot point and never becomes anything more than a generic leader. Her sister, Sophie, is a loud, annoying brat that never listens and never thinks before she acts. The elves in this show about elves are some of the most annoying and stupidest depictions of these mythical creatures I've ever seen. Azari is the obnoxious tomboy, Farran is the dorky fanboy, Aira is the soft spoken inventor who's voice gets on my nerves, and Nadia is the untrusting and stupid one. Later in the show they encounter Rosalyn, who is such a bossy and short tempered recluse. Don't expect to get any characterizations out of the other mythical creatures in this show as they're either just regular animals or a band of bumbling idiots like the goblins.

The worst character in the show, by far, is the villain, Cronan. To borrow one of The Blockbuster Buster's iconic lines, Cronan IS A MORON! This guy enlists the help of the moronic goblins to do his dirty work and is surprised that they bumble it up?! Gee, who's fault is that Einstein?! He also does a terrible job hiding his true colors (either that or everyone's just THAT freaking stupid), and he he does drop the charade, he acts like some dweeby little kid on top of the playscape! He just barks orders, beats the goblins senseless when they fail, and never once gets off his lazy butt and do his own evil deeds! And why is he doing all this?! So that he can bring his mother back. Admirable, until we find out later in the show that he lied to his ex-girlfriend Rosalyn so that she couldn't talk him out of it! Well there goes the little speck of sympathy I might've had for this loser! If you don't care about your personal trauma enough to tell your girlfriend, why should I care about you trying to undo it?! Cronan only just missed my Top 10 Worst Cartoon Villains list on Tumblr, otherwise he'd be in the top 3 hands down!

The voice acting just isn't very good here, which is a shame because I've heard this actors soumd really good in other places. Ashleigh Ball sounded unenthusiastic as Emma, a farcry from her talents in MLP:FIM where she voice Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash. She also gave Aira a high pitched voice that sounded more like a mimicking version of Fluttershy. Rebecca Husain sounded too nasally and mature as Sophie, sounding more like a teenager or young adult than a preteen. Erin Matthews sounded a little flat as Azari; would've asked for a little more pep. She wasn't much better as Nadia, making her sound really flat. Kyle Rideout sounded neither funny or interesting as Farran. Nicole Olvier puts on a decent British accent for Rosalyn, though not enough to convince me she is British. Riley Murdock never sounded menacing or charismatic as Cronan, as he sounding more like a pampered theater actor than an actual villain. This is main the fault of the voice direction making them all play the roles straight and not allowing for much personality in the performances.

Visually, this show looks very distinct from Lego's usual output...for all the WRONG reasons! The series was brought to life by Studio Mir and Production Reve and the result is some of the worst animation and art direction I've seen on Netflix! The characters have an anime-esque appearance with big, bright eyes, colorful hair, and dazzling attire. This is good conceptually, but in practice, it begs the question why this is associated with Lego to begin with. The characters are too well designed for a show that's supposed to be based on a Lego toy line. The actual character animation itself is really janky with characters having stiff movements and being stationary during chase scenes. The action also suffers from bad cinematography as the camera is always jerking around, making it rather disorienting (in a bad way). The worst part about the visuals are the backgrounds. At first glance, the look really well crafted with an excellent color palette, great lighting, and superb attention to detail. You'd be forgiven for mistaking a shot from the show as a painting in the museum. There's just one teeny, tiny problem with that: the backgrounds are littered with FREAKING LEGO PIECES! I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw a Lego brick painted the same color as a rock in one scene! It'd be one think if it was a slip up in the background department, but every single shot in this show has Lego pieces badly disguised as flowers, brances, rocks, and tree trunks! Nevermind killing the illusion, this straight up MASSACRES the illusion! Either have the show entirely made out of Legos or don't put Legos in the show at all! Doing both leads to this terrible mishmash that can't decide what it wants to be: a fantasy cartoon or a Lego commercial!

This cartoon should be thrown in the fires of Mount Doom! Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale is a fundamentally atrocious cartoon! The writing is abysmal, the characters are annoying, the voice acting is stale, the jokes are cringe, and the animation is awful! No amount of context or excuses will ever make this kind of disaster okay! It more than deserves the worst fate to bestow on a show this terrible: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale! Don't even watch the trailer! In fact buy the toy sets this show is based on and come up with your own adventures with the characters! You'll be much better rewarded that way than you would watching this animated abomination! -.-

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir (2015– )

The Dimwitted Duo! 😡

[1/10 · 3 April 2024]

Miraculous Ladybug took the world by storm when it premiered back in 2015. Since it's inception, there has been no shortage of fanart of the leading heros, a large crowd of cosplayers, and a great abundance of merchandise. To say this show is popular would be a gross understatement. Unfortunately, watching the show itself angered me as well as made me envious of diehard fans. From the atrocious writing to the petty villains, this show not only fails to live up to its name, it doesn't even succeed at being a well made show in general.

Created by Thomas Astruc and developed by Jeremy Zag, Miraculous Ladybug follows the escapades of two superheroes in Paris as they fight villains that get led by a guy who wants to bring the heroes down. You'd think this would make for a good show with intense action, loveable characters, and very rich world building. Unfortunately, you're thinking of The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog. This show's premise falls apart immediately when you add in the details. This is actually about a stupid girl named Marinette who has a crush on a dream boy named Adrian. She also dawns her superhero identity Ladybug to fight alongside Cat Noir, who is actually Adrian. Together they fight petty villains that are corrupted by Akuma butterflies, sent by the show's main baddie, Hawk Moth. If you're starting to think "wait a minute" let me stop you right there because that whole premise is nothing BUT wait a minute! This is such a convoluted and ridiculous setup because in order for it to function, the characters have to be back flipping stupid! Marinette can't know Cat Noir is Adrian because she's not smart enough to notice they have the same hairstyle and eye color. Adrian can't kniw Hawk Moth is actually his father (spoiler, but even a 4 year old could figure that out) because he's too delusional to think that his busy single Dad is actually a villain. And Hawk Moth can't just fight Ladybug and Cat Noir himself because he's too lazy and egotistical to leave his lair. See the problem?! Because the premise is so contrived, this makes each episode beyond formulaic. Marinette fumbles to get Adrian to notice her, some loser gets corrupted by an Akuma, Ladybug and Cat Nori fight said loser, Ladybug uncorrupts them, and the day is saved. Rinse, lather, freaking repeat! No one grows or changes from these experiences and by the end of the episode we're back to square one because the status quo is a cruel, unfair, and unfunny God! That's another thing, this show is painfully unfunny! Every joke falls flat, the gags are cringe, and the subversions can be seen from a lightyear away. I get this was trying to follow in the footsteps of clasdic anime, a la Sailor Moon, but with writing like this, it instead trips over its teo left feet.

The characters have clearly been taking stupid lessons from Fish Hooks. None of them are remotely smart or have any common sense, and the more they're on screen, the more aggravating the experience is. Starting with our leading nitwit, Marinette is, for the umpteenth mother and father flipping time, a STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE GIRL THAT MAKES THINGS WORSE!!! Once again I must ask why so many creators insist on making female characters like this as it does nothing but make a good case for how NOT to act! In the case of Marinette, she's madly in love with Adrian to the point where she steals his phone to delete an embarrassing message, struggles to hand him a birthday gift, and has an entire spreadsheet of his day-to-day activities! That's not cute or funny: it's FREAKING CREEPY! Adrian isn't much better as he's just a one-dimensional dream boy who's oblivious to Marinette's advances. When they're Ladybug and Cat Noir, Marinette is more confident and Cat Noir frequently hits on her. This is barely and improvement as the characters frequently shank their personal responsibilities for their own personal gain. None of the supporting characters are much better as Alya acts more like Marinette's conscience, Nino is Adrian's anti-authoritarian best friend, Tikki is Marinette's little sprite with an annoying voice that forms into her costume, and likewise Plagg for Adrian. Then there's Chloe, the show's designated spoiled brat. Like every pampered brat before her, she's a mean, nasty, bossy, selfish, and egotistical tramp hits on Adrian frequently. She's also the mayor's daughter, which is a bad reflection on not just him as a politician, but also as a father.

The worst part about this show, though, are the villains. Every villain is just a petty, stupid, egotistical moron with weak gimmicks, lousy costumes, and no threatening bones in their bodies. The Bubbler uses bubbles as a power, Stormy Weather creates storms and ice (and nothing else, with makes her name rather misleading), Mr. Pigeon uses pigeons, and Copycat is just Cat Noir, but evil. All these villain are lead by the show's main villain, Hawk Moth, who just lazily stays in his lair expecting these loser villains to do his dirty work rather that try and take on Ladybug and Cat Noir himself.

The voice acting is honestly very irritating, and yes I'm talking about the French dub because in English the characters have bad lip syncing, with frustrates me to no end. Anouck Hautbois sounded like she was always squealing and made Marinette sound very off putting. Benjamin Bollen don't sound as enthusiastic as Adrian and it isn't much better as Cat Noir. Marie Nonnenmacher sounded very grating and unnatural as Tikki, with Thierry Kazazian sounding too gravely and gruff as Plagg. Antoine Tome didn't sound as menacing as Hawk Moth as I would've liked, as he sounded more like tough guy speaking French. Fanny Bloc sounded rather dull as Alya, and her chemistry with Marinette never felt believable. Marie Chevalot sounded very grating and more uptight as Chloe. They're all trying their best, I know, but they can't salvage such hopeless material.

Visually, this show looks absolutely terrible, which is saying alot considering 14 different companies collabed to bring this to life. No, that's not an exaggeration. Zagtoon, Method, Toei, S. A. S., SMAG Entertainment, SK Broadband, De Agostini Editore, Gloob, Gravity, DQ Entertainment, Assemblage Entertainment, Symbiosis Entertainment, Artage Studio, and In Efecto Atlantis all contributed to making this show. The characters have distinct desgins that are inspired by classic anime, such as the characters having their hair be a specific color, big expressive eyes, and colorful costumes. Unfortunately, in actual animation the show looks wretched. The character animation is so stiff and restricted, forbidding any attempts to emulate the cartoony expressions of classic anime. This is also true for the action scenes as the characters have no weight yo them and the cinematography is very shakey. The worst part about the visuals is how they depict Paris. Yeah, the building are well designed and have a nice color palette, but this city is almost completely empty. There's like over 30 characters walking about, which is beyond far from how Paris actually is. Even on a slow Tuesday, the Eiffel Tower gets like 25,000 visitors. You expect me to believe Paris is this devoid of citizens and tourists? Bologna! Even with good designs, the show still has stiff animation.

This show is unfit to be called "miraculous!" Miraculous Ladybug is a travesty of a cartoon that fails at every aspect! The writing is atrocious, the characters are morons, the voice acting is irritating, the animation is stiff, and Paris looks like a ghost town! Worst of all, the villains absolutely blow chunks! Despite it's popularity and cult following, this stands as one of the worst superhero shows I've ever seen! It without a doubt deserves the worst fate to bestow on a show this bad: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Miraculous Ladybug! Save yourselves the headache and watch the anime that inspired it: Salor Moon. You'll have a much better time with that than you would with this mess -.-

Harriet the Spy (2021– )

A Nosey Nuisance -.-

[2/10 · 10 February 2024]

Apple TV+'s cartoons haven't won me over with constant misfire after misfire thanks to shows like Frog & Toad and El Deafo. With Harriet The Spy, I was hoping to finally catch a break and enjoy a cartoon about a little kid doing some espionage in New York. Unfortunately, not only was that not the show I was getting, but the show I got wasn't even a well made one to begin with. From the atrocious writing to the stiff visuals, this show makes another bad case to sign up for this relatively new streaming service.

Based on the children's book by Louise Fitzhugh and developed by Will McRobb, the show follows the escapades of an 11 year old girl who snoops in on people's business and writes them down in her notebook in her quest to be a famous writer one day. If you're thinking "that sounds really creepy," CONGRATULATIONS! You just pointed out exactly what's wrong with this show! The very set up of the show is all wrong because it does a very bad job justifying being a nosey Nancy! Each episode has Harriet snooping on random people in New York and jots down their everyday activities. And when she's not snooping, she's narrating her experience with truck loads of exposition dumps. This show has clearly never heard of "show, don't tell" as it explains every action, reaction, gag, and foreshadow like it thinks the target audience is infantile. Worst still is it's painfully unfunny with lousy puns, dull visual gags, and eye roll worthy subversions. Wanting to be a famous writer is admirable, but if it's at the expense of people's privacy, you already fail as a writer!

Here's a tip from an amateur writer: when writing your main protagonist, don't give them the same traits as a villain if you want to get the audience to relate and root for them. That's exactly how you get characters like Harriet M. Welsch! I've never wanted to see a child get a good sound spanking more than this stupid, nosey, little girl! She's not only selfish, stubborn, and incompetent, but she's also a major creep! I mean, what else do you call someone who watches a woman get out of bed fron inside their bedroom? Or a guy making bird cages from his sky light? Or even try to take a picture of a girl's closet from the window?! The fact that she's an 11 year old kid doesn't negate the fact that she doing exactly what stalkers and kidnappers do all the time! And no, no one else in the show is much better. Janie and Sport (don't ask -.-) are parrots for Harriet to talk to, her parents clearly enable and defend her stalker tendencies, as does her nanny, Ole Golly, and the school teachers are all once again a bunch of sad, pathetic curmudgeons who hate their jobs. I hate this trope so, SO MUCH! Oh, and to put a cherry on top of this abominable sundae, Marion is the typical spoiled brat who the entire student body worships the ground she walks on when in reality they wouldn't even bother spitting in her direction because her attitude STINKS!

The best I can say about the show is that it has a solid voice cast. Jonah Hill's sister, Beanie Feldstein, try as she might, never really sold me that she was an 11 year old girl. A high schooler, mayber, but everytime Harriet opened her mouth, she never sounded like a child. Jane Lynch did a really good job playing the snarky yet smart and easy going Ole Golly. Kimberly Brooks did a good job making Janie sound like a sassy preteen. Charlie Schlatter made for a very convincing soft spoken awakward teen. The only problem with that, though, is Sport is supposed to be 11, not 16. Lacey Chabert did good work putting on a snooty, pretentious girl voice for Marion. Grey DeLisle was a real treat to hear as Harriet's Mom, as was Crispin Freeman as Harriet's Dad. This really is a mixed bag of a cast where some vocal performances were good and others just weren't selling it.

Visually, this is some stiff and uninteresting animation. Apple collaberated with Titmouse, The Jim Henson Company, Postworks New York, and Wellsville Pictures to bring the visuals to life and the results are disappointing to say the least. The characters have appealing designs with round heads, colorful hair, and appropriate attire. The backgrounds are also well crafted making New York look like a children's book illustration of what it looked like back in the 60s. The animation direction itself is where it tanks as they characters movements are very stiff and restricted. The visuals are also directed to be as basic as possible so that the narration is given greater importance. Then there's the pointless daydream sequences Harriet has which are out of place and visually dull. While the designs and backgrounds are well done, I can't say the same about the animation.

