bloodthirstyaction Reviews

The Time Machine (2002)

I remember seeing the preview for this as a youngster... then viewed the film as an adult

[7/10 · 1 April 2010]

like my summary says, I saw this preview as a kid and was absolutely astounded. The effects, the story, the magic... the film looked amazing. Sadly I never had the opportunity to watch this film, I found myself detained to the educational viewings which I was limited to at the time. Despite these educational shows being a positive influence on my life, I WAS BORED! I didn't want muppets or Bill Nye or Disney movies! I wanted action, suspense, and explosions. So 20 years later I reluctantly popped in this worn out disc which I had gotten from the neighborhood Block Buster and what I got... was THE TIME MACHINE. First of all I have one simple issue with this film. The main protagonist, whatever his name was, is a complete loser who spends all his time staring at mathematics and barely sees the life of day; and for some odd reason he is able to score some really hot chick who loves him for "who he is" He has this loser friend who he hangs with... he's a real fat dude. kinda pompous. I don't know if McDonalds was around then but the basic existence of this fat pudgy character is reason enough that this restaurant should be avoided. Then there's some crazy old woman he stays with who is delusional or something for letting this whacked up Bill Nye reject stay with her. Nevermind these unimportant undeveloped characters. I don't want to give anything away but basically the random hot chick gets shot. Bill Nye reject draws some weird math formulas and creates this humungous TIME MACHINE. With this machine you can only guess... Bill Nye reject goes back in time. He tries to save her but she gets ran over by a wagon. Eventually Bill Nye reject comes to the conclusion that he can't change the past so he must go into the future... "makes sense right?". Now he goes to the future in his TIME MACHINE, and lands in some futuristic cities. So check this out, Bill Nye reject has this big obnoxious time machine in the middle of the street and nobody notices it. Classic. Now he meets this intelligent black hologram who looks like the local stalker who just escaped from prison. The black hologram talks to him about the time travel being impossible so Bill Nye reject goes into the future again to see the moon blowing up. But in the midst of danger he is able to use THE TIME MACHINE, to escape into an even more futuristic future. Once he arrives here he sees a war between a tarzan village and some creature that look like Demonic Muppets. And trust me, these suckers could swallow up Big Bird in one bite. He fights them gets the tarzan chick saves the world bada bing bada boom. Now here is the best part of the movie... we go back to the past and see the fat dude and the old woman talking about how long he has been gone. Bill Nye reject has been gone about a year and they act like he just left yesterday. COME ONE FAT DUDE DON"T YOU CARE ABOUT SOMETHING BESIDE YOUR DONUTS! If you had been nicer to Bill Nye reject he could have transported you to the present so you can have a Crispy Creme donut. But NOOOOOOO! So the sum this film up what can I say... it wasn't the explosive thrill ride with twists and turns that I had expected it to be when I was young, but it was still a solid good time which brought the child back in me. Well actually it kind of ruined my image of Bill Nye, the muppets, and basically every Disney movie I saw as a youth. But whatever! So if you ever have time and it's rainy outside and you don't have a girlfriend/ life or you're just simply too much of a failure to get out of the house.... pop on the pop corn maker sit back relax and hitch a ride on THE TIME MACHINE!

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Are you staring at me or are you staring at the clock?

[7/10 · 31 January 2010]

Well either way I sure am not staring at this atrocious film. Or am I? Well, being a fanboy of the original films and seeing the trailer for this flick thinking, "Is this for real? Am I actually seeing an Alien Vs. Predator film that takes it to the streets. The answer is yes. But these would be the streets of the most run down ghetto slum that exists. The film has some decent acting from the cop and the army chick but beside that wow... the younger brother was trying to be a stud but failed miserably. The "hot chick" says about 2 lines that aren't very convincing and trust me... she gets what she deserves. The bully is just a dumb brute. And the older brother, don't get me started on that guy. He was like a fonz-meets Easy Rider type guy and he was just junk. My favorite character would have to be the pizza hut guy who says "screw saving the women and children this isn't titanic" That is absolutely hilarious. The fight scenes are good between the monsters but the build up is way too long. The movie in a nutshell is basically... oh someone dies, lets check it out... oh someone dies, lets check it out. It's monotonous to say the least. During the final chaos scenes in the city the film does get better and some of the scenery is fantastic. Because I am easily amused, I'll give a 6 out of 10. Well, I take that back. That Titanic line was pretty funny. I'll give it a 7 out of 10. But to an average viewer, I suggest putting some thought into your moral standards before seeing this flick. Acting -5/10 Story 4/10 Action 7/10 Titanic Line and Swimming Scene 10/10 Overall 7/10

Fled (1996)

Fun film that pays tribute to other action films

[6/10 · 16 May 2009]

Of course many people will say this movie was irrational and unoriginal, and truthfully, it was. But beside the lack of creativity, the film was actually a fun little action flick. The film is split into two main segments. The first part is a fugitive run away type chase that is somewhat entertaining. The 2nd takes part in the city that consists of many twists and "dramatic" deaths. Neither of these parts are amazingly great but they are both watchable. Fishburne is the stiff no nonsense character that he usually is and Baldwin is the rather silly but intelligent technical geek. The film, in my opinion, is somewhat of a homage to older action films and was worth a watch.

Story 6/10 Action 7/10 Acting 6/10 Watchability 6/10 Total 6/10