As was the case in "Her Pen Pal", Mallory Jansen's talents are being wasted on weak material. This whole movie was a hot mess: convoluted plot line, no chemistry between leads or likable characters. Supposedly Frankie Quinn is a forensic detective but there were no scenes of her using a lab or taking samples or even lifting fingerprints. I'm not sure what Hallmark is trying to do here. Be darker and grittier? Come off as the anti-Aurora Teagarden? Unless better story lines come along don't even bother trying to make a series out of this. Bring back the Martha's Vineyard Mysteries, Mystery 101, etc. Those were entertaining and fun to watch.
Reviews
5 Reviews
The Nature of Romance
(2021 TV Movie)
Ugh
24 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The problem with movies like these is that the main characters are always portrayed as clueless over the most obvious of things. They really didn't know that animals will eat food left outside? They didn't know how to level the RV, or bring enough quarters for the shower, etc. Etc. And the main actresses could not act. Moving on...
Rip in Time
(2022 TV Movie)
An improvement in Hallmark movies
31 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
If this is the direction that Hallmark is going in since the big shake-up with GAC, it's an improvement. No nosy mother or girlfriend telling the main character to get a man; her business is thriving instead of being on the verge of failure like in so many other plotlines; and the kid's father isn't "in heaven", but just a "baby daddy"(!!), which is in a first in Hallmark. Plus, now that the Aurora Teagarden movies are gone since Candace Cameron Bure jumped ship to GAC, Niall Matter has a chance to shine, and he's a much better actor than previous material has allowed him to be. The only reason this doesn't get a 10 is that realistically the media should have been stalking Rip and trying to figure out where this magical cave was. Anyhow, this film is enjoyable and more mature than the usual Hallmark fare, and I agree with other reviewers that this is as good as writer CJ Cox's other film "Love Strikes Twice". I hope Hallmark keeps up this trend.
The Ultimate Legacy
(2016 TV Movie)
Ugh. I can't even.
7 March 2018
I up picked up this movie because it had a great cast: Bill Cobbs, Raquel Welch, Brian Dennehy, Doug Jones, and Lee Meriwether (and what seemed to be a fleeting image of James Garner on a video screen). Unfortunately the bulk of the acting rests on the feeble shoulders of young thespian lightweights you're not likely to hear about anytime soon. Moody Actor #1 plays Joey, a spoiled rich kid who stands to inherit millions from his grandma's estate. The story sets about establishing that he's got "issues", and the young lawyers surrounding him are unprofessional schmucks who are unnecessarily cagey about the terms or "gifts" he has to fulfill in a year (a YEAR!) in order to receive that money. Supposedly Joey is a selfish ass but within the first 15 minutes of the movie he's already redesigning a memorial for his grandma and giving food to the homeless. So what was the jerky behavior that convinced everyone Joey was a pampered brat who needed to spend a year (a YEAR!) to prove his worth?
Moody Actor #2 plays one of the lawyers. He has a beautiful wife and daughter and laments that he can't spend more time with them because he has to babysit Joey and make sure he fulfills his "gifts". Well, dude, why don't you? Whenever his wife asks him to spend more time with his family he's not with Joey, he's at his office, pounding away on a keyboard and having absolutely no paperwork on his desk (gotta love the digital age).
Ditzy Actress plays another lawyer. She wears tiny skirts and heels so high they keep sinking into the lawn every time she crosses it to bring Joey a snack. The inevitability of her ending up with Joey is woefully obvious, and apparently her only purpose in the movie as you never really see her doing any legal work. Rounding out this flaccid cast are the Tolken Black Cast Member, John Davidson's son (looks like him, anyway), and Random White Guys.
I could go on but look, the point is, don't see this movie. Raquel Welch has 5 minutes of screen time, as does Cobbs, Dennehy, Meriwether and Jones. Oh, Doug Jones... I specifically picked up this title because in a recent interview he talked about how much fun it was for him to not have to wear a creature suit in a movie, yet even someone of his caliber is barely on screen. If the pitch for this film was "Let's have a weak story and hire a great cast that we don't use in favor of millennials you've never heard of", this is the result. Save yourself the frustration and rewatch "Hellboy 2".
Moody Actor #2 plays one of the lawyers. He has a beautiful wife and daughter and laments that he can't spend more time with them because he has to babysit Joey and make sure he fulfills his "gifts". Well, dude, why don't you? Whenever his wife asks him to spend more time with his family he's not with Joey, he's at his office, pounding away on a keyboard and having absolutely no paperwork on his desk (gotta love the digital age).
Ditzy Actress plays another lawyer. She wears tiny skirts and heels so high they keep sinking into the lawn every time she crosses it to bring Joey a snack. The inevitability of her ending up with Joey is woefully obvious, and apparently her only purpose in the movie as you never really see her doing any legal work. Rounding out this flaccid cast are the Tolken Black Cast Member, John Davidson's son (looks like him, anyway), and Random White Guys.
I could go on but look, the point is, don't see this movie. Raquel Welch has 5 minutes of screen time, as does Cobbs, Dennehy, Meriwether and Jones. Oh, Doug Jones... I specifically picked up this title because in a recent interview he talked about how much fun it was for him to not have to wear a creature suit in a movie, yet even someone of his caliber is barely on screen. If the pitch for this film was "Let's have a weak story and hire a great cast that we don't use in favor of millennials you've never heard of", this is the result. Save yourself the frustration and rewatch "Hellboy 2".
Insufferable
20 May 2007
The beauty of American Experience is the coherent way each episode lays out the factual history of an event or person and how it enriched the history of America. This pukeful entry is a cross between tabloid and a Monty Python sketch. Simon Schama, in every other frame looking like a bobble-head doll, insists on making himself the focus of the program by defending his choice to fictionalize the account. Why not present the facts of the case and let the viewers come to their own conclusions? I'm surprised this was made at all, since this comes across more as a promo and an overall "cover my a--" for Schama-lama-ding-dong than a legitimate documentary.
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