This show isn't even worth the notebook it was scribbled on! Harriet The Spy is another horrible show from Apple TV+ with atrocious writing, unlikable characters, stiff animation, and a mediocre performance from the leading voice actress. Sure it's got some solid voice work from the veteran voice actors, but this is still a huge waste of time. If you want a good show about a kid being a spy, watch Spy Kids. If you want a good show about a girl exploring her surroundings and is NOT a creep, watch Hilda. I haven't read the book this show is based on, but if you had and were left cold by the show, you have my sympathy. This show turned me off from Harriet The Spy as an IP. Thanks alot -.-

Fish Hooks (2010–2014)

Brainless Bottom Feeders -.-

[3/10 · 3 February 2024]

In another attempt to find a hidden gem in Disney Television Animation's filmography, I decided to give Fish Hooks a watch on Disney+. 10 episodes later, and I'm left with less braincells than I had before watching it. From the awful writing to the stupid characters, this show makes one long for the hijinks of SpongeBob and Patrick.

Created by Noah Z. Jones, Fish Hooks follows the escapades of 3 fish in high school set in a pet shop where the tanks are linked together and have their own settings. Does that sound jumbled together? That's because IT IS! The first problem with the show is it doesn't do a good job at world building. There's no organic connectivity and it feels like they different settings were chosen at random depending on the episode. One episode takes place in a Hollywood-esque setting but full of hamsters. Another has the characters going through a high tech security system to get tobthe year book club at school. There's no rhyme or reason for these settings and it's just random for the sake of comedy. Which wouldn't be so bad, if the humor wasn't obvious subversions, weak slapstick, and lousy puns. You know what's worse, though? The writing of these episodes is abysmal! This show has abhorrent pacing with characters mostly standing around talking about nothing that matters, obvious uses of tired tropes and some cringy musical numbers. This really shows just what happens when you just throw random settings into the script for the sake of unfunny comedy and unengaging stories.

The characters are so stupid, they make Patrick Star look like Albert Einstein! They've never heard of common sense, they never even bother thinking before they act, and they never learn anything of value. I'm actually convinced that these characters don't have brains, or if they do, they're doing a great job NOT using them! Starting with the main trio, Milo, Bea, and Oscar are each one third of a whole idiot! Milo is the loudest, most obnoxious and stupidest of the 3, Bea is an annoying aspiring actress, and Oscar is the anxious dweeb who has a crush on Bea but the writers forbid him from exiting the friendzone because Heaven forbid he acts like a normal person (albeit fish person) and accept that they're better off as friends. Don't expect anyone else to leave a lasting impression as they're all one dimensional archetypes of tired tropes. Shellsea is the text book definitely of a Valley Girl, voice and all. Clamantha is the ugly girl who has a crush on Oscar (much to his disgust), Jocktopus is a bully, Mr. Baldwin is a teacher who hates his job (and is a pregnant seahorse, but this show isn't smart enough to do anything other than make a lame joke about it), and Coach Salmons is just Richard Simmons as a fish and the show just beats this lame joke into the ground over and over again.

I was pleasantly surprised that the voice acting was pretty good (for the most part). That's So Raven star, Kyle Massey, sounded like he was having a blast voicing Milo, making him sound very boisterous and lively. Chelsea Kane did a really good job making Bea sound energetic and lively. Dana Snyder nails the curmudgeon attitude of Mr. Baldwin. Gravity Falls creator, Alex Hirsh, did a solid job making Clamantha sound cheerful and perky even with her ugly appearance. Kari Walhgren did the best she could making Shellsea sound exactly like they typically Valley Girl, though she does better voice work as Sanke during the credits. John DiMaggio was a real treat hearing him ham it up as Jocktopus. Richard Simmons did a decent job voicing himself as a fish. The only truly bad performance in the show is Justin Roiland as Oscar. As controversial as this take may sound, I never once thought Justin Roiland was a good voice actor as he lacks the range, authenticity and charisma to make his roles stand out from one another. Oscar sounds exactly like Morty from Rick and Morty, who intern sounds exactly like Lemongrab from Adventure Time; all of which are just Roiland putting on a whiney, dweebish version of his normal voice. Despite how stupid these characters are, at least the actors are doing decent work on them; except Justin Roiland, of course.

Visually, this is a very unique and lively cartoon from the Mouse House's television division. The characters have very distinct and appealing designs with round heads, wide mouths and a vibrant color palette. The animation also utilizes great squash and stretched to make the characters feel more alive. I also like how the show mixs 2D with photo collages, giving the pet shop and characters like Clamantha a very distinct but pleasing look. The backgrounds are also verg well detailed with the pet shop looking very expansive and the schools looking like a real high school. Out of all of Disney's TV shows, this one stands out among the rest in the visual department.

These are some stupid and annoying fish; you sure this pet shop isn't actually a toxic waste dump? Fish Hooks is among Disney's stupidest cartoons with terrible writing, unfunny humor, stupid characters, and an very terrible performance by Justin Roiland. Sure the animation and the rest of the actors are pretty good, but they're talents feel wasted on such a badly made show. If you're looking for nautical nonsense that's actually funny and had smart characters, just watch SpongeBob. You'll actually have a much better time watching that than this stupid show -.-

Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness (2011–2016)

Legendary AWFULNESS! 😡

[1/10 · 22 January 2024]

When I watched the show back in 2011, I was initially disappointed by it because it wasn't like the movie. As I grew and matured, I found that I have a greater appreciation for Kung Fu Panda...as a film series. Rewatching this show all these years later, I can confidently say that this show was let off WAY too easy! In addition to being a terribly made cartoon on its own, it's also the quintessential example of how NOT to make a spin-off! From the downgraded animation to the abysmal handling of the characters, this is the kind of spin-off that would be torn to shredds for how much it fails!

Developed by Peter Hastings, Legends of Awesomeness shows the adventures of Po and the Furious 5 as they protect the Valley of Peace from dangers while Po learns more about kung fu. I liked the idea of a Kung Fu Panda show as it not only opens the door for more character interactions with the Furious 5, but it also allows for greater world buliding and awesome action scenes. Unfortunately, that's not at all what the showrunners had in mind! No, instead they decided to take the characters from the first film and turn them into one note caricatures of themselves in a poorly made action show! The show's writing is so frustrating with blatant contrivances dragging out the conflict. Instead of using common sense, the characters just forget to use their brains entirely to reach that 22 minute runtime. Po gets sticky dumplings stuck in the gears and rather than get some water, he instead tries to use brute strength and it makes it worse. When Tigress and Po are chained together, not once does Tigress, who is a ferocious kung fu master, try to break the chains with a chomp right down the middle. And none of the 5 question why Po is waving his hand in their faces because if they did the conflict would be moot. In addition to blatant contrivances, the show makes the Valley of Peace feel empty and hollow. There aren't a lot of innocent bystanders in the backgrounds thus making the danger feel nonexistent. Sneaking of nonexistent, the humor in this show sucks with weak slapstick, lousy puns, and characters acting incompetent. It should've been a golden opportunity to write a show based on the biggest surprise successes of the late 2000s. Yet the showrunners blew the opportunity by failing at basic storytelling.

If this was an original show, these characters would be annoying and dull. But as characters that were well rounded, funny, and wonderfully developed in the movie, these characters are walking atrocities and an empty husk of their former selves! Starting with the Furious 5, Tigress has been demoted to being the grumpy girl who takes everything too seriously. Monkey is a slow and unfunny comic relief, likewise Mantis; and Crane and Viper are completely devoid of any personality. Master Shifu is now dull boss that lacks authority and respect, and the villains are just generic baddies for the characters to fight. This show also has the audacity to rip-off a villain from an already terrible show: Totai is just The Gauntlet from Teamo Supremo but as a wild pig.

The worst characterization of the show, though, is the Dragon Warrior himself, Po! I don't normally say this because I'm not some hack on Animation Twitter, but they completely BUTCHERED this character! In the movies, Po is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help people and thinks kung fu is awesome and is more than willing to learn something new about it. He also has the upmost respect for Shifu and the Furious 5, and even though they didn't care for him at first, he still treated them with respect and deceny because he was raised well by his father, Mr. Ping. Po in Legends Of Awesomeness is just Skunk from Skunk Fu! He's a lazy, irresponsible, annoying, and stupid bafoon who lies, cheats and decieves his way to get what he wants! Instead of being willing to put in the work and taking the time to learn kung fu the right way, Po chooses to cheat and skimp on his responsibilities. He also never, ever, ever, ever, EVER shuts the flop up! This is without the worst character downgrade I've ever seen: BAR FREAKING NONE!

The voice acting, like most of DreamWorks Animation shows, is terrible because it's comprised of actors putting on bad impressions of the original actors and bad voice direction. Mick Wingert tries to do his best Jack Black impression, but I never buy it for a second because he always sounds an octave off and it kills the illusion. Kari Walhgren doesn't sound as serious or as fierce as Angelina Jolie, try as she might. James Sie does make for a good caricature of Jackie Chan from Jackie Chan Adventures, but not so much as Monkey; again, it's an octave off and kills the illusion. Max Koch doesn't get the Seth Rogan impression right and gives off more of Jeff Garlin tone, which is NOT what Mantis is supposed to sound like. Fred Tatasciore sounds too baratone as Shifu, almost making it seem like the character had a sore throat. Amir Talai didn't sound anything like David Cross, as his voice wasn't the right octave or tone. Lucy Liu and James Hong are the only actors to reprise their roles as Viper and Mr. Ping respectively, but the bad voice direction forbids them from giving them memorable lines. Veteran actors Kevin Michael Richardson, John DiMaggio and Grey DeLisle are also giving some really bad voice direction for their characters but it is a pleasant treat hearing their voices. Honestly, I think Wallace Shawn is the most wasted actor in the cast because he's playing a character with the exact same personality and tone of voice he already played in Teamo Supremo. Even if it was a coincidence (because nobody remembers Teamo Supremo), it's still a huge waste of his talents.

Visually, this show looks absolutely terrible, especially when you look at it next to the movie. DreamWorks Animation and Nick, like The Penguins of Madagascar before it, did a very poor job producing the animation. The characters look very stiff with flat textures and restricted facial expressions. The character animation comes off as weightless with the characters looking like they're gliding above the ground when they run and jagged looking when they move around. The backgrounds are also very flat and hollow with the Jade Palace looking like a pale imitation of the movie version, the bamboo forest looking empty and the village lookng more like a ghost town. The worst aspect of the visuals are the action scenes, which are horribly executed with poor cinematography, no stakes and the impact of the attacks not registering. Before you come at me with the "well it's TV animation" card, Nickelodeon is the same company that brought us Danny Phantom, El Tigre, My Life As A Teenage Robot, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. All of these had good animation and good action scenes. There is NO excuse for not making the action scenes pop, especially in a martial arts show!

This was nothing short of painful to revisit! Legends of Awesomeness is already a terrible cartoon with annoying and moronic characters, abysmal writing, awful animation and bad voice acting. What makes this a colossal atrocity, though, is that it fails as a spin-off to Kung Fu Panda with butchered charactization, embarrassing action scenes and hollow impressions of the original actors! Its more than earns the worst fate to bestow on an abominable cartoon: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Legends of Awesomeness! Just stick with the movies and the movies alone! This show is NOT canon, contrary to what the showrunners might think! All this show is is an utter disgrace to the franchise! -.-

Zokie of Planet Ruby (2023– )

CringeTube!😡

[1/10 · 31 December 2023]

In a sudden move to try and bury this show, Nickelodeon dumps Zokie of Planet Ruby onto Amazon Prime Video with no fanfare on New Year's Eve. A dastardly business tactic, this makes passersby curious to look into the show to see if it's a hidden gem worth supporting. While I wish for nothing more than for that to be the case, Zokie is yet another abominable animated series from the network that once brought us hits like Hey Arnold, Angry Beavers and Avatar: The Last Airbender. From the atrocious writing to the abhorant voice acting, this cartoon makes YouTube Rewind 2018 look like Despacito!

Created by Brian Morante, Zokie follows the misadventures of a 10 year old girl named Ruby and her alien best friend as they make silly Internet videos in their local apartment complex. They're accompanied by a talk squirrel and Ruby's parents in their shenanigans. All the while, an egotistical puppy king tries and fails to capture Zokie. Right away we have our first problem with the writing: it's very premise feels jumbled together at the last minute. What purpose does Zokie being an alien serve for the cartoon? Why would it be so bad for the puppy king to capture him? And why would Ruby and Zokie, nevermind ANYONE, associate with a con artist squirrel? This jumbled mess of a premise was somehow enough to convince Nickelodeon executives to put it into production, yet not enough to give it a decent slot on their channel. It doesn't get much better in execution because this show is Cringe with a capital "C!" The dialogue is full of dated memes and Internet lingo, making this feel less like a timeless cartoon involving the Internet and more like a relic of a bygone era where the writers incorrectly assume that this is how people online talk. Worse still is the plots are so predictable, it's stupid. Just reading the titles for episodes like Pigeon Enemy No. 1, The Bolt Strikes Back and Lucky Charms tells you exactly how they're gonna play out. This makes the plots mind-numbingly slow and utterly pointless as they regurgitate lessons that have been taught before in cartoons and done better. The world building is also an absolute joke because they try to make the viewer believe that not a single person on Earth watches Ruby's silly videos online in order for Zokie to come into the picture. Maybe if this took place when she just started up her channel that could work, but after making dozens of videos for a decent amount of time, I call utter bolony! What really sinks this show is its humor, which is very groan worthy gross out coupled with lousy puns, weak slapstick and dull visual gags. The writing is nothing short of cringe, to the point where Fred's earliest videos look like screenwriting masterclasses in comparison.

I could not a single good character in this show, and that's not a very promising sign. Starting with our leading nuisance, Ruby is, get this, a stupid irresponsible girl who tries to fix her problems but ends up making them worst. If you're just now reading one of my reviews, this is my least favorite type of character because it opens the door for forced conflict and unnatural character interactions. She also never shuts up and is just so whiny it's pathetic. Oh boo hoo! Nobody watched your video 1 second after you uploaded it?! Cry me a freaking river! Zokie is a stupid, annoying alien who's personality begins and ends with his naivety to how life on Earth works. This is done to the point of flanderization here because he mispronounces common Earth words and never grows smarter as a character. Earl is a stingy con artist who only cares about himself, Dee is Ruby's emotional support blanket of a mother, Stan is the typical hasbeen Dad that's indecisive, and Tweekle is the show's designated spoiled brat that speaks in Internet lingo. Then there's King Pootywinkle, the main antagonist of the show. He is vain...and that's it. That's his character. No charisma, no backstory, no menace. He's just a vain puppy king that wants Zokie back because his pride forbids him from getting a life.

The voice acting is really bad here, not surprising considering the material they were given. Bahia Watson sounded very flat as Ruby, lacking the energy and enthusiasm to make her as eccentric and bubbly as she's supposed to be. Zach Reino never sounded right as Zokie as he just sounded so devoid of humor and wit. Cory Doran didn't really sound sly or sneaky as Earl, but rather petty and apathetic. Sabryn Rock and Joshua Graham didn't sound very enthusiastic as Ruby's parents as it sounded like they were just reading off their script. Ryan Beil didn't sound menacing or funny as King Pootywinkle, instead he just sounded like a middle aged man who didn't have his coffee and is now making it everyone's problem. Melissa Altro puts on this nasally influencer voice for Tweenkle and it just sounds so forced and unnatural. These actors aren't doing their talents justice with material and direction this poor.

