filipsalapa Reviews

The Hunt (II) (2020)

Now THIS is what I call FUN.

[10/10 · 22 March 2020]

Now I am writing this review so that someone who is like me doesn't miss one out. I have read a couple of reviews here and I was under the impression, that this movie might be similar to "Guns Akimbo" which I truly despised. Bu, thankfully this is completely different.

This film is off the hook entirely. Expect the unexpected. Prepare for nothing.

Just sight back, relax and let this film do it's thing.

I haven't had this much pure fun since "Shoot 'em up".

10/10.

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Don't get fooled.

[2/10 · 2 March 2020]

This is not Upgrade. This is not Crank.

This is garbage.

I went into watching this with an open mind, wanting to get a bit of laughs and thrills, given the fact that this sort of movie type has been done before, I was hoping for this to be sort of good. But boy was I wrong!

This film does not have a clue what it wants to be.. be it comedy, action, drama, quasi-comic adaptation. It's none of the above. It's boring, repetitive, badly acted, the CGI is laughable and the action scenes pull you out of the movie.

Please, don't watch this. It is NOT good. It's not even "sso bad it's good" bad.

It's just a waste of time.

Upgrade (2018)

Stem? Are you there?

[10/10 · 11 November 2018]

Now that is what I call a joyride of a movie!! I just finished watching this little gem of a film and I really, really must share this with everyone who is curious about "Upgrade". This film is brilliant! First of all, I will get the bad things out of the way - I do feel, that this movie would benefit from being a bit on the longer side to bring more of substance to the main characters, especially the female detective and the main character. THAT'S IT. That's all that there is bad about the movie, because the rest: the visuals, the acting, the music and so on and so forth - it is all brilliant. The ending sent shivers down my spine and I haven't felt that since I watched Babadook!!!!!

Do yourself a favour and go and see "Upgrade"! You will not be disappointed.

The Foreigner (I) (2017)

One of the best films ever made - period.

[10/10 · 30 November 2017]

That was unexpected. This film was way, way better than any other film I had seen this whole year, and I had seen plenty. Even this year's blockbusters have nothing, and I do mean - *nothing* - on "The Foreigner".

This film has complex plot, wonderful and suspenseful music, great cinematography and fantastic actors in it playing very distinct characters. Everything about this film is of high quality and it reminds me of the best films of the thriller genre of the 80s and 90s except "The Foreigner" is free of clichés.

This film screams of greatness and everyone should watch it, be it Jackie Chan fans or not.

I do not want to write anything more but go and pay to watch it.

It is worth every dime.

10/10

The Circle (I) (2017)

I never thought that I would see acting this bad in a movie with cast full of A-listers.

[3/10 · 5 July 2017]

Hallfway through the movie I was being left with a feeling that all of the actors (with few exceptions) were put there as a punishment. Mae's parents did a fine job, Bill Paxton was amazing (which goes to show that a great actor CAN make a difference in a weak movie) but the rest was just appalling. The dialogue between Mercer and Mae in the Circle's lobby was dreadful and cringe-worthy. I could not even look at how disconnected it all felt. Like I was watching outtakes from a different set. None of it was cohesive enough for me to even watch the film and feel for the characters.

I don't like writing reviews, I really don't. This one however made me do it. Emma is a terrible actress, in this film she really excels at being mediocre at best. Sure, part of it might go to the writing and directing, but there has to be some sort of engagement from the actor into the role. In Emma I saw none. And when the movie solely focuses on the lead character's actions, for her to be THIS "meh", makes this movie a "meh" movie.

I gave it a 3 out of 10 for good production values, decent music and for Mr. Paxton. Without him, it would have been rated 2 out of 10.

Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017)

Why watch a Let's Play when you can watch this instead - I loved it!

[9/10 · 27 June 2017]

This movie is just as good as a video game. It is not trying to look any better or any different than anything made to this day. Sure, the characters are maybe not so multi faceted but you do not need them to be. When you have played more recent RE titles you know that they are highly focused on animations and cut scenes. The gameplay itself is not as thrilling as it used to be. And this is this. Resident Evil Vendetta is a joyride. You are tagging along for the ride. And if you loved Chris, Leon and Rebecca (not so much, mind you) then you will find yourself right at home.

I give it a 9 out of 10 because the action scenes are SO BAD ASS that if you miss them, you are absolutely missing out on some actual creativity.

Watch it.

A Cure for Wellness (2016)

Stunning. Disturbing. Gorgeous.

[10/10 · 31 May 2017]

I rarely see a movie that is so well made that I just could not afford to miss a one second of. That is that movie. It is just so well put together that the experience is a long lasting. The props, lighting, actors, sets, music, camera work, atmosphere, visuals, gore, special effects, casting, dialogues, writing - everything in this film is a masterpiece. I could be a stickler and pinpoint some of the shortcomings of this film but in all actuality I see no point in doing that as some films were made to make one think, and "A cure for wellness" is such a film.

I do not want to spoil anything for anybody so I will not even say anything about the plot however bear in mind that the movie starts off disturbing and ends on the same note.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.

10/10

I would have given 11/10 I there was such an option. Yup - it was THAT good.

Dead Awake (2016)

What the hell, Jocelin?

[2/10 · 14 May 2017]

Watching "Dead Awake" made me sleepy. The acting was so dreadful I honestly wanted to get sleep paralysis myself - I guess experiencing that (horryfying condition nonetheless) would have been more interesting than listening to the wooden dialogues, watching no chemistry between ANY of the characters. The music that was such crap, that I honestly thought it was put on there by accident, the camera work, the lights, the sound in general, those inconsistencies. It was ...........

