vonseux Reviews

Whatever (1999)

Boring movie, buy the book

[5/10 · 20 March 2013]

As a Houellebecq enthusiast I saw this movie with great expectations. Unfortunately, it is not as enjoyable as the movie Elementarteilchen - which is colorful, beautiful and bitter-sweet funny even as it deals with the same subjects - the voice-overs on this movie is boring as hell and there's little to no action on screen. It's more a guided reading trought Houellebecq text than a real movie. The actor playing Our Hero is not ironic, intelligent and cynical as the character on the book, he too looks boring as hell. 2 hours of this movie isn't worth reading 15minutes of any chapter on the book. The tone is all wrong. Avoid.

Elementarteilchen (2006)

A rich adaptation of a very complicated book

[9/10 · 6 March 2013]

I think this movie have accomplished something very rare. It's an adaptation that respects the spirit of the novel but doesn't follow it blindly. That's very welcome because Houellebecque is notorious for his polemical discussions, something that would be very hard to fit on a movie or entertainment television. The Movie, then, avoids any major discussion of society, individualism, decadence, and the scientific fiction that closes the novel. It keeps things simple and offers viewers only the "story" of the two brothers, keeping the more hardcore stuff on the books. Photography is very colorful, casting is excellent. The new ending is beautiful. At the bottom, maybe the best introduction to Houellebecque's world.

Hugo (2011)

diasppointing after reading the book

[6/10 · 9 March 2012]

The books is a kids book so I tough the movie would be so much better, but then they took of some key plot elements for absolute nothing. For once, the conflict between Hugo and the girl in the movie is just boring! on the book hugo keeps his story a secret as long as he can, he steals the key from the girl! When the automata draws the picture, they fight and torn the paper in two. Later he discovers that the girl stoled the key herself from her godmother and its accused of being a thief not better than hugo; that was pretty effective on the book, and its just gone! But the book has some problems too, the reason why Meliés quit making movies and buried his pas is unsatisfying to say the least. The movie could improve that, but... the only thing right it made was the station inspector that added fun moments while being really fearful to hugo I also did'nt like the acting (Kingsley was good, of course), the editing and the special effects. A big letdown overall. I did watch this movie on 3D so there's no comment on this, and I really don't care about 3D

A Cat in Paris (2010)

beautiful animation, boring chase plot

[7/10 · 19 February 2012]

The only reason you should see this movie is the beautiful art/animation. Colors and scenarios are gorgeous but the plot is quite boring, old and basic, its just one chase after another. If anything is worthwhile in the script is that there's no moral implications, not everything is merry and bright with the "good" characters; but we can account this on the film being french. Far from the political-correctness from USA animations.

The main character is a cat, that bonds a little girl to a jewelry thief. But there's also a big-time mafia leader that the girl's mother investigates restlessly, making her an absent mother that can't spend much time with her daughter, traumatized after her's father death. Everything comes together with this 4 characters in the streets of Paris and the church of Notre-dame.

Kick-Ass (2010)

There is nothing fun about a 11 year murderer

[1/10 · 5 October 2010]

this movie has more free-violence than any war movie I call recall, and it's done by an cold blooded 11 year old. Also, the only superhero movie where the GOOD guys are more perverse than the actual bad guys. I know this is based on a comic book, but i'll wont bother to read it, i doubt it covers all the plot holes. Did i've said that the 11 murderer kills people who are already down? Or what about the super-smart Big Daddy making idiot moves when the bad written plot demands? The characters have no life, the only reason to be there is to make pure, cold violence. I had to stop the movie several times, thinking why i'm still watching this? DAMM WATCHMEN was violent too, but it gave a hard atmosphere and background. It shows how to make a 'real life' superheroes thing. Kick-ass, in it's colour dandy world, only shows how it is cool to kill people with cool moves, and dropping blood on the screen is cool too. So kids, go buy a comic and learn how to Kill people. There's even a scene where the camera go on First Person mode... like an video game! Don't let your kids wacth this. Or anyone you care about

JCVD (2008)

Pure Metalanguage

[10/10 · 26 February 2010]

This movie will be a real exercise in film-making. The script, camera play and dialog are jewels. The Metalanguage here is beyond anything I've seem my whole life, it really breaks down the barrier between fiction and reality. Even tough the film is a fan-service, and one will understand the film better if knows the rise and fall of JCVD (the actor), the famous monologue is just mesmerizing, he should be nominated for Oscar. At the ending of the monologue, he says "this is not a movie anymore", I've felt a chill. The very ending of the movie is also very climatic, when he find his expectations broken, being not a hero. I cant say more without spoil the movie, but trust me and the others readers; GET THIS FILM

Intimate Strangers (2006 Video)

Best porn i've ever seen

[10/10 · 1 September 2007]

This is the best porn movie i've ever seen. Not that i have seen much, actually i got into this movie randomly. There's a story behind the couples and it's quite well done for a porn. A gorgeous woman (Lanny Barby) is having some sexual problems with her husband and search a psych, who is married to a tattooed woman (Joanna Angel). Lanny's husband hires a hooker to help they with their relationship, which happens to be a absolute gorgeous blonde, very sexy and everything you'll ever dream.

The picture on this movie is very colorful, with some blur effect. The angles are well chosen to show everything been sexy and not scatological. It's a movie you can watch with your girlfriend or wife. All the models are very pretty and different: a brunette, a cute blonde, a tattooed one, an mature woman. There are 3 guys to take care of this babies. Top quality