Not even the animation looks right for what they wanted to accomplish. In another collaboration between Nick and Nelvana, the show looks rather off putting. The characters are designed with big heads with thin, stick figure bodies, as well as having white dots for pupils inside black iris. While having big heads is good for expressions, the actual animation is rather janky. There's a lack of snappiness to the flow for what they wanted to accomplish as the characters move on screen like they wanted to be both fluid like water and quick like a whip at the same time. This is especially the case when the characters are making their silly videos. The characters have really jagged movements and there's no real finess to the animation direction. The backgrounds look decent though, with the complex looking messy, lived in and expansive. You know there's a problem with the visuals when the only compliment one can give is in regards to the backgrounds.

Well that was a complete waste of resources! Zokie of Planet Ruby is a horrendous cartoon with cringe writing, annoying characters, bad voice acting, unfunny humor and mediocre animation. It was bad enough Nickelodeon tried to bury this show, but now I can't even say people are missing out. This show honestly should NOT have been picked up if they didn't want it and it's not even good! It more than deserves the worst fate to bestow on a bad piece of media: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Zokie of Planet Ruby! It's not an underrated gem, it's an accurate representation of Internet culture, it's not even a decently made show! It's just a waste of time and resources that could've been better spend on an actual GOOD cartoon! -.-

The Bad Guys: A Very Bad Holiday (2023 TV Special)

A Christmas Calamity! 😡

[1/10 · 26 December 2023]

The Bad Guys seemingly came out of nowhere and was immediately hailed as one of DreamWorks Animation's finest films in recent memory. While everyone who saw the film was hoping for more adventures of the titular gang of thieves, no one was expecting a holiday special so soon after the film's released. While I was originally intrigued, my hopes were dashed when they first trailer dropped and it looked HORRIBLE! I was hoping to go the rest of my life never seeing this, but the insistance of my 4 year old niece convinced me to give it a watch this Christmas. Despite hoping for the very bare minimum, this was exactly as terrible as I thought it was going to be! From the atrocious writing to the abominable animation, this is what the worst case scenario would've been for The Bad Guys' debut film had things gone South during production!

Directed by Bret Haaland, this holiday special takes place before the events of the film and focuses on the Bad Guys saving Christmas in order to pull off a holiday heist. Right before the word go is uttered, the special is already off to a sour start. The beginning of this story is painfully slow, with unnatural expository dialogue, unfunny jokes and a severe lack of chemistry between the leads. It does the exact opposite of how the film starts; and what's worse is that it doesn't get much better from here! Despite being 25 minutes, it feels like 25 days with its sluggish pacing. They just go on and on with trying and failing to save Christmas, and they mostly just stand around doing and saying nothing of value. The humor is just non-existent as it's mostly lousy puns, weak slapstick, and dull visual gags. This kind of writing would give the writers a big, fat lump of coal in their stocking for how bad it is!

Good gravey, are the characters in this special complete departures from their film counterparts. Not a single on of them is likable, funny, relatable, or entertaining to watch. Starting with Wolf, he's the typical narcissistic leader of the group whose ego engulfs whatever charisma he had from the film. Snake is a grumpy curmudgeon that acts more like a co-worker to Wolf rather than his best friend. Tarantula is the tech savy hacker that says techno babble to make up for her lack of a personality. Shark is the unfunny comic relief that never once got a smirk out of me. Piranha is such a liability that he might as well not be in this special. The worst characters in the special, though, have got to be the people of L. A. who have been reduced to a flock of mindless sheep that worship a giant Santa balloon like he's baby Jesus! There's also a massive Chief of Police sized hole that makes the city feel even more barron.

I'll never understand why they couldn't bring the original actors from the film to reprise their roles for this special. The actors they got in their place are doing such bad impressions of the original actors, it just feels like a waste of their talents and a waste of resources. Michael Godere sounds very flat as Wolf, and never brings the charisma and nuisance that Sam Rockwell brought to the character. Chris Diantamopoulos really isn't doing his talents any favors putting on a phoney Marc Marron impression for Snake yet not sounding nearly as crusty or natural. Ezekiel Ajeigbe sounded less like Shark and more like a guy pretending to be Shark, which is a fools errand as Shark is a master of disguise and Craig Robinson played that brilliantly. Mallory Low doesn't do a good job voicing Taranula because Awkwafina has a very distinct voice and Tarantula doesn't sound nearly as sassy or clever with an imitator. Raul Ceballos didn't give Piranha the same unhinged energy Anthony Ramos brought and his singing just doesn't even compare. No one else left a lasting impression and just sounded as stiff as their director told them to be. All the actors felt underutilized when playing imitations of actual good actors and I can't help be feel sorry for them.

Visually, this special doesn't even look good if they were going for intentionally cheap. DreamWorks hired 88 Pictures for the animation, and it looks bad from every angle. The characters don't have that cel-shaded look from the film and instead just have the standard 3D model appearance. As such, their textures are flat, the clothes looked slapped on, and the facial expressions are very limited. The character animation is very stiff and weightless with the frame rate having to be choppy to give the illusion of movement. The backgrounds also feel very empty and the buildings look like they're made of clay. The worst of the visuals are the effects, which look unpolished and amateurish. This is especially true when the balloon Santa is destroyed in a burst of flames. The first looks very phoney and when the balloon disintegrates, it looks like its on a different plain of existence. It takes time and money to produce quality animation; this special had NEITHER of those luxuries!

I loathe this special entirely! The Bad Guys: A Very Bad Holiday is a great disservice to the film and Christmas specials everywhere! The writing is atrocious, the characters are flanderized, the acting is terrible, and the animation is abominable. This is as notoriously bad as the Star Wars Holiday Special is for die-hard Star Wars fans. The big difference though is while their can be some ironic enjoyment out of that, I can't even thing of a good reason for anyone to spit in this special's direction. It deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of media this bad: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch The Bad Guys: A Very Bad Holiday! Just watch the film or read the books. This special is NOT canon and even if the producers say it is, it's nothing but a stain on the franchise's legacy -.-

Simon (2016– )

Saved By The Sub

[7/10 · 23 December 2023]

Simon caught my attention at a quick glance on Netflix and based on the appeal design of the character, I figured I give it a watch. The first episode left me rather cold as the English dub had really bad acting and off putting lip syncing. I was originally going to drop it, but then I decided to see if it faired better in the original French dub. To my surprise, it turned out to be a much superior experience than in English. From the really soild animation to the really talented voice cast, sub triumphs over dub in this international cartoon.

Based on the children's book series by Stephanie Blake, Simon follows the life of the titular bunny and his family in the rural side of France. Simon plays games with friends, goes on adventures with his brother, plays pretend, and learns some valuable life lessons. The show does a good job creating a welcoming atmosphere by showing Simon as a playful and clever kid we want to hang out with. The show also teaches kids great lessons such as learning to play fair, not be afraid of change in your routine, compromising, and helping one another. The show does a good job showing the world Simon lives in where everyone is an anthropomorphic rabbit and they're all generally nice people. This show has some good moments of humor such as clever slapstick, comedic jumpscares, and fun visual gags. My one critique with the writing, though, is it has some pacing issues. Each episode runs for about 5 minutes and as such the conflicts is over and done with rather quickly. It also doesn't leave room for surprises as the outcome of every episode is exactly what you think it's gonna be. Despite the literal short commings, this show makes up for it be teaching valuable lessons to kids and having some genuine moments of humor.

The characters could've easily got on my nerves, but mercifully they're a really likable bunch. Starting with our titular bunny, Simon is a playful and energetic kod who likes playing games and hanging out with friends. He can be bossy at tines, but he honestly means well and learns his lesson very quickly. His little brother, Gaspard, is an energetic toddler that looks up to Simon and enjoys playing with him as much as he does sucking his security blanky. Their parents, Andre and Eva, are very kind, patient, helpful, and caring people who always steer Simon in the right direction. Other characters that make a notable impression include Ferdinand, Simon's neighbor with a vast toy collection, Lou, a girl Simon met on the first day of school and whom Simon helps conquer her anxieties, Margot, Simon and Gaspard's fun babysitter, and Simon's grandparents who are the wise and lively elders in his life.

Bringing these characters to life is the more than solid voice cast on display as they all sound so natural in their roles. Salmone Keren Zeitoun sounded very good as Simon, giving him an authentic childlike wonder to his voice. Tony Sanial brilliantly made Gaspard sound so innocent and adorable. Magalie Bonfils sounded very sweet and motherly as Eva with Matthias Casatrelli sounding so friendly and patient as Andre. Casatrellia also did a good job making Simon's Grandpa sound like a distinctly old man with Angele Humeau doing a really good job voicing his Grandma. All the actors were wonderfully directed by Anne Mathot who made them all sound so natural and believable in their respective roles.

Visually, the show looks like a children's story book come to life and that's not a knock against the show. Actually, GO-N Productions did a wonderful job translating the illustrations of the original books into animation. The characters have simple but easily recognizable designs with the characters having big, expressive eyes, differing body types and unique clothes and accessories. The adults are also made tall and lengthy to signify that they look like giants from Simon's perspective. The character animation is very smooth with the characters having distinct walk cycles and their ears moving in an eb and flow manner with their heads. The biggest highlight of the visuals are the backgrounds, which are simple, yes, but also very charming and colorful. The Sun has a face on it, the house looks like a parallelogram as opposed to a square, the trees are magenta instead of the usual brown, and the school, park, and beach all look so lived in and spacious. This show really went the extra mile in making itself feel like a children's book when adapting a children's book.

Huh, that was surprisingly pretty good despite starting off on a sour note with the English dub. Simon is a more than solid children's show with likable characters, talented voice work, well crafted animation, and plenty of valuable lessons to teach kids. Sure it suffers from pacing issues, but it more than makes up for it with a really good execution. If you're learning French or you wanna teach your kids some French, I definitely recommend giving this a watch to learn some French phrases and sentence structures. I never thought I'd be in a position where I'd say the sub is better than the dub, yet here we are.

Frog and Toad (2023– )

Anemic Amphibians 😴

[2/10 · 16 November 2023]

Growing up in the 2000s and being fascinated by children's stories, Frog and Toad was always one of my most memorable childhood classics. The series was simple in its dialog and narrative, but made up for it with wonderful illustrations and engaging characters. Naturally, a show based on this book series was inevitable and the trailer made it look so much fun. So you can only imagine how crushed I felt when I actually watched the show and was met with utter disappointment. From the terrible writing to the lackluster animation, this show felt more like an endurance test on my patience.

Based on the books by the late Arnold Lobel, the show was developed by Rob Hogee with Lobel's children, Adam and Adrianne, serving as executive producers. The show follows the daily lives of our titular amphibians as they enjoy each other's company in the woods. This show should've had no trouble making me fall in love with it. Not only does it have the original author's children involved in production, it's also a short form series with each episode being 11 minutes long. Unfortunately, the problems arise from the word go. To put it bluntly, these episodes are S-L-O-W! The stories of Frog waking Toad up for Spring, Toad planting a guarding and Toad and Frog climbing a mountain all feel needlessly stretched out to 11 minutes. Most of the runtime of these episodes is dedicated to the characters standing around and talking; or worst, saying a slight variation of the same line! In the first episode, they go on and on about how good the cookies taste and what they can do to hide them. Again, it's show, don't tell, not tell, don't show! The woods also doesn't feel lived in or anthropomorphic enough with some animals walking on 4s and others standing up right? Which is it?! Not helping is the show is criminally unfunny with weak slapstick, lousy puns, and eye roll worthy visual gags. I'm not asking for the Moon or anything like that, but having good pacing and solid humor should NOT be too much to ask.

This show doesn't do a good job making the characters likable, which is especially frustrating as these should be some of the easiest characters to write. Our titular duo, Frog and Toad, are nothing but incompetent and insipid ingrates that are so slow, they make snails look like roadrunners. Frog is more of an annoying pest that never thinks before he acts and Toad is a vacuous loser who's never heard of the word patience. These 2 feel like flanderizations of beloved characters who, despite their differences in personality, are very good friends who work off each other and have great chemistry. As is, these lily hoppers might as well get lost in the swamp. Nobody else leave a lasting impression. Not Robin, not Mink, not Gopher, not Snail, NOBODY!

The best I can say about this show is the voice acting is really good. Nat Faxon and Kevin Michael Richardson sound exactly how I imagined Frog and Toad would sound when reading the books. Faxon makes Frog sound like an eccentric, yet kind and understanding friend. Richardson's natural baratone voice perfectly suits Toad's laid back, soft spoken and generous voice. Selene Luna sounded pretty chipper as Robin. Tom Kenny did really solid work as Mink, even given him a nice singing voice. I also thought Cole Escola, Aparna Nancherla and Ron Funches did good work as Gopher, Snail and Racoon respectively. Despite the lackluster material, the actors certainly brought their A game to the project.

Visually, the show looks like the book illustrations come to life...until the characters start moving, then it just looks like awkward paper cut outs. Titmouse provided the animation and it's honestly not their best work. On one hand, the character designs look like they leaped (no pun intend) off the pages of the books. Frog and Toad maintain their anthropomorphic design with webbed feet, divided eyes and bumpy worts. The backgrounds are also beautifully crafted, having a storybook like feel to them, yet feeling so immersive. The actual animation, though, is really stiff. Like the characters have very restricted movements when they walk, talk, or make funny faces. It's as if they are forbidden from going off-model and take full advantage of being in animation in order to stay true to the original book illustrations. This is especially true when it comes to Toad making silly faces to make the seeds grow. It feels like they're holding back and it doesn't look nearly as silly. Design-wise, this show looks like the books come to life; but when the characters actually come to life, it doesn't look right.

BLAH! This cartoon was a snooze fest! Frog and Toad is an unremarkably boring cartoon with terrible writing, incompetent characters, non-existent humor, and weak animation. I'll give it credit that the voice acting is good and it's well designed, but that's nowhere near enough to give it a recommendation. If you grew up with the books like yours truly, spare yourself the disappointment and watch Winnie The Pooh or Little Bear instead. I never asked for the Moon, but a good cartoon should NOT be such a tall order -.-

Oddballs (2022–2023)

Not Odd Enough :/

[5/10 · 7 November 2023]

After developing a strong following on YouTube, James Rallison attempts to bring his animation skills to the next level with an original cartoon show. Yet despite his admirable efforts, Oddballs is disappointingly average upon execution. For every funny joke and creative visual, there lackluster writing and unlikable characters that follows almost immediately.

Created by Rallison and Ethan Banville, the show follows the misadventures of Rallison's cartoon persona and his crocodile best friend, Max, in the small town of Dirt. There's the running narrative of an evil toaster bent on revenge, as well, but it's only of great importance in the first and last episode. Each episode has this basic formula of James ranting about something, he's put into a conflict based on his rant, shenanigans ensue. While that's a neat nod to the structure of his videos on his channel, TheOdd1sOut, it gets very formulaic in the show itself. Episodes tend to drag on because we know exactly how they're gonna play out. We know James is gonna spill the beans on his phone breaking to his Mom, we know Mr. McFly was gonna trick James into giving an earnest oral report, we know James is gonna snap at Echo for being a slob, etc.. What also hurts the writing greatly is the town of Dirt isn't remotely interesting as it's full of mindless sheep, there aren't a bunch of memorable hangout spots outside the science lab, and the school James and Max go do only has 3 staff members. But, what saves this show from having outright terrible writing is some of the jokes are really funny. The humor is mostly comprised of meta commentary, some clever puns, and inventive slapstick. While not all jokes are winners, it's actually refreshing to see a cartoon have more hits than misses in the humor department. If this show had doubled down on the slapstick and meta commentary, I'd say this is one of the funniest shows on Netflix. Alas, it's very poor writing structure can't be ignored.