Nah.... you know what? No. To hell with it - watch it! I could go on and on and tell you why this movie is so appalling but no - watch it and see for yourself.

And when you reach the 50-minute mark and you get to the point where the main lead asks "Where's Linda?" and you get to "experience" the dialogue that follows.... the "ACTING" from both of the female characters pretty much sums up this garbage of a movie.

Yeah, watch it.

I suppose all I can say to the team that made this film is.... "great job" (with sarcastic, Heath Ledger's Joker's clapping).

2/10 because I know that Jocelin CAN act, it just seems to me she forgot how to do it this time.

Curtain!

My God, was that movie terrible.....

Attack of the Killer Donuts (2016)

Move along, nothing to see here.

[1/10 · 30 April 2017]

I am writing this review as a warning to all of those, who are in the market for a B movie, full of cheese and chuckles.

It's not the movie you are looking for - move along, nothing to see here.

The movie starts off idiotic, serves you a plate full of bacon (yes, seriously) as an opener and then it just goes downhill from there. The acting is atrocious. So is the sound and camera work.

The movie looks like it was made as a school project but it is somehow even on the lower level than that. If you can make it through more than 20 minutes of this tripe I don't know what to say to you..

Sorry? Congrats?

It is that awful.

I have seen many films that were so bad they're good but it seems to have been trying too hard to be bad that it actually is unwatchable. If you want to watch a bad movie and have a few laughs, watch Troll 2 instead. Again, if need be.

Stay away from "Attack of the killer donuts".

Just stay away.

Patient Seven (2016)

Well made technically, but badly executed.

[4/10 · 12 October 2016]

The movie starts out like a cool story: we have a big shot doctor who is tackling every patient in this run-down mental institution. We have good actors, some more known than others, but even the lesser known actors do a good job here. The visuals and SFX are very good. The colors, lights, grading, sound effects, special effects, gore. It's all there. So why the 4/10 score?

The movie lacks everything else. It lacks the SSS: Sense, substance and scares.

This review is chaotic, I know, but still not as chaotic and rushed as this film was. The movie doesn't know if it wants to be a comedy, horror, sci-fi, drama. It just goes in circles and never seems to fit anywhere.

I honestly wanted it to end halfway through, but once it ended I was even more like "seriously.....?" Nope. That's not how you end a (boring) movie.

Don't watch it. Just let it be.

If you want scares, turn off the lights, put your headphones on and rent The Babadook.

Lights Out (II) (2016)

Time lost hurt me more than the money I spent.

[2/10 · 3 August 2016]

Alright, I was kinda hyped for this movie, since everybody was like "see this if you are not easily scared".

They forgot to add "because you will get a yawn fest".

I have to admit the movie looks pretty. It is really pretty. The cast are pretty, the sets are pretty. The light is pretty, the intro is pretty. After the intro, the movie is pretty......

..dumb.

And not "horror-dumb" kind of way, rather dumb in a "this is plain dumb" way.

The decisions the characters make, the lame and way-too-much-straight-into- your-face expositions. The jump scares that made no sense. The lack of character development. It all made me yawn at about 1/3rd of the movie. And later on was only worse. The dialogues, the music/sound effects, the monster, the reveal, the lack of character depth made me wish for them to die, rather the opposite. The ways to fight the monster back were ridiculous. And the ending? The dumbest ending I have seen in a long time.

Christ, this movie made me angry. So promising and yet - ultimate letdown.

Rent it. Or not.

Better not.

ClownTown (2016)

Clowns deserve better

[2/10 · 7 July 2016]

This movie is utter trash. Pure and simple.

I could go on about the atrocious acting, mediocre gore, run-of-the-mill baddies and so on and so forth but instead I'm gonna tell you this - stay away from this trash.

I do love myself a good clown horror - clowns have this mix of "always smiling, yet at the same time emotionless" type of thing. These clown all lack that. Some people will go for this flick because of the nudity which again - it is there, but in this movie you end up feeling like "tits? oh whatever". Unless you are a teenage boy you are going to roll your eyes and fast forward to the next scene. To avoid acting that is.

Do yourself a favor and look elsewhere.

Jon Watt's "Clown" is one option.

Cell (I) (2016)

If you read the book, you'll love it.

[9/10 · 10 June 2016]

This is my first review in here and I have to write something to defend this film.

As a die hard Stephen King fan, and a huge fan of the original book this movie was based on I have to admit that it is a solid attempt at making this story come to life.

For the most time the whole movie is well-paced and sticks quite good to the original concept of the novel. To me, that is a plus, since most of the time, Mr. King's works hadn't had the best of luck in that department. There are a few jump scares but for the most part the movie is just feeding you with the creepiness and the feel of unease. Like the book did to me. Seriously. That does not happen often at all, let alone in King's adaptations (the only exception being "The Mist").

The performances were decent, although I felt like the movie could have gone on for a while longer giving us some more background on all of the main characters. That way we would have felt more connected with them, or understood why they make some of their decisions (ie. the lady in the bar). I feel like the movie speaks more to the folk who read the book, which is both a positive and a negative thing. Positive, in a way that us - fans of the book - feel like we are being fed the right amount of Mr. King's genius. Negative in a way that people who missed out on the book tend to feel like they are a bit left out on some of the details.

And then there are the special effects - I seriously don't understand why some of the reviewers bash the movie's special effects. They are not there to create the atmosphere, but rather, to bump it up by filling in the gaps. To make it all seem more whole. I don't want to go into details as to not to spoil anything, but I just want to give everyone heads up to NOT rely on the movie's CGI to reel you in. It's not that kind of film.

In summation:

Just give it time, keep your mind open, switch the lights off and put on a good set of headphones. And don't forget to switch your cellphone off..