The characters make the title a bit misleading as out of all the characters in this show, only 1 actually lives up to it. And no, it's not James' cartoon persona. In this show, James is a self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic twit who complains about everything and everyone. I really hope this is not a reflection of James Rallison as a person, because I definitely would want nothing to do with him if this is who he actually is. Echo isn't much better as she's an insipid, arrogant gluten who wastes her time eating and butting heads with James every time she appears. James' parents aren't much to write home about as his Mom is aloof and his Dad is a moron, Mr. McFly is an attention seeking loser, Stewart is the atypical bully, and Toasty is a generic revenge seeking villain. You know who's the best character out of the entire cast? Max the Crocodile! Max is the epitome of a lovable, chaotic doofus. He says some of the most random things and he always gets a chuckle out of me. He's also really kind, caring, honest, strong, and helpful. He's such a good character, that I wish this show was about him instead of James and his rants. That would've made for a far more interesting and funny show.

The voice acting is actually pretty good, though some actors are stronger than others. James, of course, has a very natural and lively voice and it's always nice to hear him talk. Julian Grant is the MVP of this show as he nails Max's manic nature and makes him really funny. Kimberly Brooks was alright as Echo, though I think she could've been a little more sassy and emotionally resonate. Carl Farulo sounded really so phoney as Stewart giving him a falso fat guy voice that just never sounded authentic. Gary Anthony Williams did a pretty good job as Mr. McFly, making him sound experienced and really selling his tick of him dragging out his s's. All the other actors did decent work, though it was a very special treat hearing Jane Lynch voice James' Grandma.

Visually, this show looks really good. Netflix collabed with Atomic Cartoons to upgrade James' signature style and it looks like his YouTube videos on a much larger budget. The characters all have soft, rounded designs with brightly colored attire and differing body types. They also make great use of close-up zooms, particularly with Max in moments when he more closely resemble a real crocodile. The backgrounds are also very well detailed with Dirt having lots of liter on the ground, different types of shops, and a lived in suburb. The most visually pleasing background is the science lab where it's full of different scientists, gadgets, experiments and machines. It looks so much more exciting to be in than the bland open desert and I wish we spent more time there. One thing that can certainly be said about this show us James has a good eye for quality animation.

The odd 1 is definitely out on this show. Oddballs is a mixed bag of a cartoon that doesn't fully succeed as a good companion piece for James' channel or a very well made cartoon. Sure it's got some funny moments, well crafted visuals, solid voice work, and the show stealing, lovable doofus that is Max. That said, it also has some really bad writing, an otherwise unlikable cast of characters, and a rather empty setting. I don't think I can fully recommend this to anyone when you could just watch TheOdd1sOut on YouTube. If you're really curious, you can watch the first episode or 2 and pretty much get your fill of the show. As much as I'm a fan of James Rallison, I can't really say the same about his cartoon :/

Hamster & Gretel (2022– )

The Catastrophic Crusader! 😡

[1/10 · 3 November 2023]

Following the success of Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Dan Povenmire concocts a brand new show for the Mouse House's television division. My hopes were understandably high given his track record, but I still vowed to judge this show fairly on its own merits without unjustly comparing it to its predecessors. So, on its own merits as a new Disney show I can confidently say this cartoon...IS A BLOOMING ATROCIOUS ABOMINATION! That might sound like hyperbole, but as you'll find in this review, that statement couldn't be more accurate!

The latest show from Dan Povenmire, Hamster & Gretel follows the adventures of a girl and her pet hamster teaming up and fighting bad guys. This premise sounds simple and could've made for a very funny show that took a meta spin on the superhero genre. What we get instead is a superhero show that fails to be super and heroic. The writing is frustratingly abysmal with the origin being complete dumped upon you in the first episode and any sense of character development and growth just zipped on by. I kid you not, the very next scene after Hamster and Gretel get their powers, she already has a costume with not explaination as to how or why. There's also no strughle for her when it comes to figuring out her powers, no set up for any of her villains and no consequences to her messing things up. In addition to very speedy pacing, this show has very clunky dialogue with long drawn out exposition scenes and characters saying stuff that's very obvious. Then there's the humor, or should I say lack there of? This show's humor consists of lame puns, weak slapstick, and painfully unfunny visual gags. They also have a habit of explaining the joke, which I despise with a passion. This isn't even first or second draft kind of bad writing: this is just unacceptable!

The characters are some of the most unlikable and annoying characters I've seen from a Disney production outside of Hailey's On It. Starting with our titular duo, Hamster (side note: can we stop giving pets the names of their species? It's not cute, it makes their owners incompetent and lazy) is the silent character who rarely talks but doesn't have anything interesting to say. The thing about Hamster, though, is he's the least bad out of the entire cast because everyone else is just an annoying and incompetent moron! Gretel is yet another annoying chatterbox that's irresponsible, stupid, careless, and unfunny. Her brother, Kevin, isn't much better as he's a winey, stupid, overbearing and chatty teen who mostly just fills in space. Fred is the typical goth girl, Carolina is the naive and aloof mother, Dave is the idiot father and Bailey is the dimwitted best friend. Then there are the "villains" who are just left over fodder from Teamo Supremo. They're all petty, stupid, annoying, and pathetic losers that shouldn't be taken seriously and are more nuisances than actual threats.

The voice acting is honestly terrible, which is a shame because some of these actors have done good work in other shows. Dan Povenmire's daughter, Meli, was just awful as Gretel as she not only sounded nothing like a 9 year old girl, but she also sounded so disinterested and unsure in her line deliveries. Michael Cimino didn't sound enthusiastic as Kevin, either, and he honestly didn't have much chemistry with Gretel. Beck Bennett only had a few lines as Hamster, but not one of them was memorable or funny. Joey King didn't sound very convincing as a goth girl, as she kinda had a bit of a valley girl accent which didn't fit the character. Matt Jones is using same voice he's used in all his roles for Dave and doesn't make him sound memorable or interesting. Carolina Ravassa sounded very unconvincing as the typical Mother with a Spanish accent as all I kept thinking was that is Sombra from Overwatch pretending to be a housewife. Try as the veteran actors might, not even they can salvage the clunky material they're given.

Visually, it's a nice looking Disney show from a design standpoint, but falls apart in the animation department. The characters have really unique designs that stay true to Povenmire's geometric style while also being very distinct from his previous shows. The characters have different shapes for their heads, their clothes are colorful and they have differing body types. The backgrounds are also very well crafted and this city definitely feels lived in. In motion, though, that's when you notice some glaring issues. The characters move in a very speedy pace much like the writing as if standing still or movig subtly was strictly forbidden. This is especially evident in the action scenes, which are over almost as soon as they begin. This show also does everything in its power to cut away from the action scenes to show an unfunny visual gag. Design-wise, it looks really good, but once it's in motion, that's when the problem starts.

The worst aspect about this show, though, is the awful sound mixing. I'm not savy in sound mixing, but I know for a fact that you're not supposed to make rookie mistakes in a professional production such as this show. When characters are talking off screen, they sound like they're speaking into a tin can, thus killing the illusion. I'm well aware this was made during the pandemic, but even during the time of social distancing animated productions still managed to work around these restrictions and put out a well put together product. There should be no reason why something like this should be in a cartoon made by the biggest entertainment company on Earth. If this was intentional, thanks, I hate it!

That was totally HORRENDOUS! Hamster & Gretel is an abominable cartoon with atrocious writing, annoying characters, terrible voice acting, nonexistent humor, and badly directed animation. The biggest sin this show commits, though, is being bad on a technical level with it's choppy editing and amateurish sound mixing. This isn't just bad, this is INEXCUSABLY BAD! As such it deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Hamster & Gretel! Don't even mention it to Dan Povenmire on social media! You're better off watching Phineas and Ferb 104 times than watching this show even once! -.-

Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles (2022)

A Dishonorable Adaptation! 😡

[1/10 · 7 October 2023]

My only exposure to tge character of Miyamoto Usagi is from his crossover appearances with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the 2003 series. I always wondered if this character would get his own show or movie given his cult status. With Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles, we were given just that...NOT! In a blatant bait and switch, not only is this show not about Miyamoto Usagi, it's also not even a decently made show by itself! From the abysmal writing to the unengaging action scenes, this is a rare case in I, as a non-fan of the source material, am utterly furious with how the show does it a disservice!

Developed by Candie and Doug Langdale (who created the FAR superior Weekenders and Dave The Barbarian), the show is very, very, VERY loosely based on the Usagi Yojimbo comics by Stan Sakai. This show focuses on Miyamoto Usagi's descendant, Yuichi, as he fights yokai with the help of his friends. Before the word go is even spoken we already have our first problem: this is NOT about Miyamoto Usagi! This wouldn't be so bad if this was a continuation of an Usagi Yojimbo series. However, this is the very first standalone adaptation of the comics since their inception back in the 80s. Ergo, this should've been a reintroduction for the character and his world for a new generation. What we get instead is a terribly made action cartoon that views it's audience as infantile! The writing is mind-numbingly abysmal with long stretches of the runtime dedicated to exposition dumps, uninteresting world building and unfunny jokes. Nothing is left up to the imagination as characters just chatter on like macaques at a monkey convention! There are also superfluous flashback and daydream sequences that slow the pacing to a crawl. The way this world functions is handled very poorly with character constantly telling Yuichi what not to do in the city and episodes contradicting established lore in the very next episode. I.e. Yokai were imprisoned because they were wreaking havoc, then in the very next episode it's revealed that not all yokai are evil. WHICH THE FLOP IS IT?! Lastly, the humor is just painfully unfunny, to the point where it would even make Michaelangelo cringe. The jokes consists of lame puns, eye roll worthy quips, dull slapstick, and obvious subversions. I'm well aware I sound like a broken record, but it bares repeating: it's SHOW, DON'T TELL! You shouldn't have your character chatter on and on about how the world works when you have the opportunity to show it, especially in animation!

The characters are nothing short of hatable and annoying chatterboxes that have never even heard of the saying, "Speak little, do much." Starting with our leading motor mouth, Yuichi is an arrogant, selfish, reckless, and stupid rabbit that never stops to think or reason before going in blades a swinging. If he really wanted to be a samurai like his ancestor, Miyamoto, he would learnt patience and humility are a warrior's greatest weapons, not his stinking sword! Also he has a tiny dinosaur named Spot, who has the personality of a dog but is undercut by the fact that he's a shrunken dinosaur. Gen is a cautious and anxious rhino who butts heads with Yuichi. Kitsune is a greedy theif who always takes stuff and never learns that that's not a good thing. Chizu is a double agent ninja who betrays her friends but eventually redeems herself. Per Imdb's rules, I have to say that's a spoiler, but trust me, even an eyeless shrimp would see it coming a mile away. Tetsujin is the cooky keeper of the stone who's just there to fill up space, Chikabuma is an annoying dork, and Kagehito is just a monster with a raspy voice. Then there's Lord Kogane, the shogun of Neo Edo. He's easily one of the worst portrayals of an elected official I've ever seen. He's such an incompetent, arrogant, self-centered, narcissistic, pin head that cares only about himself and his ego. I don't know what it is about showrunners and making elected officials be incompetent egomaniacs, but I for one am sick and tired of seeing it in cartoons!

The voice acting is honestly really bland, like everyone's just phoning it in and just reading what's on the script without becoming their assigned character. Darren Barnet didn't sound as enthusiastic or authentic as Yuichi as I would've liked. Aleks Le didn't sound very memorable as Gen, nor did Mallory Low as Chizu. Shelby Rabara just didn't fit as Kitsune as all I heard was Peridot's voice as opposed to an actual character. Keone Young was fine, I guess? I mean, he would've been better if he had better material for Tetsujin, but it's still nice hearing his voice. SungWoo Hoo, aka ProZD on YouTube is fine, though the voice he chose for Kogane got really grating the more he talked. The only actor that I think does a decent job with the material he's given is Eric Bauza as he gives Kagehito and Chikabuma distinct but memorable voices. Still, it really isn't a good sign when only 1 actor out of the cast is doing a good job.

Visually, the animation is really stiff, which is quite common for 3D animated shows with a limited budget. Netflix collabed with Atomic Monster, Dark Horse and Gaumount Animation to bring the show to life and the result is a bit of a mix bag. On one hand, the characters are well designed with them all being anthropomorphic animals in attire that's a mix of old and modern Japanese traditions. I also like the design of the flashbacks and dream sequence and how they look like old Japanese paintings. The yokai also have unique designs and their spirt ball forms look really good. Neo Edo also looks like a lived in Japanese city with old and modern aesthetics. All that said, though, the actual character animation is really stiff with characters lacking clear mass and their movements are rather clunkly. This is especially evident in the actions scenes, which have no fluidity to them, generic cinematography and nonexistent stakes. Design-wise, it looks good, but in actual animation, it's no better than most other badly made 3D cartoons.

This show is nothing but a big old pile of DISHONOR! Dishonor on the writing, dishonor on the characters, dishonor on the acting, dishonor on the animation, and worst of all, dishonor on the comic it's based on! If you're a fan of the original Usagi Yojimbo comics, you have my deepest sympathies if you were disgusted by this show. It most certainly deserves the worst fate to be bestowed on a cartoon: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Samurai Rabbit! Don't even bother looking at the preview! If you really want your cartoon samurai fix, 1 episode of Samurai Jack alone blows this entire show out of the water! -.-

Mech Cadets (2023– )

A Colossal Waste Of Time! 😡

[1/10 · 3 October 2023]

After the abysmal failure of one cartoon about giant robots fighting monsters, you'd think the immediate next cartoon in the same genre would be at the very least a step up in quality. Infuriatingly, Mech Cadets is yet another waste of an amazing premise. From the atrocious writing to the horrendous action scenes, this show continues this seemingly never ending train of sloppily made modern cartoons.

Based on the comic by Greg Pak and Takeshi Miyazawa, Mech Cadets has an astounding premise that would make an amazing TV show. A group of specially trained youths pilot giant robots to fight alien monsters and defend the Earth. That premise alone is what likely got the show picked up on the spot. If you think this show more than delivers on it's premise, you'd be DEAD WRONG! Yeah, that premise was all hype and the actual show is nothing more than a generic melodrama about a bunch of dull and annoying characters spoonfeeding exposition to the audience like we're freaking babies! Nothing is left up to the imagination or visuals as each episode just has characters standing around doing nothing but spout exposition! One scene is literally just that! A character is explained their backstory to another and they're just standing there while the camera zooms back and forth across the room. No flashbacks! No interesting camera angles! NO NOTHING! As such the show has painfully sluggish pacing and just goes through the motions of a typical underdog story. What? The garbage boy aspires to be a pilot? Wow! I wonder if he gets his chance by sheer dumb luck! Oh wow! He did?! Well, gee wilickers! I hope everything turns out fine for him when he disobeys a direct order! What are the freaking odds?! He still gets to keep his giant robot after getting kicked out! And what's this? The leading general is the bad guy all along?! Who would've freaking guessed?! See, THAT'S the kind of writing that shows like Cobra Kai would be torn to shredds over! It's so formulaic and boring that it makes these episodes feel like an eternity to sit through! Then there's the humor, or should I say lack there of? All we get is a bunch of tired quips, unfunny gags, and very cringy attempts at imitation humor. This premise should've written itself, yet this is a prime example of the right idea in the wrong hands!

The characters are ironically more machine like than the giant robots with how often they spout exposition. Stanford is the generic underdog who gets everything handed to him through dumb luck. He goes on and on about wanting to be a pilot and making his late Dad proud and yet he never becomes relatable or interesting. Maya is Stanford's friend who's just there to be a parrot for Stanford. His Mom, Dolly, is just there to be his emotional support blanket. Olivia is a bitter rival with Daddy issues, Frank is the failed comic relief, and Ava is the girl who's hesitation really should've gotten her killed. Then there's General Aiden Park, Olivia's Dad and the big cheese of the academy. This guy is not a good person nor is he an interesting villain. He emotionally manipulates and gaslights his own daughter and is all about putting the safety of the world before the lives of family members. That would only make sense if we SAW men women and children being terrorized by alien monsters, but even then that's just freaking evil! Not even General Ross was willing to put his daughter, Betty, in handcuffs when apprehending Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk. There's being a harden general, then there's just being an incompetent moron who doesn't hear how evil he clearly sounds! General Park is the latter! No one else leaves that much of an impression and the robots and monsters are just colossal props for the cast to use.

The voice acting is honestly rather bland, like everyone's just going through the motions and don't make the characters sound that believable. Brandon Soo Hoo sounded really flat as Stanford, making him sound as generic as his character already is. Victoria Grace sounded bored as Olivia, which is good if they wanted her to be an emotionless husk and not a victim of emotional abuse. Josh Sundquist sounded fine as Frank but noting really stood out about his performance. Likewise Aprena Brielle as Ava and Anairis Quinones as Maya. The only decent actors are veterans Ming-Na Wen as Dolly and Daniel Dae Kim as General Park, but even then the material they're given doesn't do either of their talents justice.

Visually, the animation isn't that good, which is a shame because it's provided by Polygon Pictures, the same company behind Transformers: Prime and it's successor Transformers: Robots In Disguise. I'll give them credit that the character designs look fantastic with a great use of the cel-shading style that's common place now. The characters also have a futuristic yet grounded look to them with polished mech suits, gruff details, and natural looking facial features. I also really like the look of the robots and monsters as they feel colossal and have a lot of detail put into them. All that being said though, that's where the positives for the show end. The actual character animation is very weightless and choppy with characters looking like their have little to now mass and the frame rate cutting back and forth from being fluid to being choppy. Where the visuals suffer the most, though, is in the action scenes. By Schwarzenegger's chiseled pecs are these abominable action scenes! First of all, there's very few of them in a show about giant robots fighting monsters. Second, when they do show up, they are so disorienting and choppy with the camera going all over the place and not allowing the audience to see what's going on! Last and most importantly, THEY'RE TOO DANG QUICK! As soon as a fight between these mighty giants start, it over in less than 30 seconds! COME THE FLOP ON! This is borderline false advertising! Try as the animators might, all their hard work was ruined by the terrible cinematography and editing.

What a colossal waste of TIME! Mech Cadets is another prime example of how NOT to make a cartoon! The writing is atrocious, the characters are dull exposition machines, the acting is bland and the animation is choppy and weightless. The biggest cardinal sin this show commits, though, is having terrible action scenes that barely last long enough to qualify this as an action show! It most certainly deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Mech Cadets! Don't even bother looking into the comic it's based on because I doubt it's any better if this is how they promoted it. You know what you should do instead? Watch Michael Bay's Transformers quintology! I'm as serious as a heart attack! You find actually entertainment value with that film serious, whereas here all you'll find is wasted potential! 😡

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020)

Unexotic Creatures and How They Waste Your Time! 😡

[1/10 · 16 September 2023]

Kipo and the Age Of Wonderbeasts has developed a strong fanbase since its arrival on Netflix in 2020. After a string of one disastrous cartoon after another, I was hoping to finally catch a break with this show. Frustratingly, that is NOT the case as once again we have a show that highlights all worst traits of a cartoon. From the atrocious writing to underwhelming voice work, this cartoon only makes me wonder how this is even standing.

Based on the comic by Radford Sechrist and developed by Bill Wolkolff, this show follows the adventures of Kipo as she navigates a post apocalyptic Earth to find her Dad and fellow burrow people. She's accompanied by girl with a wolf pelt, a guy with his bug sidekick, and a 4 eyed pig. I'm all for post-apocalyptic worlds and seeing new and exciting creatures that live in them. This show should've hooked me from the word go. And yet, the show itself is just one painful slog after another with the standard unfunny gag in between to make it more infuriating! The writing in this show is such an atrocity as characters just go on and on eith exposition. Instead of taking the time to show what Kipo's life was like before she ended up on the surface, she just goes on and on about it and as such never shuts up! The show also has never heard of the word pacing as most of the time the characters just stand in one spot and talk for minutes on end instead of actually doing something productive to progress the story. A prime example of how bad the writing is in in the episode Real Cats Wear Plaid where the characters stand in front of a cage while the lumberjack cats brawl. That was almost 3 minutes of the characters NOT escaping, NOT trying to resolve the conflict, NOT getting out of the way of a falling try, and NOT even being funny! And yes, you did hear me correctly. I said LUMBERJACK FREAKING CATS! Which leads me to talk about the world building and how misleading the title is! The creatures in this post-apocalyptic world (called mutes, as in mutants) aren't wonderful nor are they ferocious beasts. At best they're just deformed wild animals that don't attack unless provoked and at worst they're just normal people who might as well be in furry costumes. You have the opportunity to showcase fantastical creatures in post-apocalyptic world and the best you can do is lumberjack cats, gangster frogs, metal head snakes and nerd wolves?! Lame, lame, lame, lame, LAME! Then there's the humor, which is the typical juvenile humor I've come to expect in badly made cartoons. It's got a berage of poop jokes, unfunny puns, mispronounciations of words, and characters acting really stupid. What really makes this all the more infuriating is how this show is supposed to resonate with audiences of all ages, hence why it's developed such a cult following. I'm aware poop jokes might be funny for some people, but the way they're executed here leads me to believe the creators were hoping to tickle little kids' funny bone rather than treat their audience as mature enough to understand that this is a story worth taking seriously. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this is INEXCUSABLE WRITING!

The characters are so annoying and one-dimensional, I fully expect them all to be eaten, or squashed, or torn limb from limb as the show went on. Yeah, they're THAT detestable! Starting with our titular heroine, Molly McGee- I mean Kiff- I mean Mimi Mortimor- I mean Hailey Banks- I mean Kipo...Horse. Yeah, I think it's painfully obvious what kind of personality she has and why every time she opens her mouth, I want her to be swallowed by a man eating plant! She's accompanied by a lone wolf who Kipo calls Wolf, who's brooding and serious like a lone wolf a begrudgingly helps Kipo to find her people, because that's what lone wolves do. Did I mention that she's a lone wolf?! Benson is a nervous wreck who's cowardly nature holds him back but he never gets eaten or killed because then he'd actually serve a purpose other than be a whiny COW! His sidekick, David, is just their to spout unfunny jokes and be a nuisance. Mandu is just a 4 eyed pig that acts as Kipo's loyal pet, but other than that he's just there to fill in space. Then there's Jamack, a gangster frog who's as pathetic as his very existence. The show tries making him a threatening villain and arch rival for Kipo, but in reality he's just a loser that's not even threatening enough to make babies cry. He doesn't think before he acts and his grudge against Kipo just makes him all the more pathetic.

The voice acting is honestly rather stale and lifeless. Karen Fukahara has a very lively and bubbly voice while also delivering some somber and poignant line deliveries...as Glimmer from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Yet another reason why I hate Kipo as a character because all I hear is a much better character's voice coming out of this chatterbox's pie hole! Sydney Mikayla did good giving Wolf a stonecold brooding voice in the first episode, but in the next episode we do see that she has range. Oop, my mistake, that was actually in the third episode. No, no, no, no, I meant forth. No, scratch that, I mean fifth. No, wait, I mean-yeah, you get the idea. She's so one note that she's forbidden to have any personality outside that one note. Coy Stewart was honestly pretty bad as Benson, like his deliveries sounded really forced and I never once bought him as the character. Deon Cole wasn't particularly funny as Dave nor did he give Dave a memorable voice. Jake Green gave Jamack a very generic male voice. No accent, no tick, just a very normal sounding voice. Veteran voice actors Dee Bradley Baker and Grey Griffin are the only ones actually doing a good job here, the the former providing really good pig sounds for Mandu and the latter putting on a convincing mellow rockstar voice for Cotton. Try as they might, the actors just couldn't salvage bad direction and lackluster material.

Visually, the animation is rather stiff and jagged. DreamWorks collabed with Studio Mir to animated this show and it's neither of the studios' best work. The character designs are well crafted with the humans having round heads, pointy fingers, and appropriate attire. The creatures also have some good designs that definitely showcase how mutated they are. The actual character animation, though, isn't very good to look at. The movements are rather stiff with some frames seemingly being cut as the characters move. This is especially the case with the action as it's all so jagged and shakey. If this was trying to emulate the style of the original comic or a live action movie, it failed on both fronts because rather than enhance the story it only further detracts from it. I will say that the backgrounds are very well detailed and you can definitely see remnants of what Earth used to be like. It either should've been clearer with it's stylization or just commit to being fully animated. Trying to have it both ways just leasts to an awkward looking cartoon.

I really wanted to like this show, but darn it this is yet another prime example of how NOT to make a cartoon! Kipo and the Age Of Wonderbeasts is an abysmal show that fails at EVERYTHING! The writing is atrocious, the characters are detestable, the voice acting is stay, and the animation is so stiff and jagged! This definitely doesn't feel like a show everyone strongly recommend I check out. If you want what this show has but actually done right, watch Samurai Jack. You're guaranteed a much better time than this cartoon catastrophe. Kipo is such a detestable show, it deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Kipo! Don't even be fooled by the title. Trust me, there's nothing wonderful or beast-like about this stupid cartoon! -.-

Centaurworld (2021)

Stallion Of The Cimorons! 😡

[1/10 · 6 September 2023]

Centaurworld has developed quite the following since it's 2021 premiere. Naturally I was curious to see if this should would be as good as people claimed it was. Frustratingly, that is not the case in my experience as this is yet another horrible "style over substance" show. From the abysmal writing to the insufferable characters, this herd makes the Griffin family look like the 7 Little Monsters.

Created by Megan Nicole Dong, Centaur world follows a stoic warhorse being sent to a magical world full of centaurs and they join her on her quest to get back home to her rider. This sounds like it could be an amazing show where the horse's ideals are put to the test and she learns that there's more to life than just riding into battle. And that is exactly the kind of show I DIDN'T GET! What we actually have here is yet an another annoying show that thinks very little of it's target audience and is the equivalent to listening to howler monkeys having a screaming match. This show has no concept of good lacing as the nearly half hour long episodes slog through characters standing around and talking about nothing important, a bombardment of exposition and tons of unfunny jokes. The show also has the characters break out into forgettable song numbers because it wasn't bad enough that page after page of the script is just the characters standing around chatting it up. These songs, while adequately sung, are terrible writing with redundant and unfunny lyrics, weak production values and little to know impact on the story. Not helping is the overabundance of exposition dumps, which go on telling the audience about important context such as how Wammawink left Shamen Training or Horse's relationship with her rider instead of showing the audience. Then there's the humor which consists of fart jokes, lame puns and character flanderizations. There was a good idea for a show here, yet the writing makes it about as exciting as horse fertilizer.

All the characters in this show can't be summed up as such: "HAUGH! EEEEE-HAUGH! Does that makes me annoying?! Well sucks to be you, because you're STUCK WITH ME! EEEEEE-HAUGH!" Our leading walking glue bucket is a warhorse simply called Horse, who instead of being serious, brave, loyal, and kind hearted, is an annoying crybaby that never shuts the flop up about wanting to see her rider. I don't care about her dilemma because she treats it like she lost her stuffed bear and we never see what makes her such a loyal steed in the first place. Accompanying her is a heard of moronic centaurs who all have one personality trait and are IMMEDIATELY flanderized to being one-dimensional caricatures of what used to be good characters. Wammawink is the overprotective mother-like leader of the herd, Zulius is a vain narcissist, Ched is an ignoramus who has it in for Horse for no good reason, Glendale is a kooky and annoying theif and Durpleton is an annoying farting machine. Collectively, they're all a great inconvenience to Horse because they wreck everything, they whine and groan about everything, they're all mind numbingly stupid, and they never SHUT THE FLOP UP!!! The Shamens are just exposition dumpsters that don't have distinct personalities of their own and the Rider Horse goes on about has less personality than a wooden post.

The voice acting is all around bad, which is a shame because I these actors were really trying their best. Kimiko Glenn tries to give Horse a serious and sarcastic voice, but it never sounds right as I just hear that stupid, annoying squirrel, Kiff, coming out of this horse's mouth. Megan Hitly always has on this exaggerated motherly voice as Wammawink and it gets really grating after a while. Pravesh Cheena gives Zulius a very obnoxious and flamboyant voice, but never truly sounds like a character. Chris Diantamopoulos maintains a "come at me, bro" attitude as Ched and the more he talks, the more I want his character to be kicked in the mouth. Josh Radnor sounded really flat as Durpleton as he mostly spoke softly and never grew much of a personality otherwise. Show creator Megan Nicole Dong voices Glendale and she's honestly the worst actress here as she's clearly putting on a silly, gurgly voice and it always sounds amateurish at best. Despite their best efforts, the actors can't escape bad voice direction.

Visually, the show looks pretty good, which is about as high of praise I can give this stupid show. Netflix collabed with Sketchshark Productions, Mercury Filmworks and Red Dog Culture House to bring the animation to life and they did solid work here. The characters have distinct designs with Horse looking like a very real, stoic warhorse, and each of the centaurs having a distinct look based on their specific species. This is a blessing and a curse though, as while Wammawink and Zulius look pretty good, Glendale looks very awkward with twig like limbs and buldging eyes that take up most of her head. The character animation flows fluidly with solid trotting, really well detailed facial expressions and colorful effects. The land of Centaurworld also has very well detailed environments such as a foreboding forest, a colorful meadow and a luscious river. My one gripe with it though is the severe lack of centaurs in this Centaurworld. We see some, yes, but it's scarcely populated for a planet inhabited primarily by centaurs. While the animation isn't the best nor is it even good enough to give it an extra point, at least it not abominable to look at.

Somewhere in the Ancient Greek fields, Chiron's bashing his head into a mountain at how STUPID this show is! Centaurworld, despite having a really good concept, shoots itself in the foot with a bazooka thanks to its abysmal writing, annoying as heck characters, forgettable songs, stupid, unfunny humor, and very stale voice acting! As pretty as it is to look at, I can name 5 cartoons that look better and ARE better than this horse apple of a cartoon: Steven Universe, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Samurai Jack, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Kid Cosmic. Centaurworld is so bad, it more than deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Centaurworld! Don't let your curiousity fool you into thinking this is going to be good. You're much better off watching any of the 5 shows I recommend over this steaming pile of horse fertilizer -.-

Super Giant Robot Brothers (2022)

The Infuriating Giants! 😡

[1/10 · 1 September 2023]

Those who know me know that I'm a big fan of giant robots. The towering mechanized giants duking it out with giant monsters or evil robots gets me hyped no matter what. So it makes it all the more soul crush when I watched Super Giant Robot Brothers and it left me steaming from ear to ear at how bad it is. From the the atrocious writing to the choppy animation, this show's quality makes Robotboy look like The Iron Giant.

Created by Victor Maldonado and Alfredo Torres (with Pixar veteran Mark Andrews serving as director of each episode), this show follows 2 giant robots fighting kaiju in the distant future and protecting innocent people. While that pitch sounds exciting and could make for a more than entertaining show, the execution drops the ball like a meteor! The writing in this show is nothing short of abysmal with a constant barrage of exposition dumps, poorly conveyed science mumbo jumbo, and very predictable plot lines. If you've grown tired of the "fish out of water" plot, or the "envy turns you evil" plot, or the "virus in machines" plot like I am, this show does nothing to make them remotely interesting. I'm also really sick and tired of animated shows dumping exposition onto the audience when it'd be so much better if you SHOW it! Then there are the jokes and oh crooked cucumbers! Do they SUCK! Every joke is either an annoying running gag, a stupid pun, cringy dancing, and lousy gross out. This juvenile humor is made worse when you realize this show is rated TVPG, as in meant for older kids and not 4 year olds. I don't know why this show felt like it needed to explain everything to the audience and have childish humor when it would've worked just fine if it focused on the robots fighting giant monsters (not that they're much better).

The characters in this show seem to have taking How To Be Annoying lessons from Molly McGee. Starting with one half of our titular duo, Shiney is without a doubt the stupidest and most annoying robot I have ever seen in a cartoon! He doesn't think before he acts, he always butts in on important stuff, he tries and fails to be funny, and his ego is so big it would make Ego the Living Planet cringe. Worst of all, is he never, ever, ever, EVER shuts the flop up! I'm as serious as a heart attack! Most of the episodes runtime is just dedicated to Shiney opening his big mouth and not closing it ONCE! His brother, Thunder, is not as annoying but he's not good either. He's just the typical straight man with one emotion: serious. Together, they just make an incompetent duo with Thunder having to do most of the heavy lifting and Shiney not being able to shut his half-wit pie hole if his life depended on it. The other characters aren't much better, in case you're wondering. Alex is the young genius who acts more like a walking clipboard full of science mumbo jumbo than an actual person. Colonel Creed is a loud mouth commanding officer that talks about sports and uses sports analogies constantly. Sarge is the hot tempered, spiteful villain of the week. And there's this alien shapeshifter who's disguises are so unconvincing, everyone in the base is an uneducated moron for not seeing through it. Then there are the kaiju themselves, which obviously aren't gonna have much going for them. But my problem with them is we don't get into the why they're attacking innocent people. Are they just wild animals protecting their terf? Is there a big bad sending them out one by one to destroy the world? Are they lost and scared and are only attacking to protect themselves? All of these questions and more are NOT even asked nevermind answered because this show does a terrible job at world building.

The voice acting is just very grating and none of the actors sound right in their roles. Eric Lopez sounded very nasally and wasn't remotely funny as Shiney. Chris Diantamopoulos sounded bored voicing Thunder and was honestly under utilized considering he's one of the current voices of Mickey Mouse. Marisa Davila didn't sound very convincing as a science genius who's also a child as she just sounded like a typical teenager reading the science stuff off a page and not actually believing it. Delbert Hunt was way too over the top as Creed and made him sound less like a commanding officer and more like your sports fanatic uncle on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm aware the actors are trying their best, but the material and direction they were given isn't doing them any favors.

Visually this show has a good idea for stylized animation but like everything else in this stupid show, they botched in in execution. Netflix collabed with Reel FX and Assemblage Animation Studios to bring the show to life and it looks really choppy. I get what they were trying to do, though, as they wanted to give it a stylized 3D animated look. The characters have smooth textures, their bodies are designed to match their personalities and there's some very good use of effects. Unfortunately, once the characters are in motion, that's when it becomes an issue. Unlike Kid Cosmic and Into the Spider-Verse where limiting the frame rate makes them look like a comic book come to life, here it looks like 3D animatics before it would be shipped to the in-between department to make it more polished. The character movements are so ridged and they lack of mass for these giant robots is painfully obvious. It get much worse in the action scenes where it cuts away from the action and when it cuts back you barely see what's going on. The backgrounds are also very empty with flat surfaces and the citizens being evacuated at the speed of sound. Again, I'm all for stylized animation, but this is a prime example of what NOT to do with it.

This broken machine isn't even good enough to be sold for parts! Super Giant Robot Brothers is yet another abominable case of style over substance. The writing is abysmal, the characters are annoying, the voice acting is grating, and the animation is very choppy. There isn't a single redeeming quality in this disasterous cartoon. As such, it deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Super Giant Robot Brothers! Don't even bother looking at the preview. Just stick to Transformers if you want your giant robot fix. Even Transformers on its worst day is better than Super Giant Robot Brothers on its best -.-

Bee and PuppyCat (2013–2018)

An Anime Inspired Migraine! 😡

[1/10 · 31 August 2023]

The preview for this show did a very bad job getting me hyped up for the show due to the main character sounding nothing like she was supposed to sound like based on her design and personality. Watching a good chunk of the first season proved my doubts justified as this is yet another disaster of animation. From the terrible writing to the headache inducing voice acting, this show does a great disservice to the medium it's trying to pay tribute to.

Created by Adventure Time alumni Natasha Allegri, the show follows the escapades of a young woman named Bee and her pet companion that's a mix between a puppy and a cat (hence the name). Each episode they go to different planets to perform a certain job and get paid for it, which helps pay rent and buy groceries. On paper, this sounds like a great idea where we get to explore different worlds in every episode, fight bad guys, and have lots of laughs. In execution, that is not even close to what we actually get! No, instead this is just a painfully sluggish slice of life cartoon that spends more time on Earth than it does on other planets! Not that the other plants are much better as they're all just generic hangout spots that don't feel lived in or exciting. One planet is just a bathhouse full of cats and another is just a kitchen floating in space. In addition to very bad world building, the show also has terrible pacing. These episodes go on and on focusing on uninteresting side characters, unfunny gags, and dull establishing shots. This makes the 26 minutes feel like an eternity and it became more and more difficult of me to not grab Bee by the shoulders and tell her "GET ON WITH IT!!!" The jokes also never land so much as a smirk as ut consists of obvious fart jokes, lousy puns and characters being less annoyed at annoying characters than the audience. For a show that's trying to be like anime, it fails at being as inviting or as engaging as your typical anime.

The characters in this show are so annoying and unlikable they make the cast of Apple and Onion tolerable by comparison. Starting with our titular heroine, Bee is a lazy, stupid, and apathetic woman who doesn't take her friends seriously and shows nothing but contempt for her boss. She also lacks any emotion or excitement for her job, making her feel like a slacker. Her companion, PuppyCat, is a selfish, overdramatic, and rude animal that free loads with Bee and only does his job when it's convenient for him. They both make the for a completely incompetent and lazy duo that would make even Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show groan in aggravation. Don't expect the supporting cast to be much better as they're all varying degrees of annoying and dull. Decarked is a nervous wreck, Cas is a deadpan neighbor, Cardamon is an emotionless child who acts as the landlord, TempBot is just there to give out assignments, and Toast is an annoying tramp that never blinking shuts up.

The voice acting is so bad, it actually give me a migraine the more I listen to it. Allyn Rachel sounds very monotone and apathetic as Bee, who really should've had a more bubbly and lively voice based on her design because it just takes me out otherwise. PuppyCat's voice is brought to life by the text-to-speech progam Oliver and I HATE IT! There are times where it's pitched way too high and my highly sensitive ears can't stand it! I think these too should've been voiced by Tara Strong, who would more than due these characters justice. TempBot is voiced by a different actress in every episode (such as Roz Ryan, Kathy Najimy, and Mariana Sirtis) and they're all fine but not great in the role. Kent Osborne sounded good...for a temp voice as Deckard. I feel as though Deckard needed to be voiced by someone who could better convey his stuttering and give him an actual personality. Ashley Burch was find as Cas, but again, nothing great. Alexander James Rodriguez sounded bored out of his mind voicing Cardamon, as if he was just reading his lines with an eye roll after each sentence. Terri Hawks just screams all of her lines as Toast and it gets very annoying very fast. I'm sure they were all trying their best, but the direction and material they were given just didn't do their talents justice.

The animation is the best part of the show, but that is not a compliment. Provided by OLM (the same animation studio that worked on Pokemon), the show has some solid character designs with the characters having round heads, colorful hair, and appropriate attire. The art direction also plays a key role in making the space and dream scenes feel magical and awe inspiring. The backgrounds are also very well detailed with Bee's apartment looking very cluttered and messy and the plants having a lot of different textures and styles to them. Where it falls apart, though, is in the actual character animation, particularly in the action and comedic scenes. The character move in a rather stiff and jagged way, making them look more like animatics than animation. Unlike Kid Cosmic, however, this wasn't intentional and it's just bad animation direction. The comedic gags don't land because too many frames are missing and the action scenes fall flat because the sense of scale and the mass is not make clear. The character might have good designs, but the actual animation doesn't do them justice.

I'm gonna need some asprin, an ice bag, and some relaxing music after sitting through this abomination! Bee and PuppyCat is one of the worst examples of style over substance I have ever seen! The writing is atrocious, the characters are hatable, the voice acting is terrible and the animation fails to do its character designs justice. If you're looking for a good anime inspired show, watch Steven Universe. That show does everything this show failed to do very well and you'll definitely feel glad you watched it. Bee and PuppyCat, meanwhile, deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Bee and PuppyCat! Don't even watch the preview! I can't stress enough how much better you time will be spent watching Steven Universe over this! -.-

Ninjago (2019–2022)

Masters of Nincompoopjitzu! 😡

[1/10 · 21 August 2023]

Back in 2011, Cartoon Network had the privilege of distributing a cartoon produced by multi-billion dollar toy company, Lego. That cartoon was Ninjago, which was pitched as an action packed show full of ninjas, snake people, dragons, and so much more. The show I made myself stomach through, though, was NOT as cool as the pitch lead me to believe. Instead of a fun cartoon with memorable characters, intense action and exquisite animation, what we have here is yet another disaster of a cartoon that fails not just as basic entertainment, but also as a commercial that does this brand of Lego justice.

Concocted in 2009, the show was developed by 19 people. No I'm not making this up. This show was developed by Thomas Sørensen, Tommy Andreasen, Thomas Kristensen, Simon Lucas, Nelson LaMonica, Menelaos Florides, William Stahl, Scott Godon-Decoteau, Maarten Simons, Michael Svane Knap, Toby Dutkiewicz, Brian Nielsen, Lars Danielsen, Tommy Kalmar, Cerim Manovi, Robert May, Heidi Rathschau Nielsen, Kevin Burke, and Chris 'Doc' Wyatt. With this army of a development team, you'd think they'd have no trouble fleshing out this world, the characters, and mapping out the action while having plenty of time to develop side plots, establish character arcs, and nail the comedy aspect of the show. Oh brother, do I got bad news for you! Despite having more than enough people running the show, the end result of Lego's hired brain trust was a terribly made kids show! I knkw you're thinking I'm being harsh because I said this show had ninjas, snake people and dragons. However, that was what they advertised in the commercials for this show. The actual premise of the show is were the problems immediately start. Stop me if you've heard this one before: under the tutelage of their wise, old master, 4 teenagers must learn to master the art of ninjitzu to stop an evil overlord in dark armor from wreaking havoc on innocent people. Ring any bells?! That's right, this show is just a carbon copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! There are way too many similarities between the 2 to be coincidental. The wise, old master speaks in riddles, the big bad is an evil overlord with black armor, one of the ninjas has a temper, they ride in an armored vehicle and so on! Sure, they're different enough to avoid a lawsuit from Paramount, but that's still no excuse to blatantly copy someone else's homework like that. And it doesn't even do a good job at that because the writing is absolutely terrible. Each episode follows the formulaic plot of the characters trying to learn a lesson while fighting evil. These lessons range from "working together" "steadying your mind" "the dangers of spreading rumors," all stuff we've heard before and done better. This is also yet another infuriating example of "tell, don't show!" I am so sick and tired of having to explain this, but I'm obligated too or else I'm being complacent, which I hate! Telling the audience the backstory or unseen events rather than showing them is UNACCEPTABLE! Especially with the medium of animation, which is a visual medium and as such you should take full advantage of visual storytelling instead of having the characters constantly talk about stuff we'd rather see! Due to the expository dialogue, the pacing is painfully slow with the inciting incident taking forever to happen, and by the time it does happen, there's only several minutes left in the episodes. That's a major problem because these episodes are 22 minutes long! Most of the runtime is spent on boring exposition, unfunny gags, and lackluster world building. There's an episode that's mostly about the characters trying to figure out the answer to their master's riddle, when it's so painfully obvious my dog could've figured it out: and she's DEAD! To future writers, take note as this is exactly what NOT to do when pacing your story!

As stupidly similar this show is to TMNT, the biggest difference between them is while that franchise has likable and memorable characters, this show does NOT! By Yoda's pointy ears are these some incompetent and detestable ninjas! All they do is argue about who's gonna be the Green Ninja, don't take their master seriously, and chatter on like parrots in a room full of howler monkeys! Kai is the arrogant, hot tempered ninja (cough *Raphael* cough), Jay is the brainy chatterbox ninja (cough *Donatello* cough), Zane is the more level headed yet naive ninja (cough *Leonardo* cough) and Cole is the jokester of the quartet (cough *Michaelangelo* cough). Together, they are 4 quarters of a whole idiot that don't follow orders, don't have good chemistry with one another, and don't even have common sense! Master Splinter- I mean Shifu- I mean Yoda- I mean Miyagi-I mean Wu...Kenobi, is yet another old man that speaks in riddles and doesn't have real authority or respect from his students. Nya's the tech girl who's often shafted because Heaven forbid we have a strong female character in this show. The snake people are varying degrees of annoying, one-dimensional bad guys who want to take over the world because it'd be foolish not too in this awfully generic kids show.

Then there's this show's main antagonist, Lord Garmadon. He's so sinister, cold and ruthless, he easily puts every other bad giy in this show to shame...IF HE WAS ACTUALLY IN THIS STUPID SHOW! For all the talk about how reviled and evil he is, he doesn't even appear in the first season save for a dream sequence, which was just terrible as it made him look like a wimp. You know who's the actual antagonist of this show?! His snot nosed son born out of wedlock, Lloyd! Lloyd is such an annoying little twerp who would've made for a funny one off side villain while the ninjas fight a REAL threat, but because he's this show's central antagonist, his presence just makes me want to turn this show off! Lloyd is nothing but a spoiled, annoying little twerp that makes the snake people do petty, childish crimes when they could be, you know? Actually terrorizing people?! And the fact that he's not only a main stay, but eventually becomes a main character of the show just makes me hate him even more!

The voice acting just isn't that good, mainly due to weak material and bad direction. Vincent Tong sounded underwhelming as Kai, not really buying that he's meant to be the hot tempered one. Michael Adamthwaite sounded like her was trying to give Jay a voice crack when he speaks, and it just cane off as annoying. Brent Miller sounded too monotone as Zane, almost to the point where he might as well be a robot. The late Kirby Morrow wasn't particularly funny as Cole and he didn't really sound as enthusiastic as I would've hoped. Kelly Metzger sounded rather conflicted as Nya, like she wasn't sure what voice she should use for the character so it alternates between bubbly and serious. Paul Dobson was just awful as Master Wu, like he doesn't sound even remotely Japanese or even as a wise, humble old man. Rather he sounds like a middle aged man impersonating an old woman and it just does not fit. Jillian Michaels is really the only actress that's doing a good job here as she made Lloyd sound like just like a boy who's so full of himself and realishes in it. All the snake people either sound annoying, stupid or both depending on the characters and I'd prefer they sound more like dastardly cartoon bad guys than have attributes of snake like quirks for their voices.

The animation is the worst part of this show as it not only looks terrible but it also fails as an advertisement for the toy line. Brought to life by Wil Film ApS, the designs of the characters were clearly based on the toys they were planning to sell with the classic blocky bodies, the clothes looking like they were painted on and their limbs being separate pieces. Unlike in previous Lego animated projects, though, the what they characters move is very uncanny and ruins the illusion. The characters move more like they're made of clay rather than solid plastic and as such it comes across as unnatural blob-like. It gets worse when the characters start fighting and oh brother, do I have some choice words for these scenes! First of all, the lack of mass on these characters is painfully obvious. Second of all, the impact of each hit feel like being pelted with a cottonball. Third, and this is the biggest sin, the actual spinjitzu is LAME! The characters spin in a brightly colored tornado and just knock the bad guys over! This makes the main sellinv point of the show look so lame and unengaging. Why would I want to knock my enemies down with a tornado move when I can just do that with a regular punch or kick? The backgrounds are also very flat and vacant, making the land of Ninjago very empty and visually displeasing. It'd be one thing to be a badly animated cartoon, but for a cartoon that's also a commercial for a toy line, this is INEXCUSABLE!

I'm glad I didn't watch this while it was on TV because I guarantee you I would've dropped it like a hat after 1 episode! Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu is another terrible cartoon that fails at EVERYTHING! The writing is terrible, the characters are detestable, the animation is abysmal and voice acting is stale at best! And to add salt in a fresh wound this doesn't even make for a good toy commercial as it did a terrible job selling its main gimmick with its terrible animation and awful action scenes. As such, it deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment this bad: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Ninjago! Don't even bother daring yourself to sit through all 15 seasosns as I guarantee you it's not gonna get any better! This is a Lego set that should be tossed in the incinerator! -.-

Harvey Girls Forever! (2018–2020)

The Kids Are All WRONG! 😡

[1/10 · 17 August 2023]

In my seemingly never ending search for a good modern cartoon, Harvey Street Kids peaked my curiosity as a Netflix show that was a decent match for me based on my interests. Yet watching the first episode proved to be as excruciating as climbing a mountain of stairs. Everything that makes the cartoon exist before me is handled so poorly it makes me feel bad for die hard fans of the original source material who were expecting a worthy adaptation and were crushed by the execution.

Created by Emily Brundige and based on the Harvey Girls comic series, this show follows to misadventures of 3 girls in the eponymous neighborhood. It should've been a cake walk to make a really funny and fleshed out cartoon out of this premise. Unfortunately, this is about as funny as a mutilated monkey getting maced! Like nearly every show I've reviewed this year, this show commits the egregious sin of "tell, don't show" as it gives a long winded exposition dump about how this world works. Nothing is left up to the visuals to tell the story as there's this constant need for the characters to explain everything, from how they know each other, to how the trading tree works, to why they like their favorite toys and so on! This show also has very formulaic plots, so much so you don't even need me to finish the sentence that describes the synopsis to know how it ends. The first episode has the girls help a boy get in a tree house- STOP! The girls use the trading tree- STOP! The girls stay up all night- STOP! Because these plots leave nothing to the imagination, the 11 minute runtime of each episode feels like time slows down around you. What makes the writing even worse is the the severe lack of funny comedy. The puns are obvious, the gags are tired, and the slapstick is criminally weak. I can't for the life off me find a good reason to call this anything but inexcusable writing!

These characters give the gremlins from Thugaboo a run for their money in being some of the worst "kids" in animation history! Starting with our leading ladies, Audrey, Lotta and Dot are an annoying trio of derivative archetypes that have no distinct personalities of their own other than being the most unlikable and idiotic girls in the show. Audrey is the self-centered leader of the pack whose plans backfire in her face and is very obnoxious. Dot is the persnickey brains of the group who tries and fails to be the voice of reasons. Lotta is the big, dumb, muscle of the group that says random things at random times while also being too stupid to turn bread into toast even if the instructions were on the crust. Does that all sound remotely familiar? It should, because these girls are just genderswapped worst versions of Ed, Edd and Eddy! Not only are they conceptually unoriginal, they're also downright despicable in execution as their attempts to make the neighborhood a better place only make things worse. Don't expect anyone else in this show to be much better as Melvin's the typical obnoxious twerp, Pinkeye is a walking unfunny gross out gag, Tiny is the short twerp with an annoying voice, and Frufru is a narcissistic spoiled brat.

You think these characters are bad enough?! Just wait until they open their fat mouths and sound absolutely NOTHING like kids! They don't even sound like exaggerated versions of their personality types in kid form like the Eds, Fanboy and Chum-Chum, or the cast of Jimmy Neutron. No, they all just sound like adults going through the motions and it always takes me out of the illusion. Stephanie Lemelin sounds like a middle aged woman who works at a grocery store and always sounds like she's in a bad mood. Lauren Lapkus sounds more like a nasally teen not unlike Kate Micucci as Velma and not at all hammed up or memorable. Kelly McCreary sounds very wooden and bored, as if she has next to no experience as a voice actress and isn't sure how to convincingly sound like a smart little girl. Atticus Shaffer sounds really good...if he was playing a teenagerbor young adult instead of a mid around 10 years old. Danny Pudi is the worst actor here as he sounds like a man who doesn't like kids putting on a faux kid voice to show how annoying he thinks they are. Grey Griffin is the only one at least trying with the material she's given, but even then her voice is nothing we haven't heard from her before here. This show makes a strong case for why you should NOT hire actors who either don't know how to voice kids or who are too compliant with awful voice direction!

Not even the animation is worthy of a smidgen of praise as this is some of the worst from DreamWorks Animation yet. The character designs are very unappealing with fat heads, eyes that take up too much space, flat attire and generic hair styles. The character animation is restricted to their character models and they lack any interesting facial expressions. There's also a severe lack of shadows and shading, which makes the characters lack depth. The backgrounds are also too simply looking with some scenes only having one color overpower everything else. This neighborhood also feels hollow as you don't see any adults around and the backgrounds don't have much going on when the characters are in the foreground. DreamWorks Animation normally has great animation when it comes to their movies. Their television division, though, tends to look flat and lifeless like this because Heaven forbid they cough up a little extra dough to make the animation look good.

I expected very little going in and what I got was absolutely abysmal! Harvey Street Kids is an abomination of animation and easily the worst show DreamWorks has ever produced. The writing is atrocious, the characters are detestable, the animation is abhorrent and the voice acting is some of the worst I've ever heard. On its own 2 feet it's a travesty, but as an introduction to Harvey Girls, it's even worst! Now I could care less what these characters are like in the comics because this show failed to get me hooked on these characters and their pathetic attempts to make their neighborhood great! As such, it more than deserves the worst fate imaginable for a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Harvey Street Kids! Don't even bother making the same mistake I made and watching the preview on Netflix. Save yourself the trouble and just watch Ed, Edd n Eddy. The girls might not be good in that show, but the first episode of that show alone blows this entire cartoon out of the water! -.-

Ollie's Pack (2020– )

The Infuriating Chosen One! 😡

[1/10 · 10 August 2023]

Back in 2020, I thought the first episode of Ollie's Pack was a very bad first impression to a show that needed a little more time to find its footing. Watching a few more episodes on Paramount+, I realize just how stupid I was to give this show the benefit of the doubt! Whatever potential this show had was squashed, flatten and set on fire by its horrendous execution! From the awful writing to the infuriating main character, this is yet another prime example of how NOT to make a cartoon for children!

Created by Pedro Eboli and Graham Peterson, this show follows a young boy who's chosen to protect a sacred backpack, that's actually an interdimensional doorway, from evil monsters with the help of his friends. You'd think this show would dedicate ample time to establishing why Ollie was chosen to be the protector of the pack, who created the pack, and what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands. And does this show do that? OF COURSE NOT!!! Instead it handwaves the origin story in its "tell, don't show" intro and makes the pack nothing more than a regular backpack with the interdimmensional doorway being the only perk! I've said it before and I'll say it again: this is UNACCEPTABLE WRITING! By not taking ample time to build the world and show the origin of the MacGuffen, you immediately rob your audience of getting invested of the story you want to tell! You also rob the sense of urgency in the conflict because besides the interdimensional doorway, there's nothing about the pack that makes it dangerous in the wrong hands. Say what you will about the Transformers movies overuse of the MacGuffen trope, at least that spend time establishing the importance of the MacGuffens and what could happen if the Decepticons get their claws on them. Ollie's Pack is less concerned with its world building and more concerned with being a painfully slow and unfunny cartoon. You've seen the "no rules" plot, you've seen the "enviable new hero" plot, you've seen the "non-human character being cool in school" plot, you've basically seen every plot of each episode in this show. This show doesn't do any of these plots better or even well for that matter. It just goes through the motions playing the expected story beats and as such it makes the 11 minute runtime feel like 11 years! The humor is also beyond unfunny with tired puns, weak slapstick, pointless cutaway gags, and groan worthy gross out. This isn't your every day bad writing: this is INEXCUSABLY bad writing!

There's not a single character here that I wouldn't toss in the empty void if given the chance. Starting with our titular excrement wipe (I refuse to call him a hero -.-), Ollie is yet another infuriating main character that would rank very high in my Top 10 Worst Cartoon Main Characters list on Tumblr! He's such a selfish, spoiled, lazy, whiny, annoying and stupid brat that shouldn't even be the main character, much less the chosen one. He's also such at terrible friend, he makes Rigby from Regular Show look like Tails from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. Cleo and Bernie are often gaslighted, guilt-tripped, manipulated and thrown under the bus by Ollie, yet they STILL hangout with him?! I'd feel more sorry for them if they were more interesting characters. Alas, they're just parrots with no interesting personalities of their own. Captain Wowski is such a terrible conscience and mentor, he might as well just not be in the show. Then there's vice principal Magna, who's the typical selfish and arrogant authority figure that makes school feel like a prison with a strict "no fun" policy. How is it that it's 2023 and we're STILL portraying school faculty members as people who hate their jobs and hate fun? None of the monsters they face are anything to write home about either as they're all just generic villains of the week with weak motivations and non-threatening tactics.

The voice acting is just awful, as if the director forbid any of the actors from going anywhere above unenthusiastic. James Harnett sounded very weak as Ollie, making him sound more like a tired teenager than an easy going kid. Corey Doran gave Captain Wowski a generic mid-30s mle voice when he should sounded older and wiser. David Berni sounded very bored as Bernie, ditto Ana Sani as Cleo. Ned Petri just sounded apathetic and unengaging as Magna. I'm sure they were all trying their best with the material they were given, but what they desperately needed was a better voice director.

The animation is yet another casualty of this show's awful quality. This is some of Nelvana's worst animation in recent memory. The characters look very generic looking with simple body shapes, crooked looking noses, and basic clothing attire. The vice principal also somewhat resembles disgraced animator Chris Savino, but with glasses. Intentional or not, someone on the production crew should've spoken up and change this design immediately because it's implying the creators excuse Savino's toxicity enough to base a character off of him. Gross. There's also a severe lack of shadows and shading, which makes the designs lack depth, especially in action scenes. Speaking off, they are some of the worst action scenes I've seen in a cartoon as the characters don't have any mass to them, the cinematography is basic at best and due to the lack of urgency, there's just no rhyme or reason to them. The backgrounds are pretty well detailed with the forest, school and Ollie's house feeling lived in and expansive. The other dimensions we see don't look nearly as interesting though as they have flat colors and not nearly as much detail. It's very unfortunate the best thing I can say about the animation is the backgrounds, for the most part, look alright; and that's barely a compliment, if you can even call it that.

Nick made the right call not picking this show up as a Nicktoon, but shot themselves in the foot by agreeing to distribute it. Ollie's Pack is an infuriatingly terrible cartoon that fails at every aspect! The writing is unacceptably bad, the characters are infuriating, the voice acting is stale, the animation is mediocre and it's not even close to funny. This is on par with my early short stories from when I was a teenager: poorly concocted, rushed, and painfully slow. It most certainly deserves the worst fate to bestow on a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Ollie's Pack! Don't even bother thinking "well it can't be that bad." I can confirm that it can and it only gets worse the longer you watch! Save yourself the trouble and don't even bother looking into this stupid show -.-

Hailey's on It! (2023–2024)

A Disgrace to Disney! 😡

[1/10 · 3 July 2023]

I already didn't have high hopes for Hailey's On It based of the trailer. It didn't look much better than the recent string of awful cartoons from the Mouse House's television division. That said, I wanted to give it a chance to see if maybe it's actually better than what its trailer lead me to believe. Unfortunately, that is not even close to the case. Rather than be a surprisingly funny show with creative visuals and lovable characters (you know, like Disney is usually known for?) Hailey's On It is the rare Disney project that fails at EVERYTHING! This cartoon is so bad that not even Walt Disney himself would want anything to do with it!

Created by David Bunje and Nick Stanton, this show is about a girl who must complete everything on here to-do list to save the world. Yes, I am for real. That sentence that sounds like it was hastily put together during the pitch is the actual premise of the show. If you think it's better in execution, THINK AGAIN! Right from the word go, this show has never even heard of the concept of "show, don't tell" because it is just a landfill of exposition. They explain EVERY single moment in the story from who the characters are, what happens in the future, even the explanation for a visual gag! WHO DOES THAT?! It's like the creators felt that if they didn't explain everything in the first episode, the audience will get confused. If that's the case, they're horrible at their jobs as storytellers because nobody gives a hoot about that stuff! It's also monumentally insulting to assume you're audience wouldn't be able to process visual storytelling like they're babies! Not only does this show fail at writing 101, but it's also not the least bit funny with the jokes being very predictable and, again, the gags being explained to the audience. A psychotic clown once said, "If you have to explain the joke, then there IS no joke!" I know not every pitch is gonna be a winner, but I feel sorry for every single pitch that was rejected over this!

In bad television, there are 2 types of bad characters you don't want to associate yourself with: an annoying chatterbox and a bumbling imbecile. Hailey Banks is BOTH! She constantly lies about kissing Scott, she broke into an aquarium to save a squid, she undermines Beta at every turn, and she's envious of Kristine. But the worst part about her is SHE NEVER SHUTS THE FLOP UP!!! Most of the exposition in this show comes from her because she can't remain silent for more than a nanosecond! She goes on and on about what her life is like, why she doesn't want to kiss Scott, why she doesn't like trying new things, why she doesn't like Kristine. Like, lady! SHUT THE FREAK UP!!! Shut up! Oh my GROP do I not care! No one else is even remotely likable. Scott is the annoying comic relief who Hailey's has feeling for (they fall in love, have drama and work it out by the end of the series. Been there, done that), Beta is an annoying robot that's often inconvenienced, and Kristine is yet another spoiled brat with a following. "bUt ShE's So NiCe" Bull fertilizer! The way she talks and acts around Hailey and Scott is clearly just a front so she can get what she wants. I don't buy for 1 second that she was honestly glad Hailey came back to the Zero Graviton. She just wanted another opportunity to humilate her for easy clout! But sure, she's an oh so precious little angel.

The voice acting isn't very good, to be honest. Auli'i Carvalho didn't sound nearly as enthusiastic or as emotionally resonate as Hailey as her more famous Disney role, Moana. Manny Jacinto wasn't very convincing as Scott as he wasn't funny and didn't sound very interesting. Gary Anthony Williams, try as he might, just can't make Beta sound like a funny or helpful A. I.. Amanda Leighton didn't sound right as Kristine as she was rather flat and didn't convey much emotion. The actors are certainly trying, but the script and vocal direction just aren't doing them any favors.

The animation is fine, though nothing we haven't seen done better in previous Disney shows. In collaboration with Rough Draft Studios and Saerom Animation, Disney produced a cartoon that, at least, has the appearance of a Disney cartoon. The characters have big expressive eyes, very unique and stylish clothes and distinct hair styles. It was also a nice touch to give Hailey a gap in her teeth. The character animation, though, is rather plane with the characters mostly staying on model, the mass of each character not being made clear and the body movements just being simple and easy to animate. The biggest problem with the animation is the direction as it's mostly just character being stationary while giving out boring exposition. The backgrounds are very well detailed and have a vibrant color pallet. The animation isn't bad, but Disney has had better character animation and better animation direction in their previous works.

It took them long enough, but Disney finally made a cartoon that's on par with Mars Needs Moms in terms of quality! The characters are annoying, the voice acting is stale, the humor doesn't exist, and the writing is boat loads of exposition dumped onto the audience. Sure the animation is fine, but by Disney standards it's not great and by my standards it's not nearly good enough to spare this show from the worst fate you can give to a piece of entertainment: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Hailey's On It! Don't even bother looking at the trailer! There's a whole bunch of movies and TV shows on Disney+ you can watch that a much more worth your time than this animated abomination! -.-

Dogs in Space (2021– )

Stupid Space Dog! -.-

[2/10 · 30 June 2023]

It shouldn't be too much to ask for a cartoon to be mildly amusing, especially one that features dogs treking the galaxy. Yet Dogs In Space doesn't ev3n come close to such expectations and falls face first onto the floor. From the awful writing to the mediocre animation, this show makes cleaning up after a dog feel like going to Disney World.

Created by Jeremiah Cortez, the show follows a crew of dogs treking the galaxy to find a new home for their human owners. This proves to be a very difficult mission as when alien monsters aren't trying to kill them, their grossly incompetent captain is! Right of the bat this show has a serious writing problem. Each episode follows the repeated formula of the crew barely getting out alive because their captain is such an under qualified moron! The crew nearly gets killed in every episode from some alien monster, which gets old and tiring very fast. The show also bypasses the backstory in the intro, which is an inexcusable writing mistake that made me feel like the creators didn't think the audience would care about the how, the who, or the why. News flash: we do! Because without that important piece of context, we don't care enough about the mission to root for the main characters to succeed. Lastly, the humor absolutely sucks! Most of the jokes are tired puns, groan worthy gags, and lousy gross out. This is exactly what NOT to do when writing a show; if I wanted to be told what's happening in the story, I'd listen to a podcast!

If this crew is supposed to be humanity's last hope, we're royally doomed. Starting with our leading pooch, Captain Garb- stop! Stop! Stop! No no no no! What the fruit salad on a Friday is this?! Of the millions of different names to call a dog, his owner chose GARBAGE?! That's got to be some form of animal cruelty because no one in their right mind should call a dog or ANY animal "garbage!" Anyway, Captain Cruelly Named By His Awful Owner is the moronic, self-centered leader of the crew who never learns anything, constantly puts his crew in danger, and never blinking shuts his half-wit snot! Did I mention he's freaking stupid?! He's easily one of the worse cartoon characters from a Netflix show and it would honestly make the show better if he wasn't in it! If you're expecting the other crew mates to be much better, think again! Stella is the strict and bossy second in command, Nomi is as annoying as a dog barking at nothing, Loaf is a nervous wreck, Ed is a narcissist, Chonies is skiddish tech guy (who's name is slang for underwear, btw), and Kira is the feral dog who isn't familiar with advanced technology. None of them are remotely interesting beyond their one personality trait and they're all interchangeable as the show progresses.

I can't help but feel bad for the cast because they're all doing good voice work with such lackluster material. Haley Joel Osment did a really good job as Captain His Owner Must've Grown Up In Stupid Town I Swear. He makes this idiotic pooch sound chipper, optimistic and friendly. Sarah Chalke made Stella sound brave and reasonable, Kimiko Glenn sounded very eccentric as Nomi, David Lopez sounded zany as Chonies, and William Jackson Harper sounded like he was having a blast playing Loaf. Chris Parnell was fine as Ed, though I couldn't help but just hear Doug from Family Guy. I know this must've just been another job for them (gotta put bread on the table somehow), but they still did very good work here.

The animation isn't very good, which is unfortunate as it's provided by Atomic Cartoons, who provided animaton for 8 episodes of Hilda. The characters resemble their real life dog counterparts very well and their fur is very colorful. However, I think their facial expressions are inconsistent. One character just has dots for eyes and another has irises. Just pick one and stick with it, otherwise it's just confusing. Another problem with the designs is the mouths aren't drawn well as sometimes they're not aligned with the snout and other times they disappear when the character is supposed to be smiling. The characters also lack mass, which is important to show how big some characters are to others. It also helps make the action feel more intense, which as is feels very underwhelming. I will say though that the backgrounds look incredible with the ships and planets having a great amount of detail in the sceneray. It's not all bad, but it's not very good either.

Bad show! Bad! Bad show! Dogs In Space is one of the worst cartoons I had the displeasure of watching on Netflix. The animation is mediocre, the characters are unlikable, the writing is atrocious and the humor is nonexistent. It also has one of the worse names for a main character I've ever seen. If it was intentional, thanks I hate it! Just like I hate this stupid show! If you want to see a good show about dogs, watch Bluey. Yeah, I said it! I don't care if it was meant for preschoolers, hit has far more entertainment value than this show ever dreams of having -.-

Middlemost Post (2021–2022)

Cumulonimbecile 😠

[3/10 · 27 April 2023]

The latest cartoon from Nickelodeon, Middlemost Post seems like it could fit in with the network's library of wacky cartoons. Upon watching the show, however, I find this to be among the worst shows Nickelodeon has to offer. From the awful writing to the annoying characters, this is a package that should've never left the mail room.

Created by John Trabbic III, Middlemost Post follows the escapades of a happy-go-lucky main character with his dimwitted friend, his cost cutting boss, and a deadpan neighbor as they try and brighten everyone's day with excellent service while also foiling the plans of a short, green, arrogant antagonist. Sound familiar?! It should because this show has almost the exact same set up as Nickelodeon's flagship cartoon, SpongeBob! The creators either didn't realize the similarities or didn't care. Either way, this makes the show come off as a shameless rip-off like Coconut Fred before it. Execution-wise, there are differences, but the biggest difference between the two is SpongeBob has a good execution and Middlemost Post does NOT! Each episode is just 11 minutes of the characters doing the most mundane stuff and it drags the pacing to a crawl. Want to see characters wait in line for some toast? Or characters racing a robot that cheats? Or better yet, characters trying to get across a curmudgeon's front lawn full of traps? No? Well that's too dang bad! That's exactly what you're getting with this show. Common sense is thrown out the window along with good world building and funny jokes. This world isn't well explored or fleshed out and the inhabitants are a bunch of mindless sheep. Then there's the humor, which is painfully unfunny as it relies heavily on gross out, butt jokes and obvious subversions. This show was already fighting a losing battle by being too similar to SpongeBob, but it lost my interest immediately because it's not even a well written show on it's own.

The characters are so annoying, sitting in a room full of woodpeckers would be more enjoyable. Starting with our leading cloud, Parker is a happy-go-lucky kid who likes doing good and helping others. While that sounds like he's a likable character, in practice his a loud, annoying and stupid twerp that's overdramatic about the smallest issues and values his boss' opinion way too much. Speaking off his boss, Angus is the rule abiding captain that Parker worships. He's also unfunny, not assertive, stubborn and pretty stupid. And the fact that he wastes an entire episode staring off into space while assuming the worst that could happen without his beanie makes me like him less as a character. Russell is the dimwitted walrus that has all the mail in her gut, Lily is a deadpan shop keeper whose personality begins and ends with her monotone voice, Miss Pam is the snarky owner of the local dinner, and Mayor Peeve is an evil politician that tries and fails to get rid of the Middlemost Post because his ego forbids him to get a life.

The voice acting is pretty good, though it could be better. Becky Robinson puts on a very convincing boyish voice, though I'd direct her to give a little more energy in her performance. John DiMaggio was excellent as Angus, making him sound gruff but friendly in his delivers. Kiren's monotone voice works for Lily, but I think she needs more voice acting practice to really go above and beyond what's expected. Colton Dunn did a good job voicing Peeve, though his voice could've been a little more gruff. While the voice acying isn't bad, it could use better voice direction.

Visually, this show has some really good animation provided by Yowza! Animation in collaboration with Nick. The character designs are very well crafted with them having different body times, big expressive mouths and appropriate attire. I really like how Parker and morph into anything at will and the animators do a really good job at showcasing his morphing powers. The character animation follows very natural with great use if squash and stretch and really good visual effects. The backgrounds are also very well detailed with the ship and the town looking like it has history and all the lands looking very distinct from one another. It's not enough to save the show, but the animation is still really good.

It'd be one thing if this show was just bad, but this show goes a step further and is shamelessly bad! Middlemost Post is a shameless SpongeBob rip-off with awful writing, annoying characters, and atrocious humor. Even with good animation and voice acting, this is still inferior in every way to the Sponge. You're better off just watching every episode of SpongeBob twice than sitting through one second of Middlemost Post -.-

The Owl House (2020–2023)

The Simpleton's Apprentice -.-

[3/10 · 13 April 2023]

It's not every day where a cartoon from Disney develops a passionate fanbase as much as The Owl House. It's familiar but brilliant concept of a normal girl going into a strange world to learn magic was more than reason enough for Disney to give the green light. Unfortunately, after sitting through some episodes, I see this as yet another misfire from the Mouse House's television division. From the awful writing to the annoying characters, this show has more in common with a frustrating curse than an enchanting spell.

Created by Dana Terrence, the show follows a girl named Luz in the magical world where she falls under the tutelage of an outlaw witch. While learning magic she also learns about the world she inhabits and the creatures within. This show should be rife with world building, magical adventures and clever gags. But is that what I got? Nope! What this show does is roughly scratch the surface of this world while most of the focus is on Luz trying to solve problems her idiot teacher causes! There's barely enough time dedicated to how this world functions or how the inhabitants live their lives. As such this place just feels hollow and boring. Speaking of boring, by George H. W. Bush's hip are these episodes slow! They all have predictable stories such as trying not to get caught in school or a monster "mystery" plot and the endings are so obvious, it's just a slog to sit through. Not to mention that this is just not funny. The jokes are mostly tired puns, drawn out commentary on cliches and very weak slapstick. There's clearly no sign of magic in this show about magic, and that angers me as a writer who loves fantasy.

I don't know why there are 3 Disney cartoons with an annoying as heck main character, but oh my word I hate it! Our leading lady, Luz, is, get this: an annoying chatterbox that gets into trouble and doesn't learn jack, diddly or squat! Sure, she's enthusiastic about learning magic, but she goes on and on about how that's her lot in life because everyone thinks she's a weirdo back on Earth. Her teacher, Eda, is (to put it delicately) a blooming idiot! She withholds vital information to Luz, doesn't keep an eye on her when she wanders off, is often too tired or lazy to teach her basic spells and makes her cheat during a witches dual, which could've gotten her killed! She's so irresponsible that her lessons come out as shallow. King is a small creature that demands respect but is never given any because 1. He's annoying and 2. He's the size of a cat and just as fluffly. Other characters that leave much to be desired include Willow, the typical insecure girl (if she had an actual personality, she'd be a WAY better protagonist than Luz), Gus, a fan boy of humans and Hooty, the personified door knocker with an annoying voice.

Then there's Amity, this show's designated mean girl. She's rude, selfish, privileged, and very snobbish. But what's worse? Latter in the show, she and Luz start to have feeling for one another. Oh turn yourself into a bee and BUZZ OFF! Toxic relationships are not, nor should not, be accepted as anything more than a toxic relationship. I discourage anyone from trying to make a bully and their victim an item because intentionally or not you're reinforcing a dangerous stereotype that if someone picks on you, that means they like you. I'm aware people ship these two, but I personally don't even want them in the same room together.

The voice acting is pretty good, considering the actors are being directed by Eden Riegel. Sarah-Nicole Robbles did a really good job voicing Luz, making her sound very enthusiastic and chipper. Wendie Malick's sassy middle aged woman voice was very fitting for the character of Eda and it was a treat to hear her voice in a cartoon since the 2000s. Alex Hirsh, creator of Gravity Falls, gave King an innocent be enthusiastic voice. His voice for Hooty, though, was particularly annoying and I with he had a much calmer voice for the character. Mae Whitman sounded very snobbish and perky as Amity. Tati Gabrielle sounded very sweet as Willow. Issac Raymond Brown sounded very chipper as Gus. I'd also like to give a shout out to Game Grumps co-host Arin Hanson for voicing several characters in the show and making them all sound unique. For the most part the voice acting is good, but it could've been a little better in my opinion.

Unsurprisingly, the animation looks great thanks to the collaboration of Disney, Rough Draft, Summin Image Pictures and Sugarcube Animation. The characters all have very distinct yet appealing designs, such as King's skull head with his big magenta eyes coming out or Eda's frizzy grey hair where she keeps a bunch of stuff in. Luz's design is good but has an unappealing design flaw with the way her mouth is drawn. It makes her look like a discount Simpsons characters, which is infamous for its unappealing character designs. The creatures in this magically world have excellent designs with not one of them looking similar to another. I especially like the look of the abominations, which are ally goopy and malleable. The backgrounds are also very well crafted with a wide array of warm collors, exquisite detail and lovely effects. Once again Disney has shown that, whether the writing is with them or not, they're still able to provide some of the best animation on television.

Once again, Disney is making a very bad case to watch their TV cartoons! The Owl House is another badly made cartoon with abysmal writing, nonexistent humor and annoying characters. Sure the animation and voice acting are good despite their flaws, but that isn't enough to salvage this disappointing concoction. I think you're better off watching something like Onward or W. I. T. C. H. To get your magical Disney cartoon fix than here. This is about as unpleasant as watching an actual owl barf up what it ate -.-